Hiding something from friends is dangerous;
but even more dangerous is hiding nothing from them.
Jean de La Fontaine ©
July 21st, 1056
Yesterday I secretly visited almost all my friends. I stopped by Hinata, Choji (who stingily didn't share his crackers), Lee, whom my clone and Guy-sensei managed to save after all. He was really badly hurt, but not like in canon, and that was a relief.
I feel responsible not just for Naruto and Sasuke, but for everyone else. If they die—the story changes drastically. Overall, everything went well; none of ours were seriously hurt or died.
The only person I couldn't reach was Sasuke. They just wouldn't let me in. Of course, I got worried and asked the others what was up. They said he won without much effort, but for some reason Kakashi took him somewhere.
In short, I can conclude that suppressing the cursed seal is extremely painful; otherwise, Sasuke wouldn't be in the hospital.
I hope they'll let me in today at least. Otherwise, I'm beside myself.
I asked my friends about the matches. And the most interesting thing was that almost all the fights were identical to the anime! This just confirmed my theories again.
I've long noticed there are too many coincidences with canon. Too many for a parallel world. There shouldn't be that many, in my opinion; after all, there should be a "butterfly effect." The slightest changes in the past—global consequences in the future. That's why I urgently need answers to my theories.
By the way, I finally learned where the stomach wound came from. Yesterday during dressing, the Medical Ninja noted it was deep blunt scratches. Everything fell into place—it was the wolf that managed to wound me after all. Good thing not vital organs.
Though, this wound doesn't bother me much. It doesn't cause huge discomfort like, say, the wound Kabuto gave me. That deep kunai scratch from collarbone to navel hurts with every body movement.
"Nothing... I'll pay Kabuto back for this," I thought, adjusting my turquoise hospital shirt. Of course, it won't be easy. He's a very smart and cunning shinobi; even in the anime, he fooled everyone. And he thinks several steps ahead. As a shinobi—he's worthy of respect. But as a person, I despise him.
Settling comfortably in the stiff hospital bed, I surveyed the ward. It was small, for two patients, yet spacious. Quite cozy, in a warm green color. And clean too. It felt like there had been a recent renovation. I was on the bed closer to the door, and the one by the window was still free.
In a word—the ward is great! But for me—it's a prison. And I feel like a prisoner.
They bring food. Windows don't open. Getting up is forbidden. Doing anything is forbidden. Leaving the ward is forbidden. Even eating on my own is not allowed; they spoon-feed me, thinking I can't lift the spoon. Maybe another shinobi couldn't, but I'm Uzumaki. Though, that doesn't change that I can only lie and stare at the ceiling. Well, of course, I wouldn't be myself if I didn't go out. Thank Kami, no one noticed (except the ANBU by Sasuke's ward, but they didn't care).
But that was only once; the rest of the time I healed myself with medical ninjutsu and just stared at the ceiling.
"So boring here," I sighed heavily. Dressing was in the morning, lunch not soon. Perfect time. "Time to head to Sasuke. Hope they let me in today."
Slowly and carefully, I got up. Fixed my shirt. Put on slippers. I swayed a bit, but grabbed the nightstand in time. Eh, that's it. Getting old. No crutches in the ward, as they probably didn't even suspect I could stand and go somewhere. So, without leaning on my injured leg, I shuffled to the door like a snail.
I perfectly understand right now that I should lie down and heal. But I can't lie still now. My soul is restless. I'm worried. Once I learn Sasuke's okay, then I'll rest!
I sneak to the entrance. Right hand on the doorknob, left forming the seal for chakra terrain analysis. Of course, assuming no one inside, since this wing isn't often visited, I started opening the door—but no such luck. Behind it were Naruto and Sasuke, and I realized it as the door began opening from the other side. I let go of the knob and shrank back.
Damn... I'm in for it again...
Short pause. Naruto, holding something in his hands, tilted his head slightly and raised one eyebrow. Sasuke, in hospital clothes, frowned more and more with each second.
"Well, I... uh... In general, uh," my eyes darted, and I frantically came up with excuses in my head, "welcome! I was just coming to meet you," I smiled awkwardly and half-turned, pointing to the ward.
They looked at me distrustfully, their faces even more serious. Damn, I'm so stupid. In an instant, I realized how idiotic my excuse was. Here I stand before them, leaning on one leg, all bandaged up. Literally. Legs bandaged, neck too, arms not excluded! Oops...
"Ari?" Sasuke squinted and looked at me questioningly. And his eyes said: "You're not stupid enough to think we're idiots."
"Yes, Sasuke, Naruto, hi," the silly smile slipped from my face. "Sorry."
Calmly exhaling, I headed to the hospital bed. My friends are fine. That means everything will be okay.
"Why did you get out of bed, Ari-chan?" Naruto asked calmly; like Sasuke, he gently supported me as I made my way to the bed.
"It's like this, in general..." I began, "thanks," I said curtly, "short version, wanted to go somewhere, and here you are."
"Don't go anywhere, dattebayo! You can't, Ariza-chan."
"Fine, Dobe."
"We brought your things," Sasuke said and placed my outfit on the nightstand. "Can you say where and why you were heading?"
"Um, how'd you get into my house?" I ignored my friend's last question, and at mine, Sasuke silently and slowly pulled keys from his pocket. But no keychain of mine, so not my keys.
