Chapter 90 - ch 67-69

Chapter 67: Left BuriedNotes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Three golden eggs rest on the sandy bed. All beginning to crack open. Here they go again.

Pronoe clears their throat, sat behind the egg holding Eudora. "Right. Everyone…think of their hope and their wish."

And all eyes are on Bellatrix, Andromeda, and Narcissa.

Bellatrix folds her arms. "Really? Do you really want us making more wishes? You're the one with the forethought. So? Are we going for legs or tails here?"

Pronoe glances over at Thetis, held in Autonoe's arms. At Oreithye, trying to guard everyone whilst keeping an eye on egg-Kallianassa. At Leagore, steadying the egg holding Dexamene with their tail, and furiously writing everything down on a scroll, already looking tired. Agaue, hovering over their shoulder, watching intently. They might have to help out with the record keeping now with all the knowledge that needs to be preserved.

Pronoe sighs. "What shall be, shall be. Legs or tails, this shall be a busy time. It is your wish. Your gift. Think of what you truly want for the next generation of Blacks. Our descendants. Siblings."

Siblings. Babies. Innocents.

Oh.

Bellatrix sighs. Nods at her sisters and looks at the eggs.

She doesn't want them to be trapped in the lake. She hopes…their past selves had wanted legs so badly. Had wanted change. She wishes…

They were unhappy here. Didn't want to hide away. They had ambition. Wanted to make their way in the world. Kallianassa felt overshadowed by Thetis. She wants them to feel like they can be their own person. Loved, outside of their role. Have the world to explore. Take their cunning, and intelligence, and use it for a new start for these nymphs.

Eudora had been desperately grasping for acceptance too. Will they get that in the lake? Younger than all the others? They weren't very good at socialising. Seeing people. She wants them to find a place to belong.

Dexamene had been filled with hatred for wizardkind. She doesn't want that to continue. Wants them to feel safe amongst wizards. To learn about them. To not be scared…like she is of muggles. A new start. No fear. Understanding.

None of them should be trapped and hidden. They need more than just their siblings. These new Blacks deserve so much more.

And she doesn't want Thetis to be the only one with legs. The odd one out. That's bound to cause jealousy. Conflict. All the siblings should have equal opportunities. Be in it together. Face the world together.

She reaches for her sisters' hands. And waits. Still no babies.

Autonoe frowns. "They're taking longer than Thetis. Should we help them?"

Hmm. How do babies break out of eggs? They don't have beaks, or claws. How—

Oreithye reaches towards egg-Kallianassa, and hesitates. "Will this rob them of their strength? Does the struggle help them? Will it slow their magic to—"

"Dexamene is hatching!" Leagore shouts. "Before Kallianassa? It's too early! The birth order is—"

"And Eudora!" Pronoe announces. "Kallianassa must hurry, or they will lose their position as fourth in line. This has never—"

Thetis starts crying. The eggs all fall still.

Autonoe swims so that they're horizontal and rocks Thetis back and forth. "It's alright, Thetis. Kallianassa will be here soon. Don't cry. They'll be okay. They're strong. They're a Black. They—"

A crack slowly and silently opens up in the sand. Grows longer and wider. Oh no.

Bellatrix pulls Andy and Cissy behind her. "What is— is it Speio? They can't— Andy, Cissy. Close your eyes. Now!" she shouts.

She doesn't know if they have. Doesn't look behind her. But she—

Speio rises out of the—

It's — she can't breathe.

Not her not her not her

Ask for help. Just ask for—

She closes her eyes. "Speio, change forms. Please. Pronoe, tell them— they don't understand that—"

"What's this? What happened to the brave Kalypso? Perhaps I overestimated you, witch," Mother— no, Speio scoffs.

She hears Andy take a gasping breath, and feels two hands squeeze her arms. "No. Bella, no, I— I can't I— call Tiggy. Please, I—"

"Three of you?! You have allowed three witches at this sacred—!"

Bellatrix snaps her eyes open. "Change forms!" She growls. "You said we were kin. That you would not harm a Black. You're harming us. Scaring us. Change forms, or go back on your word and pay the price with death."

Speio just smirks. Sits down next to the eggs. "Weeaaknnesss," they sing-song. "These aren't Blacks. They're just poor imitations of us. Let them run away and hide. We've done well enough without Kalypso for centuries. She was not missed.

No no no. She isn't weak. She isn't— what if Andy runs away? What if Cissy closes up again? What if—

She doesn't want to be alone again. To take it all again. It's too much. And Thetis will be— there's another child— she needs to—

"Oreithye, Leagore, help us," she pleads. "We can't— Pronoe. Tell them to— make them— I can't—"

And Narcissa is suddenly in front of Bellatrix, wand drawn. "Speio, was it? I'd be very careful who you talk down to right now. You are very clearly outnumbered. And as you say. We are Blacks. We are not past violence. Especially against those who threaten our siblings."

What? No, Cissy don't—

Autonoe swims over and takes her hand. "They are one of us, Speio. They're Kalypso. We can all metamorph, just do it! Stop scaring them. We're all scared of something. It doesn't make us weak. Maybe you're too scared to change."

What is—

Leagore picks up egg-Dexamene and moves over to Autonoe's side, staring Speio down. "Autonoe is quite right. As is Bellatrix and Narcissa. These are Blacks you are threatening. By not changing form or accepting their presence, you are going against your word. Your promise. And if so, you bring shame to the Colony of Black."

Bellatrix can't even see Speio anymore, as more and more siblings surround her. Oreithye quickly taking their place next to Leagore, Kallianassa in their arms. She feels Andy hug her from behind.

Not alone. She's finally not alone. Doesn't have to protect— she's free to—

She turns around. Turns her back on everything and just hugs Andy instead. Ignores everything. Let's go of everything. This isn't her job. Her role. Finally. Finally, she doesn't have to do this anymore.

Andy holds her close and strokes her hair. Whispers to her. "It's over, Bella. It's all over. They're dead. They're gone. And they were never— nothing they ever said matters anymore. They didn't teach us anything. They failed. We're— we have our own family now. A real family. The world will forget all about them. We're the ones who survived. Lived. Changed the world for the better. You are doing amazing things, Bella. That's who you are. We're Blacks. Not them. They'll never be as strong as us. As you."

She pulls back. Cissy. Where's Cissy? Where—

Narcissa swims over. Slips her arms around both of their waists. "I'm right here. Andromeda is right. You don't have to do anything, Bella. It's over now. They're dead and buried. By me, by the way. And I buried them the muggle way. Cremated. Burnt them to ash. Tipped their remains into a muggle refuse centre with the festering waste. So long and good riddance to Cygnus and Druella Black."

A hysterical laugh bursts out of Bellatrix's mouth. She'd never thought about— so Cissy really— a muggle—

She looks at Cissy in almost fearful awe. She…

Cissy grins at her. And at Andy, who seems just as shocked.

"Really?!"

Narcissa nods. "Everything was muggle. For both of them. First mother, then father a few years later. It was at a church. A Christian service. I invited muggles from the town. The needy. Offered free food and beverages. I had two more, fabricated funeral for our Pureblood acquaintances of course. Lucius and Draco would have been suspicious. I invited the Parkinsons, Crabbes, Goyles, Zabinis, Notts etcetera. Buried the coffins in the crypt."

Fucking hell!

Andromeda splutters. "Then who the fuck is in the crypt?!"

Narcissa leans in. "Pigs. Polyjuiced pigs."

Pigs. Her parents were—

Her heart begins to pound. Everything goes blurry and—

"…la? Wha...lp…..athe."

Her ears are ringing. Everything is—

"…hatching!"

She needs to— she has to—

Tiggy. It's…

She's lying on a sofa. In the library. By the fire. And Tiggy is here.

"Hello," she croaks. "When did I…"

Tiggy hands her a bar of chocolate. "Tiggy be taking you home, Mistress Bella. You is needing to be resting. Not breathing in a magicky bubble. Is needing real breathing."

Oh. But— "But the eggs! What about—"

She tries to sit up. Tiggy clicks their fingers and about ten blankets thud down on top of her.

"Who is being Kalypso?" Tiggy asks.

Bellatrix frowns. "Uhh…me?"

Tiggy glares. "And?"

Oh. "And Andy. And Cissy."

Tiggy nods. Smiles. "So that is being that. Kalypso be at the lake. You be here. All be safe. All be well. Now, you be getting some sleep, Mistress Bella. You be seeing your sisters later. Tiggy be going to get them and bringing them home."

Bellatrix curls sideways on the sofa. Closes her eyes. Okay. Guess she is quite tired. She can relax now.

Now that it's over.

Buried. They're buried. Gone.

Bellatrix rolls over—

And falls off the sofa. Whoa shit!

And then hovers into the air before she can hit the floor.

What the fu—

Relashio! She lands in a crouch. Spins around, wand drawn and— oh. Cissy and Andy, dressed in robes again and walking over to her.

They must have— "Tails or legs?!" she says excitedly.

Andy grins at her. "We did it again, Bella. Legs."

No! Oh shit!

Andy nods. "And guess what else?"

There's more?

Cissy smiles. "Speio is to be reborn. They have entered the archives with Pronoe to discuss the timing. Seeing as Speio themselves decides the moment of death and rebirth, and that they shall not be able to do so again until they are of age, there is some debate as to whether they should wait until after Pronoe's death. But that shan't be for at least another ten years. We shall have to wait and see."

No more Speio?

"Fuck. That's a lot of eggs. So…Autonoe is looking after Thetis, Pronoe has Eudora, Leagore has Dexamene, Oreithye has Kallianassa…if Agaue looks after Speio...that's everyone! Shit. We really are gonna have to help out. Wait."

She jumps up onto the table. Starts pacing. "Andy…do you think…do you really think Dora and Lupin get together? Has she shown any…interest? Because…"

Cissy gasps. "You think Teddy…is one of the nymphs? Hidden?"

Bellatrix jumps onto a chair. "Or multiple nymphs! Metamorphosis. You could interchange them and just say it's the same kid!"

Andy flops into an armchair. "Oh. Shit. I don't know. I only just got my head round becoming a grandmother. It would be a fucking relief actually. I'm too young to— and so's Dora. Having a kid young is not fun, let me tell you. Well, you get it, Cissy."

