If you ever wondered how quickly a man can get bored, the answer is approximately seven seconds.
That's how long it took me to walk from the classroom door to my desk.
As always, I arrived early. Obviously on purpose, early arrival means minimal human interaction.
I was trying to get mentally prepared for another day to end quickly by pretending to take notes.
But then she entered.
The whole atmosphere changed.
Conversation got lower. Every eye followed her. The boys that secretly ranked girls in their heads suddenly sat up straight.
But she ignored all of that.
And walked directly to me.
"Good morning." She said.
She stopped in front of me.
These words from her mouth made the whole class fall into silence.
Threatening stares from the boys towards me were saying, "YOU ARE SO DEAD."
And I considered myself to be dead already.
"Morning." I replied.
She studied my face carefully.
"You're tired."
"No, no. That's just my default face."
"You didn't come yesterday."
My heart was about to explode into pieces.
"I... I had cram school."
"You should have informed me," she said plainly.
"Inform you?"
"Yes."
You see, there are many ways to end your social life, but on the rooftop, licking saliva and arrangements is very highly disturbing.
She placed her finger on my desk.
A tiny, shiny, transparent droplet was there.
Nobody saw it, but it was there.
I just gave up on my life and closed my eyes.
"What are you doing?" I whispered.
"You missed your dose."
"I said, stop calling it that."
"You were restless yesterday."
"No, I was studying."
"You were watching porn."
That sentence paused me for a second.
"...How would you know that?"
"I can tell."
Again with her mysterious answer.
Then, she leaned closer to me.
"Your smell has changed," she sniffed.
"I don't think my smell has daily updates."
"Lick it."
Now, here is the important part.
The rooftop situation was different because it was isolated and private.
But this is a fucking classroom.
Even though nobody is directly looking at us, there are students who are talking, moving, and existing.
If someone just turned their head and saw me licking something off the desk, it would begin the questionable lifestyle of mine.
I leaned back in my chair.
"No."
"You're refusing?" she blinked.
"Yes, I am."
"You weren't refusing on the rooftop."
"That was my mistake. And a different situation."
"How?"
"That was on your finger. But it is on the desk."
She paused for a minute and processed my words.
"...But this is also my saliva."
"Technically correct but morally unacceptable."
For a moment, she simply stared at the droplet and wiped it away with her saliva.
Then she pulled her chair and sat beside my desk.
Not too close but just close enough so we can talk.
But there was nothing to talk about.
Airi put her head on the desk.
I was avoiding eye contact with her and looked out the window.
Then she asked...
"Did you think about it?"
I sighed.
"If you are asking about licking your saliva off your finger on the rooftop, of course, I thought about it. That kind of event doesn't happen often in my daily life."
"Did it bother you?"
"That depends."
"On what?"
"On whether you're going to keep doing it."
She didn't answer immediately.
"You will beg me," she said softly.
"What?"
"You will beg me, crawl to me, and get down on your knees... "
"And say, please let me lick your saliva."
That sentence made me more confused.
Before I could respond, she gently smiled at me.
Her smile was warm and soft.
"... I know you definitely will."
"No, I will not."
She smirked.
"Let's see."
She stood up.
"Come to the rooftop today," she said.
"That sounds like an order."
"It's a request."
She walked out of the room without another word.
I stared at my desk.
I thought I was fucked.
The rooftop incident was strange. But now it felt like the beginning of the routine. And honestly, this is even worse.
I looked toward the window.
Somewhere along the way, my life had started to drift into something unfamiliar.
But there is a theory I have developed after many years of observing human society.
Many problems begin with the phrase, "It's probably fine."
In the rooftop incident, I told myself something very unreasonable.
It's just a one-time thing. It's probably fine.
And here I am, and the worst part was the uncomfortable realization that despite all my complaints...
I will go to the rooftop.