I was moving fast.
Like stupidly fast.
I couldn't feel my legs.
Couldn't feel the ground.
Couldn't even tell if I was upside down.
Something was carrying me.
Not like a person carrying me.
More like an invisible hand had grabbed me and was dragging me through the sky.
I looked up.
Nothing there.
But for a second, I swear I saw some white shape above me.
Like an angel made out of light and geometry.
Then it disappeared.
"HELLO??" I shouted.
"No tutorial? No welcome pack? No beginner gift??"
No answer.
I looked down.
Rows and rows of soldiers.
Orcs.
Dark black armor.
Huge bodies.
White tusks shining through the dark like knives.
There were so many of them that the ground looked black.
"…Oh no."
I was still flying.
Over hills.
Through trees.
Across farms and villages.
Everything was a blur.
This wasn't some random fantasy forest.
This place had roads, watchtowers, wagons, camps.
War vibes everywhere.
Then suddenly—
I stopped.
Hard.
I was inside a hut.
Dark room. Smoke in the air. Fire burning low.
And someone was screaming.
A woman was on a bed, sweating, crying, surrounded by other women.
She was giving birth.
I froze.
No way.
No no no no no.
Not this trope.
Not this exact trope.
"Please don't tell me—"
Too late.
Everything went white for a second.
Then pressure.
Pain.
Squeezing.
Heat.
I felt myself getting pushed.
I tried to move my arms.
Tiny.
I tried to kick.
Tiny.
I tried to scream "YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME—"
What came out was:
"WAAAAAAAH!"
Baby cry.
I'm a baby.
What the actual f*ck.