Living for someone else has never been easy. Death is easy. It grins at me every waking hour of the day. It waves at me every day in the pack house. It graces me with its cold embrace every time I get buried by Leo and his friends, or I get forgotten in the attic and starved for days.
I have considered dying more times than I care to admit. Squeezing the air out of my lungs with a rope tied around my neck, consuming enough wolfsbane but that couldn't kill me since I'm human.
I've tried going into my coffin with a penknife so that when Leo and his clique return to check if I have exceeded my last limit, they would find me dead.
Living, however, is the hard part. Choosing not to end it all at the very last minute. Going through every day, not because I see a future for myself after this, but because of the image of the perfect family I once have.
Because of the image of my sister, Emily. Because I think she would never be pleased if I left our parents alone to meet her.
Living every day, fighting my inner dark thoughts—that is harder than dying.
Now, I am standing face to face with the only genesis of my mystery. The girl who makes me hate myself harder each day I wake up.
The girl I live for and the girl I wish to die on behalf of.
A bout of nausea rolls through me. I'm so in shock to do more than blink.
This is creepy. I have never been this scared in my whole life. Am I hallucinating? Or is this a new diversion of my curse?
I take a quick breath of utter astonishment and pinch myself. I feel the pain, but no one disappears. This means that Emily is real and that I am not dreaming.
"Emily? Is that... really you?" I try to force the words past the dry ache in my throat, but my voice dies. Tears blur the world into a smear of colors. I reach out, wrapping my arms around her as if she might evaporate.
The tightness across my shoulders increases, and soon she untangles herself from me and shoves me to the floor.
I'm totally bewildered at her behaviour. Welcoming the confusion, I take the moment to catch my breath.
Emily's cheeks are puckered as if she has tasted a sour lemon. "Don't put your filthy body on me, Omega! Yes, I'm alive"
A cry of relief break through my lips but I force the corners of my mouth upward in a jagged, trembling smile.
She should hate me. Better than being dead.
I have missed my sister so much, and even if this is a dream, I wish not to wake up. My life and our family could be perfect again.
She crouches down to where I sit , her fist tightening in my hair, and yanks my head back. "Don't make me out to be the bad guy here, sis. You did kill me if you think about it. How would you even tell everyone that Emily never died huh? Do you grasp the situation now"
She then stands and walks back to my Leo
My gaze flicks to Leo. He stays anchored to her side as she curls a manicured hand around his chest, her smile turning sharp and mischievous.
If Emily has never been dead, it means that my execution is not happening again. There would be no point dying for a crime I never commited.
"Pretend to care for you this past three years has been the toughest job in my entire life. It's so easy to hate but I had to make sure you don't think about escaping or killing yourself until you pay for your crime" I need my assurance to know that he would stand with me and not against me.
Before I can make a sound, his lips crash onto mine. The move catches me completely off guard. My eyes widen.
This is merely bond lust.
I push him away slightly, and he seems to finally come to his senses.
He recoils, his face contorting with sudden, violent disgust.
"Fuck! Fuck this useless mate bond! Fuck the Moon Goddess for mocking me this much! I honestly can't put up with her anymore" He begins to wipe his mouth repeatedly, looking as though he would rather crawl out of his own skin than touch me again.
I stand there, numb, telling myself he is just overwhelmed. I look filthy, after all.
I cup my hands over my nose and mouth, exhaling a quick puff of air to see if my breath stinks but I swear it's doesn't.
"I feel disgusted by you which is why I had to accept her after she told me every brutal thing you did to her. You act like you are just a poor little thing but you are a mischievous evil bastard. And please don't be under that illusion that I loved you. I had to keep you here until today" Leo says.
I've been a pathetic loser to have been fooled by him. I honestly don't blame myself anyways. I lacked affection and I couldn't help but savour the little he offered just to deceive me..
My brain feels like a jumbled mess.
How long has he known that Emily never died??
How much… how many more people know Emily has been alive?
Do my parents perhaps know this and still choose to abandon me as a cursed child?
My heart is thundering. Eyes stinging. Lips quivering. Heat crawls up my neck to my cheeks, and I hold a hand to my chest, feeling like it is being clawed into pieces.
I search Emily's face to be sure I have not meet with the wrong person but that tiny mole below her nose were still there.
She kicks her foot toward my face. "Go away, dog. We aren't done here yet. Did no one teach you that you shouldn't watch adults doing adult things?"
I'm a year older than you selfish little bitch...
There's a moment of doubt in my heart. I stare wordlessly at Emily, and Emily simply scoffed in response, "What? You're going to scold me now? Geez, sis, don't act like a crazy bitch, will you? You are now under my mercy "
I choked up my own tears. I steel my heart and open my mouth to say "You're going to regret this, you ungrateful bitch!"
But as usual my voice is choked in
I turned around and strutted confidently to the front door. I can feel the eyes of those fuckers staring at my back, probably waiting for me to fall and break down in tears.
But I pull all of her courage and keep on walking. To my own death