(No, this isn't the time to think about that!)
Saiki pretended to read, but his mind was racing.
(I need to figure out a way. Shiina Mahiru comes over here way too often lately—especially recently—and from what I've observed, she seems to have a tiny bit of feelings for me… This is going to be trouble.)
Whenever Saiki recalled the weird girls from before who had feelings for him, they all…
(Even if she doesn't like me, this neighborly door-visiting is way too frequent. Should I find a way to keep her at a distance? But say it directly?)
Saiki's mind went over the past few months—how he'd treated Shiina Mahiru and the situation in her family.
If he said it straight out, right now Saiki could already see Shiina Mahiru feeling abandoned, deeply disappointed, yet forcing a smile while looking at him.
If possible, Saiki wouldn't want to say it in such a brutally hurtful way.
And actually, Saiki was right—most people might not think that way, but Shiina Mahiru definitely would.
Because of her twisted family background and growing up starved for love, even though her personality never showed anything strange on the surface.
Deep down there was always a little distortion—just that her mindset was personally strong. Especially a few months ago when she was verbally abused by her mother and rejected by her father.
After feeling complete despair, she met Saiki, and things gradually got better. She'd already mostly forgotten about her parents and only thought about Saiki now.
(But maybe not necessarily?)
Saiki watched Shiina Mahiru—like a little cat—trying to lean against him as much as possible, wanting to curl up beside him.
She unconsciously looked up, noticed their eyes meeting, blushed, instinctively pulled back a little, and turned her head away.
Shiina Mahiru [I… I got seen ⁄(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄]
Saiki: ...
(Yeah, probably.)
"..."
Afternoon.
"Mm, it's already five o'clock. Saiki-kun, I'm going out to buy some ingredients. What do you want for dinner tonight?"
Shiina Mahiru's eyes turned toward Saiki, who was still reading his novel beside her.
[Hm, I want tonkatsu.]
Saiki reflexively answered in their usual conversational mode.
"Okay, I'll head out then."
After Shiina Mahiru left, Saiki lay back on the sofa, closed the novel, and set it aside.
[Earlier I was planning to seriously think about how to say it, but I accidentally got too absorbed in the novel. Damn it.]
He looked at the sunset in the sky.
"Beep—"
After buying the ingredients, Shiina Mahiru answered a phone call. After a while, the smile on her face seemed to vanish because of the call.
...
[Damn it, is everything over? There are lots of methods, but too many are too extreme.]
With a "click," the doorknob turned. Shiina Mahiru came back in, head lowered, holding the groceries.
Seeing Shiina Mahiru's mood swing so drastically compared to when she left.
Saiki felt a hint of confusion.
Shiina Mahiru said nothing, still keeping her head down as she walked into the kitchen, passing by Saiki.
[Shiina-san?]
Shiina Mahiru paused for a moment when she heard Saiki's voice, then turned, took a deep breath, turned back with a smile, and answered: "Saiki-kun, I'm back. I bought all the ingredients. Just wait a bit— it'll be ready soon!"
Saiki stared intently for a moment, then his eyes moved as if in thought. After that, his expression returned to normal.
[Hm.]
Saiki answered calmly, then turned back and sat properly. Shiina Mahiru began bustling around in the kitchen.
(Just now I couldn't hear Shiina-san's thoughts at all—she wasn't thinking anything. It's hard for a person to think nothing, especially at a moment when our eyes should meet. Something definitely happened earlier.)
(Does she have some worry on her mind?)
Although Saiki was curious, asking directly would be useless—he knew that. So he sat to the side, planning to slowly eavesdrop on Shiina Mahiru's inner voice.
Shiina Mahiru slowly lifted her head and looked at Saiki's back. A flicker of conflict passed through her eyes, mixed with struggle and pain.
Shiina Mahiru [From now on, I probably won't be able to live so carefree with Saiki-kun like this anymore. I might not even see Saiki again after this.]
❓
(What does that mean? She went out for a bit, I haven't even decided what to do yet, and she's already come to terms with it on her own?)
But what Shiina Mahiru thought next let Saiki understand what had happened when she went out.
It turned out…
There was another problem with the Shiina family—strictly speaking, with Shiina Mahiru's parents.
As previously known, Shiina Mahiru's parents were only forced into marriage for family interests, and she was born from an unintended one-night stand.
So the two had no real feelings for Shiina Mahiru—or rather, they did have feelings, but the kind that was disgust.
Because Shiina Mahiru's parents hated each other just as much, whenever they saw Shiina Mahiru they saw the shadow of the person they hated, so they didn't want to acknowledge having this daughter at all.
They didn't like each other, and they didn't like this daughter. Their private lives couldn't exactly be called chaotic—only that both cheated, and each had multiple mistresses/lovers.
Even more outrageous was that their affairs got exposed to the Shiina family, so Shiina Mahiru's parents were disowned…
And Shiina Mahiru was disowned along with them. Isn't that ridiculous?
The call Shiina Mahiru received outside was the notification—and it was from her own grandfather.
To be honest, Shiina Mahiru's grandfather had no real affection for his granddaughter either—he treated her the same way he treated his son, as nothing more than a tool for political marriage.
So earlier, when there was an engagement with the Saiki family, Shiina Mahiru's grandfather was quite pleased.
But later it got called off, so Shiina Mahiru's living conditions, treatment, and image all declined. Her grandfather's attitude shifted from indifference to disgust.
He just called Shiina Mahiru.
Shiina Mahiru usually received calls from her grandfather the least, so when she answered, she still had a little expectation.
But her grandfather used a cold, calm tone that completely shattered the hope in Shiina Mahiru's heart.
Although her grandfather phrased it as a discussion, his tone was completely commanding.
"Mahiru! Don't say Grandpa doesn't care about you or give you any chances. Now Grandpa's giving you two options. One: come back home. Grandpa will arrange a marriage for you. Even though you were broken off before and many families will refuse to ally with us now, Grandpa can still find other options. If you choose this, you're still Grandpa's granddaughter.
Two: If you refuse the first, you'll be completely disowned… From now on, go find your parents and do whatever you want. It has nothing to do with our family anymore!"
"..."