"Remember, before the first stage, your door broke. We fixed the keyhole that day?" Sasuke asked, and I instantly realized I remembered only that the door broke, but not how we fixed it. Actually, the only thing I remember from the first stage day is waking up, breaking the door, acing the test, helping Naruto, and visiting the subconscious. That's it. Then I woke up at Jiro's the next day, found the unknown scroll, and went to the second exam stage, where I met Orochimaru, who put the cursed seal on me and Sasuke. To Uchiha's question, I just nodded and pretended to remember. "So, when you asked to make a copy of the keys, I made two instead of one. Gave you one set, kept the other. Just in case," Sasuke admitted honestly.
"Well... keep them if you want," I drawled. "I'm not against," for some reason, I trusted Sasuke more, fully sure he wouldn't rummage in my house without permission.
"Fine," he replied indifferently and pocketed the keys. "But to be honest, where were you heading?" Sasuke returned to the old topic. Damn, now if I don't tell the truth—he won't let up.
"I wanted to visit you," I said no longer justifying, sat on the bed, and covered my legs with the blanket. "I thought something happened to you."
"I'm fine, unlike you," Sasuke circled the bed and stood opposite me, leaning on the high bedframe.
"I'm good, Sasuke."
"Doesn't look like it, Ari-chan; that brother Kabuto really got you..." on the last word, Naruto crossed his arms and silently looked out the window.
"I said it's fine. It was a regular fight. On the regular exam."
"I could only follow your fight with Sharingan," Sasuke replied quickly, not taking his eyes off me.
"What?" I feel my eyes widening.
"I couldn't even notice it at all!" Naruto added and sat on the empty bed.
"Come on, you're joking. We fought fast, sure, but not that fast," I shook my head. "You imagined it."
"No. Ariza," Sasuke said dead serious, and I started getting nervous. "Or will you say those techniques from the second exam stage seemed too?"
"No. I... umm... was just about to show you..." I looked away.
"Cool! When'd you master them?"
"A few months ago, but they're not finished," I answered Naruto.
"And how many more 'unfinished' techniques do you have?" Sasuke continued interrogating.
"Enough," I said uncertainly.
"Ari-chan, if you had cool techniques, why didn't you show them from the start? Or at least tell us!"
"The thing is, Naruto, I didn't want to tell you about them," I pressed my lips, realizing if I told them about the techniques, they'd forbid using them. After all, much of what I came up with is kinjutsu that harm the user.
"Why?!" Uzumaki asked indignantly sincerely.
"Naruto, because it has to be that way. I don't have to tell you everything."
"But I tell you everything! And hide nothing! Otherwise it's..."
"And how much more are you hiding from us?!" Sasuke interrupted his friend sharply; Uchiha was clearly displeased. He clenched his jaw so hard his jaw muscles showed. "Does this concern all of us or just you?"
"A lot... Sasuke... And yes, it concerns all of us."
"So Kabuto was right," Sasuke lowered his head. "Fine... Ariza. Keep your secrets as long as you want. But..."
"Sasuke!" now Naruto excitedly interrupted Uchiha and stood up. "Friends should have no secrets! We're friends! Ari! Why are you doing this?!" Naruto spoke in a raised tone.
"It's better for all of us this way. Sorry... Naruto."
If I told them about the mission, the unknown scroll, Orochimaru's mad desire, and much more, it'd mean shifting responsibility onto them. And I can't do that. It's my burden, and I have to carry it.
"But, Ariza! You can trust me and Sasuke! We're your friends; we'll understand and support you!" he kept insistently proving his point.
"Naruto," Sasuke remarked to him; he'd already cooled down, "don't yell, or they'll kick us out."
"Sasuke! It's like you don't care!" Naruto shouted indignantly and pointed at Uchiha.
"I care, but she won't change. So shut up, Dobe."
"Naruto. You're right. But you don't need to know my secrets."
"So that's how it is, Ari-chan..." Naruto said bitterly. "This... This is unfair!"
Naruto left the ward without another word. Seems it hurt him deeply, and he was offended. It hurt to see the cheerful, sunny boy so downcast.
"Maybe I'm used to your secrecy, Ari, but Naruto isn't. And he's right. If you trusted us, you wouldn't be afraid to tell," Sasuke said with a calm face. "You know your secrets will be revealed sooner or later anyway."
"I trust you!" I exclaimed desperately. "Just..."
"Doesn't show," Uchiha replied grimly and headed for the exit.
"Sasuke, wait!..."
"Get well," he threw over his shoulder last and followed Naruto out.
I was left alone in the ward. It felt like it would take centuries to beg their forgiveness, though I knew they'd forgive me since they consider me a friend. What kind of friend am I if I lie?
I felt disgusted with myself.
They're my best friends. What am I doing?
I crawled under the blanket and buried my face in the cold pillow.
I knew sooner or later they'd get tired of it. Yoshi-san was right...
If only Sasuke and Naruto understood me... If only they knew...
No one forbade me from telling. So what am I afraid of?
"Fine. Enough. If intuition says not to tell, then no. They'll have to put up with me," I wipe my wet eyes with the blanket. "Yeah, they got unlucky with me... And with sensei," I drift into sleep and faintly hear the crack of a tree branch where Kakashi was sitting.
***
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