Lord Kaldric froze. His breath was an uneven, a hot hiss against my skin. His teeth pressed together hardly as an indication of controlling his losing composure.
For a heartbeat, he didn't move, his weight still crushing the air from my throat. His large body hovering over mine, keeping me trapped under him before his head lowered.
Slowly, he pulled back.
He glanced down at me, at my bound hands, my tear-streaked face, and the marks his lips had left on my neck and sheer fright glistening in my eyes.
A flash of horror crossed his features, so quick I almost missed it, before it was replaced by a cold, dead mask of stone.
He reached down, his fingers fumbling with the leather cord around my wrists.
He jerked it loose, tossing the cord into the corner as if it had burned him and held my wrist, rubbing it with his thumb that worsened the sting.
His hands had no idea how to be…. Gentle or soothing.
I winced. He let go instantly, looking in the other direction, gripping the cot that the metal creaked under his monstrous strength.
"Straighten your dress," he ordered, his voice devoid of any emotion at this point. "The King waits. We have a façade to maintain."
I sat up, my arms aching as the blood rushed back into my fingers, rubbing my hand together.
I looked at him, the man who took an oath to be a protector yet became the foundation of my pain. The man who swore to not love, and worse, resents me from the bottom of his heart.
We weren't husband and wife anymore.
When I saw nothing but misery awaiting us, I failed to endure the pain of it.
A sob gathered in my chest, a shattered thing that threatened to tear through my throat and alert the entire camp to the monster inside the tent.
But before the sound could escape, a large, calloused hand slammed over my mouth.
Lord Kaldric's face was inches from mine, his silver eyes narrowed with discontent.
"Silence," he hissed, the word a whip-crack.
"If you make a sound, if you tell a soul what passes within these walls, I will make the Earl's 'warmth' feel like a grave. Do you understand?"
I could only nod, my tears wetting his palm. He released me, but the ghost of his grip remained, scaring me endlessly.
"Fix your hair," he hissed, finally rising after regaining his heartless composure, "And hide those marks. We are leaving. Now."
The walk to the King's pavilion felt like a march to the gallows. I kept my head bowed, my hands tucked into my sleeves to hide the lingering tremors.
The soldiers watched us pass, their whispers following us like the rustle of dry leaves.
Inside, King Alaric sat at his heavy table, his expression unreadable.
His personal Knights stood to the side, eyes darting to me with a look of profound, silent worry.
"Commander," the King began, his voice dropping into a dangerous, low register.
"A scene was created in the center of my camp today. A Lady was hauled across the dirt like a common insurgent. Explain why I should not be insulted by this display of disorder."
I held my breath, certain the truth would finally shatter everything. But Lord Kaldric didn't flinch. He stepped forward, his posture the picture of a repentant, yet prideful, soldier.
"I absolutely agree, My Liege. The truth is a matter of a man's failing. Lady Ardelle has been... quite a distraction of late." Lord Kaldric said, his voice smooth and steady.
My Liege's brow furrowed, "Hmmm?"
He turned to look at me, a fake, heavy warmth in his gaze that made my skin crawl.
"She has been depriving me of herself with her duties to Lady Olivine, and I found my patience reached its limit. I am a man, after all."
He reached out, taking my cold hand in his and squeezing it, a warning disguised as an endearment.
"With such an angelic bride, Your Majesty, I simply failed to... resist. My hunger got the better of my discipline. I deeply apologize. It will not happen again."
The King's tension seemed to evaporate, replaced by a glint of masculine amusement.
"I suppose even the Obsidian Pillar has a crack when it comes to a beautiful woman."
He let out a short, dry huff of laughter.
"Very well, Kaldric. But keep your 'hunger' behind curtains. I will not have my vanguard distracted by your domestic appetites."
"I hear and obey, My Liege," Lord Kaldric bowed.
