VEYRA POV
I couldn't breathe.
The silver light from my eyes was fading, flickering like a dying candle, and the power that had surged through me moments ago was twisting into something else, something that felt like my body was trying to tear itself apart from the inside.
I collapsed into the dirt, my massive white wolf form shuddering, and then I was human again, naked and shaking and bleeding from places I didn't even know I'd been hurt.
"What's happening to me?" I gasped out loud, my voice cracking.
The awakening, my wolf said, and her voice wasn't the roar from before, it was quieter now but still strong, still ancient. Your body held me down for eighteen years. Breaking free isn't gentle.
"It hurts."
Good. Pain means you're alive.
I tried to push myself up but my arms gave out and I face-planted into the forest floor, tasting dirt and blood and my own tears. The broken mate bond was still screaming in my chest, a wound that wouldn't stop bleeding, and now my entire body felt like it was on fire.
"I can't—I can't do this."
Yes, you can. You've survived worse.
"No, I haven't," I sobbed, curling into myself. "Nothing's been worse than this."
Liar. My wolf replied me.
And suddenly I was back there, back in Obsidian Fang, back in the memories I'd spent years trying to forget.
"Look at her, she can't even shift properly."
I was twelve and stuck halfway between human and wolf, my body refusing to complete the transformation while the other kids laughed and pointed and threw rocks at me.
"Freak."
"Weakling."
"Why doesn't she just die already?"
My wolf whimpered in my head but she was so small, so quiet, and I couldn't make her come out properly no matter how hard I tried.
"Stop it!" Lyssa's voice cut through the taunting and she pushed through the crowd, putting herself between me and them. "Leave her alone."
"Why do you even care?" one of the boys sneered. "She's useless."
"She's pack," Lyssa shot back. "That means something."
It didn't, though. Not really. The bullying continued, just more carefully when Lyssa was around.
"You're pathetic." My aunt's voice, cold and sharp as she looked down at me after another failed shift. "Your mother died giving birth to you and this is what we got? A defective wolf who can't even do the one thing we're born to do?"
"I'm trying—"
"Try harder." She walked away, leaving me bleeding on the training ground floor where I'd collapsed.
I was fourteen then.
"The prophecy speaks of a Moon's daughter," Elder Mordain said during a pack meeting when I was sixteen. "One who will bring destruction to those who reject her."
Everyone looked at me.
"She's too weak to destroy anything," someone muttered, but others weren't so sure.
That's when the abuse got worse. Not just bullying anymore, but actual violence. They hurt me because they were afraid of what I might become, and I couldn't even defend myself because my wolf was barely there.
Only Lyssa still talked to me. Only Lyssa still cared.
"Don't let them break you," she'd whispered once, holding my hand after a particularly bad beating. "You're stronger than you think."
I didn't believe her.
The memories released me and I was back in the forest, shaking and crying and bleeding.
"See?" my wolf said softly. You survived all of that. You can survive this.
"But why?" I demanded, my voice breaking. "Why did I have to suffer like that? What was the point?"
The point was to make you strong enough for what comes next.
"I'm not strong, I'm broken!"
You're both. And that's exactly what you need to be.
"That doesn't make any sense," I sobbed, pressing my forehead against the cold ground.
It will. Soon.
Another wave of heat crashed through me and I screamed, my back arching as something deep inside my chest shifted and cracked and reformed.
"What's happening?!" I gasped.
Your true form. Your real power. It was buried beneath weakness because your body couldn't handle it before.
"And now it can?!"
Now it has to. The bond breaking freed the seal.
"What seal?!"
The one your wolf placed on herself when you were born. The one that kept you alive but made you weak.
I tried to process that but another crack echoed through my body and I screamed again, this time feeling bones in my left arm break and reshape into something longer, stronger.
"Stop, please stop"
I can't. Neither can you. This is happening whether you want it or not.
"I don't want it!" I wailed. "I just want the pain to stop, I just want"
What? To go back to Obsidian Fang? To be their victim again?
"No"
To have Kaelthar love you? The male who just rejected you in front of everyone?
"No!"
Then what do you want, Veyra?
I didn't have an answer. I'd spent my whole life wanting to be normal, wanting to fit in, wanting to be accepted. And where had that gotten me? Rejected. Banished. Alone in a forest dying—no, not dying—transforming into something I didn't understand.
"I don't know what I want," I whispered.
Yes, you do. You want power. You want revenge. You want them to regret what they did.
"Is that so wrong?"
No. It's honest.
Another bone cracked, this time in my spine, and I felt my whole body lifting off the ground as something beneath my skin tried to break free.
"How long will this take?!" I screamed.
Days.
"Days?!"
Your body held me down for eighteen years. Did you think freedom would be quick?
"I can't survive days of this!"
You will. You're stronger than you know.
"I'm not!" I sobbed. "I'm weak, everyone said so, they were right"
They were wrong. My wolf's voice turned fierce. They saw weakness because that's what I let them see. But you, Veyra, you survived eighteen years of abuse and rejection and pain, and you're still here. Still fighting. That's not weakness. That's strength they couldn't break.
"Then why do I feel so broken?"
Because transformation isn't pretty. It's violent and messy and painful. But on the other side? You'll be everything they feared.
I wanted to believe her but another wave of agony crashed through me and I could only scream, my body convulsing as more bones cracked and reformed.
"Please," I begged no one in particular. "Please let this end."
It will, my wolf promised. But not yet. First, you have to break completely. Then we rebuild.
"I don't want to break anymore."
Too late. You've been breaking your whole life. This is just the first time it's happening on your terms.
"This isn't on my terms!" I shouted through tears and pain. "I didn't choose this!"
Kaelthar chose it for you when he rejected the bond. The prophecy chose it before you were born. The Moon Goddess chose it when she blessed your bloodline. But how you respond? That's your choice.