Narcissa jumps onto the table.

Bellatrix and Andromeda just stare at her. Fucking weird.

Narcissa shrugs. "Practice. If I'm going to keep up with your boundless energy, Bella, I need to increase my level of fitness. And I think you are forgetting, Andromeda, that for a long time, Draco was the only happiness in my life. He was all I had. Once Bella was gone. And— and—"

Cissy sits down on the table. "And Lily."

Oh shit.

Bellatrix looks over at Andy, who has craned around to meet her eye. Wide eyes. Now? Are we getting the story now?

I don't know! Andy hisses excitedly. Should we ask her? Does she want us to ask?

What if we spook her? She might ice us out

Andy snorts. Or we find out how Evans melted her heart. I'm dying to know. When did this happen? How did it happen? How long—

"Just ask, Andromeda. I can practically read the questions on your face. You are as bad as Bella."

Yes!

Bellatrix sits down next to Cissy on the table. Leans against her. Supportive big sister. And fucking curious. Come on Andy—

"Tell us everything. From the beginning," Andy says softly, pulling up a chair.

Ooh. Bold move. That could backfire.

Cissy rests her head in her hands. "Everything? That may take a long time. But…I shall tell you some of it…"

Notes:

Okay guys, so I know this chapter was shorter than usual buuuut...

I'm posting another update very soon. Storytime. An extra long story.

And I know it's not the bellamione goodness we are all craving, but seeing as Hermione is missing...Narcissa/Lily anyone?

I've kept the chapter separate, as it's a kind of extra to this story. If it's not your thing, feel free to skip it.

But if you're dying to hear about Lily...the update should be coming shortly.

Chapter 68: Lily's InterludeChapter Text

Narcissa has found the perfect spot to hide. And it's only the second day of school, so she's rather proud of herself.

She'd slipped out of her room just before dawn, without any of the other girls noticing, and made it past the entrance doors without running into that disgusting squib Filch and his mangy old cat. Or wife. Narcissa can read his horrible thoughts. How strange he is. How perverse. Perhaps all squibs share some kind of mental deformity. She shall have to make a note of it if she ever meets another squib. She hopes not.

But that is beside the point. The point is…

Is that she needs a moment to think. Curled up behind a tree at the edge of the forest.

Alright. So not the best hiding spot.

She…she's very confused. Why didn't Bella tell her about— or Dromeda? It had been such a shock. Walking into class…reading all the thoughts in the room…

…And she couldn't tell who was a pureblood, and who was a mudblood! They all sounded the same! The same wants. The same fears. The same…everything!

Well, not everything. The mudbloods had all kinds of strange contraptions in their heads. They weren't used to quills, or parchment, or even robes! They'd never worn robes!

But their thoughts made sense. They weren't savages, or beasts. They just…knew of different writing implements. Different clothing. They weren't different beings at all! Just…a different culture. Like when she had visited France and been astonished at the differing etiquette. She had had to learn fast. Read a whole new set of rules and—

"Are you alright?"

Oh! How had she not heard another mind nearby?

Narcissa takes in the red-haired girl crouching in front of her, and hurriedly listens in…

I wonder if she's homesick too? She looks cold. Green robes? A slytherin! Like Sev! Maybe they can be friends. And she has a book. I wonder if she—

So she's friendly. Naïve. And missing home. Not a slytherin. Likes reading.

Play it safe. Smile. Ask her questions.

Narcissa smiles. "I'm fine, thank you. Are you a first year?" She'd normally introduce herself of course, but through an acquaintance. This girl could be anyone! Best she doesn't know Narcissa's name.

The girl sits down opposite her in the dewy grass. Doesn't seem to care that it's wet. "Yeah, I just got here. This place is amazing. I can't believe it's real! I keep pinching myself to check it isn't a dream. Look."

She rolls up her sleeve and shows Narcissa her arm. There are some red patches.

Oh dear. She's hurting herself? And she— oh. Oh, she's surprised by Hogwarts. And…she has strange clothes under her robes.

Oh no.

She's sat with a mudblood. Talking to—

And the girl winds a scarf around Narcissa's neck.

"There. That's better. How long have you been out here? You look frozen to death. And I thought I got up early. I don't normally. My sister Tuney always has to drag me out of bed. Calls me a lazy-bones…I think that's what was strange, this morning. Not having her there. The other girls are nice, but…not the same as a sister."

Oh. So that's why she's homesick. She misses her sister. Narcissa knows what that's like. Remembers the first time Bella left for school. How much she'd wanted to cry.

She hadn't. She's not allowed to cry. Weakness.

And then when Dromeda left too…

No. She doesn't want to think about that.

"I have two sisters," she says. Just to say something. Whilst she sorts out…her…thoughts…

Maybe she could have another look.

She searches out the other girl's mind.

Maybe she's shy. She's very quiet. But that might be because you never shut up, Lily. Not everyone talks for England. What is she reading? That isn't a first-year textbook. Lily wishes she could read upside down better. Advanced…something. Well, she must be clever then. Maybe she can help with—

Ah. So that's what she wants. Tuition. Well. Narcissa isn't going to give over all of her hard-earned knowledge to some mudblood that only found out about magic this year.

And what is Narcissa doing?! She should have left as soon as she'd realised this wasn't the right sort of witch. And given back her scarf! A Gryffindor scarf! How dreadful!

Narcissa stands up, takes off the scarf, folds it, and lays it on the ground for the girl to pick up. She doesn't want to accidentally touch her! If anyone heard that she was even in the vicinity of a mudblood then she shudders to think what would happen.

She clears her throat. "I must be going now. Goodbye."

And she quickly walks back towards the castle. Very quickly. She doesn't run of course. She'd never do such a thing. Running is only necessary when—

"Wait up! Hey, book girl! You forgot your book!"

She freezes, torn. The mudblood touched the book. But she has only just started it. And it's not a library book. It's hers. Oh no. It has her name in it.

And the girl catches up. Ran, of course. No sense of decorum.

Or privacy! She's opened it!

Narcissa holds out her hand and glares at the girl. "Give that back. You're getting it all filthy and disgusting with your hands."

The girl frowns at her. "I washed my hands this morning, I promise. And I was bringing it back. I just wanted to see what it was about. What's legilimency?" she holds it out for Narcissa to take. Which she does. With the tips of her fingers.

And keeps her face blank, even as she wants to grin. To laugh. The irony. 'What's legilimency?', she naively asks the legilimens.

"A subject far too advanced for someone like you," she smirks. She's made up her mind. This is a Gryffindor. A mudblood. No need to be friendly.

Oh. That was mean. So she doesn't want to be her friend. It would have been nice to have another friend. Someone who understands what it's like to be homesick. Who feels left out. And she has a flower name. Lily and Narcissa. Flowers remind Lily of home

Narcissa feels an aching in her chest, and ignores it. Pushes the feeling deep inside herself. Hides it away. She doesn't need a friend. And she doesn't feel left out.

And she definitely doesn't miss home. She doesn't have a home to miss. Only her sisters. And they're here. She should be happy.

Why isn't she happy?

"And Miss Black shall be partnered with…Miss Evans. Yes. Quite the even match," Flitwick smiles.

Even?! And just when she was considering that his goblin blood had not altered his mental prowess. How on Earth is a mudblood on par with her?! Not just a pureblood, a Black!

Evans sits down next to her. "Hey, book girl. Or should I call you sulky girl? Glaring girl?"

Narcissa glares. And then stops glaring, because that's just what Evans wants. Tries not to show any expression at all. "You know my name. You may use it, rather than waste what little mental energy you have on inventing yet another nonsensical nickname."

Evans grins at her. "Okay. Narcissa then. Let's get a wiggle on, Narcissa. Everyone else has already started.

Get a…wiggle…what?

And wait a moment. She did not intend for them to be on a first name basis! How did that happen?

Evans leans in closer. Looks right into her eyes. Emerald green eyes, filling her vision. Narcissa freezes.

"Hello? Anyone in there? You're doing that thing where you leave your body again."

Leaves her body? Again? How does Evans know about that? That's never happened at Hogwarts. She's been here for two months now, and she's never frozen. Never lost herself.

Oh. But she is forgetting to form a facial expression. So that is what she means.

She relaxes her face. Tuts. "I have not gone anywhere. And neither have you, it seems. Why haven't you collected our mouse, if you are in such a hurry?" That must be what the wiggle phrase meant. It can't involve actual wiggling.

Evans points her wand across the room. "Here's a spell I just learnt for that. Accio mouse!"

No! What is she doing?!

She knocks Evans' arm down before she can complete the wand movement. "Stop! You'll have dozens of mice flying at us if you aren't careful! You cannot just say 'accio mouse' and not imagine the one that you want!"

Evans turns to her, wide-eyed. "Really?! I didn't know that! Oh thank you, that would have been a disaster! Flitwick would have taken so many points if— I'll go get one. You just sit tight."

Sit tight?

Sit...still?

Evans laughs at her. "That doesn't mean freeze. It just means stay here. I don't think you could sit tighter if you tried. You need to loosen up, Lucy goosey."

Narcissa folds her arms and glares. She just has to glare now. "Everything you say is nonsensical. You're in our world now. Speak like us."

Evans just laughs again. "That's not loosening!" She sing-songs.

And then skips off for the mouse.

Hmm. Narcissa needs to work on her glare. It is obviously nowhere near intimidating enough.

"Narcissa! Catch!"

What? Oh!

She does catch it. So it won't hit her in the head. What is…

A present?

And Evans looking down at her from the floor above. "Merry Christmas! Or Yule, do you call it Yule? Sorry for just dropping in, but I haven't finished packing. I'm gonna miss the train at this rate. Anyway, Sirius told me you're staying here so—"

Will she stop shouting like that?! Everyone is watching! And listening! And why did she even get her a gift? They're not friends.

She hurries up the staircase, considering just casting a silencio at the witch. What if Bella hears? If she finds out she's on speaking terms with a mudblood then…well that just can't happen!

She's almost running at this point. How embarrassing. She can't even bear to check the surrounding thoughts. What everyone is thinking about her. About them. They're a them now.

And pulls Evans into an alcove. Thrusts the gift back at her. "What is this? Why are you doing this?"

