*And it seems: a human voice: a human voice
Will never sound here again,
Only the wind of the Stone Age
Knocks at the black gates.*
*And it seems to me that I survived
Under this sky alone—
For being the first to want
To drink the mortal wine."*
Anna Akhmatova
August 24, 1056
"You're the bravest, strongest, and dumbest kunoichi of my lifetime," Commander Takashi said calmly right off the bat, bursting into my ward that morning in 1056.
I smiled slightly, knowing he was right. It was a bit funny, but at the same time, I knew I was about to get chewed out. After all, charging at ten jounin as a freshly minted chunin—that took some seriously messed-up brains. What was I thinking? Truth be told… my opinion hadn't changed.
"What can you do, Takashi-san? Not everyone can live a calm, measured life—someone has to shake the borders of this world," I smirked a little again. "Even if it's out of stupidity."
"I only found out today that you survived. Before that, things were rough for me too, and rumors were flying around the village that our whole squad was dead."
"As you see, not all of us," I said thoughtfully.
"And that's good," he sat by my bed, setting something on the nightstand, which was already practically overflowing with flowers and gifts. There were so many it felt like a coffin, not a bed. "I'll be here with you for five minutes, then I have to go take care of business," he said, glancing at his watch.
"Takashi-san, you'd better tell me—what about the team? Did anyone survive?" I asked, worried. He nodded in response, calmly adding "we."
"What about Shiju and Yasushi?!"
"They're missing in action, so they're considered dead."
"How?!" I frowned. "I saved Yasushi, and Shiju ran away!"
"Shiju ran into an enemy squad; we haven't seen him since. I assume he's long been in Orochimaru's torture chamber by now."
"W-what…? Why?!" I couldn't find words for my shock.
"He had some secret intel on the Leaf; he's a pretty strong, talented shinobi, but cowardly. So, I think the enemies knew about it. As for the intel, it's no longer relevant. Just a shame about the kid. He was young," he said as if he'd already buried him in his mind.
"So that means…" I swallowed, afraid to continue "they'll torture h-him just for f-fun?"
Shiju was the guy who, you could say, betrayed me and pushed me into the battlefield. But despite that, I'd never wish for him to end up in the Village of Sand's torture chamber or with Orochimaru. No one, not even the most evil and horrible person, deserves that. Sure, he wasn't the nicest guy, but that's too cruel, even for him!
"We won't know anything more here," he shook his head "just like we won't know where Yasushi vanished to. For us, it'll probably remain a mystery forever."
"W-why?" I swallowed.
"Usually, people who get captured or tortured go mad there. They're treated like objects. And so they won't be found or, worse for the enemy, identified, they're just burned. Even if someone escapes, their life and fate are destroyed forever. I once rescued some of ours during the Third Shinobi World War," he fell silent here, staring into space, seemingly remembering. "What the enemies did to them…"
"How can that be…" I looked only at my hands lying on the blanket. My head swirled with all sorts of thoughts: from it not being true to someday it happening to me. "What's wrong with this world…"
I didn't understand why the world was so cruel. How could that be? How could one person inflict so much pain on another? Deep down, I despised and feared even glimpsing it. That such things were possible a priori, that this wasn't a movie, a story, some cartoon. But this tangible, real reality! This world turned out far crueler than I'd imagined. Than they'd shown us.
"Ariza…" the commander called, but I cut him off.
"This can't be… It can't! It shouldn't be like this. How can people be so cruel to each other? How can they treat each other like that?" I asked sincerely, looking hopefully at the gray-haired commander.
"People come in all kinds."
"Takashi-san… we'll save them? Right?"
"That's still up in the air—whether they'll send a rescue team or not."
"Up in the air how?" I said, a bit indignant. The whole situation was throwing me off. "You mean they might not rescue the captives? Just abandon them?!"
"Yes, it depends on the situation and the level of danger."
"Damn it," I replied quieter, realizing Shiju and Yasushi probably wouldn't be rescued. "But is that how… it should be?"
He checked his watch and stood, signaling he couldn't stay longer.
"Commander, please tell me—am I wrong?" I looked at him desperately as he was leaving.
"You're right about everything, but it's not the world that's cruel—you just see the shinobi world too rosily. Even though logic tells you otherwise," he said, said goodbye, and left the ward, leaving me alone.
One phrase spun in my head: "What did they die for?" What do all these people die for? The ones left behind like that? What do they prove by staying silent, what they guard, why endure? Who do they prove it to?
Or is it for honor, for friends, for dignity?
What drives people to this? Maybe it's all a lie, and people really beg for mercy and spill everything? And in movies, they just show all this bravery and silence for show?
I'd never been present at a torture to know…
And I hope I never will.
I kept staring at my bandaged hands until a knock at the door interrupted me.
"Hi, Ari," Sasuke interrupted, peeking through the door into the ward. He scanned the room with his gaze, and he and Naruto entered. "How are you feeling?"
"Fine," I replied dully.
"What happened?" Naruto asked, who, like Sasuke, had already approached the bed.
"Our squad commander came by and said almost everyone we fought is dead," I replied sadly, lowering my gaze.
"That's a shame," Naruto said quietly.
"When you recover, shall we go visit their graves together?" Sasuke suggested, and I nodded slightly.
"Thanks, guys."
"Guys, how do we get to my dad? I checked today—the door has some code."
