Xavier's office has this weird smell, old books and expensive furniture polish mixed with something I can't quite place. I shift in the leather chair, hyper-aware of Emma Frost's leg nearly touching mine as she sits beside me, her white outfit somehow making the small space between us feel even smaller.
"So as Shaw hit me," I continue, gesturing with my hands, "I didn't really think. I just... redirected the damage. All of it. I didn't realize it would kill her."
Xavier's fingers are steepled beneath her chin as she listens, her blue eyes never leaving my face. There's no judgment there, just intense focus. Scotty stands by the window, arms crossed over her chest, her expression unreadable behind that ruby quartz visor.
"And Mastermind?" Xavier prompts gently.
I swallow hard. This is the part I've been dreading. "She... she made me see my parents. Both of them, like merged together into this monster. I lost control. I just kept hitting and hitting, and I couldn't stop."
"The boy acted in self-defense, Charlene," Emma says, her British accent making even this simple statement sound sophisticated. "Mastermind was a master illusionist and a terrorist. What she did to his mind was assault, plain and simple."
I glance at Emma, surprised by her defense. She meets my gaze with those ice-blue eyes, and something passes between us, some understanding I can't quite name.
Xavier sighs, leaning back in her wheelchair. "Jack, I want to be clear about something. You're not in trouble. First missions rarely go as planned, and you were facing two extremely dangerous mutants without proper preparation."
The knot in my stomach loosens slightly. "So... you're not kicking me out?"
Scotty makes a sound that might be a laugh. "For killing Shaw? Half the mutant world would throw you a parade."
"Any mutant's death is a tragedy, Jack. We're so few in this world, and each loss diminishes us." Xavier pauses, her fingers tapping thoughtfully against her desk. "However, these two in particular..." She sighs heavily, looking older suddenly. "It's sad, but they were actively killing children. I cannot condemn your actions under those circumstances."
I nod, relief washing through me, though a knot of anxiety still sits heavy in my stomach.
"What does concern me," Xavier continues, her piercing gaze finding mine again, "is why you killed them. The extreme violence you described with Mastermind suggests something deeper than just battlefield necessity."
"I know," I admit, looking down at my hands. They're clean now, but I can still see the blood if I close my eyes. "That's why I'm being so open about all this. I... I don't want to be that person."
Xavier's expression warms. "And I am incredibly appreciative that you brought this up to us, Jack. Your honesty speaks volumes. Without your account, we wouldn't have known the full extent of what you did."
"Yeah," Emma chimes in beside me, her voice cool and amused, "I certainly wasn't going to snitch on you."
"Don't joke like that, Emma," Scotty snaps from her position by the window. "You're still on thin ice even if you work here now."
I turn to Emma, surprised. "You're an X-Woman now?"
Emma's lips curve into a smile that makes my pulse quicken. "I asked my students if they wanted to go to Genosha or come here here." Her eyes find mine, bright with an almost manic gleam of delight. "They said here."
"That's good..." I manage, though I have absolutely no idea if it's good or not from a strategic or political standpoint. All I know is that this impossibly beautiful woman is going to be around more often, and some primitive part of my brain is doing cartwheels at the prospect. Her smile widens as she looks at me.
"Jack," Xavier says firmly, drawing my attention back to her, "let's return to the topic at hand." Her voice is gentle but leaves no room for argument. "Emotional outbursts aren't exactly uncommon on missions, especially for newer team members. These things do happen, particularly when forced to confront things we may not be ready for."
Xavier tents her fingers. "But, by all accounts, Jack, you seem to be handling things reasonably well, considering the circumstances. I did take the liberty of performing a brief mental scan, and your cognitive functions appear perfectly intact despite the trauma."
My eyebrows shoot up. "You were in my head?"
"Just a surface scan," she assures me. "Nothing invasive. But given what you've experienced, both with your parents and now on the battlefield, the team and I were thinking it might be beneficial for you to speak with someone regularly. Perhaps once a week?"
"Like... therapy?"
Xavier nods, her expression warm but firm. "Exactly like therapy. Mental health is just as important as physical training, especially given your particular power set and history."
"Did you know," Emma cuts in, leaning close enough that I barely look away from her cleavage, "that I actually have a certification in family therapy? Advanced degree and everything." Her smile is all teeth and ambition. "Small world, isn't it?"
I blink at her, trying to process this information. Emma Frost, the woman who looks like she stepped off a runway in that barely-there white outfit, is a therapist? The concept is so bizarre I almost laugh.
"You're a therapist?" I ask, unable to keep the skepticism from my voice.
"Among other things," she replies smoothly. "I find that understanding the human mind makes it so much easier to... influence it."
Xavier clears her throat. "Emma is an exceptional telepath, Jack. Her understanding of mental health is quite extensive, if somewhat... unorthodox in application."
"I'm the best there is at what I do," Emma says with a wink that makes my cheeks burn.
Scotty makes a noise that sounds suspiciously like a snort. "We haven't decided who you'll be working with yet," she says, clearly trying to steer the conversation back on track. "There are several options we're considering."
"I volunteer," Emma says immediately, her hand drifting to rest on my forearm. Her touch is cool but sends heat racing up my arm nonetheless. "Jack and I already have such a nice rapport, don't we?"
I swallow hard, feeling the weight of Emma's hand on my arm like an electric current. Her touch makes it difficult to focus on the actual conversation. "Um, what are the other options?" I ask, trying to sound casual despite the fact that my brain's currently short-circuiting from Emma's proximity.
Xavier tilts her head slightly, fingers still steepled beneath her chin. "Well, realistically, it would either be Emma or Gene. They're our most qualified telepaths, and both have extensive training in psychological support."
"Emma," I say without even a second's hesitation. The word leaves my mouth so quickly it's almost embarrassing. I don't even need to think about it, the choice between Gene's obvious disdain for me versus Emma's... well, whatever this intense interest is... it's not even a contest.
Scotty shifts her weight by the window, and I catch a slight nod of her head. There's something in her posture that suggests she understands exactly why I made my choice.
"That's fair," Scotty says simply, her tone neutral but not disapproving.
Emma's smile widens beside me, and I feel her fingers give my arm a subtle squeeze before she withdraws her hand. The victory in her eyes is unmistakable, like a predator who's just cornered particularly interesting prey. I should probably be concerned about that, but honestly? After surviving my parents, Sentinels, and now killing two people, Emma Frost's hidden intentions don't even crack my top ten worries.
"Excellent," Xavier says, bringing the meeting to a close. "Emma, please work with Jack to establish a regular schedule. And Jack, remember that healing isn't just physical. Give this process the time it needs."
"Okay."