Chapter 7: Only Eunuchs Would Reject Kurenai YuhiThe sun was blazing, and the sound of cicadas was making people restless.By the riverbank outside Konoha Village, Team 7was carrying out their so-called "Ninja missions."Weeding.Picking up trash.Finding a lost fat cat named "Xiao Hu.""Ah—! I'm going crazy!"Sakura Haruno slammed her weeding trowel onto the ground, her pink hair stuck with a few strands of dried grass, roaring without a shred of dignity."Why are we doing this? We're Ninjas! Not janitors!"Not far away, Sasuke had a dark expression, carrying a giant trash bag in his hand.Though his movements were still efficient, the murderous intent—as if he wanted to crush the trash bag like it was Uchiha Itachi—could be felt from ten meters away.Only one person was an exception.On the lushest willow tree by the riverbank, Narutowas lying comfortably in the fork of the branches.That divine robe with "Honesty" written on it hung down, swaying gently in the wind.Below, over a dozen Shadow Clones were diligently weeding and picking up bottles with incredible efficiency.The original body was holding the "icha icha paradise: Collector's Edition" he had snatched from Kakashi, reading it with great interest."So that's how it is..."Naruto flipped a page and let out an exclamation."While this position puts extreme demands on lower back strength, it truly maximizes the Chakraactivity of both parties. That old pervert Jiraiyaactually has some substance in him."Under the tree, Kakashi leaned against the trunk, holding an ordinary book on military strategy to save face, but his dead-fish eye glanced up at the tree from time to time.It felt like a cat was scratching at his heart.That was the Collector's Edition.A limited release that required queuing for a lottery just to buy.It had uncensored illustrations inside!"Cough, cough."Kakashi closed his strategy book, trying to regain some dignity as a lead Jonin."Naruto, while Shadow Clones are a great way to train, the original body shouldn't be too lax. And..."He pointed at the still-fuming Sakura Haruno and the grim-faced Sasuke."This is teamwork. Everyone is sweating while you're the only one slacking off; it doesn't fit the rules of a Ninja."Rustle.The leaves moved.Naruto closed the book and poked his head out from the branches, looking down at Kakashi."Rules?"Naruto waved the small orange book in his hand."Kakashi-sensei, a man who had even this 'textbook' snatched by his student and hasn't been able to get it back is talking to me about rules?""Do you think you have any credibility?"The skin under Kakashi's mask twitched.He subconsciously reached out to cover his lower back.That phantom pain of being dominated by the One Thousand Years of Death crawled up his tailbone again."And..."Naruto jumped down from the tree, landing lightly.He patted Sasuke's shoulder, looked at the still-sulking Sakura, and finally let his gaze fall on Kakashi with a look of disappointment."The composition of this team itself has a huge problem.""What problem?" Sakura couldn't help but interject."Imbalance of Yin and Yang."Naruto pointed at Sasuke, then at himself."Two grown men. Although Er Zhu Zi looks quite delicate, his face is as cold as a block of ice; it's nauseating to look at."Veins popped on Sasuke's forehead, and the trash bag in his hand exploded with a "bang.""Then there's you."Naruto looked Sakura up and down, his gaze lingering for two seconds on her chest, which was as flat as an airfield, and shook his head."An underdeveloped flat board. Aside from being loud, there's no aesthetic value.""Who are you calling a flat board!!!"Sakura instantly flew into a rage, waving her fists to charge, but was held back by Sasuke."Don't be impulsive," Sasuke gritted his teeth. "You can't beat him."Naruto ignored Sakura's murderous glare and turned to Kakashi, his tone sincere."Sensei, I want to transfer classes.""I want to go to Team 8.""I heard Kurenai-sensei not only has superb Genjutsu but also a body... cough, as a model teacher, she especially knows how to look after her students' mental health.""I want to be under her to conduct an in-depth academic discussion on 'human anatomy and the origin of life.'"Kakashi: "..."Sasuke: "..."Sakura: "..."He's basically written the word "pervert" on his face, hasn't he?Absolutely!"Denied."Kakashi rubbed his throbbing temples."Team assignments are Hokage-sama's decision. And..."He glanced at Naruto's self-righteous expression."Kurenai has been getting very close to Asumalately. If you go there, I'm afraid Asuma won't be able to resist hacking you to death with his Chakra Blades."Naruto clicked his tongue and stuffed icha icha paradise back into his robe."Only eunuchs would reject Kurenai Yuhi.""Fine, since I can't transfer, let's finish these crappy missions quickly. If the old man doesn't give us some decent missions soon, I'll go to the Hokage Rock and paint an even more explosive makeup look for him."