Amid the cheers, Alex—so drunk he could barely tell which direction he was walking—scooped Guy up in his arms. Surrounded by a noisy crowd, he was escorted to their newly improvised "wedding room" inside the tavern.
The others had also taken the time to prepare a room for Bai Liu and Spades. It was simple, but it looked festive enough.
Spades immediately bent down, clearly intending to imitate Alex and carry Bai Liu into the room.
Bai Liu calmly stopped him.
He lifted his gaze and glanced at Tang Erda, who had been standing among the crowd like a wooden statue for quite some time.
Tang Erda's expression was blank. He stared at Spades—and at the veil on Spades' head—for a long moment. Then he looked at Bai Liu's perfectly composed face. Finally, he slowly lowered his head and examined the wine bottle in his hand, turning it over as if checking the alcohol content to confirm he wasn't hallucinating.
He muttered dazedly, "Is there a monster here? Has my mental value dropped because of alienation…?"
Behind Bai Liu, Spades tried once more to lift him.
"No need," Bai Liu said calmly.
Spades looked up. "?"
"Alex carried Guy," Spades said sincerely. "Can't I carry you too?"
"—We don't need to," Bai Liu replied.
"Why?"
Bai Liu thought for a few seconds, then began fabricating nonsense with a perfectly straight face.
"—Alex was the one not wearing the wedding dress. He carried the one who was wearing it. It's not the one in the dress doing the carrying."
Spades let out a thoughtful "Oh."
Then, very naturally, he opened his arms and looked straight at Bai Liu, clearly waiting to be carried into the room instead.
Bai Liu slowly looked Spades up and down—from head to toe—taking in the fact that Spades was a full head taller than him.
"…You look too heavy," Bai Liu said flatly. "Forget it."
Spades fell silent.
After a moment, he lowered his arms and placed his hands neatly behind his back.
"Oh."
He stood there obediently, still watching Bai Liu steadily.
Bai Liu raised an eyebrow. "What now?"
"I'm not very heavy," Spades defended seriously. "Seventy-four kilograms. Only one hundred sixty-three pounds. You should try lifting me."
After saying that, he opened his arms again, face calm and expectant, radiating a quiet urgency of Please hurry and carry me into the room.
Bai Liu: "…"
"I really can't lift you," Bai Liu said evenly.
"But we're married. You should carry me in," Spades insisted. His gaze briefly shifted toward the room where Alex had carried Guy, then returned to Bai Liu. "Even drunk, Alex carried Guy, who weighs one hundred seventy-four pounds."
Spades lowered his eyes and explained calmly, "I am eleven pounds lighter than Guy."
Bai Liu: "…"
For some reason, Bai Liu felt faintly criticized.
He knew very well that even sober, he probably couldn't carry Spades properly. And drunk Spades was stubborn and extremely logical—he would not let this go without a reasonable explanation.
"It's true that I can't carry you," Bai Liu said with a faint smile. "But there is a certain 'tool' in my system panel that can transport you. I can use that tool to carry you inside. Is that acceptable?"
Spades thought for a moment.
Then he nodded.
That was reasonable. Bai Liu could use a game item—perhaps something like a floating mat that reduced weight.
One minute later.
Tang Erda's face was completely frozen.
He walked stiffly forward, arms stretched straight out in front of him like a malfunctioning food-delivery robot that had lost its central processor. His eyes stared blankly ahead, carefully avoiding looking at the "cargo" resting on his arms.
The "cargo" lay rigid and expressionless, hands placed neatly along the seams of his trousers.
Spades' entire body was perfectly straight, like a corpse in a coffin.
Because Tang Erda refused to actually support him, if Spades didn't keep himself rigid, he would simply roll off.
Even so, the slight bumps from Tang Erda's mechanical steps caused the perfectly straight Spades to wobble gently from side to side.
Fortunately, he did not fall.
Bai Liu walked beside them calmly, guiding the "delivery robot" toward the door of the new room.
Around them, a group of soldiers stared with dull, stunned expressions as Tang Erda transported Spades to Bai Liu's door.
Only after the door closed and the strange trio disappeared inside did the soldiers slowly recover.
One soldier swallowed hard. "God… what are they doing?"
"I know!" another soldier exclaimed excitedly. "It's an ancient Eastern wedding custom!"
The others turned to him curiously.
The soldier rubbed his hands together drunkenly. "I heard that ancient Eastern emperors would have their male subordinates carry their wives to the bridal chamber!"
"Something like this—" he gestured enthusiastically, "—they'd tie up the bride and have the subordinates carefully deliver her to the room."
He leaned in closer, lowering his voice mysteriously.
"To ensure the bride's chastity, those subordinates were usually castrated!"
