In short, the great Pharaoh Ozymandias's explanation boiled down to the following.
Ozymandias had been summoned by Crusaders who, in a mad frenzy, wished to set everything ablaze. However, the Pharaoh took the Holy Grail from them and, along with the summoned Egypt, returned to his homeland, creating his own territory which he ruled to this day. The Crusaders, left without the Grail, were attacked and utterly defeated by knights led by the so-called Lion King. Jerusalem, meanwhile, had become a holy city where this king and his army had settled.
"Therefore, the Grail will remain under My reliable protection," Ozymandias proclaimed. "As for you, envoys of Chaldea, it is time to return whence you came! You are not yet ready!"
"Oh, he's just like Illidan," Wade whispered.
Ozymandias ordered the foreigners to leave. But Ritsuka's group, led by Da Vinci, had no intention of retreating. They needed to either reclaim the Grail to restore the faltering Anthropos, or at least clarify the situation in this Singularity.
"Insolent fools! Did the great Pharaoh not order you to leave?! How dare you, insignificant aliens, defy the heavenly will of the sovereign...!"
At that moment, Nitocris, who had been standing humbly beside Ozymandias with her head bowed to the floor – in a posture crudely called 'head-stake' in Korea – suddenly straightened up and cried out accusations. However, under the Pharaoh's icy gaze, she immediately shriveled and returned to her original position.
"Nitocris," Ozymandias said coldly. "You dared to eat the strawberry ice cream meant for Me without permission. You are fortunate that the Hassans laced it with a sleeping agent. But since you touched My food, I will have your tongue cut off and sealed later."
"Uh... this is a great honor," she stammered.
From standing on her head for so long, Nitocris's scalp was already splitting, and she was doing her utmost to maintain her balance.
Seeing that Chaldea was not moving, Ozymandias rose from his throne.
"Ah! Fa... Pharaoh!" Nitocris exclaimed.
"Who gave you permission to change your posture? Remain as you are and repent for eating My dessert."
"Yes, my lord... oh great one..." she exhaled.
Nitocris wanted to intercede for the guests, but she was cut off. In reality, she just wanted to stand up because her head was throbbing unbearably, but the fear of losing her limbs as well forced her to comply.
Ozymandias majestically descended from his pedestal. Ritsuka's companions, unsure of what to expect, swallowed nervously. They kept their eyes fixed on him, ready to repel an attack at any moment.
"So, you will not retreat? Haha! Very well. I am prepared to praise your flea-like courage, for you dare to defy My word! But can this truly be called courage? Courage is the ability to make fear your own! Only one who has known terror knows the price of bravery! The hymn of courage is the hymn of man! The grandeur of valor is the grandeur of humanity! Behold!"
Suddenly, Ozymandias, enveloped in radiance, froze in a peculiar pose.
The Rhythm of Golden-Yellow Pulsation!
"Sunlight Yellow Overdrive!"
A light flashed, akin to the sun. But there was no heat. As Deadpool would say, it was just unbelievably bright. Nothing else happened.
"Listen, Pharaoh?" Wade's voice cut in. "That's from another title, you know. You can't just use stuff like that without permission. Besides, your voice... it's like kryptonite for that technique."
"It matters not. I am omnipotent."
"Yeah. We'll see if you say that to the lawyers."
Then, Ozymandias waved his scepter, and massive slabs appeared between him and Ritsuka's group. Grooves were visible on their surfaces, perfectly fitting stone tablets.
"Hmm... I have a bad feeling about this," Ritsuka muttered.
"I shall personally verify the worth of your recklessness – whether it is true valor or empty boasting," Ozymandias declared.
A huge altar rose before him. Its surface, with its grooves, was painfully reminiscent of a card game table.
"Wait! Hold on! Are you saying... because we're in Egypt, we're going to play 'That Game'? Just because it's Egypt? Are you kidding me?! One match here will drag on for ten chapters! How are we supposed to sort this out?!"
While Deadpool was shouting into the void, an identical altar appeared before Ritsuka.
"The rules are simple. Defeat Me. In a divine game that comes from deep antiquity!"
"Oh gods, great Zorok, why us?" Wade groaned.
Deadpool was in despair. A card table was one thing, but this was too blatant. They'd get sued for copyright infringement!
"Anyone can challenge Me. If you win or achieve a draw even once, I will acknowledge you. So... let the game begin!"
A deck of thirty cards materialized on Ozymandias's altar.
"Well, who's going first?"
Da Vinci-chan, though not fully understanding what was happening, was unwilling to back down. Since even a draw was enough to win, they had a chance.
"To avoid wasting time, I'll start. The faster we finish, the more time we save."
