CHAPTER 56 — I'M SORRY
Jay's POV
The house was unusually quiet when I woke up.
I opened my eyes slowly and stared at the ceiling.
For a few seconds, I didn't remember what day it was.
Then everything came back.
The exams.
The celebration.
The chaos of the past few days.
Everything.
I reached for my phone.
There were several notifications, but one message immediately caught my attention.
Kiefer: Are you doing anything tonight?
I smiled.
Jay: No. Why?
His reply came after a few seconds.
Kiefer: I'll pick you up.
I frowned.
Jay: Where are we going?
Three dots appeared.
Disappeared.
Appeared again.
Then—
Kiefer: It's a surprise.
I smiled at my screen.
Jay: You're suspicious.
Kiefer: Just trust me.
I put my phone down.
I didn't know why, but something about those words stayed in my head.
---
Earlier That Day
My dad and Reycee had returned from their business trip.
And I had gone to see them.
The moment Reycee saw me, she smiled.
"Jay."
She hugged me before I could even say anything.
I laughed softly.
"I missed you too."
Dad came over and pulled me into a hug.
For a while, I forgot about everything else.
Reycee told me stories from the trip.
Dad complained about the hotel.
I laughed at both of them.
It was strange.
A few months ago, I never would have imagined sitting there with Reycee and feeling comfortable.
But things had changed.
Slowly.
She was trying.
And I was finally allowing her to.
Before I left, Reycee fixed the sleeve of my dress.
"You always rush everything."
I smiled.
"That's because I don't have time."
She smiled back.
"You should make time sometimes."
I looked at her.
Maybe she was right.
Maybe everyone deserved a little time to breathe.
I hugged her.
"I'll see you soon."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
I left with a smile.
Not knowing how quickly that smile would disappear.
---
Kiefer's POV
"Is everything ready?"
Percy looked around the restaurant.
"Yes."
Aries nodded.
"Everything."
Yuri adjusted one of the decorations.
"It's perfect."
I looked at the side section.
It was beautiful.
Warm lights.
Small decorations.
A quiet table.
Everything was private.
Everything was exactly how I wanted it.
Nothing too much.
Nothing that would make Jay uncomfortable.
Just something that belonged to us.
I touched the ring box in my pocket.
My hands were cold.
Percy noticed.
"You're nervous."
"I'm fine."
Aries laughed.
"You've checked the ring seven times."
I looked at him.
"Because I want everything to be perfect."
Yuri smiled.
"It will be."
I looked toward the entrance.
"She'll like it?"
"She'll love it," Percy said.
Aries nodded.
"She loves you."
I smiled.
That was all I needed.
Yuri, Percy, and Aries exchanged a look.
They believed it too.
Jay loved Kiefer.
So much.
There was no reason for them to think tonight would end any differently.
---
Jay's POV
The restaurant was quiet when I entered.
I looked around.
"Kiefer?"
Nothing.
I took another step.
"Kiefer?"
Still nothing.
I frowned.
"Okay, this is officially creepy."
Then—
Click.
The lights came on.
I stopped breathing.
The entire side section of the restaurant was glowing.
Tiny lights were hanging around the area.
The table was beautifully arranged.
And then I saw them.
Percy.
Aries.
Yuri.
They were standing behind the decorations, smiling.
My eyes moved past them.
And then I saw Kiefer.
He was standing in the middle of the room.
Looking at me.
My heart dropped.
No.
I knew.
I knew immediately.
And suddenly, I didn't want to take another step.
Kiefer smiled.
"Come here."
I couldn't move.
Yuri's smile slowly disappeared when she saw my face.
She knew.
Maybe not what I was thinking.
But she knew something was wrong.
I finally walked toward him.
Slowly.
He reached for my hand.
I gave it to him.
His fingers closed around mine.
They were warm.
Mine were freezing.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" he asked softly.
I tried to smile.
"I don't know."
He smiled.
"You look beautiful."
I looked down.
"Thank you."
There was something in his voice.
Something so happy.
So certain.
And it hurt.
Because I knew.
I knew what was coming.
And for one selfish second...
I wanted to run.
Not because I didn't want him.
Because I wanted him too much.
---
Kiefer took a breath.
"Jay..."
I looked at him.
He held my hand tighter.
"I've been thinking about this for a long time."
My eyes immediately filled with tears.
He noticed.
"Hey."
I shook my head quickly.
"I'm fine."
I wasn't.
He smiled softly.
Then he slowly went down on one knee.
My heart shattered.
The room disappeared.
I couldn't hear Percy.
I couldn't hear Aries.
I couldn't hear Yuri.
I could only hear my own heartbeat.
Kiefer opened the box.
The ring caught the light.
I covered my mouth.
A small sob escaped before I could stop it.
Kiefer looked up at me.