The group let out a long, scandalized, gossip-filled "OHHHH—!"
One soldier stared in horror. "That tall recruit—?!"
The storyteller nodded solemnly. "Most likely."
Everyone sighed dramatically.
"But don't feel too bad for him," the storyteller added. "It was usually voluntary."
"Voluntary?!" The group gasped. "He's so tall and handsome, and he willingly did that to himself?!"
"Ancient Dongfeng civilization traditions," the soldier said sagely. "It symbolized loyalty. A way to better serve the king."
"That smaller one must have royal blood!" someone concluded.
Another collective "Ohhh—!"
Inside the room, utterly unaware of his newly assigned royal lineage, Bai Liu sat on the edge of the bed.
He glanced at the "Beloved Concubine" Spades, who lay perfectly straight on the mattress, and at Tang Erda, who stood beside the bed as if petrified.
"I… I'll leave first," Tang Erda said with difficulty.
He avoided looking at either of them and nearly fled through the back door of the room.
He still had no idea that, outside, he had already been declared castrated.
Spades lay quietly on the bed, staring at Bai Liu with an unwavering gaze.
Bai Liu turned his back to him. There was a faint smile in his voice as he spoke.
"I've shown you that Tang Erda is indeed in my system panel and counts as one of my tools."
"I didn't lie to you."
Spades turned over, buried his face in the pillow, and let out a muffled sound.
But soon, his mood seemed to calm down. He looked sideways at Bai Liu, who was sitting by the bed, unbuttoning his cuffs and taking off his coat. His eyes filled with curiosity again. "Are we going to do anything else tonight?"
"There's nothing to do," Bai Liu said.
He took off his coat and unbuttoned his shirt.
He didn't shy away from Spades' gaze. After changing his clothes, he lifted the quilt, lay down, smiled at Spades, and said good night.
Bai Liu reached out and turned off the lamp. Everything went dark, and soon his breathing became steady and even.
Spades, lying next to him, looked confused—his intuition told him that the marriage process had not yet been completed.
But he didn't know what to do next. It seemed that the two of them were lying on the bed, unable to do anything except sleep…
Spades turned over several times and finally whispered good night to Bai Liu before closing his eyes.
Bai Liu, who was pretending to be asleep, quietly curled the corners of his lips upward.
When Bai Liu was a child, whenever he wanted to avoid answering some of Xie Ta's questions, or when he had done something he didn't want Xie Ta to know about but had been found out, he would pretend to be asleep.
No matter what, Xie Ta would never disturb his sleep.
It seemed that this good habit had carried over to the present day.
But Bai Liu's smile froze halfway—strange sounds and the intertwined breathing of two people drifted in from another room, separated from theirs by only a single wall.
Bai Liu: "…"
Are the rooms in this tavern so poorly soundproofed?
Spades opened his eyes. Instead of disturbing Bai Liu, who was still pretending to sleep, he quietly knelt on one knee at the head of the bed, tilted his head, and pressed his ear against the wall—he had to know what the next steps of marriage were.
Bai Liu: "…"
He also opened his eyes and silently stared at Spades' profile in the darkness.
The voices of Guy and Alex were so intertwined that an ordinary person might not have been able to make out what they were mumbling between kisses. But Bai Liu and Spades now had high-level panels; their five senses were exceptionally sharp, allowing them to hear clearly.
"Oh God! Guy, Guy, you're so…!"
Guy's laughing voice drifted over. "Alex, um, please slow down—the condoms, I put them on the bedside… Hey, good boy, even if it's the wedding night, this is a must. Wear it."
Spades froze for a second or two, then turned to open the bedside table. Bai Liu had to sit up to stop him.
Bai Liu turned on the desk lamp and raised his eyes calmly. "What are you doing if you don't want to sleep?"
"I'm looking for the condoms in the bedside table," Spades replied.
Bai Liu paused for a moment. "What are you going to use them for?"
The voice from the other side of the wall suddenly grew shriller. "Oh my God! Guy—you're putting it on me with your mouth—God!"
"It's for wearing," Spades said, immediately understanding its purpose. He stared straight at Bai Liu's lips. "Do you also want to use your mouth to help—"
"Impossible," Bai Liu retorted calmly.
Spades looked at him. "Why is it impossible?"
Bai Liu took a deep breath and slowly exhaled.
He realized that Spades couldn't be fooled so easily this time.
Bai Liu looked away. His neck flushed red almost visibly, and the fingers hanging at his side twitched slightly. "——I can help you in other ways——"
"I don't want Tang Erda to help me put it on," Spades interrupted without hesitation. He looked directly at Bai Liu, knelt down, and pressed him gently against the wall. Then he leaned in until his lips hovered very, very close to Bai Liu's.
"I want you to do it."