I was lucky. By the time I slipped into the classroom, the teacher was already there. But the relief was short-lived. I could feel the stares of the other boys burning into my back, looking at me as if I had committed some unforgivable crime.
I was so nervous that I couldn't even hold my pen properly. My hands trembled as I tried to write in my notebook, the words blurring together on the page. I didn't have the knack for this kind of attention. The entire classroom felt like a suffocating box, and I spent the rest of the time barely able to breathe.
The moment the final classes were over, I shoved my things into my bag as fast as humanly possible. I rushed toward the school exit, just wanting to get this over with.
As I expected, Sakura wasn't there yet. I stood alone near the gates, the seconds dragging on. Five long minutes passed before she finally showed up.
When she spotted me waiting, she froze for a split second, clearly stunned.
"Hi... Estival!" she called out.
"Hi..." I mumbled.
She stepped closer, a knowing look crossing her face. "You got here so early. I thought I would be the one waiting for you. Or..." She tilted her head slightly. "...are you really just that eager to see me?"
"It's kind of a long story," I deflected, looking away. "I will tell you some other time why "I'm here this early,". "Anyway, what did you want to talk to me about?"
Sakura ignored my question completely. "Wait," she said, tapping her chin thoughtfully. "Where do you want to go sit first? A cafe or the park?"
"Why do we need to go anywhere to sit?" I let out a heavy sigh. "If you want, we can just talk right here. Or we could go to my place."
"Okay, the park it is then!" she declared cheerfully.
"I didn't agree to that," I pointed out.
Sakura's expression instantly dropped into an exaggerated, wounded pout. "Oh, I see. It just means you don't like spending time with me anymore. You're such a meanie."
"Fine, fine," I stammered, immediately backpedaling. "Let's go wherever you want. And for the record, it's not that I don't like spending time with you. I was just curious about what you wanted to talk about! I do like spending time with you. Actually, no, I love spending—wait, no, not love like that, I just—"
Sakura burst into laughter, the fake sadness vanishing instantly. "I know, I know!" she giggled, stepping closer. "You like spending time with me. I was just teasing you."
Defeated, I let out a resigned breath. We started walking together, and after a short, quiet trip, we finally arrived at the park.
We found a shaded spot beneath a large tree. I excused myself for a moment and grabbed two cold drinks for us. The day was sweltering, but a light breeze drifted through the leaves, offering a gentle, comforting touch.
I handed a drink to Sakura, and she thanked me softly.
"Isn't the weather so nice today?" Sakura asked, staring ahead.
"Yeah, it is," I replied, my patience wearing thin. "But anyway, what did you want to talk to me about? The suspense is killing me. Just tell me."
Sakura's demeanor shifted. "Let's have a serious talk. Are you ready?"
"Yes, ma'am. One hundred percent ready," I answered, putting on a slightly dramatic voice to mask my growing nervousness.
She didn't laugh. "It's been on my mind ever since you took that Yuki girl in."
My heart skipped a beat. "What is it?"
Sakura turned to look at me, her eyes unreadable. "What do you think of her? Do you think she's beautiful?"
"Yes, she is," I answered cautiously. "Then what's the problem? Is that all you wanted to ask?"
Sakura's expression remained perfectly calm, but her voice carried a quiet, terrifying intensity—angry, yet peaceful. "No. I want to know... do you love her?"
"No... no! I'm not. What are you talking about?" I stammered, my heart racing. "You were the one who told me to take her in in the first place!"
Sakura sighed, her intense gaze softening slightly. "So you don't love her or anything. But one more thing... did you do anything weird with her last night?"
"I-I didn't do anything with her!" I defended myself instantly.
Sakura burst into laughter, the heavy tension dissolving in an instant. "I know, I know. I was just teasing you."
I took a deep breath, deciding to set the record straight once and for all. "And there is one more thing. I can't fall in love with her—or anyone else. Because... I've already been in love with someone else for many years."
