Akazawa Itsuki led Saiki over to the riddle quiz machine.
"How about it, Saiki? This is a brand-new one. Let's use this to compete."
Saiki looked at the riddle machine in front of him, which displayed the answers.
[Riddles, huh? I don't think I've ever played this before. Mm, looks kind of interesting. Let's give it a try.]
"Yeah, it looks pretty fun. Let's try it out."
Akazawa Itsuki stepped forward, picked up the two styluses attached to the machine, and handed the first one to Saiki.
[You write with this?]
"That's right. For the word riddle game, let's pick the versus mode. Whoever writes the correct answer first wins."
Akazawa Itsuki selected the game type and clicked into the Chinese character difficulty level. [This kind of riddle game doesn't test IQ—it tests how fast your brain can spin. And since I chose the Chinese character version, there's no way Saiki can win this time. Heh heh…]
(Chinese character version? You really just eliminated the only chance you had to beat me.)
The first question appeared:
1+1
Akazawa Itsuki's eyes lit up. [Hey, I actually know this one.]
Saiki and Akazawa Itsuki wrote at the same time: 王
The screen jumped: Correct. Next question.
Shirakawa Chitose: "Oh, both of you are pretty good."
Akazawa Itsuki's eyes widened: "Saiki, how were you so fast?"
(Can you even hear yourself?)
Saiki glanced at Itsuki.
[I just happened to know this one.]
Akazawa Itsuki nodded: "Oh, I see." [Damn it.]
Second question:
From one to thirteen o'clock, the difficulty lies in how to dot it.
Akazawa Itsuki scratched his head: "This one's a bit tough."
Saiki thought for two seconds and wrote: 汁
The screen jumped: Correct. Next question.
Akazawa Itsuki: "No way. Saiki, have you played this before?"
[No, I haven't!]
Akazawa Itsuki believed him. Then the next one came.
Third question:
One thousand and one nights
Saiki swiftly wrote: 歼
Fourth question:
One side is water, the other side is mountain
[汕]
Fifth question:
Need half, leave half behind
[雷]
Sixth question:
One in a thousand, one in a hundred
[伯]
Seventh question…
Akazawa Itsuki's big eyes and small brain stared at the screen where Saiki had already answered every single question. He muttered in disbelief,
"No way… this can't be possible… this…"
Akazawa Itsuki shook Saiki's arm: "Hey! Saiki, you're definitely messing with me. Just admit it—you've played this before. Don't joke around."
Saiki helplessly spread his hands like a little bear.
[Yare yare, why won't you believe me? I really am playing for the first time.]
Shirakawa Chitose rested her hand on her shoulder and mocked her boyfriend: "Hahaha, Itsuki, you're way too weak. Just admit you're outmatched."
Akazawa Itsuki turned to his girlfriend who was dissing him: "Hey, this is actually really hard, okay? And I got the first one right too!"
Shirakawa Chitose wagged her finger: "Exactly because you're too weak…"
Akazawa Itsuki shot back defiantly: "What did you say? If you're so good, you do it."
Shirakawa Chitose put her hands on her hips and puffed out her chest: "Fine, I'll do it. Saiki, let's go."
Akazawa Itsuki muttered under his breath: "With that attitude of yours, you think you can beat Saiki? You're really dreaming big, like a tadpole looking for a frog, thinking you're something…"
(Seriously, you're so good with words, but when it comes to riddles, you're hopeless.)
Shirakawa Chitose smiled sweetly while pinching Akazawa Itsuki's ear: "What are you saying? Even if I can't beat Saiki, I'm still better than you…"
[I don't want to watch you two flirt anymore. Are we still competing or not?]
"Yes yes yes!"
Shirakawa Chitose stepped forward, glanced at the options, selected the animal guessing category, and lowered the difficulty: "Mm, this should be good."
Akazawa Itsuki muttered quietly: "Tch, she even picked animal guessing and lowered the difficulty."
"Mind your own business."
