The streets of London greeted Ritsuka's group with a grim atmosphere. The thick fog and sinister night chill were reminiscent of a scene from a classic horror film.
"Mash, aren't you cold?"
Although winter hadn't arrived yet, the night fog made it quite chilly. Ritsuka, wrapping himself in a poncho, looked at his companion with concern.
"Senpai, I'm a Servant, so the cold hardly bothers me. Aren't you too cold?"
"Ah, I'm fine."
Ritsuka, with noticeable regret, decided against taking off his poncho. Apparently, he wanted to throw it over the shoulders of the girl who seemed completely defenseless against the dampness.
"Wait, where's Dedchu... I mean, Wade?"
"Eh? He was just here..." Mash looked around in confusion.
Deadpool (hereinafter referred to as Dedchu) was nowhere to be seen. Could it be that, like in Septemberium, he had been transported to some inappropriate place?
As soon as Ritsuka thought this, a spotlight, appearing from nowhere, suddenly flashed in the middle of the night street.
"Dedchu... I mean, Wade?!"
"Mr. Pool! What are you doing there?"
In the center of the spotlight was a tiny DJ booth, perfectly suited to Dedchu's size. Where did he even get it?
"Can't you see for yourself?" Dedchu, cockily tilting his snapback cap, lounged behind the console. Touching the equipment, he literally blew up the silence of the sleepy street.
"This is London! And London is, damn it, Lon-Don Night!"
Behind him, fireworks sparks scattered, the bass hit his ears, and multi-colored spotlight beams swept across the facades of the houses.
"Tunz-tunz! Waka-waka-waka! Ao-bara-ku-ku! Um-chit-um-chit, o-ho, o-ho, o-o-ho!"
Dedchu ecstatically beatboxed directly into the microphone, accompanying his actions with eccentric movements. Ritsuka and Mash stood in complete stupefication, watching this solo concert.
"O-e! Citizens of London! This is Lon-Don Night from Deadpool! Kung-chak, kung-chak. Waka-boom! What a wonderful night. Let's make some noise!!"
Unbeknownst to them, people began to gather to the sounds of music. They gathered around the improvised stage and started to dance.
"And this worked? Seriously?" Ritsuka couldn't believe his eyes.
"Senpai, it seems he's managing to create a surprisingly energetic beat," Mash remarked.
Indeed, the rhythm of the DJ set strangely compelled the body to move. Without realizing it, the two companions had already begun to quietly tap their feet to the beat.
"And now – a spe-e-e-cial number! A song perfectly suited to these gloomy London streets! The immortal classic from King Michael Jackson! Thriller, let's go!"
Dedchu jumped off the stand and froze before the crowd, barely visible in the fog. On his shoulders, he inexplicably had the legendary red leather jacket.
"Because this is Thriller! A thriller night! ♪ You're trapped in terror, and there's nowhere to run! ♪ Zombie Dance!"
As if on command, people lined up in neat rows behind Dedchu and began to perform the zombie dance in unison.
Outstretched arms, jerky movements, a clumsy gait to the rhythm of the steps – five steps left, five steps right, a sharp lunge to scare an imaginary spectator.
"Because this is Thriller! A thriller night! ♪ You're fighting for your life inside a killer, Thriller! ♪"
The street concert was in full swing. Ritsuka and Mash had completely relaxed and were enthusiastically clapping their hands, singing along with Dedchu.
"And this is Thriller! Hop! ♪"
To the sinister background laughter that crowned the finale, "Lon-Don Night" came to an end.
"Bravo!" Ritsuka, completely charmed by the performance's energy, applauded sincerely.
"Senpai, we're here to find the Grail, right?" Mash was the first to come to her senses.
If not for her, Ritsuka risked completely dissolving into Deadpool's mad fun. Shaking off the enchantment, he shifted his gaze from the smug mercenary to the people frozen next to the stage.
"Um, these guys are acting a bit strange, don't you think?"
"These aren't people... they look like mechanisms."
Through the thick fog, it became clear how the lifeless, limp figures began to slowly, jerkily close the distance to Dedchu.
"O-e-e! That went well. Lon-Don Night should only be held in its homeland. That's it, I'm done, let's disperse. Just don't forget to chip in fifty pounds each for watching a masterpiece!"
"Wade!!" Ritsuka shouted, seeing that he didn't notice the danger.
Deadpool, about to demand payment, tilted his head up in confusion, looking at the "spectator" who had approached him closely.
"Mr. Pool! These aren't people!" Mash shouted.
At that moment, the fog cleared slightly, revealing the true appearance of those who had just danced at his show.
"Bi... bi-ka, bi-ka?"
Clockwork dolls. With frozen faces and unnaturally twisted joints, they advanced towards him. Instead of hands, sharp steel needles extended from their forearms.
"Watch out!"
"Oh, for fu-u-u-ck's sake!"
The dolls simultaneously lunged at him. The sharp spikes whizzed past Dedchu by millimeters, embedding themselves in the pavement thanks to his incredible reaction.
"And I thought they danced so coolly! U-a-a-a!"
With a single leap, Dedchu jumped into Ritsuka's arms. Ritsuka barely withstood the mercenary's weight and immediately called for Mash. The girl swung her huge shield, smashing the nearest doll to pieces.
"Senpai, we need to retreat."
"Understood."
There were only five or six opponents, but it was difficult for Mash to fight at full strength: her main priority remained protecting Ritsuka.
"They're coming, they're coming!"
