Never in fifteen years of living in Nemeteia had Mira felt such heartbreak.
People here did not cry like that.
Even at death, the one who departed left with a full heart. It was tradition to speak only of their happiest memories during the farewell ritual, to smile through tears if they came, and to avoid letting grief weigh down the spirit of the one leaving. Sadness was natural, death was still death, both inevitable, hence the acceptance made things bearable.
What she had seen in Lyor was not that.
He didn't know that he could not go back. So why was he feeling so sad? Could it be that just like he remembered, unlike anyone else, he already knew that he couldn't go back? Or it could have been a memory of something or someone particular that made him sad.
She didn't know, and it wasn't wise to assume and carry on a conversation.
It's just that the sight of him breaking down had made her chest ache as if someone had pressed a hot ladle into it.
The moment she stepped out of the healing house, she gathered her skirts and hurried toward her food house as fast as her old bones allowed. The empty path blurred slightly as she moved, breath growing heavier with each step.
Idlen, the animal keeper's assistant, nearly collided with her at the corner.
"Mira? Is everything alright?"
She waved him off without slowing. "Fine, fine. Everything is fine."
It was already past the morning meal. The outside dining area of her food house had quieted, and inside, the large clay stoves dimmed to a steady warmth with emberstones underneath. They never overcooked, nor overused, not because they lacked ingredients, but because they respected balance. Nature provided generously; they simply refused to take it for granted.
On the long clay counter, only the meal she had separated for her remained. She always ate last, after ensuring everyone in her section had been fed. Hence, she didn't have to take time to make something for Lyor.
She quickly arranged it and what she could find onto a carved wooden tray.
There was a bowl of soft grain porridge made from sunroot millet, still warm, its surface drizzled lightly with wildbee honey. A small dish of mashed hyper beans seasoned with crushed herbs and a pinch of salt. Two slices of hearth-baked flatbread, and two slices of Crait's meat, brushed with seed oil to keep them from drying. A handful of sliced golden pearfruit and a few roasted nut clusters she had set aside for herself earlier.
She covered the tray with a square of Lumeris woven cloth that kept warmth sealed in without adding pressure, and hurried back, praying Sol had not scared the boy beyond repair.
When she reentered the healing room, Lyor was huddled near the bedpost, eyes vacant, shoulders slightly curled inward.
Sol stood in the right corner, posture rigid, hand resting on his sword. He straightened and slid it back properly into place when he noticed her.
"Could you please go and call Teebu?" she asked gently.
Sol nodded and left. She approached slowly and kept the tray on his lap.
"Here you go, Lyor."
Mira made sure her voice remained soft and unhurried. She wiped the thin layer of sweat from her forehead with the back of her hand. Perhaps she truly did need more physical activity. Five houses' distance should not have left her this winded.
Lyor's eyes fixed on the tray the moment she uncovered it.
They glistened like Moonglass but in brown color.
"How much?" he asked quietly.
"What do you mean?" Mira tilted her head. "Do you want to know how much it weighs?"
He shook his head.
"How much do I have to pay for the food?"
Ah.
Ah
Mira cursed internally for not memorizing new words, as she was sure that she had heard that word before. Pay. It was in the list of strange terms some newcomers remembered. They kept such words written in a small book at the Verda, the village hall, trying to piece together meanings from fragments.
If she admitted she did not fully understand it, he might spiral again. She could not bear to see him crumble like that once more.
So she chose the words carefully and hoped she would not mess things up.
"Oh… no. You don't need to worry about that. Eat. You need to gain your strength first."
There was a brief hesitation.
Then, he picked up the spoon.
He examined each dish cautiously, as if unsure of what to eat first. Of course, he wouldn't know. All of these foods must be new to him. Or were they?
Mira offered a gentle guide. "Start with the porridge." She pointed. "It's mild and easy on your stomach. Then you can mix a little of the hyper beans," she pointed to the greenish dish in the corner of the tray, "...into it if you like. It gives it more flavor. The bread tastes best eaten with this meat. And this is pearfruit. It's sweet, so maybe save that for last."
He nodded slightly.
"Thank you for guiding me."
The tone was polite. His responses were too stoic, and if Mira had to choose a word, she would have said 'practiced'.
Her heart lightened when his eyes brightened at the first spoonful. He was trying very hard not to devour the food, chewing slowly, forcefully, and she could see the hunger beneath the restraint. The way his fingers tightened slightly around the spoon, the way it dug fast but lifted slow. The way his gaze flicked briefly to the remaining portions, calculating.
He must have been starving. And yet he had not asked for food. He even drank the plain water as if it tasted like something from paradise.
"Do you want more?" she asked with a warm smile. He shook his head quickly and began glancing around.
"What do you need?"
His gaze dropped to the empty dishes. "To wash."
"Oh, sweety." She reached for the tray. "You're still recovering. I'll take care of that. Why don't you lie back down?"
He hesitated again but did not argue.
"The village head is on the way. We'll just have a small talk, alright?" she added quickly when she noticed his shoulders tense. "Nothing to worry about. It's simply the traditional explanation we give to anyone who arrives in Nemeteia."
After a while, seemingly the food warmth settled in his stomach, his eyelids began to droop despite his effort to remain alert.
Just as he was close to dozing off, Teebu arrived, with Sol close behind him.