Deadpool was currently wearing a full suit of medieval plate armor that was three sizes too big, and he was holding a chainsaw in one hand and a giant spiked mace in the other. He had a heavy-metal soundtrack blasting so loud from his headphones that the announcer's desk was vibrating off its legs.
"tum, lock the doors and hug your pillow, because Ring 3 is officially rated R for 'Really, really violent'!" Deadpool screamed, his voice barely audible over the guitar riffs. "This is the battle of the 'Too Angry to Die' club! It's the Black Swordsman versus the Hell-Walker! The man who hunts demons for breakfast versus the man who turned Hell into his personal vacation home! This isn't a match; it's a heavy-metal album cover come to life!"
Ring 3 was a nightmare of obsidian rock, flowing lava, and the distant, agonizing screams of a thousand lost souls. The air was thick with the smell of sulfur and ancient blood.
Heimdall was broadcasting from inside a literal tank, his voice trembling over the speakers. "Match Number Seventeen! The Hundred-Man Slayer, the Black Swordsman... Guts! Versus the Doom Marine, the Scourge of Hell... The Doomslayer!"
The Heavy Metal Standoff
Guts stood at the edge of the obsidian platform, the massive Dragon Slayer sword resting on his shoulder. His cape was tattered, and his mechanical arm whirred as he tightened his grip. The Brand of Sacrifice on his neck was bleeding, reacting to the demonic energy of the Slayer.
"You're not a demon," Guts growled, his one eye narrowing. "But you smell like you've walked through an ocean of their blood. Out of my way."
The Doomslayer didn't say a word. He stood there in his green Praetor Suit, his visor reflecting the orange glow of the lava. He reached behind his back and drew the Super Shotgun, the double barrels gleaming. He clicked the breech shut with a sound that echoed like a thunderclap.
The Dance of Destruction
Guts lunged first. He didn't just swing his sword; he became a whirlwind of iron. The Dragon Slayer cut through the air with a sound like a jet engine. The Doomslayer dashed backward, the thrusters on his suit flaring, and fired both barrels point-blank.
BOOM-BOOM!
The buckshot slammed into Guts' chest, but he didn't stop. He used the momentum to spin, his cloak trailing behind him like a shadow.
"You'll have to do better than that!" Guts roared. He activated the Berserker Armor.
Dark, jagged metal tendrils erupted from the suit, encasing Guts in a terrifying, wolf-like helm. His speed tripled. He was no longer a man; he was a black blur of mindless rage. He slammed the Dragon Slayer down, shattering the obsidian floor.
The Doomslayer swapped weapons in a blur—pulling out the Crucible Blade. The red energy sword ignited with a hiss. He met Guts' massive iron slab with a strike that sent a shockwave through the entire stadium.
The Final Reckoning
Up in the booth, Deadpool was headbanging so hard his mask almost flew off. "Look at that, tum! It's a literal clash of titans! The Berserker Armor is holding Guts' bones together while the Slayer is just... absorbing the impact! I think I see a 'Rip and Tear' prompt appearing in the air!"
The two warriors were locked in a stalemate, blades grinding against each other. Guts was losing blood fast, the armor digging into his flesh to keep him standing. The Doomslayer saw an opening. He punched Guts in the chest with his retractable Doomblade, then followed up by pulling out a glowing, green-charged weapon.
"BFG-9000," Deadpool whispered in awe.
The Slayer pulled the trigger. A massive ball of green plasma roared across the ring. Guts swung the Dragon Slayer with every ounce of his remaining strength, trying to deflect the energy, but the explosion was too immense.
When the green smoke cleared, Guts was back in his human form, his armor smoking and cracked. He was still standing, leaning on his sword, but his eyes were clouded. The Doomslayer stood before him, the Crucible Blade pointed at his throat. He didn't strike. He simply nodded in respect to a fellow survivor and stepped back.
"Match Seventeen winner... THE DOOMSLAYER!" Heimdall shouted, the tank he was hiding in finally starting to move away.
Up in the booth, Deadpool wiped a tear of pure adrenaline from his eye. "The Slayer takes the win! That's 17 winners down, 34 matches to go in Round One, tum! I need a nap and a very large taco after that one!"
The Adrenaline is Pumping! isn't it.
We've survived Hell! Now let's head somewhere a bit more... acrobatic?
Match 18 (Ring 33): Spider-Man vs. Jolyne Cujoh. (The Web-Slinger against the Stone Ocean. High-flying string action!)
Match 19 (Ring 17): Natsu Dragneel vs. Portgas D. Ace. (The ultimate fire-fighter showdown!)
Match 20 (Ring 5): Yusuke Urameshi vs. Ichigo Kurosaki (Round 2?). (Actually, let's go with Yusuke vs. Inuyasha!)