"If I wanted to become an official Plumber right now, would I just have to wave my hand?"
Cian muttered to himself, a subtle, confident smile playing on his lips as he felt the rush of newfound knowledge—tactics, piloting, and combat forms—settle into his muscle memory.
"Hey! Alien-bro!!"
A weak voice called out from the deck. One of the poachers, bruised and battered, was looking up at Cian with pleading eyes.
"What? Haven't had enough yet?" Cian turned his multi-eyed gaze toward the man. "Or are you hoping I'll let you go before the cops show up?"
"No..." the poacher wheezed. "The ship... the engines are still engaged. We're heading straight for the shore! If someone doesn't take the wheel, we're going to plow right into the tourist docks!"
"Shut up. I've got it."
Cian reached for the dial on his chest and twisted. Voom! In a flash of red light, the hulking ocular horror vanished, replaced by a small, black-and-white figure with a wide, "V-shaped" mouth that looked like a permanent, deathly grin.
Glitch Ditto.
Pop! Pop! Pop!
Cian instantly split into several duplicates. With his new Plumber knowledge, the "Dittos" moved with military precision. One handled the navigation, two managed the engine room, and another monitored the radar. They handled the massive industrial vessel as if they had been born to sail it.
The ship glided into the docks with expert grace. By the time the police arrived to haul the poachers away, the "monsters" were long gone, leaving the authorities baffled but relieved.
Back at Captain Shaw's boat, Cian and Ben shared a high-five.
"That was awesome! We were like a perfect team," Ben grinned, though he quickly sighed. "But I wish I'd actually beaten a 'Big Bad' like the Kraken on my own."
Cian nodded thoughtfully. "A powerful enemy, huh..."
"Cian," Max said, walking up with a curious look. "When did you learn to pilot a ship like that? You handled it better than a veteran captain."
"The watch gives me... 'insight,'" Cian replied cryptically, tapping the Glitch Watch.
"Man, my watch is just a broken piece of junk," Ben grumbled. "It doesn't teach me anything!"
"Maybe some people just don't know how to read the manual," Gwen chimed in, and the two cousins immediately devolved into their usual bickering.
Captain Shaw eventually woke up, but by then, the lake was peaceful. They finished their fishing trip as planned, though Shaw spent the rest of the evening wondering how exactly he'd managed to faint so hard he missed a maritime battle.
That night, under a canopy of silver stars, Cian slipped out of the Rustbucket. He stood by the water's edge, taking in a breath of cold lake air.
I'm leaving tomorrow. If I wait for villains to find me, my progress will crawl. I need to be proactive.
"Kraken, where are you?"
Cian was about to transform when a blur of green light zipped past him.
"XLR8? Ben, what are you doing out here?"
Ben skidded to a halt, his visor sliding up. "Cian! I couldn't sleep. I got wrecked by that monster today, and I'm not leaving until I get a rematch!"
"You think a speedster is the right call for an underwater fight?"
"Hey, trust me! I'm not just 'Standard Ben' anymore!" Ben smirked.
Eight minutes later.
"TIAN!! HELP!!"
Ben was sprinting across the surface of the water at top speed, the massive Kraken lunging behind him, its jaws snapping inches from his heels. "My time is almost up! Save me!!"
"Dammit, Ben. To handle a beast, you need a bigger beast!"
Cian leaped into the lake. As he hit the water, a pillar of red light erupted. A muscular, four-armed titan surged out of the depths. This Glitch Four Arms was a slab of raw, red muscle with dual-pupiled eyes that radiated pure aggression.
"I'm here!"
Ben scrambled onto Cian's back as the Kraken breached the surface. "I thought I could outrun her, but I couldn't land a single hit! She's too fast in the water!"
"Leave it to me. I've been wanting to test something."
Cian planted his feet—all four of them—firmly in the shallow silt. He spread his massive arms, inviting the Kraken's charge.
BOOM!
The Kraken slammed into Cian with the force of a tidal wave. Cian's body shuddered, but he didn't give an inch. His raw strength was now bolstered by a Plumber's understanding of center-of-gravity.
"Power is boring," Cian grinned. "Let's try technique."
The memories of Plumber Close Quarters Combat flooded his mind. He didn't just punch; he grappled. He seized the Kraken's long neck and underbelly, pivoting his hips like a world-class Olympic wrestler.
HUUP!
With a violent heave, Cian launched the twenty-meter sea monster into the air!
The Kraken looked down in confusion. We were having a strength contest. Why am I flying?
"You ever see a pro-wrestling match, fish-face?!"
Cian lunged into the air, catching the monster again. He spent the next few minutes treating the Kraken like a toy, using suplexes, throws, and spins that defied the laws of biology. He wasn't hurting her—not really—but he was humiliating her.
The Kraken was tossed into the air for the eighteenth time. When she finally splashed back into the water, she didn't attack. She turned pale, drifted to the side, and began to violently vomit into the lake. She had been shaken so hard she developed severe motion sickness.
"Whoa... Cian," Ben said, back in his human form. "You literally made a sea monster throw up. That's... kind of impressive and really gross."
[Ding! Host has defeated the Kraken and successfully induced motion sickness. Progress +1!]
[Template Progress: 9/100. Unlocking: Glitch Upchuck!]
Cian looked at the notification and sighed. I humiliate a legendary cryptid and the system calls it 'inducing motion sickness'? Great.
He walked over and awkwardly patted the Kraken on the back to help her feel better before he and Ben headed back to the RV. The conflict between alien and monster was over.
Later that night, Captain Shaw was woken up by a noise outside. He grabbed his flashlight, fuming. "I've had it! Fainting all day, and now people won't let me sleep! Who's out there?!"
He swung the light around, and the beam landed on a tall, four-armed figure with eight pupils and a mouth full of fangs.
"Hello, Captain Shaw," Cian rasped, giving him a wide, toothy grin.
"GAHH! GHOST!!"
Thud. Shaw fainted for the third time that day.