Saitama blinked, still holding his 5,000 yen bill. Instead of a mall office, he was standing in the center of a massive, circular coliseum. High above, millions of spectators—gods, humans, and every anime character imaginable—were screaming in the stands.
"Where's the exit?" Saitama asked, scratching his head. "I really need to get home. This doesn't look like a supermarket."
"Welcome, mortals and misfits!" a booming voice echoed. Heimdall, the Watchman of the Apocalypse, stood on a floating platform, blowing into a massive horn. "The Shopping Mall Arc has been terminated due to low ratings and high property damage! We now enter the Grand Tournament! This is... RECORD OF ANIME RAGNAROK!"
The Roster of the Gods and Heroes
In the VIP box, Brunhilde (Record of Ragnarok) leaned over the railing, her eyes scanning the new arrivals. Beside her, Göll was shaking like a leaf.
"Sister! There are too many of them!" Göll cried. "Who are we even supposed to pick?!"
"We pick the ones who can break the laws of physics," Brunhilde replied with a dark smirk.
The stands were packed with more faces than a high school yearbook:
Revy (Black Lagoon) was cleaning her pistols, looking bored.
L (Death Note) was crouched on a stone bench, eating a macaroon.
Spike Spiegel was leaning against a pillar, watching the clouds.
Saber (Fate) stood with her invisible sword, her armor gleaming.
Guts (Berserk) had his massive sword planted in the ground, ignoring everyone.
Jotaro Kujo was tipping his hat, his Stand Star Platinum hovering behind him.
Yusuke Urameshi was stretching his arms, ready to fire a Spirit Gun.
Edward Elric was complaining that the arena stairs were too steep for him.
Tatsumaki was floating above the crowd, looking down at everyone with disgust.
Alucard was sitting in the shadows, waiting for the first drop of blood.
The First Match-Up
Heimdall raised his horn again. "The first round of the Multiversal Ragnarok shall begin! Representing the Gods... the man who rules the seas with a trident of salt! POSEIDON!"
The God of the Sea stepped into the arena, his gaze cold and arrogant. He didn't even look at the crowd. He just waited.
"And representing the Humans... or whatever he is..." Heimdall shouted. "The man who is here because he lost his way to the grocery store! The Caped Baldy! SAITAMA!"
"Hey, tum, look at this!" Deadpool whispered, sitting on the edge of the arena with a giant bucket of popcorn. "We're leading with the heavy hitter! Poseidon thinks he's hot stuff because he can poke people with a big fork. He has no idea he's about to fight a guy whose hobby is ending fights in one second! This is going to be the shortest chapter in history!"
Saitama walked to the center of the arena, looking at Poseidon's fancy trident.
"Is that made of real gold?" Saitama asked. "Because if I break it, I don't want to have to pay for it. I've had enough financial trouble today."
Poseidon didn't answer. He simply lunged forward, his trident moving so fast it looked like a thousand stings of lightning.
Round 1: The God of the Sea vs. The One Punch Man
The crowd went silent. Goku, Luffy, and Naruto leaned forward in their seats, their eyes wide.
"Master! Do not hold back!" Genos screamed from the sidelines. "Show this deity the power of a disciplined workout routine!"
Poseidon's trident was centimeters away from Saitama's face.
"Serious Series: Serious Side-Hops."
The arena floor cracked as Saitama began moving so fast he created an after-image wall that surrounded the God of the Sea.
"tum, the animation budget just tripled!" Deadpool yelled. "Saitama is playing jump-rope with a god! Who's going to land the first blow?!"