Evans just smiles. "Well if I tell you, it won't be a surprise, will it?"

That isn't what she'd meant! And—

Some of Evans' hair brushes over Narcissa's shoulder as she moves closer. Moves closer and—

Is hugging her. Why? Why is she…

Push her away. Shout at her. You're a Black! Hex her! Stab her!

"Have a lovely Christmas, Narcissa. I have to go now. But I'll write to you, if you'd like? And you can write to me. You will probably have some questions about your present."

Evans pulls back. Moves to walk away. Why…

She has to get a closer look at Evans' mind. She just cannot understand her at all.

…And left everything in the bathroom! She at least needs to nab her toothbrush, and find some money for the trolley. Last time all those strange coins were right at the bottom of her trunk and she couldn't get to them. And she couldn't ask poor Sev for money. Galleons. That's what they're called. And knuts and…something else

Oh. She's not even thinking about Narcissa at all.

And they're called sickles. It's not that hard to remember that there's seventeen sickles in a galleon.

Although, muggle currency…she has to admit…is perhaps…more logical.

She can't believe she just thought that. Admitted that. She's almost shaking at the thought. But she can't deny it. Which means muggles are better at something.

She quickly boxes that thought up and hides it away. Deep in her mind.

And Evans is about to leave. Waving goodbye to her as she heads down the corridor.

Narcissa just has to ask. "Why are you being nice to me?"

Evans frowns at her. "Why?" She shrugs. "I think you're funny. Nobody else does. I don't get it, really. Guess I just like talking to you or something. That's all. Is that so strange?"

"Yes," Narcissa blurts out.

Nobody thinks she's funny. Except maybe Bella, but that doesn't count. Everyone laughs at their little siblings. Evans must be strange to think Narcissa is funny.

And to want to talk with her. Narcissa has never said anything nice to the witch. Perhaps that's why. Perhaps she's a masochist.

Well then. Let's try to scare her off by being nice. "Thank you for the gift, Lily, that was ever so nice of you," she smiles. "And I'm so sorry I haven't got you anything in return. I should have. You're always so kind to me."

There. That should do it.

And Evans does look unsure. Fiddles with her sleeves. It's peculiar, actually, to see her loss of confidence. She's always so…bright. Loud. Vibrant. Warm.

Narcissa's stomach flips. She's not quite sure why. Some kind of anticipation.

And Evans just sighs. "Don't do that, Narcissa. Please?"

Oh. How did she see through that so easily?

Oh no. No no no, has she forgotten how to hide? How to read people? She can't even hide herself from a mudblood! What if— she hasn't been practicing. She's been letting herself feel things. Show herself. She's let her guard down. She shouldn't have—

Evans walks away.

It doesn't hurt. This was her plan all along. To scare her away.

It doesn't hurt. It doesn't.

She can't feel anything.

No no no no no

Narcissa skids into the third-floor bathroom, not even caring that she's running. Or that the floor is wet and disgusting. She just has to hide somewhere. Has to make it into a stall before…

Too late. Everything is closing in.

She steadies herself on a sink. Stares at herself in the mirror. Feels a numbness taking over her hands. Her arms. Everything gets quiet. Silent.

It's happening again. And all because…

Because…

She leaves the outside world behind. Goes into her mindscape. Closes everything else off.

So that she isn't at Hogwarts. She isn't hiding away like a pathetic mess in a bathroom.

And she didn't— she doesn't—

She'd missed Lily Evans.

The first day back after Yule…and Narcissa had walked into charms class…and been happy to see her. She even—she'd hoped they'd be partnered together again. And was disappointed when she was paired with Lupin instead.

She hadn't even listened to Flitwick at all. For the entire lesson. Just focused on stopping herself watching Evans. Lily. She wants to call her Lily.

No no no

She backs away further into her mind. Deep, deep down. Far away from everything. No thoughts, no fears, just numbing cold. Buried away. Where nothing can touch her. Where no one can break in.

And she stays there. Hours could have passed. Days. But she doesn't notice. Doesn't feel anything. Just numb.

"…Cissy? Come on, it's me. It's just me. No one else is here."

Dromeda?

"…Whatever it is, it's gone now."

Narcissa cautiously comes out of her mind. Watches the world come back into focus. Oh. A bathroom? When had she…

Andromeda hugs her. She tries to pull away, but she's still too numb. Too weak.

She isn't a baby. She doesn't need hugs or comforting.

"What happened, Cissy?"

But…maybe she does need Dromeda to hold her up. Just whilst she…collects herself.

Wait. But she's not supposed to love Andromeda anymore. She's a traitor. No one else knows yet, but Narcissa knows. She saw. Andromeda's…

In love with a mudblood. Muggleborn. Mud— Edward Tonks. She'd looked into his head. He loves her sister. He…

Seems nice. Much nicer than some of the slytherin boys. They're cruel. Controlling.

She supposes she's lucky to be betrothed to Lucius Malfoy. He's ambitious, and arrogant…but not sadistic. He doesn't delight in suffering, like some of the others. Andromeda is promised to Avery.

He's almost as bad as father.

She feels Dromeda kiss her cheek. "Come on. Let's go somewhere a bit more comfortable. Have a little chat. You can come into the sixth-year dorm and sit in my bed. I'll tell old sluggie that you're feeling unwell. Witch troubles."

Witch troubles? What does Dromeda know? How does she know about Lily and…oh. She means menstrual problems. Bodily…how revolting. She doesn't want Slughorn thinking that of her.

"…and I think Bella is free as well if you want—"

"No!" Narcissa shouts.

It echoes around the thankfully empty corridor. When did they leave the bathroom?

She hooks her arm through Dromeda's and leans to whisper in her ear. "Don't tell Bella. Please. She won't…understand this."

Andromeda stops. Looks at her properly. Narcissa feels the need to close up again. Perhaps she should. Just hide away again and never come out. Never have to face…these strange feelings.

Andromeda throws an arm over her shoulder in a most unladylike way, and they continue down the corridor. Down the stairs towards the dungeons.

She cannot tell Bella. What on Earth would she think? Everything about Lily Evans is…she goes against everything…

She's a mud— mug— she's not a pureblood. And she's a Gryffindor. She's a witch.

Oh. Oh but Bella likes witches. She knows her sisters. Has learnt to read them in an instant. She's seen the way Andromeda looks at Tonks. And Bella doesn't look at Lestrange like that. She doesn't look at any wizards like that. Her sister isn't subtle. Doesn't hide. Narcissa hasn't actually seen Bella…admiring another witch.

But Snape has. She'd noticed how uncomfortable Snape suddenly was around Bella. She'd looked into his mind. Slipped past his flimsy walls. He only began learning legilimency this year, and it shows.

And she saw the memory of Bella and Rita Skeeter in the broom cupboard. Obviously rather inebriated, but still very actively…anyway. It confirmed her suspicions. Bella likes witches.

And she blinks back to reality at the sound of curtains being drawn shut around Dromeda's bed.

"There. Now no one can see us, or hear us. It's just me, Cissy. And I won't tell Bella if you don't want me to, whatever it is. So tell me. Tell me what's going on."

What is going on?

Something is wrong with her. She's followed all the rules, learnt all the lines, followed every step. Perfectly. She's figured everything out. Exactly how to behave. She knows what everyone wants of her. Expects of her. And exactly how to do it. Her whole life is going exactly as planned.

And she's finally free. She's finally at Hogwarts. Five years alone in that house, and she's made it. Her plans succeeded. She survived. Protected herself.

So why does she feel more vulnerable now than she's ever been? Why does she feel…like everything so far has been a dream, and she's only just woken up?

Why does she want to break the rules? Break out of her role? Ignore the lines…walk across the stage…and talk to Lily. Go of script. Ruin the whole play, and not care. Play the fool.

Because Lily thinks she's funny. And she might smile at her.

Narcissa's hiding again. Second year, and she's back at the edge of the forest. Nothing has changed.

And everything has changed. Andromeda has left them. Been burnt from the tapestry. Ripped from the portraits. It's like she died. Like she never existed. Not even mentioned or—

Narcissa only has one sister now. She's learnt that lesson. Don't even think her name. If you see her in the corridor, ignore her. Look away. Keep walking.

One sister. One older sister, who isn't at Hogwarts anymore.

Bella has graduated. Is married. Even her name has changed. Bellatrix Lestrange.

And she is behaving strangely. She doesn't know what happened but…and she doesn't dare look in Bella's head. The darkness is seeping out of her. Narcissa is far too frightened to go into the source.

No, she just chooses her face wisely, shows the face Bella wants to see…and tries not to scream as she watches the only person who has ever protect her…slowly die away. Break into pieces.

"Narcissa?"

Lily. She came. She'd hoped she would come, but she wasn't sure.

She smiles at Lily. Tries to remember how to smile. How to really smile, and not just feign it.

Lily sits down next to her with a sigh. Leans against her. "What's up, buttercup? Because that smile just broke your face."

Oh dear.

She needs to fix that before classes start. And before she goes back to the dungeons. If a Gryffindor can see through her, then surely her housemates will. They know about Andromeda. Now is not a time to show weakness. She's chosen her side. They've all chosen their sides.

Except right now. Sat in no man's land with Lily.

She takes a slow breath. "Can we just sit here, Lily? Can we talk about something else? Anything? Even…whatever you want. Just don't ask me any questions. Please."

Lily takes her hand, and Narcissa thinks her heart might explode. She feels it, detonate in her chest with a thud.

"Okay. I'll tell you about my summer. You might not understand some of it, but I'll try to explain. Remember the book I gave you for Christmas?"

Yes. It's hidden at the bottom of her trunk. Disguised as a Herbology textbook. The Secret Garden. A spoilt rich girl, whose parents die, leaving her in the care of her uncle. Unwanted. Left to her own devices in an expansive manor house, cold and alone and disgusted by all of the inferior servants who do not treat her as highly as she deserves.

At first Narcissa had been offended. Is she the spoilt rich girl? Screaming and wailing and unable to dress herself? All the servants laughing at her for her childish behaviour? Is that what Lily thinks of her?

But then the girl begins to change. Learns about this new home. Befriends the gardener, and his apprentice. A farm boy.

