Is she crying?
Suddenly I found myself being overdramatic.
There are tears coming down from Dr. Nao's eyes — and strange as it is to say, that shock brought
me back to reality.
Now I can see what the feeling had blinded me to before.
Dr. Nao has spilled blood on herself. There is an elderly patient in the ICU who needs a blood
transfusion in a few hours. Dr. Nao, the patient, the ICU, the blood pack in her hand and me on the
floor — it really does write itself as a disaster.
I wish she would be a vampire — then at least all of this would make sense.
This is so embarrassing.
I should play dead. Yeah. That's right. I am not even here. I am dead.
I bury my face in my hands as I lay there and think about every decision in my life that has led to
this moment.
I can't play dead. This is not anime. This is real life.
And that's why it sucks so much to be me.
And then she goes on to break me further as usual —
"You are more embarrassing than me, you know that. Even my tears feel wasted now."
— — —
He just stared into the ground like something had broken.
And what broke was —
I can't believe all the things I thought. The feeling. God. The vampire. And I believed all of it.
What broke was his delusion that he is the main character of some anime.
I looked up as Dr. Nao wiped her tears and the blood stains that had spilled on her.
"Please forget this ever happened," I said.
And I stood to go back and hide in the shadows.
And yet reality struck again as she asked —
"Are you not even going to ask why I was crying?"
This split me in two at that very moment.
Because how could I forget such a simple thing. Maybe because I never thought she was ever
capable of crying. I mean — she only makes others cry. And my embarrassment didn't help either.
I turned around.
"I am sorry. It all just shocked me, that's all. Why were you crying, Doctor?"
She looked at me for a long moment. Then wiped the last of the blood from her coat.
"You really are as bright as a cow, you know that."
And that time I died twice.
He always thought he was the smartest person in the room. The one who could read every situation
before it read him.
— — —
"I spilled blood all over myself — which is such a basic mistake. How could I do that. I am a senior
doctor overseeing an intern like you. And then that same intern comes diving through the doors and
decides to play dead. What did you think I would do — dance? Play dead with you? I was already
embarrassed and you came to make it worse."
But.
She let out a small laugh. A smile — just a little one.
"I forgot how dumb of a cow you were. There was no need for me to shed a tear."
She looked toward me with a smile that said — thank you for being so hopeless.
And then I proved her point right on time. Because now I was confused. Is she complimenting me
or just calling me dumb in a very respectful and professional way.
I crossed my arms and looked visibly hopeless.
"Why do I feel like you are making fun of me again?"
She looked at me for a moment. Then —
"Go take a break. Or go home. You took on the heavy task of comparing your theory to reality —
that I was some kind of monster. It's rare your brain didn't explode by now. Go home and rest.
Tomorrow I am not going to cut you any slack. I don't want any casualties just because you are
feeling like a sleepy beauty."
She called me beauty.
That's a compliment for sure.
Everything else I choose not to hear — freedom of hearing. I hope something like that exists.
Well. Anyway.
I got off easy today.
— — —
I took my stuff and changed into regular clothes. On my way back to the elevator to return to the
ground floor I noticed there was a light switch on the wall the whole time.
Sorry — the guy who planned this floor. I take my words back. You really did think of me. But
could you make it a little easier to find next time.
I reached the ground floor, packed my things into my bag and then left through the comfortable exit
of the hospital.
Uncomfortably.
Because the memories of today left with me — playing over and over in my head as I walked.
I kept walking. I didn't even realize where I was going. The delusion scene I had just lived through
was still running on repeat somewhere in the back of my mind and my feet had made their own
decision about direction.
And then I found myself standing outside a night cafe.
It would be strange to say — but that delusion feeling came back. Not the embarrassing kind.
Something quieter. Something that turned me toward the cafe without asking permission.
And somehow all I could make of this feeling — this feeling that made no sense at all —
Was that it was red.
This feeling is red.
As if the red from the blood — to the red in the air — to the red in the cafe — was pulling me
subconsciously toward something I hadn't chosen yet.
— — —
The cafe looked empty but comforting. It had a weird feeling to it — like it was glowing. Like it
was the light at the end of a long dark road.
And not gonna lie — not just a while ago I was on a long dark road.
Maybe it's my delusion again. Or maybe God's prank is not over yet.
I opened the door of the cafe.
Ting ting.
The bell attached to the door almost scared me again. Well — let's forget that part.
The cafe was empty. Only a barista and a waiter to help him. Well, it's almost morning again in a
few hours — I'm not surprised. The cafe itself looked very comforting. It had a bar section with
circular tables and elevated chairs around them. Brown walls, brown roof, a counter with warm
lights placed perfectly to invite comfort. The temperature felt just right — just cold enough to keep
me awake and just warm enough to make me sleep.
3:00 AM.
I ordered a vanilla latte to clear my head with some taste.
Well — come to think of it, how did Dr. Nao know my theory was that she is a blood thirsty
vampire. Can it be...
...does it show on my face what I think.
He looked genuinely concerned.
Well. Naaah. She must be a vampire.
I took a sip of the latte and found myself appreciating every bit of it.
Aah.
Well — vampires are not real.
I let out a small sigh.
I guess it's better this way. I don't want my blood sucked to death.
But maybe... maybe one would complete the night.
I laughed a little and dozed off with a small smile on my face — my head on my arms on the table,
beside the latte.
I came back to consciousness and looked at my watch.
Crap.
It's almost 3:30 AM. I should go back home to rest. I am already dozing off.
— — —
I got up and walked toward the door.
And this feeling — what is it — came back. Surfing through my heart to my body as if —
I reached my hand out to open the door.
But the door knob rotated.
And the door opened.
I looked straight into eyes that carried the reflection of the envious moonlight. Like they were made
for hypnotism.
The hair — flowing like the air flows, as if the air itself was there to complement them.
And the lips.
The lips like they had...
Red.
As if the red from the blood — to the red in the air — to the unseen red of her lips — to the red of a
string going from the red of my heart to the red of her —
As if red is her.
— — —
And both of them paused there.
Both on the other side of the world — with a gateway in between.
Their eyes met.
And they finally understood.
The red.