For the next few days, I didn't go back. I didn't want to. I had no desire to become part of that stupid, humiliating performance anymore. I wanted my home back, wanted the place that mattered to me, the place that held my life, but at the same time, I didn't want to set foot there again.
That day, standing among those ruins, I felt completely alone, as though no one remained on my side.
God, that was stupid.
Because it had never been true. Not even close.
I had Kazuo.
And despite everything, he was always on my side. Just like now.
He'd made tea, put together some simple sandwiches, and was once again trying through that forced cheerfulness of his to pull me out of this stagnant state I was stuck in. I watched him move around the kitchen. Only then did I notice how scraped up he was, how many small new cuts and half-healed wounds covered his arms.
"Have you been going there every day?" I asked quietly.
Kazuo sighed, sat down across from me, and nodded. "Yeah. I have to do something." He hesitated, rubbing his palm absently. "I probably should rest. But I can't sit at home."
Guilt crawled up my throat.
"I'm sorry," I muttered, poking at my sandwich without much appetite. "I've been… not really myself lately. I don't have much strength. But I'll go today. I promise."
"Hey, no, you don't have to," he said quickly. "You don't have to force yourself."
The way he looked at me made something unpleasant twist inside me. It made me feel small and broken.
"No," I said after a moment. "I need to do something too. I can't sit here doing nothing. That won't change anything. So yeah. Let's go today."
Kazuo smiled. Relief flickered across his face. "That's the spirit. I like that."
We finished our tea in silence and then got ready to head out toward the bar together.
As we got closer to the bar, I noticed a familiar figure standing there.
Anton. One of our regulars.
What was he doing here?
For a second, I thought maybe he was just curious and came to stare at the ruins, to see how bad it really was. Or maybe he wanted to know how we were doing.
Still, it was strange. I'd assumed that our former customers would rather pretend this place never existed, rather than be associated with it now. But the closer we got, the clearer it became: he wasn't just passing by. He was waiting for us.
When he noticed us, he waved awkwardly, then immediately looked embarrassed and started scraping the toe of his shoe against the asphalt like a nervous kid.
"Hey… guys," he said, hesitating, clearly struggling to put his thoughts together. "I, uh… I was thinking… maybe you need some help? Or something. I mean, I know I should've come earlier, but…" He trailed off, gave up on finishing the sentence, then sighed. "Anyway. If you need any help at all, I thought I could do something."
Kazuo looked at him for a long moment. Then he exhaled, a small cloud of cold breath escaping into the air.
"Well," he said slowly, "I guess we can always find work. Come on."
When we stepped onto the ruins, I saw how much Kazuo had already done. Large charred beams, broken furniture, and heavy chunks of debris were stacked neatly into piles. Uncomfortable guilt pressed down on me again. I'd left him alone with all of this for days, over what? Some stupid video? A crowd of thoughtless onlookers? I swallowed hard. Yeah. That wasn't great of me.
The three of us worked quietly for a while. Anton was on the phone at some point, arguing with someone about a truck, about a dump, about logistics I barely followed.
My stomach growled. I hadn't even noticed how hungry I was. We hadn't brought anything with us.
Right as that thought crossed my mind, a cheerful female voice called out, light and purring: "Hey, guys! Are you hungry?"
I turned around and froze.
Erica. The ever-flirting, always-smiling cat woman stood there with a heavy bag in her hands.
"I figured you've been working nonstop," she said, a little awkwardly. "Thought you might need food."
She adjusted the bag, then noticed Anton, and her face visibly relaxed.
"Oh. You're here too?"
"Yeah," he replied, scratching the back of his head.
They exchanged a look, and I realized they were both relieved not to be the only ones who'd come. The tension in the air softened.
Kazuo smiled. "I'm starving," he said. "Like a wolf."
We all laughed. Erica started pulling containers out of the bag, small boxes filled with food. We ate standing among the ruins, sharing what she'd brought, and that heavy, suffocating feeling of loneliness eased a little.