And the girl discovers that she has a cousin. A boy, hidden away in the house, believed to be gravely ill. Unable to walk, to leave his bedchamber. His ailment treated only with agonising ice baths.

And Narcissa had begun to wonder…is Narcissa the boy? Trapped and alone? Unseen? Hidden away, for her own protection? Alive…but not really living? Separate from the world?

And is Lily the girl? Who comes into this dreary place…and brightens it up, with her unwavering determination? Goes into the boy's room. Tears down the thick curtains and lets the sunlight in. Takes him outside. To a secret garden. Full of flowers. Shows him that he can walk, if he tries. Run. Play. Laugh.

Narcissa hesitantly squeezes Lily's hand. Lily smiles at her. "I'm taking that as a yes. Well, Tuney and I thought we should plant our own garden. Full of flowers, like us! Lilies, and petunias. Tulips. Daisies. I planted some daffodils for you too, even though Grandad said they grow best in spring. They were doing okay when I left, so I hope…"

Narcissa just listens. Closes her eyes, and leans against Lily.

Just as she'd thought. Lily is the girl.

James Potter. What's so special about him? Lily hated him last year.

Narcissa has looked into his head of course. And he is…slightly less arrogant than in previous years. Ever since the accident with Lupin and Severus. The werewolf incident.

Which she has kept to herself. She'd considered it…and it had largely been Sirius' fault. Lupin has managed his lycanthropy very well over the years. And she…feels bad for his suffering. His quiet acceptance of pain. He's no monster, and shouldn't be treated as such. It will be hard enough once he leaves Hogwarts, he should at least get an education. Have these years with his friends.

But yes. It seems the incident has scared Potter into maturity. Into considering that actions have consequences.

As if Narcissa hadn't learnt that lesson when she was four years old. Sirius' jokes are not harmless fun.

She still can't look at a frog without…

She fights away the nausea. Focuses back on the bubbling potion. Luckily she's been partnered with Severus. They could brew this in their sleep. He's even begun experimenting with their technique, crushing rather than slicing and so forth. Normally she would scold him for it…but she doesn't have the energy. And she…trusts him. He plans things. Thinks things through. Like she does.

And they've made a pact. Not to look into each other's heads. A quiet, secret alliance. They share information…and in return, leave each other off limits. Free to think around one another.

She doubts he could look into her head anyway, and she is certain he is aware of this. Using it to his advantage.

But it's nice to have a semblance of friendship. Especially now that she is going to have to…let Lily go.

Too much of a risk. Lily has already cut ties with Severus because of his connections. For his new so-called friendship with Avery and Mulciber. It appears Severus has chosen his side also. Off to the Death Eaters.

She isn't certain of his reasoning…but she thinks it has something to do with Lily. And power. He wants power. Acceptance. Status.

She'd never thought him so naïve. It's a bit disappointing.

But her choices of friendship are slim. He will have to do.

Friendship. As if she can kid herself that Lily is merely a friend. That Narcissa doesn't think about her every day. Have to force herself not to stare across the Great Hall at her every mealtime.

And that she isn't terrified of the moment Lily finally rejects her. Stops answering her owls. Asks her to stop hiding.

Because their friendship is still a secret. Narcissa made Lily promise, way back in second year. Told Lily what happened to Andromeda. Whispered it. Told her how alone she felt. How scared. How dangerous her family is, and that Narcissa won't be safe if they knew about Lily. She'd asked her to keep it a secret. From everyone.

And so far…Lily has understood. Writes her charmed notes. Sneaks out to see her. Pretends to just put up with her when they're partnered together in class, whilst thinking her true thoughts. They talk in their heads. She'd told Lily about her legilimency. Another secret for Lily to keep.

And now there's James Potter. Loud. Laughing. Sat next to Lily in the middle of the Great Hall.

He hasn't kissed her yet. But he's thought about it. And he will, she's sure. Perhaps the next Hogsmeade weekend.

Yes. Narcissa is going to have to let Lily go.

Narcissa hurries across the grass towards the Forbidden Forest, hoping desperately that Hagrid or Filch won't stop her. Spot her, even in her black cloak, in the dark. If she gets a detention for this then…

Lily peeks out from behind their tree. Beckons her over. She can't believe she's agreed to this. She'd promised to herself. No more talking to Lily. Seeing Lily. It's been three months. Narcissa has ignored her for three months. It's the last night before they graduate. She only had to make it one more night, and now…

She sits down next to Lily.

Lily smiles. "You came."

Narcissa sighs. "You asked."

Lily scoffs. Bats her in the arm angrily. Well. Not really angrily. Not really. Softly.

"I've been asking you to talk to me for months! And now you answer me? Right before we leave? You have really bad timing, you know. Bad planning skills."

Bad planning? She glares at Lily. "You are the one who came up with this hare-brained plan. Not even a plan. A last-minute rendezvous with nowhere to run or hide. No excuse as to why we are out of bed at midnight. In the Forbidden Forest, of all places."

Lily takes her hand and shrugs. "It's our spot. I missed you. Time was running out, and I didn't want to leave things like…this. I guess it was a bit mad. But all the best people are."

Alice in Wonderland. That's how Lily had felt when she arrived at Hogwarts. Like she fell down the rabbit hole.

And Narcissa can feel herself falling too. There's no stopping it.

She smiles. "I hope I'm not the mad hatter at this tea party."

Lily laughs, turns to face her. "So you did read it! Did it help you see how crazy magic was to me? What it was like to be in a different world?"

Narcissa shakes her head. "I already know what that's like. My world is turned upside down every day with you."

Oh no.

Oh why did she say that? She hadn't meant to say it like that. What if Lily finds out—

Lily leans in close to her. Looks in her eyes. Don't go. I still want to talk to you. Don't hide away from me

But that's what's so frightening. Lily wants her to open up. And she doesn't know if she can.

She has to keep a tight control over herself. She can't let herself slip. Not now. She has to box everything up, ready for her new life.

Mrs Malfoy. She is to be Narcissa Malfoy, and live at Malfoy Manor. She will hold lunches, and galas, and…tea parties. Oh dear. Yet another memory to wrap up tightly.

She will smile on the arm of her future husband. Have a child with him. She will have her own home, and her own elves, and her own social events. And that will be that. Her life.

She stares into Lily's green eyes. It's too dark to appreciate them properly. Not like in the sunlight, when they shine.

"You're not…angry with me?" Narcissa whispers.

Lily's forehead scrunches into a frown. "Why would I be angry?"

Narcissa barks out a disbelieving laugh. Hollow. "For a hundred reasons. I've ignored you. I act like you disgust me." She looks away. She can't look. Can't bear it. "I go along with all the other Slytherins and do not stand up for you when they insult you. I am on one side of the war, and you are on another. And I know that I am on the wrong side. The cruel side. The side of fear and hatred. And yet I am too weak to leave. To leave my sister. To do what is right. To fight for you."

She just can't stop talking now. It's like her mouth knows this is her last chance. The last time she will have a voice. The last shout before Narcissa Black is buried away forever. "You deserve someone better than me. Someone who will stand by you. Who isn't afraid. Who doesn't hide. All I do is hide and— so yes. Be angry at me. I deserve it. Shout at me, Lily. Tell me how despite all my careful plans…I've ruined everything! Because I should have planned to spend every day with you! Because I— I love you."

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck

Oh Salazar, someone just kill her. Right now. A swift avada kedavra straight to the heart.

And she's pulled into a warm hug. "Oh. You…love me? Like…like that? Really? I didn't know you…okay, let me think about this."

Oh.

…alright.

Narcissa just tries to remember to breathe. And resist the urge to look in Lily's head. Lily had made her promise. No more peeking except to talk.

She doesn't know what to do with her arms. Whether it's stranger to hug her back. If Lily will get the wrong idea…

She smells so nice. And now Narcissa is certain that the amortentia—

Lily pulls back. Oh gods. She hopes this doesn't destroy her. What if she freezes up entirely?

Lily opens her mouth to speak, but Narcissa interrupts her. It's awfully rude, but she has to. "Wait. I just need to tell you that…sometimes when I'm upset, this…something happens to me. If it does, if you feel suddenly…cold, like you cannot breathe, then you need to run, Lily. Far away. Don't stay with me. You'll get hurt."

Lily bites her lip. Shakes her head. "Cold? I won't run away, Narcissa. Not if you're upset. I'll just…warm you up. Talk to you. You won't hurt me. You've never hurt me."

But she—

"And anyway. That won't happen. You won't be upset, because I'm right here! Right here with you, no matter what. Always."

Always? So she's not disgusted? She won't leave? She still wants to be…friends?

Lily takes her hand again. "I…this is hard, Narcissa. I'm with James. We're moving in together. And you're engaged to Lucius. We…and I never even thought about…"

Lily looks at her shyly. "Sorry. I know I took a minute, but my head is still exploding. You're right about that whole turning upside down thing. It's like I never looked at you before! I mean I have, obviously, I look at you all the time. But not— oh, Narcissa! Why did this have to happen right— and I don't even know— oh I'm having a bit of a fucking crisis."

Narcissa laughs in disbelief as Lily fidgets. As she tucks her hair behind her ears. Ties it up. Lets it down. Sits cross legged and then kneels. Runs her hands over her face and groans. She's never seen Lily so unsure.

"Just remember to breathe. Your face is rather red," she teases. She has to tease. Has to smile. Has to be happy that at least she's not alone in this. Whatever happens, Lily is confused too.

And then her smile falls. She remembers the war. The reason that she's been separating herself from Lily.

Narcissa sighs. "I think we both know what is going to happen."

Lily looks up. "We do?"

Narcissa nods. Pushes her emotions deep into her chest. Hides them away. "We are at war. On opposing sides. I believe our time in the sun is over. Tomorrow, you shall go your way, and I shall go mine. The charade shall continue. Until this is all over… it's time to play our parts."

Lily shuffles closer to her. Brushes some hair out of Narcissa's face. "You're sure? You…you don't want to escape? Do what— what your sister did? Leave?"

Oh she wishes she could. That she was strong enough for that. But she doesn't have a Ted Tonks. Lily has James. They'll be safe together. Happy. A bright, happy life.

