Chapter 138 - 4

Chapter 4: What's wrong with dreaming of marrying a hundred wives?The wind on the rooftop was a bit noisy, making the divine robe with the word "Honesty" on it flap loudly.The four of them leaned against the railing, the atmosphere eerie.Kakashi scratched his messy silver hair, his dead-fish eyes scanning the three students before him who completely defied common sense.One was a fangirl, one was a revenge nut, and the other... was a monster that was completely impossible to see through."Since we'll be teammates in the same squad from now on, let's start with some introductions," Kakashi said lazily. "Like what you like, what you hate, your hobbies, and... your dreams.""How about a demonstration from the teacher first?" Naruto leaned against the railing, a pair of nail clippers appearing in his hand at some point. He was focused on trimming his nails, not even looking up.Kakashi sighed. "Me? I'm Kakashi Hatake. Things I like and hate... I don't feel like telling you. Hobbies? Plenty. Dreams... haven't thought of one yet."Sakura's mouth twitched. "In the end, we only learned your name!""Next." Kakashi pointed at Sakura."My name is Sakura Haruno!" Sakura's cheeks instantly flushed red. She cupped her face in her hands, her gaze involuntarily drifting toward Naruto. "Things I like... or rather, the person I like... is..."She let out an unintelligible squeal."The thing I hate is Ino-pig! My dream is... to marry the person I like!"Naruto blew away the clippings from his fingertips and put away the nail clippers."Being love-struck is a disease that needs curing." He glanced at Sakura, his tone as flat as if he were stating a universal truth. "Women will only slow down the speed at which I draw my blade. Of course, if it's for the sake of breeding excellent offspring, that's a different story."Sakura's smile froze on her face.Was she being rejected? Or was she being teased?"Next." Kakashi quickly changed the subject, pointing at Sasuke, who had been looking gloomy.Sasuke crossed his hands under his chin, radiating a cold aura that warned others not to approach."My name is Uchiha Sasuke. There are many things I hate, and nothing I like. My dream..."He paused, and flames seemed to burn in those black eyes."It's not just a dream; I have an ambition. I will restore the Uchiha Clan and I must kill that man."The temperature in the air suddenly dropped.Sakura shrunk her neck in fear. Kakashi's gaze also became solemn."Pfft."A highly inappropriate snicker broke the solemn, edgy vibe.Sasuke snapped his head around, glaring at the blonde man who had laughed."What are you laughing at?"Naruto stretched, his bones making a series of popping sounds like firecrackers."Sorry, I thought of something funny." Narutowaved his hand. "Er Zhu Zi, your dream sounds very touching. However..."[Ding! Pretentious scene detected. Sharp Comment System triggered.][Option A: Encourage him and say 'Go for it, you're the best.' (Reward: Sasuke's Favorability +1)][Option B: Ignore him and continue trimming nails. (Reward: Nail Clipper Durability +100)][Option C: Mock him mercilessly and shatter his chuunibyou fantasies. (Reward: Uchiha Style Shurikenjutsu Experience Pack, Sasuke's Mental Breakdown Index +100)]Naruto stood up straight, his tall shadow instantly enveloping Sasuke."You want to kill Itachi?"He looked down, his azure eyes full of mockery, as if he were looking at a kitten baring its claws."With your current frail appearance, you're probably not even worthy of carrying Itachi's footbath water. Forget about killing him; it's a question whether you can even stand steady in front of him right now."Boom!The string of reason in Sasuke's mind snapped instantly.Humiliation.Pure humiliation!The glory of the Uchiha cannot be trampled upon!"Shut up!"Sasuke roared, launching himself from the railing like a cannonball. A cold gleam flashed in his hand as a Kunai stabbed straight toward Naruto's throat.He didn't hold back at all with this strike.Sakura covered her mouth in horror.Kakashi was about to step in to stop it, but his movements suddenly froze.Because it wasn't necessary.Tink.There was no earth-shattering collision, nor was there any blood spray.Naruto simply extended an index finger and lightly pressed it against Sasuke's forehead.Sasuke maintained his forward-charging posture, the Kunai less than ten centimeters from Naruto's neck. But his entire body seemed to be under a paralysis spell; no matter how hard he tried, that finger remained motionless, like an insurmountable mountain."Is this your full strength?"Naruto hadn't even taken his other hand out of his pocket."Too slow, too weak, too soft."Three words, like three heavy hammers, slammed into Sasuke's chest.Sasuke's teeth were gritted, veins bulging on his forehead as he desperately tried to break through the finger's block, but the difference in power was like that between an infant and a giant.This was a crushing defeat through pure physical strength.Naruto flicked his finger lightly.Bam!Sasuke felt as if his forehead had been hit head-on by a battering ram. He flew backward and slammed into the wire fence with a loud "Clang."He clutched his forehead, where a large bump was visibly swelling, the pain so intense that tears welled up in his eyes."Damn it..." Sasuke struggled to stand up, but found his legs a bit weak.