"What if I choose to die right here?"
You won't.
"How do you know?!"
Because if you wanted to die, you would've done it years ago when the abuse was at its worst. Instead, you survived. You endured. You hoped.
"Hope for what?! Look where hope got me!"
Hope for this moment. Hope for power. Hope for freedom.
"I'm not free, I'm in agony!"
Birth is agony. That doesn't make it less necessary.
Another crack, this time my ribs, and I felt something shift in my chest cavity, something making room for lungs that could hold more air, a heart that could pump more blood.
"I'm going to die," I whispered.
No. You're going to live. Really live, for the first time.
"I've been living"
No. You've been surviving. There's a difference.
Tears streamed down my face and I didn't have the strength to wipe them away. "What if I don't want to live like this? What if I just want it to stop?"
Then it stops. Your choice. Let go now and the transformation will kill you. Hold on and you'll become something they never imagined.
"Why should I hold on?" I demanded. "For revenge? That's not enough."
Then hold on for yourself. For the girl who suffered and deserved better. For the woman you could become.
"What if she's not worth it?"
She is. You are.
"You don't know that."
I'm you, Veyra. I've been with you since birth. I know every moment of pain, every tear, every time you wanted to give up but didn't. If that girl isn't worth fighting for, then nothing is.
My body jerked again and this time I felt my legs breaking and reforming, and the pain was so intense I couldn't even scream, I could only lie there shaking and crying and trying not to drown in the agony.
"I can't," I gasped. "I can't do this."
You're already doing it.
"I want Lyssa," I sobbed. "I want someone who cares, I want"
Lyssa didn't defend you tonight. She stood there and watched.
The words hit harder than any physical pain. "She was my friend."
Was she? Or was she just someone who felt sorry for you?
"That's cruel."
It's honest. And you need honesty right now, not comfort.
"I need—" But I didn't know what I needed anymore. The bond was gone, my pack was gone, my old life was gone, and all I had left was this agonizing transformation into something unknown.
"What if I hate what I become?" I whispered.
What if you love it? My Wolf retorted back.
"What if it's not enough?"
Enough for what?
"To make this worth it. All this pain, all this suffering—what if I transform and I'm still not enough?"
Enough for who? Kaelthar? The pack? They already proved they're not worth pleasing.
"Then for who?!"
For you.
I went quiet, my body still breaking and reforming but my mind suddenly still.
"For me?"
Yes. Stop measuring yourself by their standards. They called you weak because they couldn't understand your strength. They rejected you because they feared what you could become. But Veyra, none of that matters if you don't believe you're worth this transformation.
"I don't know if I do."
Then figure it out. Fast. Because this transformation won't wait for you to be ready.
Another crack, louder this time, and I felt my entire skeletal structure shifting, and I screamed so loud my throat went raw.
"Why is it taking so long?!" I sobbed.
Because you're not just shifting into your wolf. You're becoming your true self. The self that was buried beneath years of suppression and fear.
"I don't want to be like this!"
You don't want to be in pain. That's different from not wanting the power.
"What's the difference?!"
One is temporary. One is forever.
My body convulsed again and I tasted blood, felt bones in my jaw breaking and reforming, and suddenly I understood. This wasn't just a shift. This was a complete reconstruction of everything I'd been.
"How much more?" I begged.
Enough that you'll wish you were dead before it's over.
"That's not comforting!"
It's not meant to be. It's meant to be honest.
"I hate you."
No, you don't. You hate this. There's a difference.
"Same thing right now," I gasped, my vision blurring with tears and pain.
Then hate it. Hate me. Hate Kaelthar and the pack and the Moon Goddess and everyone who put you here. Use that hate to survive.
"That's exhausting."
So is dying. Pick your exhaustion.
Despite everything, I almost laughed. Almost. Then my ribcage cracked again and all I could do was scream.
That's it, my wolf encouraged. Scream. Let it out. Let them hear you in the distance and fear what's coming.
"What is coming?"
Us. Together. Whole. Powerful.
"What if I don't want power?"
Everyone wants power. They just pretend they don't because wanting it feels wrong.
"It does feel wrong."
Only because they taught you to feel that way. Power isn't evil, Veyra. It's what you do with it that matters.
"And what will I do with it?"
Whatever you want. That's the point of freedom.
My body seized again, this time every bone from neck to tailbone cracking in sequence, and I screamed until my voice gave out, until there was nothing left but silent agony and tears.
Almost there, my wolf whispered. Just a little longer.
"You said days," I managed to rasp.
I lied. Couldn't have you giving up in hour one.
"I hate you so much."
You'll thank me later.
"Doubtful."
We'll see.
One final crack, so loud it echoed through the entire forest, and my spine realigned completely, my body finally settling into its new configuration.
The pain didn't stop but it changed, became something I could breathe through instead of drown in.
"Is it over?" I gasped.
The breaking? Yes. The rebuilding? Just beginning.
"Of course it is."
My wolf laughed, actually laughed, and the sound was both terrifying and comforting.
Rest now. Tomorrow we start again.
"Again?!"
Did you think one night would be enough?
"I was hoping"
Hope less. Endure more. That's the key to survival.
My eyes started to close, exhaustion dragging me under despite the lingering pain.
"Wolf?"
Yes?
"What's your name?"
Silence for a moment, then: I don't have one yet. You'll give me one when this is over.
"What if I don't survive?"
You will.
"How do you know?"
Because in the distance, something just howled in answer to your scream. And that means you're not as alone as you think.
My eyes shot open. "What?"
But my wolf had gone quiet and I was left alone with my broken body
and the distant echo of a howl that might've been real or might've been my dying mind playing tricks.
Either way, I had no choice but to wait and see what came next.
If I survived the night.