...Hokage Office.Smoke filled the air.Hiruzen Sarutobi looked at the mission report for Team 7 in his hand; the tobacco in his pipe was about to burn out.Weeding mission: Completed by Naruto's Shadow Clones; original body was reading inappropriate books.Trash collection mission: Completed by Naruto's Shadow Clones; original body was harassing female passersby (asking if they had boyfriends).Cat-finding mission: Naruto kicked the cat unconscious and brought it back, citing "the cat was too loud.""This kid..."Hiruzen Sarutobi put down the report with a headache.Although the efficiency was ridiculously high, his way of doing things looked like a hoodlum boss no matter how you sliced it.Bam.The door was roughly pushed open."Old man!"Naruto walked in first, having no intention of knocking.Behind him followed a helpless Kakashi, as well as Sasuke and Sakura with varying expressions."Yo, still smoking?"Naruto walked up to the desk, leaning forward with both hands on the surface. The intense pressure forced Hiruzen Sarutobi into a tactical lean back."If you keep smoking, your lungs will turn as black as the bottom of a pot. When you die, it'll be a waste of the Village's land to bury you."[Ding! Sharp Critique successful!][Hiruzen Sarutobi's Blood Pressure Index: 3 Stars.][Reward: Lung Capacity +10%.]Hiruzen Sarutobi coughed violently, forcing himself to ignore those rebellious words."Naruto, the missions were completed well."The old Hokage squeezed out a kind smile."However, as a rookie Genin, you must guard against arrogance and impetuosity. Basic missions are meant to temper your character...""Cut the crap."Naruto interrupted his speech."C-rank mission. Or B-rank. If you make me go weeding again, I'll tell Grandma Biwako where you hide your secret stash of money... oh wait, I'll tell the whole Village."Hiruzen Sarutobi's hand holding the pipe shook.How does this little brat know everything?"Cough, cough! Since you're so motivated..."Hiruzen Sarutobi pulled a scroll from the pile of documents, his eyes flickering.This was a "trial" he had specially prepared.Or rather, surveillance."There happens to be a special C-rank mission here.""Assist in taking care of a distinguished young master for half a day.""Young master?"Naruto raised an eyebrow."Babysitting?"He turned to leave."Not doing it. I'm a Ninja, not a nanny. Unless that master has a pretty older sister or a single mom."Just then.From behind the screen at the side of the office, a rustling sound suddenly came.A piece of camouflage cloth painted with a rock pattern was moving extremely clumsily across the floor."That..."Iruka was just about to give a reminder."Take this!!"A childish roar rang out.The camouflage cloth was thrown aside.A brat wearing goggles and trailing a long snot-bubble rushed out, holding a shuriken, charging straight at Hiruzen Sarutobi."Old man! Let's fight to the death! The title of Fifth Hokage is mine!"Hiruzen Sarutobi didn't even blink, continuing to smoke.Just as the brat was halfway through his charge, he was suddenly tripped by the carpet.Splat.He fell flat on the ground in a spread-eagle position, face-first, sliding for two meters.Total silence.Sakura awkwardly covered her face.Sasuke snorted, his face full of disdain.The brat scrambled up, rubbed his swollen nose, looked around, and finally locked his gaze on the person in the room who looked "most arrogant" and "least to be trifled with."Naruto.That black combat suit, that dazzling blond hair, and that "I'm the boss" aura."It's you!"The brat shifted his target and charged at Narutowith the shuriken."You're the old man's subordinate, right! If I beat you, I can beat the old man!"Naruto looked down.Watching this little shrimp who only reached his thigh charging like an angry little cannonball.He didn't even bother to take his hands out of his pockets.Just as the brat was about to crash into him.Naruto extended an index finger.He lightly pressed it against the brat's forehead."Ya ya ya ya!"The brat's limbs flailed wildly like a turtle flipped on its back, desperately trying to move forward.But that finger was like a pillar holding up the sky.No matter how hard he tried, even as his face turned red from the effort, he couldn't move forward an inch.This was the absolute gap in strength."Too weak."Naruto yawned, his other hand even free to pick his ear."This is the Hokage's grandson?""I think he's a monkey's grandson.""Can't even walk straight and wants to be Hokage? Go back and drink milk for two more years before coming back."Boom!The lethality of these words was much greater than a shuriken.The brat—Konohamaru Sarutobi—instantly froze.He stared blankly at this man who was suppressing him with a single hand (finger).In the past, when those adults saw him charging, they would either pretend to be defeated