She strokes Lily's cheek. "I have two sisters. And the other one needs me more. I'm not leaving her alone. Bella's lost, Lily. I need to be there for her when she…wakes up. I'll wait. I'll be fine. Forget about me."

Lily is crying. Oh, don't cry. Beautiful, happy girl. Don't cry for her.

Lily clears her throat. Wipes at her eyes. "I won't forget. I'll remember you. Always. Whatever happens, when this is all over, when you and your family are safe, you come find me, okay? Or I'll find you. It will only be a few years. The fighting can't go on longer than that. We just— if you need me, I'll be there. Just write to me. And I'll come."

Always there. Someone to be there. A real friend. Someone who— who loves— does she?

Does Lily love her?

Right. Narcissa Black. This is your last chance. Be alive. Step into the light.

She takes Lily's hands…and lets all of her walls fall away. Everything. Leaves her heart achingly open.

Stares into the eyes of the girl she loves. Let's her gaze travel over her face. Memorises it.

And lets the love show on her face. Smiles. Widely. Fully. Bashfully. Let's herself make any silly expression she wants. "I really am a fool to not have told you sooner how much I love you. It's been years, Lily. Perhaps from the moment I met you, although I didn't realise it at the time. And now we only have a few hours left together. I could talk to you for days. Weeks. Hours isn't enough."

Lily smiles back. Laughs. Frustratedly. "So now she lets down her walls! Wow, hello Narcissa Black. There you are. It's nice to finally see you for more than half a second," she grins.

And then her smile softens. "I wish we had more time too. You've had years to love me and…I still— I mean, of course I love you! But as— you're Narcissa. My friend. My— and I know you're pretty. Of course I know that. Everyone knows that. I just don't know—"

"Then kiss me," Narcissa blurts out. Because that's what she desperately wants to happen. And it's not like they'll see each other again anytime soon anyway.

And Lily said that she would never leave.

Lily's eyebrows raise in shock. Oh. Oh no.

"Only if you wish to," Narcissa hastily adds. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have assumed…friends. We're friends. It's fine. You—"

Lily kisses her.

Narcissa has never kissed anyone before. She's been promised to Lucius since she was twelve, but he's so much older than her. Bella's age. They never really see each other, except on social occasions. She's managed to turn her head away every time, so that the kiss lands on her cheek. Lets him have his fun with other witches. Talked him into an 'open relationship' until they're wed, so that his attention is diverted elsewhere.

So. This is her first kiss. And probably the only time she'll kiss someone she loves. In her entire life. This is the moment.

So she quickly kisses back. Threads her fingers into red hair so that this won't end too soon. She can feel herself trembling. How embarrassing. And she can't believe how soft Lily's lips are. How warm.

Everything is warm, heat spreading through Narcissa's chest and up her neck to her cheeks. Lily's nose is cold though. And she tastes like—

Lily pulls back. "Oh."

Oh? What does oh mean? Is that good or bad? Did she do it wrong?

Lily rests her forehead against Narcissa's. "Oh shit. Oh no I— but I like wizards too! Is that possible? I like James…and I like you. What's wrong with me?! What— now what?!"

She likes her?! Lily likes her?!

…and is upset. Confused.

Narcissa hugs her close. "Nothing is wrong with you. You can like both. Many people do, believe me. It is far more common than you'd think. I've heard many thoughts on the matter."

Lily collapses into her in relief. "Oh good. Okay. That's a bit better. But it— I'm still with James, Narcissa. Even if I— I mean I could tell him that we—"

"No!" Narcissa shouts, scrambling backwards across the grass until she hits into a tree.

And her walls go shooting back up. She closes off her mind. Her heart. Her expression.

Straightens her posture. Clenches her jaw. She's a Black. No one can…no. No one can know. It's not safe. She's not safe. She's vulnerable. She could…

She could die. Her parents could kill her for this. Even Bella might…snap.

She stands up. Leans against the tree as she finds her breath. Fights the cold.

Looks at Lily. Still sat confusedly on the ground. Leaning against their tree.

Narcissa shakes her head sadly. "You love James Potter. He's a good man. Brave. You're both brave, fighting for the light. You'll be…a beacon of hope. For everyone. You'll have a happy life. With friends. Family. It's the best choice for you. The only real choice."

Lily struggles to her feet. "And what about you?"

Narcissa takes a shaky breath.

Yes.

What about her?

Well…

She steadies herself. Finds her strength. Stands tall, and…smiles proudly. "I'll be Narcissa Malfoy. I'll have the grandest house. Hold the most prestigious gatherings. I'll read everyone I meet. Know their wants, their fears, their weaknesses. I shall have the world at my command. Lucius is already under my thumb. I'll take no more orders, have the strongest wards around my home. I'll be safe. In control. I'll wait out this war. Be there for my sister. And I'll have the memory of you. Of everything you have taught me. The world that you have opened up to me. And that will save me. Keep me alive. The knowledge that it's all an act. I'll never be the perfect, pureblood witch, because the muggle world is fascinating. And you are fascinating. Wonderful. The most wonderful witch in the world. Lily Evans. You showed me a secret garden. Woke me up. I think I'll grow some flowers for you, in my big old manor house. Just for you."

Narcissa manages to say all of that. Perfectly. Without a crack in her voice. And all without breaking her gaze from Lily.

And then she runs away.

There's a prophecy. There's a prophecy, and it's about Lily's son. Harry Potter. The Dark Lord is going to kill Harry Potter. And anyone who gets in his way.

And Narcissa has to stop him.

First, she has to find Lily. She's been hidden away. By the Order. Dumbledore.

She considers writing to Andromeda…but it's too risky. The Order is on the lookout for spies. She could put Andromeda and her family in danger.

She could ask Sirius. Plead with him.

But he's always been hot-headed. Reckless. A risk. No. Not Siri.

So she waits. She listens. So far, Bella is still searching for them. Frantically. Desperately.

For now, Lily is safe.

So Narcissa just smiles tightly. Offers refreshments to various guests as they come and go. Talks about the weather. The garden.

Plants more flowers in her greenhouse. Lilies. Adds to her expansion charms and brews countless potions. Inwardly smiles at her little joke. She doesn't have a secret garden. Her garden holds secrets.

And when even looking at the flowers is too much, she finds sanctuary in the nursery. With Draco. Holds him. Loves him. Keeps him safe, and warm, and tells him that he is the most wonderful, bravest little boy in the world. That he's the only light she needs. Her dragon.

Sometimes, when she is certain no one is around, she teaches him to roar. To growl. Listens to him giggle as she growls at him. A fearsome mother.

Just a game. He'll never be afraid of his mother. Never.

Peter Pettigrew! It's Peter—

He's the secret keeper. And he's going to betray them.

What should she do? If she confronts Pettigrew, she exposes herself. Puts her son in danger.

She could obliviate Pettigrew…but then what? Tell the Order? A secret message? They might not believe it. What's the best plan? What's the next logical step? The surest way to—

There's no time. Hide her. Find her and hide her. She has to be safe. Lily and her family have to be safe. To be happy. That was always the plan. If anything happens to Lily…

At dinner, Narcissa feigns a headache. Leaves Draco with the house-elves. Sneaks out of her own house.

And searches down the rat.

She knows where Pettigrew lives, because the Dark Lord knows where he lives. And Tom Marvolo Riddle cannot hide his mind from everyone. Not from her. No one can hide from her. His mind is dark. Darker than Bella's.

She braves the dark, for Lily.

Found him.

She knocks hurriedly on Pettigrew's door. And cries.

"Peter. Peter I— oh please answer!" she sobs.

And he peeks through the curtains at her. She waves her handkerchief feebly. Holds a hand to her chest.

The door edges open.

"Mrs Malfoy? Are you alright?" he whispers fearfully, eyes darting up and down the street.

She leans in close to him. Whispers close to his disgusting mouth. "Oh I hate to bother you, I really am being so silly but— well I don't know who else to talk to. You've always been such a kind man. So easy to talk to. And I know I shouldn't be here but— You see I have this secret, and it's been weighing on my mind. It is of utmost importance, it could alter the war and— may I come in? Please."

And his beady eyes focus in on her. He smiles slimily. His nose twitches. Narcissa holds back a shudder.

"Oh, my dear Narcissa. I would love to help you. It— just to be certain that it is indeed— well these are dangerous times. If you would just tell me…the name of your childhood house-elf."

Tiggy? That's his polyjuice question? She looks inside his mind…

If it's not her, he'd better turn into wormtail and run straight away. It could be anyone. The Death Eaters. Debt collectors. He's had to avoid Borgin for— he should just go back inside. She's taking too long to reply. It's not her. Sirius had said—

Oh, he knows from Sirius. "My…house-elf was called Tiggy, Mr Pettigrew. Oh I'm sorry. Perhaps I should leave. You're right. It's not safe. I'm just so— oh I just don't know where to turn. I—" she breaks off with a shaky breath. Looks into his eyes and then looks away ashamedly.

"No no, Narcissa. Come in. Forgive me, I had to be sure.Tell me of your troubles. And…I was just enjoying a glass of wine by the fire, will you join me?" He runs a hand over his hair and preens.

Perhaps rather than obliviating him, she should just kill him.

She watches a bead of sweat trickle down from his forehead. Forces a relieved smile onto her face and brushes past him. "Such a kind man," she smiles. He's deliberately stood in the doorway. Hasn't left enough room. He licks his lips as she passes. Puts a guiding hand on her waist.

Sometimes she wishes she was Bella. If a wizard did that to her, he'd be left without a hand. Or a heartbeat.

Narcissa just bites her tongue. Continues towards his living room. "What a lovely home. Is it this way? A drink by the fire sounds wonderful. I'm afraid I need to steady my nerves."

There is a bottle and goblet of wine on the coffee table. That shall make things a bit more difficult. Pity veritaserum doesn't work against the fidelius charm. Willingly divulged. Ah well. She has skills other than potion making. She will need him to leave the room though.

She pretends to warm her hands by the fire. Hmm. She was hoping she wouldn't have to do this. But if she needs to persuade him without raising suspicion….

She turns to face him. "It is frightfully chilly outside. My hands are so numb I cannot even unclasp my cloak. I would be most grateful if you would assist me and hang it to dry. Perhaps in your hallway? I shouldn't want any rainwater to dampen your carpet."