Da Vinci went first. She considered herself a genius, so some ancient card game should be a piece of cake.
"Oho, what a bold woman. You please me. What do you say? I shall grant you the honor of becoming My concubine."
"Oh, handsome, thank you for the offer, but I'm a bit busy. Shall we just start the game?" she cut off dryly.
Ozymandias merely smirked: her refusal only piqued his interest further. The duel began.
"Impossible!"
The unbelievable happened.
"How could I, a genius, lose?!"
On the very first turn, the Pharaoh assembled all five fragments of the "Sealed God of Destruction," and the game ended instantly. Da Vinci didn't even have time to do anything. She tried to protest, calling it cheating, but the only response was his imperious, arrogant laughter.
"If it offends you, rely on your luck. No matter how much of a genius you are, the outcome of battle is decided by the will of heaven! And I, marked by the highest destiny, am invincible, neither on earth nor above it!"
To bring him down a peg, they had to win at all costs. Mash was the next to challenge.
"Senpai, Da Vinci-chan, Mister Pool, I'll do my best!"
"Mash... do you even know the rules of this game?" Ritsuka asked doubtfully.
"Not at all, Senpai!" she replied confidently.
Seeing her enthusiasm, Ritsuka and Deadpool sighed in unison. It seemed there was nothing to be gained in this round either.
"Oh... I... I did everything I could, Senpai."
"Yes, well done, rest now."
The result was predictable: she was utterly crushed. To top it all off, due to Mash's monstrous bad luck, she activated a self-destruction card, finalizing their defeat.
"Two eliminated, two remaining. Ha-ha-ha!"
The genius, defeated by the King of God's luck, was in a daze, and Mash drooped, disheartened by losing a game she didn't even understand. Now, everything depended on the remaining two.
"Kid, leave this to me. Everything before this was just a warm-up. Now I'll show him what 'real' skill looks like..."
Deadpool stood behind the altar with the air of a man going into his final battle. Sensing his determination, Ozymandias stopped laughing.
"Finally, a worthy opponent? Excellent. Let us begin!"
"Deadpool! Your opponent...!"
At that moment, a short man with a chestnut beard appeared in the center of the arena.
"Hey! Listen! You've got the wrong address! We're playing 'That Game' here, not 'This One'!" Wade barked.
"I am aware," the short man grumbled and, ignoring the complaints, finished his introduction:
"The Mo-st glo-rious Pharaoh, King of Gods, King of Kings, blessed by the sun, the Sun God King! O-zy-man-dias!"
Having completed his overly dramatic introduction, the short man vanished without a trace.
"Nothing is impossible for the Pharaoh on Earth. All existence is in My grasp!"
"Huh? What? Well... uh... May light scorch you?"
The game began, and a moment later...
"Aaaaaaah!"
With a short cry, the charred Deadpool collapsed to the floor. Unlike Da Vinci and Mash, he lasted a full ten turns but still couldn't compete with the Pharaoh on equal footing.
"What kind of game is this where everything keeps changing?! And why is he summoning them without any sacrifices?! This is cheating! Where's the rulebook? This is a violation of the rules!"
Deadpool immediately started complaining, but Ozymandias merely laughed arrogantly in response.
"This is My game, created by Me and for Me. I am the rules! This is the essence of 'Imperial Privilege'! Ha-ha-ha-ha!"
What arrogance... He could probably rival a certain infamous Golden King in that regard.
Now, everything depended on Fujimaru Ritsuka. It was hard to imagine if he, the weakest in their company, could defeat the Pharaoh or at least force a draw. No, the probability of failure was too high.
"Senpai!"
Mash looked at him with concern. However, Ritsuka merely smiled at her, urging her not to worry.
"So, only you remain? The novice Master from Chaldea. Possessing neither talent nor magical abilities, you, infinitely weak, hope to oppose Me, the omnipotent? Retreat now, and I shall show mercy."
"I will play!"
Ritsuka's gaze transformed. There was no blind confidence or secret trump card, only a quiet resolve to accept any outcome. To know fear and to master it – that was true courage. And Ozymandias felt it in the fragile youth.
"Commendable bravery! But in this world, courage alone is not enough. Well, writhe in your death throes as much as you wish!"
The battle began.
The final confrontation with Ozymandias. Da Vinci-chan, Mash, and Deadpool decided to trust Ritsuka. After all, he was their last hope.
"My turn! I use My privilege! Activating 'Unconditional Summoning.' And appearing before Me...!"
Ozymandias laid three cards on the altar.
"Appear, My vassals! Guardians blessed by the Sun, Wind, and Earth!"
