Deadpool was currently trying to juggle three live grenades while balancing on a rolling office chair. He accidentally dropped one, kicked it into a nearby portal, and then slid back to the microphone with a frantic grin.
"Whoops! Don't worry, tum, that's probably some other dimension's problem now!" Deadpool wheezed, adjusting his headset. "We are moving on to Match Four, and boy, is this one a doozy. It's the battle of the 'I'm too cool to lose' club! We've got the man who sees everything vs. the woman who controls everyone. It's the ultimate toxic relationship, but with more blood and less dinner dates!"
(You won't believe it took me a complete night just to think of the intro)
The arena transformed into the deserted, hauntingly quiet streets of Shinjuku. The towering skyscrapers were empty, and a light grey mist crawled along the asphalt. The air felt heavy, like the world itself was holding its breath.
Heimdall stood atop a traffic light, his golden armor gleaming. "Semi-Finals Match Four! The strongest sorcerer of the modern age, Satoru Gojo! Versus the Control Devil, the leader of Public Safety, Makima!"
The Unreachable Man
Gojo strolled onto the street, his hands in his pockets. He wore his high-collared black jacket and his signature blindfold. He had a playful, arrogant smirk on his face. "Hey there. You look like the type who enjoys a long walk on the beach... and total world domination."
Makima stood fifty feet away, her long red braid resting on her shoulder. She wore a simple white shirt and black tie. Her yellow, ringed eyes were calm, almost bored. She didn't say a word. She simply raised her hand and pointed her index finger at Gojo like a gun.
"Bang."
A massive, invisible force blasted forward. The air itself rippled with the pressure. The force hit the space in front of Gojo and stopped instantly. It was like hitting a wall made of frozen time.
"Nice try," Gojo chirped, tapping the air in front of his face. "But you can't touch me. That's the Infinity. The closer you get, the slower you go. You'll never actually reach me."
The Price of Control
Makima tilted her head. She didn't look surprised. She closed her eyes for a second, and suddenly, several invisible chains erupted from her shadow, lashing out toward Gojo. They, too, slowed to a crawl as they entered his personal space.
"Deadpool here with a quick tip, tum!" the merc shouted into the mic. "Gojo is basically the ultimate 'No U' card. But Makima? She has a contract with the Prime Minister. Any damage she takes is turned into illnesses or accidents for random citizens. She's basically a human voodoo doll for an entire country!"
Gojo decided to turn up the heat. He flashed a hand sign. "Cursed Technique Reversal: Red."
A tiny orb of red energy appeared at his fingertip and exploded into a massive shockwave. The blast leveled the surrounding buildings and sent Makima flying through a concrete wall.
A few seconds later, Makima walked out of the rubble. Her clothes were slightly dusty, but she didn't have a single scratch on her. Somewhere else in the world, a random person likely just tripped and fell, taking her damage.
The Infinite Void
Gojo realized that physical attacks weren't going to end this quickly. He reached up and slowly pulled down his blindfold, revealing his brilliant, glowing Six Eyes.
"Okay, lady. Let's see how much information your brain can handle," Gojo whispered. He brought his fingers together in a complex sign. "Domain Expansion: Unlimited Void."
The world around them shattered. Suddenly, they were standing in the center of a vast, dark universe filled with literal infinite information. Every thought, every feeling, and every detail of existence flooded into Makima's mind all at once.
Makima froze. Her eyes widened, the rings in her pupils trembling. Her contract allowed her to transfer physical damage, but this wasn't a wound—it was a total mental overload. Her brain was being forced to process an eternity every second.
Gojo walked right up to her, his face inches from hers. He raised his hand, gathering a mix of red and blue energy. "Hollow Purple."
The sphere of erasing energy tore through the street, vaporizing everything in its path, including the stunned Makima. Because her brain was locked in the Infinite Void, she couldn't even trigger the mental commands to survive.
"Match Four winner... SATORU GOJO!" Heimdall roared as the domain faded away.
Up in the booth, Deadpool was wiping "tears" from his mask. "That was cold-blooded, tum! Gojo basically gave her a migraine that lasted forever and then finished the job. One more god-tier fighter moves on to the next round!"