And once again he falls for it. Wizards are so easy to control. A few tears. A few silly or embarrassing mishaps to make them feel superior. Needed. The possibility of a sexual liaison hanging in the air.

She offers up her neck to him, the clasp of her cloak against her collarbone. He undoes is clumsily, hands shaky and long fingernails in the way. Dirty fingernails. For Lily. This is for Lily.

She twirls around as he finally unclasps it. Giggles girlishly. How he is unable to see through this, she cannot understand.

And he scurries off to the hallway with her cloak.

Right, anti-apparition and anti-animagus wards. Quickly.

She makes her way around the thankfully very small and shabby sitting room. Muttering as fast as possible. She just needs to—

He scurries back through the door. She hasn't warded the floor. If the rat finds a crack…

She throws her arms around him. "Oh it's such a relief! I've held it in for so long and— even Lucius does not know. Or Bella. The only one in the world with such an important secret. You cannot possibly understand— oh I must seem such a mess! You're opinion of me—"

She wrenches herself from his grasp, tears flooding down her face, and backs away towards the fire. "I just need— a —a moment to compose myself. I feel rather faint I— could you perhaps get me a bite to eat? Anything will— oh no, I can't ask more of you. Not after bursting into your home and— and throwing myself at you like some— some—"

He clasps his hands together and smiles…charmingly. Well, what he believes to be charming. "Now, Narcissa, relax. You are welcome to stay as long as you'd like. Tell me anything. Anything. Why don't you sit, sweetheart, have some wine, and I will return shortly with something to eat."

Sweetheart. So her choice of wearing a dress from her school years has worked. He wants to see her as young. Less intimidating. That will soon change.

She gives him a blindingly innocent smile and curls into an armchair, tucking her hair behind her ears. "Thank you, Peter."

He winks at her and walks off chuckling. How revolting.

And once more she gets to her feet. Finishes warding the floor. The ceiling. Locks the floo.

Waits by the door for him. Holding it open. Eager to see him again.

Ready to shut and lock the door behind him.

He returns, carrying a tray of cheese and biscuits.

She wonders if he enjoys eating cheese, as an inside joke? She certainly would. If she was a mouse or some such creature, it would be amusing to sit and eat cheese. Nibble at it whilst everyone else was unaware.

Honestly, Narcissa. This is no time for humour.

She smiles at him and shuts the door. Wards it shut as he turns his back to place the tray down.

Now. Costume change.

She undoes the transfiguration on her dress. Now in green, expensive robes. He still has a lingering fear of slytherin colours. Subconscious.

She turns around, and extinguishes the fire with a wave of her wand and a hiss. He whirls to face her. "Nar— Narcissa?"

She laughs. Coldly. Cruelly. Holds her head high and sneers down at him. "Oh, silly little Peter. Dim-witted, bumbling Peter. Did you really think you were the only one who could play a part? Did you honestly think that I would have any interest in you? Pathetic. Not even a man. A mouse. Or should I say, a rat?"

He freezes. Trembles in terror.Trying to transform. Unable to.

She tuts. "Now, none of that. Don't insult me. There's nowhere to run, Peter. Nowhere to hide. You're good at that, aren't you? Hiding behind your friends. Well, I say friends. They're just shields to you now, aren't they? Real Gryffindors. Brave. The hat probably put you with them because it felt sorry for you. Knew you'd be useless in any house. That you would need them to protect you. Expelliarmus!"

She catches his wand. He hadn't even moved. Too shocked. Distracted by her words. They all get distracted by her words. Her insight into their secret insecurities.

She holds his wand between her hands. Bends it. There's a creaking sound. He shudders. "N–no! Don't— I'm sure this is just a– a misunderstanding. What can I do to—"

She pauses. Taps his wand to her lip. "Well, I suppose I can be kind. Take pity on you. I'll give you a choice. Either, you tell me the location of the Potters, I remove this little interaction from your mind, and we go on our merry way. Or…" she sighs. "Well, it's very messy. But I suppose Bella taught me for a reason. I'll have to try out her technique on living subjects at some point. I shall have to put up with the blood, perhaps cast a silencio for the screams…"

"P—please. Narcissa. We went to school together. W—we had De—defense—"

Narcissas laugh. "Defense Against the Dark arts, yes. I recall very well. You struggled with wandless magic, didn't you? Even in our final year…"

She waves her hand, not even her wand hand. "Incarcerous."

Ropes tighten around him and he slides down the wall onto floor. She walks over to him. Takes a knife out of her pocket. One of Bella's, that she'd left in the bathroom, of all places. How her sister can plan things so carefully and yet—

Focus.

She spins the knife between her fingers, and crouches above him. "Where are the Potters?" she whispers softly. It's always worse when she whispers.

His eyes widen in terror, trained on the knife. "G–Godric's Hollow," he squeaks. "A C–Cottage in Godric's Hollow. Narcissa—"

She flicks her wand at him. "Obliviate. Stupefy."

He slumps waxenly onto the floor

She hovers him onto the sofa. "Relashio."

The binds disappear. There. He fell asleep after dinner. Too much wine.

She vanishes the wine from the goblet. Places his wand on the table. Takes down the wards and unlocks the floo. Lights the fire.

Collects her cloak from the hallway and leaves.

Godric's Hollow.

No…

Narcissa feels her wand slip from her fingers and clatter to the ground as she sees the green light fill the bedroom window.

Too late. She's too late. She—

She searches out the minds around her. The minds inside the cottage.

Lily. Where is—her thoughts aren't there. Her mind isn't there. Gone. It's gone. Where is—

Or Potter. Silence from Potter. From James.

And the baby—

Mamamamama

Harry. Harry is—

Another flash of light. No…

She dazedly picks her wand up off the ground.

No. Her child? Harry is—?

Mamamadadada

…Harry?

And she can't hear Riddle. How can she not hear Riddle? He's vanished. His mind has—

A baby's screams fill her head. Crying out for his mother.

Narcissa runs. Runs into the house, wand drawn. Takes in the chaos and the wreck…James. He—

Mamamama

She runs past James. Up the stairs to…

To…

And finds herself locked deep inside her mind.

The ice spreads over her body. Covers her. Traps her. Suffocates her.

She's going to die.

Lily is dead. And now so is Narcissa.

Always…has turned into never. Never again. An endless never.

Nothing. Just nothing. She has nothing.

Empty. Cold. Numb.

And dark. Silent. She has no heartbeat. Her heart has stopped.

Or…

…Narcissa has a son.

Draco. His name is Draco, and he needs his mother. He is not going to be alone. To grow up alone. She can't hide. She has to protect…

She can hear a baby crying. Wake up. Someone needs you, wake up.

A baby is…Harry is…

You will not leave Lily's child alone. Wake up. Now.

And she opens her eyes with a gasp. Stumbles over to the crib. Looks down at…

Green eyes. And a bleeding scar. He's hurt. He…

She picks him up. Wipes his face with her handkerchief. Holds him close and kisses his soft head of black hair. "Sshh, Harry. It's alright. Such a brave little boy. Aren't you so brave. Strong. So— so strong. Oh I'm sorry, Harry. I tried. I tried to come and— and—"

His little hands clutch onto her. His cries have turned into gulping breaths. She rubs his back.

Now what? She can't be here. The Order will be here soon. If they find her here…with the— the bodies. With—

She can't bear it. To even…it seems unfathomable. Inconceivable. Completely impossible that…Lily is gone. Just…

She can't think. She needs to think. She can't figure it out. Can't fix it.

And a very small part of her…keeps whispering that Bella will fix it. That she needs to go to Bella. That she wants to— to just hide behind Bella, until it all goes away.

But Bella is gone too. Her Bella. She can't go to her sister.

Her sister wants to kill this baby boy. Bella is gone.

So she has to do this herself. Has to…

The Order will be here soon. They're on the light side. Lily trusted them. They'll know who should look after Harry. Who will love him. Care for him. Her home isn't a happy one. Lily's child deserves happiness.

She puts Harry back into the crib. "I'm so sorry, Harry. Help is coming. You're not alone. It's only for a moment. I can't— I have to—"

She can feel herself freezing up. She can't let that happen again. Not near Harry. She has to keep him safe.

She apparates away.

Narcissa spends all night frozen. Trapped inside her head. All night…and all of the next day. The day after that.

And nobody notices. Nobody notices, that past the grounds, deep within the Manor, shut behind the strongest wards of her own making, Narcissa Malfoy is slowly dying. Dying alone, in the cold. Curtains drawn. In the dark.

Except Dobby. It's Dobby who pops into her bedroom. Puts Draco in her arms. Leaves him in her arms until Draco cries for her. Wants his mother. Needs her.

And she wakes up.

Wakes up to the news that the war is over. That her husband is to stand trial. That Bella is already set for Azkaban. That she'd lost her fight with the darkness. Perhaps Bella is lost forever.

She doesn't know where Harry is now. And she's too tired to find out. Too weak.

The boy who lived. People are celebrating.

The boy who lived…because a girl died. A girl who loved flowers, and books, and her sister.

And Narcissa. The girl who loved Narcissa.

Chapter 69: Problematic ProxemicsNotes:

Hey folks! I hope you're all having a nice Christmas/holiday/weekend in these crazy times. I'm finally back again, but maybe not so regularly for a little bit.

I actually wasn't going to post this tonight, which is why it's so late. But there'a a gale blowing over my house that is apparently from Storm Bella so...it felt like a sign haha (Honestly. Storm Bella is hitting the UK. Promise. I couldn't make this up)

Anyway, enjoy!

Chapter Text

Narcissa's story drifts to an end, and the room falls silent. They've all ended up on the sofa somehow. All three sisters. Sat staring into the fire.

And crying. At some point some tears have dripped down Bellatrix's cheeks. Andy is the same, tears glistening in the firelight. Hearts aching for their sister.

Their little sister. The only one who isn't crying. Who never lets herself really cry. Weakness.

Except…

Bellatrix takes Cissy's hand and clears her throat. "You're allowed to cry, Cissy. It's okay. You don't have to hold it all in."

Narcissa turns to face her. Perfectly composed. Face blank other than a slight frown marring her forehead. Searches Bellatrix's eyes.

