"I'm fine. Why would anything be wrong with me?"
Homura waved a hand dismissively.
"Hiruzen, you don't need to worry. I've already figured it out—the readers just don't have good taste. You can see how excellent the story is, right? After all, both you and I are in it. They can't appreciate it now, but they will in the future. I'm not bothered. Next week I'll give them something simple enough for their tiny brains."
He turned and walked out.
Hiruzen stared after him in stunned silence.
So the main character is supposed to be Homura? And I'm in the story too? Where the hell am I?
And this story is… good? Something I should be able to appreciate?
No. Hiruzen couldn't appreciate a single page of it. The story was flat, self-important, and boring as hell.
He shook his head.
"Homura… since you said you'll fix it, we'll see what happens next week."
Hiruzen wasn't ready to fire him yet. He'd give the man a few more chances. Still, the first issue of the Konoha Weekly was already a running joke across the entire ninja world—especially when stacked next to the Sand Village's far superior paper.
Danzo had seen right through the story the moment he read it. He also heard the brutal public reaction and couldn't stop smirking.
"That idiot Homura," he muttered with vicious satisfaction. "Turning his own pathetic life into a novel and actually thinking people would like it? What a joke. If you have no talent, don't force yourself into jobs you can't do."
Almost everyone who read the Konoha Weekly had the same reaction—especially those who also had the Ninja World Big Events Weekly in their hands. They tore the Leaf's paper apart and called it worthless.
Yagura glanced at it once and tossed it aside.
"Garbage."
The Fourth Raikage was thinking bigger.
"If we had moved faster we could've squeezed both Konoha and the Mist for huge gains. Now the Sand Village took everything. It's fucking annoying. The Mist got a Byakugan. The Sand got massive reparations. What did Cloud get? Nothing. I want a Byakugan too… and Sharingan wouldn't hurt either."
His eyes narrowed.
"Since Danzo is already collecting Sharingan for experiments, he must believe he can get something valuable out of them. Maybe it's time Cloud reached out to the Uchiha clan directly."
In Iwagakure, Onoki set the Konoha Weekly down with a sigh.
"Father, that story is awful. No tension at all. The Leaf's paper is a total failure."
Onoki shot his son a disappointed look.
"Kurotsuchi, that's not the point. The story is trash, yes—but the fact that Konoha is even making a newspaper proves they finally understand how powerful this tool can be. The Sand Village is already ahead of everyone. We can't let them own all the influence. Iwagakure needs its own paper too."
Kurotsuchi straightened up.
"Father, let me handle it. I'll give it everything I've got."
Onoki studied his son for a long moment. He was still disappointed in the boy, but blood was blood.
"Fine. But this is important. Don't rush blindly. If you don't understand something, come ask me immediately."
"Yes, Father!"
Back in Konoha, Homura was once again pulling his hair out over the story problem.
"I need something simple. Something these idiots can actually understand. How the hell did the Sand Village pull it off? We have way more talent than them, yet we can't find one decent writer."
An idea suddenly struck him.
"What if I just… buy stories from that Sand author?"
His eyes lit up. It wasn't a bad plan. The Ninja World Big Events Weekly only came out once a week. The author "Kagetsu" probably had plenty of free time. Now that Konoha and the Sand Village had signed a peace treaty, there was no reason they couldn't do business. Fair trade. No security risk.
"Let's do it."
When the request reached Sunagakure, Rasa stared at the message with an amused, slightly disgusted expression.
"Homura Mitokado wants to buy stories from my author?"
He let out a short laugh.
"That old fool actually has the balls to ask. Dream on."
Rasa had zero interest in selling anything to Konoha. Even if he had dozens of better stories in his head, the money Homura was offering was pathetic. Those stories were worth far more to the Sand Village than whatever pocket change the Leaf wanted to throw at him.
"Reject it. Tell him to keep dreaming."
He leaned back in his chair, eyes narrowing.
"Now… I wonder when that forged suicide note will surface. If Obito Uchiha gets his hands on it, he and Danzo are going to have a very bloody conversation."
Rasa smiled coldly. He hoped both of them would destroy each other. Neither was worth keeping around.
That night, after everyone else had gone to bed, Rasa slipped into his third-floor study and pulled out the one-day experience card.
"The Hozuki clan and the Taketori clan are too risky. Let's try the Hoshigaki clan instead. It's tiny—just a handful of relatives, not even a real ninja clan. Should be safe. Besides, Kisame Hoshigaki is one of the people I demanded from the Mist. If I slip into one of his relatives, maybe I can push him further away from Kirigakure… and closer to us."