Shatter. That was the sound of Kaizen's soul leaving his body.
When he pulled back the waistband, what he saw was nothing short of a miracle.
Yes, a miracle! A reverse miracle!
Because how was it physically possible for something to be even shorter than what he had before? The laws of physics should forbid this!
'Is this a joke?! What the hell is this?! My old one was a peanut but this... this is a pumpkin seed! A dehydrated pumpkin seed!'
He shook his head violently, refusing to accept this new reality.
What kind of garbage luck was this?
When Kaizen and every other person on Earth got snatched up and dumped into this fantasy world with dragons and hot elven mages, he naturally assumed that magic would fix the plumbing.
If you can throw a fireball, surely you can add an inch or two. But no. Magic had been around for eons and not a single wizard had bothered to invent a "Growth Charm."
What were they even doing with their lives?
'What is wrong with these wizards?! They can move mountains and resurrect the dead but nobody thought to invent a 'Bigus Dickus' spell?!'
Kaizen was sure this was a conspiracy. It had to be.
"I-it's really a 99.99% problem... I swear... on my pumpkin seed."
He tried to rationalize it. He had to. Otherwise, he would have to admit defeat.
"C-cough cough... l-like I said, it is totally normal!"
Look at the data. He lived two lives. In both lives, he had a micro- he meant, a perfectly normal pp. That is a 100% probability rate. The math doesn't lie!
His fellow author who wrote the book 'Size is Just a Number' was right all along! He definitely wasn't the president of the Small Seed Society!
"Everybody has a small pp! Even the people reading smut novels right now! Especially them!"
Kaizen sighed and smiled a broken, manic smile.
Then he walked over to the corner, squatted down, and cried like a baby for a full minute.
But a true man does not stay down! He stood up, wiped his snot, and hit his chest with false bravery.
"So what if I have a pumpkin seed! The only reason to have genitals is for procreation! I am a man of focus! I am a man of sheer will! Even if the gods themselves came down and offered to enlarge my little baby, I would never accept it! My dignity is not for sale!"
[Do you wish to enlarge your pumpkin seed?]
"YES!!!!"
Without a millisecond of hesitation Kaizen was on his knees, hands clasped together, looking up with tears of manly passion.
"Please! I'll do anything! Turn this seed into a cucumber! No, a zucchini! An eggplant!"
Shameless! He was such a shameless guy!
.
..
...
It took him another full minute to calm down from his outburst. He sat on the bed, his chest heaving, and looked at the blue holographic notification floating in front of him.
It wasn't strange to see system interference since coming to this world everybody got one. It showed their status, quests accepted, and all that boring RPG junk.
But this one... this one was different.
[Welcome to the Harem System, host!]
[Your path to glory lies here. Just follow this humble system's path and you can become the biggest and baddest bastard in this world.]
[And this system truly meant 'biggest.' Wink wink.]
"..."
Kaizen's eyes twitched.
"Hey system, why do you sound like a scammer? You sound like those guys who call about extended car warranties."
[System is honest, host. There's no scamming here. Only growth. Large, throbbing growth.]
"...Right."
Kaizen could only accept the system's words for now, even though it really sounded like a salesman who was about to con an innocent grandma.
But he had a second life thanks to this thing so he should at least listen to what it had to say.
He knew how to get powerful and how to extract his revenge using his old methods, but if this system could provide him something... extra... then obviously he would think about it.
He crossed his arms over his skinny chest and nodded.
"Continue, system. Sell me the dream."
[The Eye of the Devil was a relic from the Demon of Lust.]
'Eye of the Devil was a relic? I always thought it was just a cool artifact.'
In his previous life, he got it from clearing a dungeon and killing a 64-eyed Spider Mom. It was a gross fight.
He couldn't activate the item or figure out what it did, but since it didn't possess any dark magic he wore it around his neck on a chain. It looked cool and edgy, perfect for a guild leader.
He knew there was a faint power emanating from it from time to time, but since it was minuscule he didn't care to look into it. He was too busy enjoying his "King of the Lower Realm" lifestyle.
He decided to hear the system fully.
[Since you had it for so long, the relic chose you as its vassal.]
[You are now the vassal of the Demon of Lust.]
?!
'What the hell?'
Kaizen jumped from the bed in shock, only to feel instant nausea since his body was trash. He quickly sat back down, clutching his head to ward off the sudden dizziness.
"I almost died just standing up. Pathetic. Wait... V-vassal of the Demon of Lust? Isn't the Demon of Lust long lost?!"