And bursts out laughing. Laughs and laughs. Laughs until Bellatrix is sure she isn't even breathing. And that this isn't normal. That this is—

She gives Andy a frantic look. Shit. Fuck, she's lost it. What do we do? How can—

Narcissa stands up. Still laughing. Gasping and raw. And then takes a dragging breath. "It's so ironic! Everything is— who is doing this to me?!"

She flings her arms out and looks up at the ceiling. "Do you think it's funny?! Is this some twisted— I told her she'd be safe…and she died! I told her she'd be happy…and she died! I told Harry he would be loved, and safe, and not alone. That he deserved a happy home. Well, where is it? Is he happy? I don't think the boy is happy!" she yells manically around the room.

Shit. She doesn't know what to do. Cissy doesn't do this. Doesn't shout. Doesn't lose control. Not really. And she can sense magic crackling around them. Furniture rattling. What the fuck will happen if— Cissy has bottled everything up. If she explodes…this could be one hell of a storm.

Bellatrix pulls Andy closer to her, just in case, and says a silent and sad goodbye to the books. Please say the books—

"He is happy!" Andy shouts.

Cissy stills. Takes a few panting breaths and lowers her arms. Slowly turns to look at them.

Andy swallows. "Not…not all the time. He's had a shit time of it, but— he has friends, Cissy. People who love him. Are doing everything to protect him. And— remember the quidditch match? He was happy. You saw him. He wasn't alone. And he has— he has Hermione. And the Weasleys. And he survives, Cissy. Remember? We saw the future. Bella showed us. He lives. He grows up, and if he has a daughter, he wants to name her Lily. He still loves his mother. And he's going to be okay, Cissy. We all are."

The crackle of magic fades away. And Cissy starts crying. Real tears. Her face crumples. Cries like she hasn't since she was four years old…

Runs over to them and clings to Bellatrix. "What about Bella? I don't want her to leave. I'm not strong enough to— you have to fix it, Andy. Figure it out. I can't— Bella. Bella, I tried. I tried to stay with you. I didn't want to leave you. Don't leave me. And— and I know that you said not to be like you, but I think I'm exactly like you. And it's so hard!"

Oh. Oh little Cissy.

Bellatrix hugs her close and shushes her. Rocks her…

Watches as blonde hair turns brown. Curly.

Her veriform? So Cissy feels…safe?

She kisses the curly head. Still her sister, even if she looks a bit different. "Hey, don't you worry about all that, Cissy. I'm right here. I woke up, remember? I'm back. Bella is back and she's not going anywhere, alright? The darkness won't get me. And we're all going to figure it out together. You're not in charge, Cissy. You don't have to plan everything. It's not your responsibility. Or your fault. Nothing has ever been your fault."

Narcissa sniffs and clings on tighter. "I told her what to do, and she did it. She followed my plan and she— she died. She's gone."

Oh Bellatrix's heart is breaking for her. It isn't fair. Why didn't Cissy get to be happy? Why did fate have to be so cruel?

She sighs. "Not your fault. No one could have known. I probably would have done the same thing."

Cissy shakes her head. "No. No, you didn't. When you realised you loved Hermione, you didn't hide it. You came and told me, decided to be with her and that you didn't care what anyone else thought. I was too frightened."

Bellatrix chuckles. "Yeah, after I convinced myself to join a cult and start a race war for twenty odd years. Trust me, Cissy. You did way better than me. You did everything you could. Now come on. Let's have a cup of tea with Andy, and you can both explain to me what…televisions are."

Cissy laughs against her wetly, and Andromeda groans. "Oh Merlin. That might take all fucking night, Bella. You always ask so many questions."

Cissy pulls back. Looks up at her. For some reason she's slightly shorter than Bellatrix now.

And no ocean eyes. Brown eyes. Just like her own. Red around the edges from crying.

Cissy brushes some wild curls out of her own face and sighs. "So I even have your crazy hair. Wonderful. Well. It won't have a mind of its own for long. I'm going to be strict with it."

Okay, this weird her-Cissy hybrid is kind of freaky. She doesn't want to be rude but— "You look fucking weird, Cissy," she blurts out.

Great. That came out just—

Andy smacks her over the head. "She looks like us, dummy. What are you saying? And it's her veriform. Don't be so—"

Cissy grins at them. "It is rather peculiar. I think I prefer being a blonde. And the blue eyes. Much more intimidating when I need to be. But I do wonder…"

She strokes Andy's face. "Is this really you? Did you manage to keep yourself, through all this?"

Oh. That's true.

Is that Andy? She thinks she's always looked like that…

Andy shrugs embarrassedly. "It's me. You both took the brunt of…I never had to be scared to be myself. To hide anything. Sometimes people get weird and think I'm you, Bella. Jump. Or scream. Run away from me. But that's now, not when we were little."

Bellatrix sits down on the sofa and pulls Cissy with her. "People scream at you?"

Andy sighs. "Yeah. It's worse now you're out of Azkaban. I'll be minding my own business, out with Ted, and some random person will jump a foot in the air. Or point at me. Idiots. As if you'd be out buying milk or something. I feel like I need to get 'Not Lestrange' stamped on my forehead."

Narcissa smiles, reaching for the tea as Tiggy appears, apparently having been listening in. "You should wear a t-shirt that says 'I love muggleborns'"

Bellatrix snorts. "What, so we can all borrow it? Might as well just write 'fuck the Dark Lord', that's more direct."

"Bella, you do realise people think you are fucking the Dark Lord, right? That shirt might send the wrong message," Andy grins over her cup.

What?! Oh gross! No no

No!

Cissy laughs. "You didn't know? Oh Bella, I'm sorry. It's true. Even Lucius believes it. You must admit, your admiration for him—"

"I never wanted to fuck him!" Bellatrix splutters. "That's just— everyone thinks—? Is it just because I'm a witch? I don't— even when I admired him it was— he was a mentor! A teacher. He— this is my personal space issues coming back to fuck with me, isn't it? Everyone gets the wrong idea."

Andy pulls her into a sideways hug. "I forgot about that. You're right. Personal space issues. Remember when you tried to intimidate—"

She casts a very hasty silencio at Andy. "That didn't happen. That never happened."

Cissy cancels the silencio. "Well something obviously happened. Let me guess. You stood nose to nose with someone, stared into their eyes, and sure enough, they thought you wanted to kiss them. It is rather confusing, Bella. If you hate someone, then why on Earth do you stand so close? And who was it?"

Bellatrix hides her face in Andy's shoulder. That is what happened. But worse.

She feels Andy chuckle. "She pinned them down on the floor. In the astronomy tower. At night."

Bellatrix pulls away with a glare. "They were getting away! I had to teach them a lesson. Of course I couldn't do it in broad daylight, and—"

"And you accidentally taught them completely the wrong lesson. Had them convinced you had a secret love for them that you were just too shy to admit."

She knows, okay. It was a nightmare! She had to be on the lookout for—

Narcissa scoffs. "Who on earth is delusional enough to think Bella is shy?"

Andromeda folds her arms at Bellatrix and raises her eyebrows. Smiles smugly.

Bellatrix sighs. Fine. "Lockhart. I was just trying to scare him because he— well he was going around telling everyone that he'd broken all of these school records! My records! Said he was the best at the Dark Arts and all this bloody— and he was only a second year! It was complete bollocks. Anyway, I didn't want to actually hurt him, he was a kid! So I pinned him down and— well, anyway. He kissed me. I wasn't quick enough to stop him. Kissed by a twelve-year-old. And then he kept writing me letters. Telling everyone about his secret love. Andy here found it hilarious of course and was no help."

Andy sniggers into her tea. "I still think it's hilarious. Every time you tried to get rid of him, it would go wrong. He was your little stalker for ages. He still used to talk about you in the staff room, you know, a few years back when he was teaching at Hogwarts. I was dying holding the laughter in. Kept having to leave the room."

What?! She spits tea everywhere. Mostly over Cissy.

"Bella! Oh how revolting! It's in my hair and—"

"He told people?!" Bellatrix coughs. "How dare he— what did he say?!"

Andy stands up. Morphs into Lockhart and leans suavely against the fireplace. "A heart is a fragile thing, my dear Sybill. Alas, I have broken many a witch's heart in my time. And some wounds never really heal. One witch was even driven to madness by her longing for me. Oh yes. Bellatrix Lestrange. Although she will always be dear, sweet Bella to me. Shouting her sorrow to the world. I'm sorry, my love! We were not meant to be!"

Bellatrix flies to her feet, choking on nothing. Grabs a cushion and presses it to her face with an agonised groan. Nooo! Why why why!

And then throws the cushion across the room. "I was intimidating him! It's not my fault he's completely— he's the mad one! And he actually is now! Obliviated! For once, I'm fucking grateful to Ron Weasley. Lockhart's forgotten it. I've forgotten it. It never— and Andy, you kissed that crackpot Lovegood so—"

Andy transforms back with a chuckle. "That's not gonna work, Bella, sorry. I'm not embarrassed about Philius at all. He's kooky, but friendly. We still talk from time to time at gatherings with the Weasleys. And I kissed him because I was twelve, and curious, and knew he wouldn't make a big deal of it."

Oh. Damn. Is she the only one with a series of embarrassing sexual mishaps?

It must be the personal space issue.

Narcissa transforms out of her veriform. Back to blonde. And clears her throat. "You…if it is any consolation, you are not the only one with an unwanted suitor, Bella. I…oh it's dreadful! I cannot understand how she— and everyone she beds swiftly dies, so I am in quite the awkward position."

Wait. She? A witch who kills everyone she— "Zabini?! Zabini's your stalker?! But she's bloody gorgeous, Cissy! Why—"

Andy scoffs. "Trust you not to care about the multiple homicides, Bella. Cissy's right, the witch's track record isn't great, is it?"

Bellatrix shrugs. "She's doing it for the money. Six dead husbands. So what?"

"I have money!" Narcissa says, slightly frantically. "And she is always thinking about the next 'accident'. I'm not sure it's even about the fortune at this point. She has imagined killing me on multiple occasions. She's making me jumpy. Me."

 Andy accios a chair over and puts her feet up with a frown. "Wait. So does she want to sleep with you, or kill you? And how does she know you…you know, are interested? Even Bella didn't know."