[Ding! Sharp comment successful!][Sasuke's Mental Breakdown Index: Four Stars.][Reward received: Uchiha Style Shurikenjutsu(Proficient).]Naruto clapped his hands as if he had just flicked away a fly."Alright, my turn."He leaned back against the railing, arms crossed, his gaze scanning everyone present before finally resting on the bustling scenery of Konoha Village."My name is Uzumaki Naruto. Things I like are my deceased parents and my own handsome face.""Things I hate..."He glanced at Kakashi."Show-offs who only have one eye showing and still show up late."Kakashi's eye twitched."As for my dream..."Naruto spread his arms, his golden hair shining brilliantly in the sunlight, a wildly arrogant smile appearing on his face."To break this rotten Ninja system and trample all those trash rules that only send children to the battlefield. And while I'm at it..."He paused, his tone becoming matter-of-fact."Establish a great clan of my own, marry many, many beautiful wives, and have many, many children, so that the red hair of the Uzumaki Clanonce again spreads across the entire Ninja World. After all, it would be a loss for all of humanity if excellent genes like mine weren't passed down."Silence.A deathly silence.A flock of crows flew by, making "Idiot, idiot" sounds.Sakura's mouth hung open, feeling like her worldview had shattered into pieces. Marry... many wives?Sasuke clutched his forehead, looking like he was staring at a lunatic.Kakashi was even breaking out in a sweat, nearly dropping the copy of icha icha paradise in his hand. This kid's thinking... was it a bit too far ahead of its time?Minato-sensei, Lady Kushina, what kind of monster did you two give birth to?!"Ahem..." Kakashi coughed awkwardly twice, forcing the conversation back on track. "That's... a very unique dream. Anyway, tomorrow morning at five, gather at Training Ground 3."His expression suddenly became serious, carrying a sinister vibe."We will conduct a Survival Exercise. If you fail, you'll be sent back to the Ninja Academy to repeat. The failure rate is as high as 66%."Sakura and Sasuke's expressions changed."One more thing." Kakashi held up a finger. "Don't eat breakfast. You'll throw up."Having said that, he was about to make a cool exit with the Body Flicker Technique."Wait."Naruto suddenly pulled a crumpled slip of paper from his ninja tool pouch."A 50% off coupon for the Ichiraku Ramen Deluxe Set, expires tomorrow."He waved it in front of Kakashi."Only a fool would go to the battlefield on an empty stomach. Since it's a Survival Exercise, it's even more important to maintain plenty of stamina. Tomorrow, I'm going to eat my fill before heading to the meeting. Do as you please."Kakashi's figure froze.This kid... completely ignored his intimidation?"Suit yourself." Kakashi gave Naruto a deep look. "Don't blame me when you throw up."Poof.A cloud of white smoke dissipated, and Kakashivanished."What an insincere adult." Naruto put away the coupon and turned to leave, tossing a bottle of ointment toward Sasuke as he passed by."Apply this, Er Zhu Zi. If you show up tomorrow with a big bump, it'll really hurt the city's image."Sasuke looked at the ointment rolling by his feet, his fists clenching until they cracked, but in the end, he still picked it up....Late at night, Naruto's apartment.Although he spoke lightly, Naruto didn't actually just go to sleep.He sat cross-legged on his bed, leafing through the various bits of knowledge rewarded by the system in his mind."Flying Thunder God Principles (Incomplete Version)..."Although his physical fitness had reached Kage-level, Ninjutsu was still a weak point. His Chakravolume was huge, but his control still needed fine-tuning."System, why does this Flying Thunder God only have principles and no formula?"[Ding! This is to stimulate the host's creativity. As the future Father of the Ninja World, how can you only copy the work of your predecessors? Please comprehend it yourself.]"