or fearfully call him "Young Master."No one had ever dared to look at him with such a gaze, as if he were trash.And he even dared to call the Third Hokage a "monkey"?"You..."Konohamaru sniffled, the anger in his eyes gradually turning into stars."You're so strong!""You actually dare to insult the old man!""Big brother! Please take me as your disciple!"The change in attitude was so fast that Ebisunearly dropped his sunglasses in shock.Naruto withdrew his finger and disgustedly wiped it on Konohamaru's clothes."Taking a disciple? I'm very expensive.""I have money!"Konohamaru thumped his chest. "As long as you can teach me the Ninjutsu to defeat the old man!"A playful curve appeared at the corner of Naruto's mouth.Ninjutsu to defeat the Hokage?He knew this one well....Half an hour later.A training ground somewhere in Konoha.Naruto sat cross-legged on a large rock, holding a foxtail grass, giving a lesson to his newly recruited "little brother."Kakashi, Sasuke, and Sakura watched from not far away as "guardians.""Listen up, Konohamaru."Naruto waved the foxtail grass, looking profoundly mysterious."The so-called will of fire isn't some empty nonsense about protecting the Village or self-sacrifice.""That's just stuff the old man uses to trick cannon fodder into going to their deaths."Kakashi, in the distance, almost choked on his own spit.Is this the kind of thing you can just say out loud?"The true will of fire is the weak defeating the strong."Naruto pointed at himself, then at Kakashi."Why can a Genin defeat a Jonin?""Because Jonin are human too, and as long as they're human, they have weaknesses.""No matter how strong his Ninjutsu or how high his Chakra, as long as you find that most fragile, most undefendable spot and give it a hard hit..."Naruto threw away the foxtail grass and formed the seal that gave Kakashi nightmares again.The Tiger Seal."He'll fly into the sky like a firecracker.""This is called—attacking what the enemy must save, a direct strike to the soul."Hiss—Kakashi subconsciously squeezed his legs together, his buttocks aching faintly.That usually lazy face was now filled with horror.This bastard!He's actually teaching such a low-brow move to the Hokage's grandson?If one day Konohamaru does this to the Third Hokage...The image was so beautiful that Kakashi didn't dare to imagine it."Big brother! I understand!"Konohamaru's eyes sparkled as if a new world had opened up for him.Following Naruto's description.Konohamaru's nosebleed erupted like a fountain."Bi... Big brother is truly a god among men!""Alright, theory class is over."Naruto stood up and patted his butt."All talk and no action is useless. Conveniently, the terrain here is complex; let's play a game.""Hide and seek.""Hmph, that's for children," Sasuke snorted."Don't be in a rush, Er Zhu Zi."Naruto pulled a black cloth from his Ninja tool pouch."Ordinary hide and seek is boring.""I'll blindfold myself.""I won't use Chakra perception.""I'll rely purely on hearing, smell, and intuition to catch you."He looked at Konohamaru, then at Sasuke and Sakura."As long as you can avoid being caught by me within ten minutes, I lose.""As for the stakes..."Konohamaru immediately pulled out a stack of shiny cards."These are limited edition Generations of Hokage Ninja Tool Cards! I'll bet these!"Naruto casually pulled out a blank notebook and wrote "How to Become Hokage: Crash Course Edition" in large letters on the cover."I'll bet this secret manual.""And you two."Naruto looked at Sasuke and Sakura."Since we're a team, let's play together. If I win, from now on, if I say go east, you don't go west.""If I lose, I'll admit the Uchiha is the number one clan."Sasuke's eyes narrowed.This bet, he accepted."make a deal."...The game began.Naruto tied on the black cloth, his vision falling into darkness.But the smile on his lips grew wider.Not using Chakra?You've got to be kidding.After being reinforced by the system, the Uzumaki Clan physique made his five senses as sharp as a human-shaped beast."Are you hidden?""I'm going to start hunting."Just as Naruto was about to start.A mechanical prompt suddenly sounded in his mind.[Ding!][High-level female organism detected approaching the training ground at high speed.][System Judgment: This target has extremely high conquest value and family propagation potential.][Current Status: Host is in 'Blindfold' mode.][Suggested special interaction mode: Blind Men Feeling an Elephant.]Naruto paused.High-level?Nearby?Could it be...A "kind" smile curled on Naruto's lips.He stood up straight, facing the direction the scent was coming from.Since the system called it "Blind Men Feeling an Elephant."Wouldn't it be a disservice to this delivered benefit if I didn't feel around a bit?"Since a new prey has arrived..."Naruto opened his arms, like a believer embracing the darkness."Then don't blame me for being impolite."