Cissy folds her arms. "I'm not sure how she knows. But she definitely wants to begin some sort of affair. And then kill me. I believe she is after a challenge. She has found the previous murders too…easy. Thank Merlin she is not aware of my legilimency skills. Lunch with her is like a game of Russian roulette."

Hmm. Sounds hot. "Just fuck her, and then kill her before she kills you."

"Bella! Your list. Number one—"

"—No killing, I know. But if she's trying to kill you, then it's just defending yourself. She should know better than to try to kill a Black."

Cissy shakes her head. "I'll do no such thing. I've merely been avoiding her. She spends most of her time abroad anyway, it is only the occasional gathering where I have to be wary. Watch my food and drink, not stand anywhere with a steep drop, notice if she takes the knife from her purse or—"

"Knife?!" Andromeda yells. "I thought she made these killings look like accidents! There aren't many accidental stabbings! And what happened to the sex?"

Narcissa tuts. "Well that's another issue entirely. Yes, she is forever trapping me in a room with her, or removing various items of clothing. Making excuses to play music or dim lights. Offering to teach me Italian, and then whispering to me. Saying the most filthy— from her thoughts, I believe her fantasy is to kill me whilst in bed with me. Preferably in Lucius' bed, framing Lucius for my murder, and then she plans to seduce Draco for the fortune. Or send Blaise after him, depending on Draco's…interests. So there. That's the sort of thing I have been navigating over the years."

Fucking hell. She's always wondered what Cissy got up to at the Manor all day, but she hadn't expected…how much is Cissy hiding? After the whole Lily Evans reveal, she'd kind of assumed Cissy didn't have much of a sex life. Now she's not so sure…

Andy laughs. "And here I was thinking I had the biggest secret. You know, nymph relatives. Metamorphing. Posing as a divination teacher for years. Visions and prophecies. I thought I had all the cards here. Turns out you're both— what the fuck do I tell Ted? Because unlike you two, I can't send my husband off to Azkaban. Not that I want to, but— I tell Ted everything! I think…can I tell him…all of this? Not— not everything. Can I just tell him…that you're back, Bella? Please. And you, Cissy. That I have my sisters back."

Oh. Shit. But these are fucking huge secrets and— and how can they trust— she doesn't even know—

Cissy takes her hand. "Is he discrete? Will he accept that he can't ask questions? And will he…if he were to meet Bella…"

Meet her? Is that a good idea? She's a Death Eater. She— her sisters have forgiven her for what she's done, but they're Blacks. They're used to violence. And they know her. Understand her. Hermione forgave her, but she loves her. Tonks won't understand.

Ted Tonks. Not Nymphadora. But that's another question—

"Where is your kid, Andy?" she asks, standing up and moving over near the fire. "She's not at Hogwarts. What's going on with her?"

Andy shrugs. "What do you mean? She's with the aurors. She was never stationed at Hogwarts. I don't know where that all came from in Hermione's memories. She's on surveillance. Criminal hotspots like Knockturn Alley, following people. She might even be outside your house right now, Cissy. Trying to get any kind of word on new attacks. She has her own place, just comes around every now and then on the weekends or for meals."

But…huh? Weird. Bellatrix casts some fiendfyre into the fireplace and plays around with it as she thinks. How— "How do you know what she's up to? You're Trelawney. You're off at Hogwarts. You're never there—ow!"

A cushion hits her in the back of the head, and she cancels the fiendfyre, spinning around. "Andy?! What was that for?! Tarantallegra!"

Andy flicks the dancing legs charm aside. Her reflexes are pretty fast. And gets to her feet. Uh oh.

More and more cushions begin flying at Bellatrix. She holds up a protego and watches them rebound around her.

"Don't tell me I'm not there for my daughter, Bella," Andy snaps. On her feet now and sending the cushions in strategic directions, finding weak spots. "I'm always there. I don't live at Hogwarts! I go home. Take the floo every evening or at the weekends. Do you think anyone cares where Trelawney is?"

Andy runs out of cushions, starts sending books flying her way as they circle the sofa. "No one cares what Trelawney does in her spare time. Comes to see her in— actually Snape came and knocked on my door once. Freaked me the fuck out. But that's not the point! How dare you say—"

A whole battalion of encyclopaedias suddenly surrounds Bellatrix out of nowhere, crowding around her menacingly, and Bellatrix raises her hands in surrender. "Alright, Alright. Calm down, you're a good mother, happy?"

Andy slumps back onto the sofa with a sigh. The books back away. "Sorry. Sore subject, I guess. And Dora has been so fucking depressed recently. Could be Lupin, if that's what Hermione— but Dora doesn't talk about it! Won't tell me! She's always been so…colourful. And now…"

Narcissa wraps her arm around Andromeda. Pulls her close. "Draco is much the same. It's agony. But at least I know why he…would you like me to look into Nymphadora's mind and find out?"

Andy huffs. "I can do that too, Cissy. Look her in the eye and— no. No, I promised myself I never would. Like we all do with each other. She never learnt occlumency, not like Ted. She doesn't know any of—"

"Ted knows occlumency?" Bellatrix asks, grabbing the bar of chocolate that Tiggy gave her earlier off the table. She feels okay, no darkness yet, but every time Hermione is mentioned she feels a bit…weak. Better eat some just in case, to fight off whatever the fuck keeps attacking her.

Andy nods. "I taught him. At first just to be safe, and then more seriously once I started having visions. Luckily, by the time I was Trelawney, he had gotten pretty good. Not good enough for Dumbledore if he happens to twinkle past, but that hardly ever happens."

Hmm. Ted Tonks. Guess he's family now. Fucking weird. Who is he? Why does Andy love him? What has he been up to this whole time whilst his wife was Trelawney? Right. That's it. She's too curious.

Bellatrix accios her dress from upstairs and unzips her wetsuit. She's fed up with being in a wetsuit. And she's made up her mind. "I want to meet him. If he's kept all your secrets so far…and was there for you this whole time…I want to talk to him."

Andy's eyes widen, and she pulls away from Narcissa. "Now?

Bellatrix catches her dress as it flies into the room and shrugs. "You said I might have to move in with him. If you want to tell him, tell him. I trust you. If he fits into your little chess board, then fine. I'll meet him. See if he's good enough for you."

Andy stands up with a huff. "Sounds like mixed messages, Bella. So you trust me, but you also want to…test him?"

Bellatrix rolls her eyes. She's not Cissy. She won't test him. She might just...have a peek in his head. Ask him a few questions. Act a bit crazy and see what he—

"Don't you dare mess with him, Bella. I know that look. You're going to do something. You're— and he's not on my chess board. He's not a pawn. He's not— I love him. I've loved him since I was fifteen. So don't— if you do anything, I'm sure he can take it. Figure it out. But please don't deliberately—"

Bellatrix finishes putting her dress on and groans. "Fine! I won't do anything, I promise! Go tell him and…well it's now or never, Andy. Who knows when I'll be called back to Riddle or…looking after baby nymphs or something. I'll hang around here for a bit and do some more research on— on Hermione and—"

Oh no. No no the pain. The chocolate didn't work. Why does— it's like her body is crying out for— for—

Her muscles seem to tremble, and she lets herself fall backwards onto the sofa. Feels sweat break out on her forehead. Shit.

And Cissy looks worried. Fuck.

She stares at Cissy as the pain slowly fades. And prays to any gods that are listening that she won't leave her sister. She can't leave Cissy. She doesn't want to ever…

She settles herself more comfortably on the sofa, and holds her arms open. "Cissy, you know that physical intimacy—"

Narcissa immediately moves to sit leaning against her. Leans her back against Bellatrix's front.

Bellatrix hugs her. It is steadying.

And makes a mental note that maybe she was wrong about Cissy hating hugs. Has she been secretly wanting affection this whole time?

She tests it. Puts her hand right next to Cissy's. Leaves it there enticingly.

"See. Cissy and I will be right here. Go tell that husband of yours about us," she calls up to Andy, who's frowning over her in concern.

Bellatrix feels Narcissa's hand slide into hers. Knew it.

And Andy nods determinedly. "Alright. I'll go tell him. I'll send a patronus with the reply and— fuck. This is going to be hard to explain quickly. But its fine. You're right. No time. You two just sit tight. I'll be back in a tick."

She apparates away, and Narcissa laughs softly. "She really does talk like a muggleborn now. Some of the things she…"

Narcissa turns around to face her. Brushes some hair off of Bellatrix's forehead. "Are you frightened, Bella? Tell me if you're frightened."

Frightened? Of what? A muggleborn man? Or of…whatever is happening to her? Weakness?

She searches Cissy's face and shakes her head. "I'm not frightened, Cissy. I have you. We've always looked out for each other, haven't we."

And they have. She hadn't quite realised…but she'd been so busy protecting Cissy…she hadn't noticed that there was someone protecting her right back. Being there for her. She'd never been alone. Not really.

She wraps her arms around her sister. Holds her tightly. Holds her steady. That's what Cissy wants. To be held steady. "Thank you for looking after me, Cissy. For seeing me. You've always— we've really been through some shit, haven't we. I hope that's over now. I hope fate has something good in store for us. We deserve a break."

Cissy hugs her back. Doesn't pull away. Hugs her tighter. "We certainly do. And we will. I'm going to make it so, don't you worry. We've done enough wallowing in our sorrows, Bella. Shall we fix it now? Shall we reunite you with Hermione? Because it's about fucking time. I won't let her leave you."

Bellatrix pulls back with a grin. Swearing?

And trust Cissy to make a hug so intense. Turn it into a vow. "Okay. Okay, you're right. Let's fucking fix it. Come on. Help me get the books sorted, Andy's worse than me. Piles of books and cushions just—we need to talk to that bloody bird. You look up phoenixes again, I'll search for animal languages. And in the meantime, tell me what to expect with this Tonks bloke. How muggle are we taking here? Because if I look like the only idiot in a muggle house then…."

She starts sorting books, flicks them towards different corridors. Where does she even keep the encyclopaedias? Had Andromeda summoned them from somewhere? Where the fuck…

Cissy keeps glancing at her as they sort. Smiling.

Well. This might be alright then. All of this chaos. If Cissy is finally happy.