There were several demons and devils in this world. Each of the Seven Deadly Sins had demons corresponding to its name but only a few of them were alive, or at least rumored to be alive.
In his 2 years of living here, he hadn't encountered any demon of that high stature.
Suddenly he remembered that bastard Arthur's words.
"You were always so stuck up, Kaizen. Refusing to move to the Mid Realm because you wanted to just stay here in this comfort zone. Well, look at you now. You're the weakest one here."
'So it means, all of these demons and main players are in the other realms, huh?'
According to the maps, the world was a circular disc.
The outer edge of the vast world was known as the Lower Realm. It was basically the slums of the universe where vagrants, the non-awakened, and the pitifully talented lived.
Coming to the middle of the disk was the Mid Realm. Mana density was high there and people were more powerful. Most of the aristocrats and royalties lived there.
Why were they living there rather than the High Realm or Greater Realm? Well simply put, the other two realms were a graveyard if you weren't crazy and lunatically powerful.
Nobody could seize control there since everybody was always fighting against themselves and against forces that nobody could even comprehend.
A detailed map of those regions wasn't even available. But like everything, the higher the risk, the higher the rewards.
Arthur and his old friends wanted to travel to the Higher Realm to understand why they were suddenly displaced from their home world Earth. They wanted answers. They wanted power.
But reaching the Higher Realm was impossible and Kaizen thought it would be too dangerous.
Why would they risk their lives when they could live like kings in the Lower Realm? Were they stupid?
But thinking about it now, as he sat in a dirty room with a pumpkin seed between his legs... Kaizen knew he was the stupid one.
He sighed.
He was a frog in a well, happy with his little puddle while his friends were plotting to swim in the ocean.
"I should have let them go. I held them back... and they cut my head off for it."
But suddenly, a crucial thought struck him like a bolt of lightning. He narrowed his eyes and addressed the floating blue screen.
"H-hey System, wait a minute. Doesn't the 'Demon of Lust' need, you know... heavy artillery?"
"How can I represent the concept of Lust when I'm walking around with a pumpkin seed?"
"I'm less 'Demon of Lust' and more 'Goblin of Mild Disappointment'."
It was a genuine question from his soul. He waited in anticipation. He knew the job description. If he was going to be the CEO of Sex, he needed a corporate merger in his pants.
Was the System going to give him a sudden upgrade? Or a quest to find the legendary 'Excalibur of Flesh'?
Kaizen licked his lips, sweating nervously.
[Host, do not worry. You already have the corresponding blessing from the Demon of Lust for your journey.]
!!!
Without even thinking, the over-excited man mentally smashed the Notification Bar open.
A new screen popped up. And seeing the words appear on it, Kaizen was instantly elevated to nirvana.
In fact, he didn't even finish reading the first sentence before his pumpkin seed gave a little salute and leaked a single, happy tear of joy.
Why? Because...
[Blessing from the Demon Of Lust]
[Reward: 1x Demonic Enlargement of your Appendage.]
[Description: 6 inches might work for Earthlings, but that won't cut it in the world of fantasy! To plow through the thick defense of an Elven Princess, to make the Demon Queen addicted to your rod, to make the Angel forget her prayers, you need a weapon of mass destruction!]
[New Size: 13 inches!]
Kaizen threw his hands in the air and screamed at the ceiling.
"ABSOLUTE CINEMA!"
He was thrilled! He was elevated! He was leaking again! It was even more exciting than having sex with Lilian ever was!
'This... This is my second coming!'
That was true. He had indeed come two times in the last thirty seconds just by reading a PDF file, but Kaizen wasn't referring to that.
In fact, he was ignoring that biological failure completely.
He was too hyped. He needed to test the aerodynamics.
He quickly ran to the fallen ceiling fan and humped the air above it.
Obviously, nothing touched the metal because his current equipment had zero reach, so he dismissed that and sprinted to the bed.
He grabbed a pillow and aggressively humped the air in front of it. Again, zero contact. It was like watching a glitching video game character.
He angrily and excitedly threw the pillow against the wall, pointed a shaking finger at it, and shouted.
"Don't look at me like that! Just you wait! After I accept the blessing, you will be bathing in my white victory, you filthy cotton woman!"
He was descending into degenerate madness so fast the demon didn't even have to corrupt him. He was speed-running the corruption arc.
But of course, just as he was about to press [Accept], another message popped up that made him lose faith in the universe once more.
[System Error.]
[Installation Failed.]
[Reason: Since this new body of yours has a 'Vile Curse' on it, you cannot accept the blessing from the Lord...]