"Jay..."
I couldn't look at him.
Because if I looked into his eyes...
I knew I wouldn't be able to say it.
He smiled nervously.
"I don't have a perfect speech."
I laughed through my tears.
"Good."
He smiled.
"But I know one thing."
He held the ring.
"I want you."
Another tear fell.
"And I want to keep choosing you."
I closed my eyes.
Please.
Please don't make me answer.
He looked at me.
"Jay, will you marry me?"
Silence.
I opened my eyes.
He was still smiling.
Waiting.
Believing.
Loving me.
And that was what broke me.
I wanted to say yes.
Every part of me wanted to.
I imagined it.
Taking his hand.
Putting the ring on.
Hearing everyone cheer.
Hugging him.
Laughing through my tears.
Having the future I had secretly imagined more times than I could count.
But I couldn't.
My lips trembled.
I shook my head.
"No."
The smile on Kiefer's face disappeared.
Yuri looked down.
Percy stopped breathing.
Aries stared at me.
I couldn't look at any of them.
Especially not Kiefer.
His voice was quiet.
"Jay..."
I squeezed my eyes shut.
"I'm sorry."
He stood slowly.
"Why?"
I couldn't answer.
Not because I didn't have an answer.
Because I couldn't give it to him.
"I'm sorry."
"Jay..."
"I'm sorry."
My voice broke.
"I'm so sorry."
He looked at me.
His eyes were different now.
Confused.
Hurt.
I wanted to touch his face.
I wanted to hold him.
I wanted to take the words back.
Instead, I stepped backward.
He took one step toward me.
"Please."
I shook my head.
"I can't."
That was all I could say.
He stared at me.
I could see a thousand questions in his eyes.
I couldn't answer even one.
"I'm sorry."
My tears wouldn't stop.
He looked down at the ring.
Then back at me.
And somehow, that look hurt more than anything.
I turned around.
"Jay."
I stopped.
My hand covered my mouth.
I didn't turn back.
"Please..."
His voice was so quiet.
I almost broke.
Almost.
I whispered,
"I'm sorry."
Then I walked away.
---
Yuri's POV
The door closed.
Nobody spoke.
Percy stared at the floor.
Aries slowly exhaled.
I couldn't move.
Jay had said no.
She had actually said no.
And the worst part?
She had looked like she was breaking while saying it.
Kiefer stood there silently.
Still holding the ring.
Percy finally whispered,
"I thought..."
He stopped.
Aries looked at him.
"So did I."
I closed my eyes.
We all thought she'd say yes.
Because we knew how much she loved him.
But maybe that was exactly why she couldn't.
I looked toward the door Jay had disappeared through.
I wanted to follow her.
But I knew she needed a moment.
And Kiefer...
He needed one too.
---
Jay's POV
I made it outside.
Barely.
The moment the door closed behind me, I stopped.
My breathing shook.
I pressed my hand against my chest.
Why did it hurt this much?
I knew my answer.
I had known it before I even walked into that restaurant.
But seeing his face...
That had been different.
I wiped my tears.
It didn't help.
More came.
I laughed once through the tears.
"Idiot."
I didn't know whether I was talking about him...
or myself.
I looked back at the restaurant.
The lights were still glowing through the glass.
The place he had prepared for us.
The place where I had just broken his heart.
My heart hurt.
I wanted to go back.
I wanted to tell him yes.
I wanted to tell him I loved him.
I wanted to tell him that I had imagined this moment too.
But I couldn't.
Not now.
So I whispered the words he would never hear.
"I wanted to say yes."
My voice cracked.
"I wanted to so badly."
I wiped my face.
"But I'm sorry."
I looked up at the night sky.
Maybe one day.
Maybe when everything was finally over.
Maybe when I could finally breathe without carrying the weight of everything behind me.
Maybe then...
I'd get another chance.
But I knew I couldn't ask Kiefer to wait.
I couldn't ask him to promise me forever when I couldn't even promise him tomorrow.
And that was the part that scared me.
Because I knew what I wanted.
I knew who I wanted.
I just didn't know if he'd still want me when I was finally ready.
I closed my eyes.
And whispered one last time—
"I'm sorry, Kiefer."
Then I walked away.
Leaving behind the one person I never wanted to hurt.
And the one future I secretly wished I could have.
---
Author's Note 🖤
Okay...
This one hurt.
Kiefer didn't expect a rejection.
Yuri, Percy, and Aries didn't expect it either.
And Jay?
She knew her answer before she even entered the restaurant.
She just didn't know how much it would hurt to actually say it.
She didn't explain.
She couldn't.
She simply said no...
and apologized until she couldn't say anything else.
Because sometimes the hardest goodbye isn't between two people who stopped loving each other.
It's between two people who still do.
🖤