The smell of fresh linen lingers through the air, guiding me through a field of flowers; it's intoxicating. Around me, sunflowers grow high into the sky, reaching towards the sun that looms overhead. Daisy petals bloom in bright shades of pink, spotted with white and yellow. Daffodils spread like wild vines through the meadow.
Eden is the only word that comes to mind while taking in all the beauty. Never have I seen a place with such surreal, astonishing awe. I pick my jaw from the ground and run my hand along the petals of a nearby poppy. The softness draws me into a kind of trance. There is an omniscient hand guiding me through this perpetual joy, penetrating my heart.
Love would be the only way to describe this feeling.
Lost in paradise, I stumble through the garden like a young boy looking for a toy that was left out in the rain. Each step feels like an eternity as the sands of time drip through the hourglass. Sunlight heats my face, the warmth like a hug against my cold skin. Wind nimbly moves through my hair, a miscreant lurking in the city streets. Rapna blurs as would a memory almost forgotten with age.
Was I ever really in that reeking city?
Did I really see some Pope and join a hunt that knows such horror?
Here, now, is the focal point of my mind. A place where I can finally be free from the cruelness of this world and the despair of my life. Lenora, the apple of my eye, I would be so lost without her. Evelyn, a gift to me, I would never forgive myself if something were to happen to her. If something were to happen to either of them, I would end my life, not being able to bear the weight of their deaths.
Like the popping of a bubble, they emerge from the woods in the distance and run towards me. Arms outstretched, ready to embrace me. I also run, my feet moving of their own volition. Tears form around the edges of my eyes, falling like soft drops of rain, blurring my vision.
"Ezra!" Lenora yells, joy radiating through her.
I'm almost brought to my knees by the sound of her voice ringing through my ears. I've never had a peace like this before. Overwhelming emotions flood my system, but I push through and continue to run towards the woman who stole my heart.
"Daddy!" Evelyn cries, tears rolling down her tiny face.
On little legs, she pushes to keep pace with her mother. Such a strong girl, having endured so much in such a short life, and continuing to persevere. She is my inspiration, the reason that I live, and without her, I would be nothing but a husk of a man. While I may be alive, I would never live.
The waterfall that comes from her eyes gives way to my collapse. Falling to my knees, I begin to wail with a spectrum of emotions being expelled from my body. It's uncontrollable and uncomfortable. Feeling so vulnerable, in a state of ecstasy and pain, I cannot contain it any longer. My eyes blur from the tears that leak from my eyes, flowing down my face towards their inevitable ruin upon the ground.
"We knew that you'd come back!" Evelyn yells, wrapping her arms around my neck.
She squeezes so tightly that if she were stronger, she might have snapped me in two. Her heart beats in unison with mine, an entanglement of rhythmic bliss. In this moment, we are one. Elation floods my system.
"I've missed you so much!" She cries.
Lenora stands over us, watching with a smile that spreads across her face as the moon does in the sky. I see the joy that has become her. We are together again, a family.
"You've been gone so long, I almost began to think you'd forgotten us," Lenora said.
"Never. I would never forget you. You're my heart." I say, losing myself in her gaze.
Fire burns in the empty space between us.
"I could never forget either of you."
She begins to cry, and the fire starts to suffocate, losing oxygen with each drop of rain. She's just as lost here as I am, as we all are.
Evelyn doesn't let go of me, but Lenora joins us. Her arms wrap around the two of us. We cry together. Lost in time, the world spinning.
"Daddy," Evelyn cries.
"Why did you leave us she continues." Her grip loosens.
"He had to, hunny," Lenora answers before I can interject.
We untangle, flower petals unfurling to see the sun after a long night. I see them now, my heart and soul. They stand before me like monuments to what I could have lost during the hunt. Flesh and bone. I reach to touch Evelyn's face and feel her soft skin under my rugged palms.
My tears and wails have slowed, almost to a halt.
"You left me," Evelyn screams.
Tiny fists rage, colliding with me like hail.
She continues to scream.
I understand why she is angry; she woke up, and I was gone. Didn't even say goodbye to her. I couldn't; it would have been too hard. That's why I left in the middle of the night, under the cover of that darkness. I knew she wouldn't be able to make me stay. All she had to do was ask, and I would have turned around to be with her.
She feels like I've abandoned her.
"I'm sorry," the words come out slow like chilled honey.
She continues to punch.
"Stop," Lenora declares, her tone sharp and stern.
Evelyn does as she is told. She stands before me like the child that she is, a ball of wild emotions that cannot be contained. I cannot blame her for the feelings that she harbors against me. How could I? I left.
They are so familiar to me, but at the same time, they're strangers. How long have I been gone? How long has it been since I saw their faces? I don't remember. I don't remember much; my memory is a hazy cloud covered by a storm.
"We have some news," Lenora states, matter-of-factly.
"What," I reply.
Lenora drops her head, struggling to speak. Shaking like a tree in the wind, she stands tall, trying to hold the weight of the world.
"I thought you were dead," She mumbles.
"You were dead… They told us….They told us that thing had killed you."
She cries.
I reach for her, but she swats me away.
"I'm…" I struggle.
"I'm alive."
I stand to my feet, trying to meet her gaze, but she won't have it. She does everything that she can to make sure that our eyes do not meet.
"They said you were dead!" She screams.
She strikes me, her fist making contact with my chin, but I take the hit like it was nothing. The pain wells up, but I heed it no mind. Again and again, she strikes me until she is finally out of energy.
Now, she is collapsing to the ground.
I catch her, holding her body in my arms. I finally meet her eyes, a green that would make emeralds jealous.
"But… you're dead…" Lenora whispers.
"Mommy," Evelyn says, looking down while holding her stomach.
"I'm cold." She says in syllables.
"Daddy…" she says before falling to the ground.
Looking down at her, I see the pool of blood that she now swims in. A hole has been dug through her stomach. She's lifeless. No longer the child that I brought home, just a husk that lies on the ground.
Lenora says nothing. She stares at me, then looks down to see our daughter.
The pool of blood grows with each second that passes as all of the blood is drained from her tiny body. Who knew that something so small could contain so much liquid? The pool is big enough that I'm now standing in it, where I wasn't before. Lenora is also standing in the puddle, but she does not seem to notice.
I look down to see that her eyes are now closed and her body is limp. I shake her, trying to wake her up, but nothing happens. I lower her to the ground and try again to wake her, but nothing works. Her chest is no longer rising and falling with breath. I can no longer hear or feel her heart beating. Like my daughter, she is dead. Lifeless in my arms.
I don't cry; all the tears have already been expelled from this body.
Looking into the pool of crimson blood, I see a figure looking back at me. A figure that I don't recognize. It's not me that I'm looking at. No, it's someone entirely different. I move my hand over my face, and it is shown in the reflection. I blink one eye, which is shown in the reflection. I stare into the eyes of a monster as it starts to grin, and my sanity begins to fade.