The dolls moved frighteningly fast. Jumping to an incredible height, one of them tried to pierce Ritsuka, but Mash took the blow on her shield and forcefully pushed the enemy away.
"We're surrounded!"
Despite the powerful blows, the dolls' maneuverability exceeded all expectations.
"Senpai! Quickly behind me..."
"Damn it. If that's the case, I'll have to fight in this body. Mash, protect the kid. I'll go show them who's the OP here!"
Deadpool drew his tiny swords and rushed at the dolls. They swung their needles, but couldn't hit the nimble rodent.
"Oh, this body form isn't so bad!"
True, due to his short paws, his blows only left scratches on the mannequins' faces. His attempt to get a pistol also failed – even a regular barrel was too heavy for him now.
"Here goes nothing!" Dedchu assessed the situation. Against him – clockwork dolls with piercing weapons. A sly grin spread across his rodent muzzle.
"Hai-ya-a!"
Dedchu stuck directly to the face of one of the dolls. It desperately tried to shake him off. At that moment, another doll struck with a spike towards the mercenary.
"Be-be-be!"
Dedchu nimbly jumped onto the head of the next target, and the first doll's spike crunched into its partner's head. Dark oil splattered onto the pavement, and gears fell out.
"If you don't have teeth, use someone else's!" Dedchu darted between the enemies, making them attack each other.
Being primitive machines incapable of complex target analysis, the dolls struck their own without hesitation if the enemy was too close to an ally.
"And for the finale – off with your head! Hear the evening bell toll... ah, damn."
Dedchu's tiny sword finally severed the last doll's neck. As the mannequin's head rolled on the ground, Dedchu took out his phone and took a selfie.
#Deadpool #LonDonNight #ClockworkDolls #1to1Figure #F***ableOrNot #IDTapThat.
While he was fiddling with hashtags, Mash finished off the remaining robots on her side without much difficulty.
"Good job, Mash."
"Not at all, Senpai... I just wanted to protect you..." the girl lowered her gaze shyly.
"Alright, enough of this London romance, let's get to a safe pla-..."
Dedchu, perched on Mash's shoulder, couldn't finish speaking – something huge landed behind her with a heavy thud.
"Mash! Watch out!"
Ritsuka screamed, and Mash, turning around, saw a massive mace studded with rotating gears.
"Block!"
On Dedchu's advice, she raised her shield, but the heavy mechanical weapon delivered a crushing blow to her side.
"Guh!"
From the powerful impulse, Mash flew to the side and crashed into the wall. Dedchu, unable to hold on, rolled head over heels on the pavement.
"Mash!!"
Ritsuka rushed to her. Fortunately, her Demi-Servant status saved her from serious injury, but the blow was so powerful that the girl gasped, desperately gasping for air.
"Senpai... I'm fine," Mash got up with difficulty, adjusting her grip on the shield.
Before them loomed a steam robot – a machine much larger and more dangerous than the clockwork dolls.
"First dolls, now steam robots? Is this Fate/Grand Order or Super Robot Wars?! Damn it!" Deadpool cursed, shaking his head. Looking at the steam escaping from the monster's joints, he didn't hide his irritation.
"It's coming again, Senpai!"
The robot assumed a combat stance and, using a steam jet for acceleration, rushed towards Mash.
First swing – Mash foresaw it and took it on her shield. Then the second blow – from the resonant collision, the shield vibrated but held.
"Ha-a-a!"
Mash went on the counter-attack. Pushing aside the mace, she made the robot lose its balance and tried to knock it over with her shield.
However...
"Oh!"
The robot's free hand caught the edge of the shield. Its red lenses flashed, and it forcefully threw the girl away. Without giving her time to recover, it delivered a powerful punch directly to her torso.
"Mash!"
Then the mace descended on her back.
With a short cry, Mash collapsed to the ground.
"No! Mash!"
"Hey, kid, stop! Where are you going?! It's dangerous!!"
Ritsuka lunged forward. Deadpool tried to intercept him, but the guy had already covered the fallen girl.
"...Elimination..." the robot rasped. Its ocular lenses flashed red, and it mercilessly raised its mace over Ritsuka's head.
"RITSUKA-A-A!!"
As if in response to Deadpool's scream, a scarlet flash streaked across the sky. It cleanly severed the robot's manipulator along with its weapon.
"Al-alive!"
"What was that? Did I become a Sith?"
While Deadpool was in confusion, a silver sword with a scarlet pattern pierced the ground in front of Ritsuka.
"Ho-oh. Heard the noise, peeked in, and what fun without me. Not good, guys!"
The voice sounded clear but audacious. Its owner turned out to be a knight in silver armor with a shock of disheveled golden hair tied in a ponytail.
"A knight?"
"A Servant?!"
While Ritsuka and Deadpool blinked in surprise, the knight landed before them in a single leap.
"Hey, kid. You're cool, though you're a rare fool. If I hadn't arrived in time, you would have turned into bloody mince along with her, you get it?!"
Without waiting for an answer, the knight, with a defiant smirk, pulled the sword from the ground and pointed it at the robot.
"In short, relax. I, Mordred, the Knight of Treachery, will now dismantle this tin can!"
Mordred confidently gripped the hilt, baring his teeth in anticipation of battle.
"Wooooow... What a show-off, I'm gonna cum. Honestly, I'm a little... no, wait...," Dedchu squeezed his eyes shut. "...Yeah, I really shat myself from excitement."
***
Read the story months ahead of the public release — early chapters are available on my Patreon: Granulan