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"I'll go. I'm already nearby. You stay on standby."
The moment the message was sent, Negasonic Teenage Warhead didn't hesitate.
She shot out from under the bed like a launched missile.
Eve froze in terror as a dark-clad figure suddenly appeared in her bedroom.
Before she could scream, a hand gently but firmly covered her mouth.
"Don't make a sound," Negasonic whispered calmly. "You've probably seen me before. I'm Piotr's teammate. I'll handle the bad guys. You two… carry on."
She flashed the phone screen in front of Eve's eyes.
CRIMINAL IN EVE'S ROOM
Eve: ???
Before confusion could become panic, Negasonic released her, pivoted, opened the window without a second thought, and leapt out.
Move faster.
Maybe I can still catch the second half.
---
Outside the building, Colossus had already stepped out the front door when his phone vibrated.
He checked it.
He froze.
Negasonic would be fine. Ordinary mutants weren't a problem for her. She just needed to charge up and blast through.
That wasn't the issue.
The issue was… him.
Should he go back?
That would look strange. He had just said he was leaving.
If he didn't go back…
The "bad guys" would be handled by Negasonic. If he failed to return and Eve later saw news reports saying the situation was resolved nearby, she might think he simply used it as an excuse to leave.
That would be terrible.
Colossus stood outside the building, torn between heroism and romance.
Inside the bedroom, Eve scratched her head in confusion.
What was she supposed to do now?
Call him back?
But she couldn't reveal Negasonic's involvement.
Under the bed, Deadpool watched Eve's feet wiggle rapidly in nervous thought.
Experienced driver that he was, he understood immediately.
Colossus was probably outside pacing in moral agony.
Deadpool casually raised his hand.
The trash can beside the desk trembled slightly.
Thump!
It tipped over loudly.
Eve jumped.
Her eyes fell to the scattered trash.
Then they lit up.
Brilliant.
She hurriedly gathered the trash, tied up the bag, grabbed her keys, and rushed out the door.
Yukio gave Deadpool a thumbs-up.
"As expected of you."
"Shhh—"
Deadpool raised a finger.
Footsteps approached.
"Oh, Piotr? You…"
"I just received a message. My colleague will handle the bad guys."
"So you're free?"
"Yes… I am."
"How did you get out?"
"The trash was full. I wanted to throw it out. Together?"
"Of course. I'd be delighted."
Under the bed, Deadpool and Yukio exchanged identical auntie smiles.
Mission saved.
---
When their voices faded down the hall, the two crawled out and sat casually on the bed.
"Where have you been all this time, Wade?" Yukio asked softly.
"That's a long story."
"Then make it short."
"First, I kicked an American muscular posterior twice. Then I fought zombies. Then I heroically sacrificed myself in a nuclear explosion. After resurrecting, I came back."
He folded his arms proudly.
"Short enough?"
Yukio pouted. "You could've just said you were home."
"Alright. I was home."
Yukio stared at him.
Deadpool shrugged.
"See? You're not satisfied either way."
Heh. Women.
---
The front door opened again.
The duo instantly dove back under the bed in perfect synchronization.
Footsteps.
The bedroom door opened.
Two familiar pairs of feet entered.
"That day," Eve began, sitting on the bed, "I was sleeping in when I heard a huge bang. I thought the building exploded."
Colossus stood near the door, uneasy.
"Then you burst in," she continued. "You scared me."
"It was Wade's fault," Colossus muttered darkly.
"Did you really not see him that day?" he asked carefully.
"No," Eve shook her head. "I was blindfolded at first. But I heard the door open, so I removed it. Then the door shattered."
"He must've teleported out the window," Colossus said.
Eve frowned.
"But I always close the window when I sleep. Wasn't it closed that day?"
Colossus paused.
It had been closed.
If Wade escaped that way, he wouldn't have had time to close it again.
Under the bed, Yukio turned slowly toward Deadpool.
Her eyes asked clearly:
How did you do that?
Deadpool closed his eyes.
Playing dead.
Advanced skill level.
"Could he have hidden under the bed?" Colossus suddenly asked.
Deadpool: ∑(￣□￣;)
Yukio: ∑(￣□￣;)
"Probably not…" Eve teased. "You didn't secretly search while I was unconscious, did you?"
"How could I do that?" Colossus replied earnestly. "There is an old saying: 'Look not at what is improper. Listen not to what is improper. Speak not what is improper. Do not move in ways that are improper.' It is very reasonable."
Eve blinked.
"That sounds wise. Where did you learn it?"
Colossus's face darkened.
"Wade taught me."
Eve: …
Colossus: …
Under the bed:
Three black lines simultaneously appeared across two foreheads.
What nonsense was this?!
You already broke the door down, and now you're quoting philosophy?
If you're going to quote something, at least make it romantic.
Deadpool silently mourned the lost opportunity.
---
"He really is… interesting," Eve admitted softly.
"He is," Colossus sighed. "He is righteous. Intelligent. But he walks the wrong path."
"I'd like to meet him someday."
"When I bring him back to the X-Men," Colossus said firmly, "you will."
He hadn't given up on recruiting Wade.
Not even slightly.
Eve glanced at the empty space beside her.
Her cheeks tinted pink.
"By the way… are you going to keep standing there? Or are you going to 'make no movement which is improper'?"
Under the bed:
Here it comes.
Here it comes!
Colossus's entire face turned red.
He awkwardly scratched his cheek and shuffled over to sit beside her.
Eve gently leaned her head against his shoulder.
Broad.
Warm.
Solid.
Colossus froze.
Completely stiff.
His whole body trembled slightly.
Eve smiled softly.
"What? First time someone leaned on you like this?"
Colossus hesitated.
"…No."
Under the bed:
Deadpool slowly widened his eyes.
Oh?
Eve lifted her head slightly.
"Who else has leaned on you? I thought you've never been in a relationship."
Colossus looked away.
Memories flashed.
Metallic arms.
Red suit.
A certain loud mercenary clinging dramatically during battles.
Under the bed—
Deadpool silently prayed.
Please don't say my name.
Please don't say my name.
Colossus cleared his throat.
"…Wade once leaned on me."
Silence.
Under the bed, Yukio and Deadpool simultaneously covered their faces.
Colossus continued earnestly.
"He was injured. I carried him. He leaned on my shoulder."
Eve stared.
"…That's not the same."
Under the bed:
Deadpool whispered faintly,
"It counts."
Yukio elbowed him sharply.
Outside, unaware of the chaotic commentary beneath the mattress, Colossus sat rigidly as Eve leaned closer again.
This time, he didn't pull away.
Under the bed, Deadpool sighed.
"Colossus's life… truly worthwhile."
He paused.
"…And if we're lucky…"
He glanced at Yukio.
"…we might still make it to the second half."