"Alright, that's everything." I said aloud, finishing setting traps and homemade alarms in my apartment.
On the rising parts of the windows—which at my place lift two-thirds up—I placed toothpicks in the gaps. One toothpick also in the joint between front door and wall. Tripwire on the bed. Not the grenade kind... From headboard to headboard, I strung a barely visible thread. Bed's right by the windowsill, so window intruder lands on it. One step, thread snaps—and spotting/bypassing it neatly is tough.
Tripwires also at front door and kitchen window. Plus, I bought ten sheets of special chakra-absorbing paper. Academy taught not just punching and throwing cold steel. There's seals and security techniques. They only teach "hidden" marks and basic paper use. Simple sealing/unsealing scrolls. Dangerous scroll sealing. Basic paper seal making.
I went beyond Academy standards. Sasuke and I dug through not just public library but surviving clan one too—with tons of specialized lit.
From there, I got useful stuff like the technique blocking even Byakugan from seeing through my place. But it guzzles chakra, lasts max a day before recharge, and making those seals needs high focus and chakra spend. Blood's used in tons of techniques too. Explosive seals...
On my curtains' inside, I drew bloody kanji tightening fabric with extra chakra and partially shielding from foreign chakra intrusion. Not absolute, but gives shinobi-sensors headaches. No see-through my pad now. On stealth entry, not sure. Shinobi bypassing tripwires/toothpicks ain't hard. Even I could if I wanted—and I'm not far from genin level now. But as last resort, I leave three-four shadow clones near house/apartment masked with Transformation atop. Technique lets turning into junk like mailboxes, plush toys, birdhouses.
Fine-fine... No birdhouses here, but tree junk galore—my compliments. Kids' forts, real bird feeders, Tarzans, swings, decorations.
I don't mind air freshener indoors and overuse it—street smells ain't always great. Apartment plumbing ain't like my world's; covering toilet lid here necessity, not whim. In apartment, one shadow clone hid bed corner, transformed into big soft monkey plush.
Knowing this world has more presence detection than mine, on leaving I use freshener in sealed apartment and douse the clone good to mask its scent. Even Inuzuka Clan shinobi noses won't sniff my clone in my place.
Was there reason for this?
Well...
Yes and no... I knew it'd happen eventually and pondered reactions, but when the old geezer really snuck into my apartment about a week pre-graduation, I got pissed for real.
Back then, only toothpicks/tripwires for defense—but Hokage spotted 'em all. No inside clone, but an outside one saw the old geezer leaving; I learned on dispelling them post-Academy.
I knew ANBU watched me for sure. Those guys are pros. Rarely slip, but post-shadow clone mastery and info processing from clones, blurry corner-eye motions, footsteps here, no dust on same roof spot, alley shadow... Too many "coincidences" normals chalk to "thought I saw/heard" or miss. Means I'm watched, but didn't bug me much. ANBU at least respect private property. But Gramps... He overstepped. After, I rehid two full notebooks—one under desk drawer in hand-sawn double-bottom cell. One in mattress side hole (stitched shut). That first notebook's old, full; I pull it monthly max to cross-check/refresh.
No signs Gramps found notebooks, but he likely got the desk one—ANBU reported my nightly notes for sure. But it's Gramps... No traces.
Now notebooks plastic-wrapped, buried under tree near home. I busted ass misleading ANBU, village-running alternating clones/transformation so they don't blow the op.
So... If I were the old geezer, I'd use assignment to slot Kakashi here like anime. Surprise awaits...
Speaking of, time to settle my look—it's changed yearly.
Graduation gave triple stipend; mine plus orphan pension till 14 (local law: work from 14, ninja exception). Majority at 17. Triple stipend issued day post-headbands for weapons/gear useful for "ninja work." Top five honors get double. Worth busting ass... I'd got double two years running. No savings. Double barely covered extra food, stationery, frequent new clothes, consumables like air freshener. Ramen etc...