The air grew dead and still. Sakura's laughter vanished instantly. She froze, utterly stunned, before a dark, angry shadow crossed her face.
"Who is it?" she demanded, a dangerous edge creeping into her voice. "Tell me right now."
"I can't tell you her name," I replied quietly, looking away from her intense stare. "Because she doesn't even know how much I love her. I haven't confessed to her yet."
Sakura fell silent. The anger in her eyes slowly morphed into something far more terrifying—a chilling, desperate sort of hope.
"I see," Sakura whispered, a faint smile touching her lips. "That means... there is still a chance for me."
"What did you say?" I asked, not quite catching the whisper that left her lips.
"Nothing," Sakura deflected quickly, snapping back to her usual self. "Besides, it's none of your business."
"Fine, fine," I muttered in defeat.
After that heavy conversation, we started walking back toward my house. Along the way, I couldn't help but wonder if she had figured out who I was talking about. Still... being with her felt nice. Spending time with Sakura gave me a strange sense of comfort, a feeling of truly being alive. For a brief moment, I just wanted time to stop so I could stay right there, walking beside her.
On our way, I told Sakura that I needed to do some grocery shopping, and she happily agreed to tag along. We went to a nearby supermarket, where I picked up some vegetables, cooking oil, and other daily essentials. After paying the bill, we resumed our walk home, but then I spotted an ice-cream parlor along the way.
I looked over at Sakura. "What flavor do you want to eat?"
"Anything is fine," she replied with a soft smile.
I walked over to the counter to buy two vanilla flavor ice creams."
Sakura looked over at me, a faint glint in her eyes. "You like vanilla?"
"Yeah," I replied quietly.
She took a bite and smiled. "It actually tastes really nice. Thanks for the ice cream."
"Don't mention it," I muttered, brushing it off.
We spent the rest of the walk eating our ice cream in relative silence. Eventually, we arrived back at our place. She turned toward her house, and I headed toward my apartment.
"See you tomorrow," I said.
"See you," she replied with a soft smile.
When I stepped inside my apartment, Yuki was there. I handed over the groceries to her.
She took the bags and heading to the kitchen to start cooking our dinner.
As the cold water washed over me, my mind started racing. I couldn't stop wondering about the moment I told Sakura I was in love with someone, and how drastically her mood had changed. Did she actually understand that I was talking about her? If she knows about it now... then probably she probably hates me now. I shouldn't have told her that. She probably thinks I'm just trying to use our childhood friendship as a cheap excuse to become her boyfriend.
But that's not true. I've loved her ever since that day she saved me from those guys who used to bully me. I still remember the serious look in her eyes that day. She spoke so bluntly to them, completely unfazed. She wasn't scared of those older boys at all. She even punched two of them right in the face. Because she fought them to protect me, she got stuck with a punishment from the principal, but she never once complained to me about it. She took the fall for my sake, without ever holding it over my head.
I was standing under the cold water, completely lost in these memories, when Yuki's voice suddenly called out from the other side of the bathroom door, pulling me back to reality.
"Dinner is ready," Yuki announced. "Come out."
I turned off the shower and let out a long breath. "Yeah, I'm coming!"
I quickly got dressed and stepped out of the bathroom. The moment I walked out, the aroma of the food hit me. And just like always, it smelled incredibly good.
Then she served me the food. We were having chicken curry and rice tonight. The moment I took the first bite, the taste was absolutely delicious.
"Yuki," I said, looking over at her, "you really have a great talent for cooking. This is great."
"Thank you," she replied softly with a small smile.
We finished the rest of our meal in relative silence. When she started cleaning the dishes, I offered to help, but she politely declined. Letting out a tired sigh, I headed to my room to go to bed.
But the moment I lay down, my mind started racing all over again. I couldn't stop the thoughts from pouring in—did Sakura start hating me now? Is she going to stop talking to me entirely after today?
Tangled in a web of these anxious thoughts, I eventually drifted off to a deep sleep.