The moment we were outside the light of the King's pavilion, Kaldric dropped my hand as if it had become undesirable. The mask of the doting husband vanished, replaced by the coldness of the jailer.
We walked back toward our tent, the campfires casting long, flickering shadows on his armored back.
"You heard him," Lord Kaldric muttered, not looking at me.
"From this moment until we reach the capital, as long as we are outside that tent, you will play the part you were dying for. A wife." He ordered in a low, exhausted voice, stopping to turn at me.
"You will smile. You will stay close. You will look at me as if I am the sun and the moon." Was I not doing it before?
He paused at the entrance of our tent, the canvas flapping in the cold night wind.
"All eyes are on us now, Ardelle. If they suspect a rift, if the Earl hears a whisper of the truth, the King's favor will turn." He turned and started to walk away.
"And believe me... you do not want to see what happens to a Knight that is no longer useful."
"And when we are inside?" I whispered, my voice barely audible over the wind.
Lord Kaldric didn't answer. He simply pushed past the flap, leaving me alone in the dark.
He had just told the King he couldn't resist me, but as I followed him into the silence, I realized the truth was far worse, he couldn't stand the sight of me, especially not after what he did.
Inside the tent, the air was dead.
The performance for the King had ended, and the silence that followed was heavier than the obsidian armor Lord Kaldric began to strip away.
He didn't look at me. He didn't scold me. He moved with a dead, cold distance that felt like a slow-acting poison. My body quivering, stinging from the lingering affect of his touch.
That was not how I wanted his lips to greet my skin. It was burning and the worst part was I could not expect any apology either.
He lay on the cot, turning his back. I didn't- I couldn't go to the rug. I didn't want to be far, yet I couldn't bear to be near.
I sank to the ground, leaning my back against the frame of the cot, hugging my knees to my chest.
He knew I was beside him, his breathing pattern had changed but he didn't bother to acknowledge my existence. Resting my chin on my knee, my nail dug onto my skin, gritting my teeth.
"He was right," I called him in a weakened voice, hoping that now when his wrath had finally settled, he would actually listen to me.
"He was right about everything. Lord Kaldric is indeed harsh. He is cold, cruel, he is stubborn, and his words mostly hurt me" I whispered into the dark. My voice was a fragile thread, barely holding together.
My Lord shifted a little as my voice broke, my body trembled as the words I was about to speak with pride were converted into a statement of a prisoner.
"But, whatever, however he is; He is not my husband only, he is my world now. I find comfort in his shadows, even if they are harsh. I would rather have his silence than your poetry."
…. Silence.
Hoping to not infuriate him, I placed my hand over my mouth, shutting my eyes to murder the sobbing that threatened to escape my lips.
Yet after struggling, a broken voice left me.
"I don't want anything else, nothing better, nothing above, I just want my husband…."
I lowered my head more, hoping to hide myself from him but before I could scurry away, his hand rested over my head.
My eyes went wide, blinking in utter confusion as I found him staring at me. Not his usual heartlessness, rather an exhausted yet unfathomable gaze.
"I find it extremely hard to trust you, Ardelle, and not only you, everyone." he whispered, trailing the knuckles down from the top to my cheeks, wiping the tears away before stealing the warmth of two seconds.
"You are a creature of light, and I am a man who was taught that light only exists to reveal one's throat to the enemy." He continued, his eyes averting to the tent, curling his hand in a fist.
"Feelings are non-existent for me. I believe what I see. I don't know how to be anything but a Knight. I see and react the way I am taught." He explained, probably to make up for his previous actions.
Thinking the 'justification' would vanish the heaviness he created in his hollow chest.
"I am not a prisoner or a target, My Lord," I whispered back in the same tone, staring into the nothingness because magically when his knuckles wiped the tears away, they stopped flowing.
"I am just a woman who wants to be seen and trusted by her husband."
"Then you chose the wrong man," he spoke in a barely audible tone, turning his back to me once again, "Go to sleep, Ardelle."