"Leave it to me, Dobe," I sighed, getting out of bed. "Stop moping, Ariza. You need to take Naruto to his dad so he can at least see him," I reassured myself, realizing my friend had it worse right now. Minato would die any day now. As sad as that was. "Let's go, guys," I said, leaving the ward.
"Dad's in ward four," he said, and I nodded, heading to the junior medical ninja's station.
We approached the station, and as I entered, I opened the bottom right drawer of the desk. After a quick search and finding what I needed, I came out.
"What were you doing there?" Sasuke asked.
"They won't catch us?" Naruto asked at the same time as his friend.
"The medical ninja isn't always at the station; it's two o'clock now—they have lunch from two to two-thirty, so they gather in the break room. We've got time. This is the key to intensive care ward four. Few know where it is since it's the spare of the spares, but I do because I did my medical ninja training here when I finished the courses. So let's go. Someone will come check in about fifteen minutes."
"Okay," the guys said together, and we headed to the third floor.
"Naruto, when I open the door, make a clone to return the key, okay?" I asked while opening the door.
"Yes," he nodded "I remember where it was."
"And how do we get back out?"
"We won't need it anymore," I answered Sasuke's question, handing the key to Naruto's clone. "The door opens from the inside with a button."
"You sure no one will come?" Naruto asked again as we entered.
"I'll sense everyone, Naruto," I replied half-turning and put a finger to my lips "so be quiet."
We entered, and a bright ray of light immediately hit my eyes through the gap in the half-closed blinds, making me squint. Shielding the light with my hand, I looked at the bed directly opposite the door and saw thin arms lying atop the blanket pulled up to the chest, stuck with needles connected to tubes through which various fluids flowed. And gazing at this scene, noting the details, I mentally flashed back several months to when we stood before Minato's desk, and I noticed his thin arms and bags under his eyes. What could have been changed then? What fixed?
It hurt and felt empty inside; I pitied Naruto. What was worse: growing up alone all childhood or losing your only close person?
Snapping out of the memory whirlpool, I noticed Naruto already sitting by the Hokage's bed, staring unblinkingly. He gazed at his father's closed eyes, sometimes scanning the pale, sunken cheeks. The Hokage's face held absolute serenity, while Naruto's brows furrowed slightly. He clenched his fists tightly, stretching the skin over his knuckles taut. I could understand my friend—I knew what it was like to lose…
Naruto's father wouldn't wake up, and I felt a vile sensation spreading in my chest. Disgusting because I knew Minato was living his final hours, while Naruto sat believing his dad would open his eyes any moment.
Tears welled up, forcing me to turn away so the guys wouldn't see if I couldn't hold them back. I took a couple quiet steps not to disturb my friend, then froze unexpectedly when the full view of the ward opened up. On the nightstand by the Hokage's bed, a pendulum swayed silently. Side to side. Right to left, left to right. Over and over. I doubted what I saw for a moment but approached and confirmed it was indeed a pendulum.
*"Interesting, what's it doing here? Who put it?"* — I thought, carefully picking it up. — *"What did he mean? Life is a pendulum? What was that supposed to mean?"* — I pondered and gently set the swaying object back.
"Dad looks so pale and tired…" Naruto said quietly and hoarsely for some reason. "I hope he gets better."
"He will, Naruto," Sasuke encouraged him, and I decided to check something. I approached the bed, sat carefully on the edge, and took Minato's wrist. I wanted to know one thing—was that number still on his hand from our last meeting?
I turned his hand over and saw the green "1," nearly transparent, hard to make out.
I swallowed. But the lump of fear and panic remained.
*Today.*
Time flies so fast: you don't notice, and you're already at your end…
*"Ari,"* — a voice suddenly whispered in my ear, startling me. — "What's up?" — Sasuke asked.
"Nothing," I shook my head. "Listen, do you see this?" I pointed to the number.
"What is it?" Naruto approached us, standing nearby.
"Just look closely."
"Just a normal hand," Naruto said.
"Agree with Dobe," Sasuke added.
"Got it, must've been my imagination," I lowered his hand and returned to the pendulum. They don't see it. Hm… then why do I? Maybe because I saw it before?
"Ari, you're a medical ninja—will he recover?" Naruto asked hopefully, catching me off guard. I didn't know what to say, didn't understand what to tell him. Lie? He won't forgive later. Truth? He won't believe. Say I don't know? That's a lie too. Damn.
Oppressive silence filled the room. I felt the guys' gazes on me. They were waiting for my answer.
"Naruto, life is like a pendulum. I could tell you one thing now, and it'd be different in a minute," I evaded concisely and glanced at the pendulum, which swayed slower and slower. One thing was clear—it would stop any moment.
"But the pendulum can stop…" Sasuke voiced my thoughts slowly, staring at it too.
"I think…" I trailed off, frozen, watching the pendulum gradually slow "that when it stops…"
"What are you talking about?" Naruto asked, not grasping our quiet, complementary exchange, but we didn't answer, mesmerized by the pendulum. It had hypnotized us. We stared, barely breathing, waiting for it to stop. Or rather, waiting for what came after.
It swung quietly once, barely twice. And on the third, it stopped abruptly. So unexpectedly, almost defying physics.
Silence hung in the room; we stared at the pendulum for three seconds, then I exhaled slowly and said with relief: "Lucky." But at that instant, like thunder from a clear sky, the ward shook with the beeping of machines.
*This is the end.*
***
Read the story months ahead of the public release — early chapters are available on my Patreon: Granulan