..."Naruto rolled his eyes.That night, many people in Konoha Villagesuffered from insomnia.Sasuke was practicing shuriken like crazy, Sakurawas agonizing over what underwear to wear tomorrow, and Kakashi was spacing out in front of the Memorial Stone.Only Naruto slept like a log....Early the next morning.Training Ground 3.Morning mist lingered, and the air was damp and cold.Sasuke and Sakura arrived early; both had dark circles under their eyes, and their stomachs were making continuous "gurgling" sounds."So hungry..." Sakura clutched her stomach, leaning against a wooden post. "Why hasn't Naruto arrived yet? Kakashi-sensei hasn't come either."Sasuke wiped his Kunai with a cold face, not saying a word, but his gloomy expression showed he was in a terrible mood.Time passed minute by minute.The sun rose higher and higher, the mist dissipated, and the temperature climbed.Not until the sun was high in the sky.Two figures finally appeared in the distance.No, one figure and one source of fragrance.Naruto walked slowly in front, a toothpick in his mouth, carrying two large takeout boxes. That rich aroma of bone broth drifted over with the wind; to the two who had been starving all morning, it was practically a biochemical weapon."Yo, morning."Naruto walked up to the two and greeted them without a hint of guilt."Naruto! You're late!" Sakura pointed at him and shouted. "And Kakashi-sensei still isn't here!""What's the rush?"Naruto set the takeout boxes on the ground and sat down cross-legged."Anyway, that show-off will definitely be late too. Here, eat while it's hot."He opened the lid.Steaming hot Chashu Ramen, covered with thick slices of meat and two soft-boiled eggs.Gulp.Sakura and Sasuke swallowed their saliva at the same time."Is... is this for us?" Sakura couldn't quite believe it."In your dreams." Naruto picked up his chopsticks, stuffed a large piece of chashu into his mouth, and looked blissful. "This is my brunch. Didn't you say you were afraid of throwing up? Just watch me eat.""..."Sakura wanted to kill someone.Sasuke turned his head away, forcing himself not to look at the tempting ramen, but the slurping sound was like demonic music piercing his brain.Just as Naruto finished the last sip of soup and let out a satisfied burp.A gust of wind blew.Kakashi appeared out of thin air on a wooden post."Yo, morning everyone." Kakashi waved with a smile. "Today, on the road of life...""You got lost, right?" Naruto tossed the empty bowl aside. "Kakashi-sensei, can't you come up with a new excuse? Like being extorted while helping an old lady cross the street?"Kakashi's mouth twitched.He looked at the empty bowl on the ground, then at the grease-mouthed Naruto, and then at the nearby Sasuke and Sakura, whose faces were pale from hunger.This kid... actually ate? And he ate alone right in front of his teammates?This personality was truly bad enough to cause a headache."Alright." Kakashi pulled two silver bells from his waist and shook them, making a crisp ringing sound."The content of the exercise is simple. Before noon, take these two bells from me.""Those who can't get one won't get lunch and will be tied to a post to watch me eat my bento."Sakura and Sasuke's faces turned pale.Is he even human?"But teacher, there are only two bells, and there are three of us..." Sakura spotted the catch."Exactly." Kakashi's eyes curved. "So, one person is destined to fail and be sent back to the academy."Cruel rules.Dividing the team, creating competition.Sasuke and Sakura instantly pulled apart, looking at each other warily.Only Naruto remained sitting cross-legged on the ground, picking his teeth with a toothpick, completely devoid of tension."Begin!"Kakashi gave the order.Swish! Swish!Sasuke and Sakura vanished instantly, hiding in the surrounding bushes.Only Naruto still sat where he was, unmoving.Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "Naruto, aren't you going to hide?""Hide?"Naruto stood up and patted the dust off his butt.He looked at Kakashi, his gaze not on the bells, but lower, staring intently at the ninja tool pouchbehind Kakashi's waist.There, the corner of an orange book was visible."I have no interest in those bells used to coax children."Naruto licked his lips, revealing a smile like a hunter seeing its prey."I'm more interested in that copy of icha icha paradise of yours.""Kakashi-sensei, why don't we make a bet?"Naruto pointed his finger at Kakashi's nose."If I get that book, you'll read the exciting parts out loud in public. How about it?"The smile on Kakashi's face vanished instantly.A chill ran down his spine straight to the top of his head.This kid... is he a devil?!"}],