He had been coming for psychological counseling for three days, and it was only now that Shiki Ryougi finally spoke of her distress to him for the first time.
Shiki nodded slowly.
"In that case, as far as you are concerned, those aren't memories at all—they are just information!" Haruka Kasugano laughed.
"Information... then what am I supposed to do from now on?" Shiki asked, troubled.
"You look quite distressed. What are you worried about? Are you upset because you can't empathize with this information, and thus feel you can't properly play the role of the 'Shiki' from before?" Haruka Kasugano smiled.
"Actually, there's no need to play your former self. The 'you' of right now is the real you. You don't need to make things difficult for yourself just to satisfy the eyes of the world."
Under the influence of his skills [Narrator], [Incitement], and the ultimate psychological counseling skill [In That Era, Once More!], Haruka Kasugano's words carried a potent magic.
"I am the me of now... I don't need to care about past memories?" Shiki murmured to herself.
"Exactly. You don't need to force yourself to act like your old self, nor do you need to force yourself to like things you used to like—especially people you used to like," Haruka Kasugano continued to manipulate.
"Mmh... you're right..." Shiki nodded. She agreed with his logic. After all, playing a character is exhausting work. Trying to express affection for strangers just because her memory told her she liked them was a suffocating prospect.
Compared to the Mikiya Kokutou in her memories from two years ago, Shiki actually felt the name "Haruka Kasugano" was much more intimate. It felt as if, during her most helpless moments in the void, it was this name that had accompanied her.
Furthermore, as she smelled Haruka Kasugano's scent from a close distance, it felt incredibly familiar. Although she didn't know why, her body seemed to have long since recognized and accepted this man's scent, it didn't resist him at all.
"I have another question... about my urge to kill. In the information from two years ago, I always resisted it. According to those records, I thought it was SHIKI's influence, but I still have the impulse now... It seems the problem lies with me," Shiki said, having lowered her guard as she continued to pour out her heart.
She was treating him exactly as she treated Touko Aozaki in the original story, only Haruka Kasugano had stolen Touko's role.
"What should I do? Before, it seems I suppressed my killing impulse just to fit into society and the moral world. What about now?"
"Everyone has such tendencies, especially when they are wronged, framed, or in danger. You are in a similar situation now. Because of your dual personality, you feel a sense of rejection toward society, feeling like a monster. This creates insecurity, and that insecurity triggers a psychological defense mechanism—the killing impulse," Haruka Kasugano bluffed smoothly.
"Currently, because you dislike the old 'information' but everyone expects you to live according to it, you feel insecure and hollow. That triggers the defense mechanism again. My suggestion is: do not suppress yourself. Release your impulse!"
"Then... am I still human? Can I still be accepted by a moral world?" Shiki questioned. This was the fundamental reason she suppressed herself, she wanted to belong.
But Haruka Kasugano wasn't about to let her fall into that trap. "Why not? Since you have this impulse, there are many ways to solve it! You could become a police officer and vent that impulse on criminals! You could join the military and vent it on enemies! What's wrong with that?"
"Of course, I have another option: you can work for me! I am a magus. Magi aren't 'people' in the normal sense, you can kill them as you please. They aren't bound by common morality. You can kill as many as you want! There is only one principle for killing: 'Slay the Evil!' As long as you believe they are a bad person, you can kill them."
Immediately following this, Haruka Kasugano gifted Shiki a short sword. At the same time, he activated the skill [Gift of the Star], which nourished her soul and filled her with a sense of gratitude.
Shiki was instantly moved. She gripped her bedsheets tightly, as if engaging in a fierce tug-of-war with her deep-seated moral concepts.
"Think it over slowly. I'll see you tomorrow!" Haruka Kasugano smiled and left. The plan was moving in a perfect direction.
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That night, Shiki couldn't sleep. She felt an overwhelming sense of loneliness. The hospital was deathly quiet, and with the bandages over her eyes, there was only darkness.
For the first time since her birth, she felt lonely—and even felt fear because of it. She never used to feel this way because SHIKI was always inside her, she always had a companion. But now, she was truly alone. Because she had no empathy for the "information" of the past two years, she didn't even know if she was Shiki or SHIKI. She only assumed she was Shiki because the voice of the other was gone.
"I want to go in..."
Shiki suddenly heard a voice. Then, she saw spirits. Even with her eyes covered, she could see these formless things. This was the effect of her Mystic Eyes of Death Perception. Her eyes were of the highest grade, possessing "spiritual sight" that allowed her to see what others could not.
The reason her eyes were superior to Shiki Tohno's was fundamentally because her physical body touched the Root, allowing her to bear the load of the eyes. Tohno, unable to do so, suffered from chronic headaches before receiving his "Mystic Eye Killers" from Aoko Aozaki. Furthermore, during her two-year coma, Shiki had perceived the "concept of death" within the void and understood its existence. She could kill conceptual things, not just physical ones.
Because of the void in her heart, the ghosts in the hospital believed her body was "empty" and sought to possess her. But that was impossible—her body was far from empty. Still, the formless ghosts shocked her, and their touch felt freezing cold. She felt like she was experiencing sleep paralysis, unable to move.
But in the next second, she felt warmth. A familiar scent embraced her. It was the scent of that talkative teacher from earlier that day. For some reason, despite being held by him, she didn't feel repulsed. It was as if her body loved and was long acquainted with this sensation.
"My, my, I didn't expect ghosts in this hospital," Haruka Kasugano laughed. "Forget it, I'll draw a barrier here for you. Just get some sleep!"
After he left, Shiki realized something. It's the middle of the night—why were you in the hospital? Oh well... since he solved the problem and the ghosts were gone, drowsiness hit her instantly.
--------------
The next day, Haruka Kasugano returned to chat.
"Meddling in other people's business," Shiki blurted out coldly.
"Ahahaha, I wouldn't call it that. Being haunted is a psychological issue too, isn't it? I had to step in!" Haruka Kasugano laughed heartily.
"Hmph..." Shiki snorted. She didn't press him on why he was in her room at midnight.
They chatted for a long time. Shiki told him about things in her memory, asking him to analyze them. Today, she spoke of SHIKI.
"I don't remember the situation back then, but usually, I was the one using the body. If the accident caused a personality to die, it should have been me. SHIKI, being in the background, should have taken over. Why is the reality the opposite?"
"He likely chose to die in your place," Haruka Kasugano said. "I can only guess, but I suspect he wanted you to live and experience a beautiful future more than himself, who only knew how to kill."
"Idiot..." Shiki couldn't help but whisper.
"Then you should fulfill his wish. Live seriously and find happiness," Haruka Kasugano smiled.
Shiki didn't speak. However, from that point on, her manner of speaking and acting began to lean more masculine, as if reminding herself that he was once a part of her.
--------------
Night fell again. Because of the barrier Haruka Kasugano set up, the ghosts didn't return. Paradoxically, she felt a bit disappointed. Everything she "owned" belonged to the old Shiki, she didn't even know why she was alive. She felt she might as well have been killed by a ghost.
As soon as that thought crossed her mind, she remembered Haruka Kasugano's words. Under the influence of his skill, his words were incredibly persuasive. She abandoned her self-destructive thoughts. Live on... even if not for myself, then for SHIKI. It was his final wish. She wanted to feel what "happiness" was.
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The next day, Haruka Kasugano visited again.
"The doctor says you can be discharged in two days. Happy?"
"You're the happy one, since you got a free employee!" Shiki retorted.
"What are you saying? I'll definitely pay you wages!" Haruka Kasugano laughed.
They chatted a while longer before Haruka Kasugano left.