Three colossal figures, risen on the Pharaoh's altar, possessed power worthy of the King of God's servants. Cards of gods, known as the Three Egyptian Gods. A dazzling golden silhouette with wings – "Winged Dragon Ra," a giant serpent with scarlet scales – "Celestial Dragon Osiris," and finally, a mighty stone colossus exuding azure power – "Obelisk Tormentor." All of them appeared on the field by the Pharaoh's will.
"Hey, hold on. Isn't this a bit of a blatant plagiarism from another work?"
Egyptians had always loved card games and...
"No, no, no! He's clearly not ATM! I mean, the Pharaoh's powers are similar, but still! This isn't that franchise! This is 'Fate/Grand Order'!"
Deadpool was screaming into the void, but no one listened.
"Are you ignoring me?! Damn author! Completely out of control, doing whatever he wants!"
Despite the lore differences, the general Egyptian theme made this parody more than appropriate.
"He's throwing everything together! Soon we'll end up with some hybrid called 'Fate/Grand Hearthstone'?"
This was an omen.
"What, already?! Right here?! This is just a one-off joke!"
But it was too late to back down; the plot was rushing forward. Besides, they couldn't keep filling the text with Deadpool's arguments with the void forever.
"Alright, forget it. I'll let it slide this time."
While Deadpool grumbled, Ozymandias, having summoned three titans, addressed Ritsuka with a triumphant smile:
"Oh, brave one. You have already proven your courage by daring to challenge Me. Therefore, surrender. This is My last mercy to you, the unwise."
"It's not over yet."
Ritsuka did not surrender. His unyielding will could not be broken even by the great Pharaoh.
"I too... I too will use my privilege to summon! Come forth!"
Ritsuka made the summon. According to the rules... But what rules?
"I am Deathwing! The doom of all existence! I am Cataclysm!"
The earth trembled, and the cards in Ritsuka's hand turned to dust. Simultaneously, the cards on Ozymandias's altar vanished – all three deities turned to sand.
"Holy crap... Is this really happening? I barely mentioned 'Fate/Grand Hearthstone' and it's already here... Is this the fastest gun-in-the-West trope payoff in history?"
Deadpool shivered at how quickly his prediction had come true.
"If anything happens, it's not my fault, alright? If lawsuits come from Konami or Blizzard tomorrow, don't involve me!"
On Ritsuka's altar stood a dragon of black iron, with molten lava flowing through its veins. Its eyes, blazing with a heat capable of consuming the world, glared fiercely at Ozymandias.
"Ha... haha... Ha-ha-ha! Astonishing! Amusing, boy! You managed to use a privilege only available to Me! But I did not grant you such a right! How could this be? Did you dare to deceive Me by resorting to cheap tricks?"
Even in such a situation, Ozymandias merely laughed casually, wanting to know the reason for what had happened. Ritsuka glanced at Deadpool and said:
"Protagonist Privilege?"
Deadpool's eyes bulged.
"Protagonist Privilege? But I'm the protagonist here! Although... wait a minute... hmm... Isn't he also kind of a protagonist?" Deadpool pondered deeply and even pulled out "A Brief Summary of the First Part of Fate/Grand Order" to check.
"Ah, yes. Formally, he is indeed the protagonist, which means he has the right to use plot devices at any convenient time. Even if it completely kills the narrative logic..."
Deadpool immediately accepted this fact. As for Da Vinci-chan and Mash, they were initially stunned, but after witnessing Deadpool's antics, they had grown accustomed to any absurdity. Seeing Ritsuka seize the initiative, they began to cheer him on joyfully.
"Attack!"
At Ritsuka's command, a torrent of molten magma gushed from the iron dragon's maw, engulfing Ozymandias. Since it was just a game, there was no physical or spiritual harm, but one more hit – and Ritsuka would win.
"Ha-ha-ha! Excellent, boy."
Even on the verge of defeat, Ozymandias didn't lose his smile. Deadpool sensed something was wrong and prayed his worst fears wouldn't be confirmed. But, unfortunately, that's exactly what happened.
"My turn. I draw a card."
Ozymandias's triumphant smirk meant only one thing...
"Revival Spell!"
"And here I shall once again use 'Imperial Privilege.' With its help, all My guardians shall be resurrected!"
"Damn it! Is this 'Imperial Privilege' that overpowered a skill? What kind of cheating is this?!"
Deadpool and Da Vinci-chan were furious at Ozymandias's high-handedness, but what could they do? In his own temple, playing by his own rules, he spammed cheats as he pleased.
"It was fun, boy. But it was all in vain!"
With a satisfied look, Ozymandias announced the start of the attack.
***
Read the story months ahead of the public release — early chapters are available on my Patreon: Granulan