The first question appeared:
Wears a colorful cotton jacket, sings wonderfully, catches pests in the fields, contributes to a bountiful harvest.
Saiki and Shirakawa Chitose wrote at the same time: (frog)
The screen jumped: Correct. Next question.
Second question: They call him an ox, but he can't pull a plow. They say he's weak, yet he carries his house on his back.
Both wrote at the same time: (snail)
The screen jumped: Correct. Next question.
Third question: Eight legs, drum on the table, two pairs of scissors dance on the chest. Born to walk sideways and domineering, always spitting foam from its mouth.
Obviously a crab. Both answered correctly again.
Shirakawa Chitose proudly lifted her head and looked at Akazawa Itsuki: "See that? That's food power."
"Tch~"
Akazawa Itsuki turned his head away as if unconvinced.
"Questions like these, even I could do them…"
The difficulty increased afterward.
Fourth question: Hunchbacked old man, beard fluffy and messy. Takes a bath in a hot pot, trades green robe for big red robe.
Shirakawa Chitose froze while thinking, but Saiki had already written the answer.
[(shrimp)]
The screen jumped: Correct. Next question.
Shirakawa Chitose scratched her head, reacting a step late: "Ah, I was going to write that too. Just a bit slow."
Then the sixth question appeared:
Two bulging eyes, big mouth, tail bigger than its body. Accompanied by green grass and fake mountains, blooming with big red flowers.
Saiki wrote first again.
[(goldfish)]
Seventh question:
Arrives with spring, urges the sowers. Returns after autumn, spreads the sound of bountiful harvest.
[(cuckoo)]
...
Shirakawa Chitose pouted as she watched Saiki finish answering all the questions: "Ah, every time I only think of it after Saiki's already answered. His reaction speed is insane. Saiki, one more round!"
Akazawa Itsuki jeered from the side: "See? I told you. You only got the first few right. Saiki was definitely going easy on you. And you still thought you could win? That's hilarious—like grandma crawling into bed, you've got me cracking up."
[Where exactly did you learn these lines from?]
Shirakawa Chitose gritted her teeth and glared at Akazawa Itsuki.
Akazawa Itsuki realized his girlfriend was mad: "Okay, okay, I'll stop…"
Shirakawa Chitose pointed to the nearby wall: "Stop embarrassing yourself. Go stand over there and recite that line 100 times facing the wall."
Akazawa Itsuki stubbornly lifted his head. Who did she think he was?
He loudly declared, "Fine, I'll do it," then walked to the corner by himself and quietly started: "Grandma crawling into bed, you've got me cracking up… Grandma crawling into bed, you've got me cracking up…"
Saiki: ...
(You actually went and did it?)
Shirakawa Chitose clapped her hands: "Alright, let's begin."
...
When Akazawa Itsuki finished reciting and came back, Saiki had already finished another round and set down the stylus.
[Yare yare, gotta say, this money-grubber really is kind of interesting. Playing once in a while is fine, but doing it all the time? No thanks.]
Akazawa Itsuki glanced at the results. Sure enough, his girlfriend had lost spectacularly once again. "Saiki, let's go try something else."
[We're still competing?]
Akazawa Itsuki dragged Saiki over—no room for refusal—to the basketball shooting game: "This one, this one, this one's super fun!"
Saiki glanced at it, picked up a basketball, and tested the feel.
[So it takes coins. You get to shoot 10 balls each time.]
"Mm mm."
Akazawa Itsuki watched Saiki pick up the ball. [Saiki might not look like it, but I've never seen him play basketball. Still, I can't judge him by normal standards. He's probably good at this too.]
Akazawa Itsuki looked at Saiki pitifully: "Saiki~ just go easy on me a little, okay?"
Saiki got goosebumps.
[Cut the act. What do you want?]
"Throw the game a bit."
[Go easy, huh? Since it's 10 shots, if you make all 9, it counts as full score. I'll only get full score if I make all 10. How's that?]
Akazawa Itsuki held up two fingers, leaving a tiny gap between them: "A little more easy than that."