Saiki: ...
(Do you really have to stand that far away? He's your boyfriend!!)
Saiki didn't want to experience social death again after junior high, so he said helplessly,
[Alright, alright, fine. Then let's do one last round. Listen up, this is the absolute last one. After I finish this, I'm leaving.]
"Okay, sure, no problem. Let's settle it once and for all, Saiki."
Akazawa Itsuki let go of Saiki's thigh, stood up, patted his butt, and put on a very calm expression.
As if the embarrassing guy who was attracting attention by hugging Saiki's thigh earlier wasn't him at all.
Saiki patted the wrinkles on his pants leg from earlier.
[So what should we compete in? There aren't many things left that we haven't compared yet in terms of slimming down or whatever. Pretty much everything that could be compared before has already been done. You pick.]
"Hmm…"
Akazawa Itsuki furrowed his brows. [Saiki's right. Pretty much everything that could be compared has been. Everyone we hadn't compared with before has been compared. For the rest, I feel like I can't beat Saiki anyway. What should I do?]
Akazawa Itsuki scratched his head and looked at Shirakawa Chitose. "Chitose, what do you think…"
"What else is there to think? I'll just stand here and watch. No matter what you compete in, I don't think you'll win."
After Shirakawa Chitose finished speaking, she checked her phone. It wasn't even noon yet. She patted Akazawa Itsuki. "Itsuki, time's almost up."
"Huh, already? But we still haven't decided yet."
Saiki saw that the two of them looked like they had something going on.
[What's up? Do you have something to do? If you do, then never mind. Go take care of it first.]
Shirakawa Chitose: "Well, yesterday I saw on the bedsheet... I mean, I saw that there's a long cat plushie rock-paper-scissors tournament nearby."
[What the heck is that?]
"It's like, you play rock-paper-scissors and win a plushie. It seems to be a big one, for use as a hug pillow. It looks pretty popular…"
Akazawa Itsuki froze for a moment, then came up with an idea. Facing Saiki, he said, "I've got it. Let's use this: rock-paper-scissors."
[Rock-paper-scissors? Are you sure…]
Akazawa Itsuki nodded. "Let's both join this rock-paper-scissors tournament. Whoever advances further wins."
[We have to join the actual tournament? It's kind of a hassle, hmm... Alright, fine.]
"Yay!"
Akazawa Itsuki clenched his fist. [Even though in previous matches with Saiki, rock-paper-scissors was one of them, and even if Saiki was going easy on me, I've gradually figured it out. Rock-paper-scissors is what Saiki is worst at.
This time, with so many people playing rock-paper-scissors together, as long as Saiki loses in one round, if I last longer than him, I win. Heh heh, bet you didn't expect that.]
(Yare yare, so that's what you were thinking in your head? But of all things to pick, you had to pick this one.)
Saiki remembered back in kindergarten, when he used to play rock-paper-scissors with the other kids. He never lost once, not a single time.
Some even cheated by holding up their index finger and thumb like a gun, but Saiki countered with the same move and forced a tie.
Then he became known throughout the entire kindergarten as the playground tyrant. Many kids who had rock-paper-scissors battles with Saiki ended up crying.
It went on until the kindergarten teacher couldn't stand it anymore and challenged Saiki herself.
At first it was fine; the teacher played normally, but then it changed from best of three to best of five, best of ten for six wins, and later to best of a hundred for one win. As long as the teacher won once, she would win.
But unfortunately, the teacher never won even once. In the end, she got so angry and humiliated that she raised her fist to let Saiki feel an adult's power, but Saiki swiftly teleported away and dodged it. After that, that teacher was never seen at the kindergarten again.
"Okay, then let's hurry. If we wait any longer, it'll be too late."
Shirakawa Chitose grabbed Akazawa Itsuki and started dragging him, while also calling to Saiki, "Hurry up…"
Saiki snapped out of his memories and followed.
[Coming, coming…]
...
"The entry tickets for the rock-paper-scissors tournament are being distributed here. Please line up properly and wait patiently."
In front, a staff member wearing a red outfit and red cap was holding a megaphone. Ahead of him were several long lines forming massive queues. Saiki was at the back, watching.
[There are way too many people.]
Saiki grumbled inwardly amid the crowd.
[At first I thought there might be a decent number, but I didn't expect this many. And this line is ridiculously long.]
Akazawa Itsuki, in front of Saiki, said, "Of course! Saiki, haven't you heard? Chitose already said it's super popular. And this is just the south store location. There's a ton more at the north store."
[There's even more at the north store?! Ugh, what a pain…]
Shirakawa Chitose: "Hehe, sorry about that, Saiki."
Akazawa Itsuki saw Saiki's displeased expression and felt a bit better. He persuaded, "You already agreed earlier. This is just the final round, no big deal. It'll be quick. You can't go back on your word now."
Saiki shot Akazawa Itsuki a glare.
(Tch, you brat. Just you wait.)
[Fine, fine, I get it. If I said I'd do it, I'll do it.]
"Hehe."
A long while later...
Saiki finally got his entry ticket and walked into the sea of people inside.
Shirakawa Chitose couldn't help but exclaim, "So many people!"
There was someone in what looked like a cat costume wriggling around on stage. A staff member standing nearby announced over the broadcast:
"Alright, everyone, you've all been waiting eagerly, right? Then let's start our rock-paper-scissors tournament now!"
(Yeah, we really were waiting too long.)
"First, you'll play rock-paper-scissors with big sister here. Those who win, please come up onto the stage. Okay, begin."
[Finally starting.]
Akazawa Itsuki, beside him, pretended to push up nonexistent glasses and said to Saiki, "Heh heh!! Saiki, this time I won't lose. To be honest with you, back in kindergarten, people called me the campus rock-paper-scissors king."
[Your titles are as over-the-top as ever.]
"Then, rock-paper-scissors…"
The people below raised their hands and started the first round. After it ended, Akazawa Itsuki covered his face with both hands, sat sideways on the ground, and wailed, "Why, why? Why…"
[You're seriously useless.]
Shirakawa Chitose couldn't hold back either and commented, "No way, Itsuki, you're way too weak. You lost in the first round."
"Waaah～"
Hearing Shirakawa Chitose's words, Akazawa Itsuki cried even harder at Saiki's feet.
(Don't cry right next to me. Go somewhere else.)
...
In the end, it was Saiki and some random guy standing on stage.
The staff member with the microphone said, "Alright, then let's begin the final match. Rock-paper-scissors…"
The result, of course, was Saiki's victory.
[Yare yare, I might lose at anything else, but rock-paper-scissors? There's no way I lose. With my ability to read what's in people's heads, it's impossible. Even against people whose thoughts I can't hear through telepathy, I've never lost.]
Saiki held a giant long cat hug pillow in his left arm. [Should I take this home? It doesn't look that cute. We already have Doraemon at home.]
From the corner of his eye, Saiki caught a glimpse of a yellow figure.
[Umaru?]