Here, three doubles. Top honors get Lord-Hokage bonus ~another double. That's when I splurged.
Kunai, sharpeners, shuriken, fishing line, rope, explosive seals, scrolls, paper, stationery, new belts, pouches, clothes, field/home medkits, emergency rations. Plus anti-Gramps paper for apartment barriers. That cost most.
Splurged on barber too—hair getting annoying. Sides buzzed to 8mm, top trimmed short slicked back. Back shortened. Decent even with my color. Blond ain't easy... In my world, this look'd peg me non-traditional orientation on the block.
Found dark leather jacket, dark-blue field pants. Wider belt for gear. Hand-finished jacket: sewed Uzumaki Clan crest patch left arm. New boots—quality this time; better blow cash than suffer.
Under jacket: tank tops (white/gray/black) or two white tees.
Jacket mods took work. Added zipper tab at collar inside, detached fur lining from winter jacket, attached to leather. Took tries, but good. Now daily wear min year-and-half till outgrow. Added big inside pockets with zippers; stuffed shinobi vest plates. Main bet speed/clones, but armor for stray hits good.
Leaving apartment, locked door, pulled headband with Leaf forehead protector from pouch. Tied at nape, leaped from floor down, headed Academy.
Arrived near-last, nearly late. Traps took longer than thought. But for tardiness, always someone worse—Shikamaru. He'd grown ponytail-worthy hair. All gawked at my new look/'do, but only Shikamaru laughed aloud.
"Hey, Naruto." He approached Sasuke and me—Sasuke staring out window waiting jonin. "Now you look like a real shinobi." He teased.
"Laugh it up..." I leaned back on bench. "You in that mesh shirt—think who you look like?" I shot back.
He really wore that anime S1 clan-symbol jacket over short-sleeve mesh tee; with Japanese face/ponytail... Not hilarious, but he'd VIP my city's gay club ahead of me.
"Girls won't fall for a guy like you anyway—don't hope." He kept poking.
"So I blew cash on gear; you could've chatted Ino a bit instead of fat... Er, Choji. You're on her team after all—might work out."
"Nah her..." He waved off. "She's got only Sasuke on mind anyway." Sasuke snorted loudly. "How you know? Think they'll tradition-slot us like ancestors?"
"Yup..." I nodded. "Obvious."
"Damn..." He eye-covered, annoyed. "You sat with Sasuke for nothing then—they might split you lovebirds..."
"Wrong there... We're teamed, though unsure on girl add-on." I stated.
"Whence such confidence?"
"Just..." Hands behind head, relaxed. "One old geezer promised..."
"Old geez..." Shikamaru started, cut off, twitched, eyebrow/mouth corner jerking nervously. "Damn... Naruto. Don't say that aloud about Lord-Hokage."
"Pff..." I replied. Then Teacher Iruka arrived; circus stopped. All sat quick. Sasuke changed style too—not anime self, hair untrimmed. Field shirt tailored perfect tucked in my-style field pants. Dracula collar, black tee peeking. Wide belt like mine with pouches. Pants in boots. Proper. Others anime-ish. No clue why Hinata in sports jacket—summer. Sakura/Ino cool overlays over sporty/tight gear with attachments.
Sasuke's right arm in elbow glove, fingers out; attached bracers. Too pricey for me—I stuck to boxer-style elastic bandage wrap.
Iruka started with boring-ass commencement speech.
By the way, the teams didn't start from number one, and they were all jumbled up in general. First, he read off Hinata's team, Kiba, and Shino. Shino—that's a separate reason for a special lecture. Personally, I think people like that should be subjected to inhumane experiments in dentistry and proctology, as well as clinical psychiatry. I didn't mention him because, well, what is there to say about him? He's the embodiment of the word "inconspicuous." Even his face is hard to make out because of those blind people's glasses, and he walks around in a coat with a high collar. In the locker room, I've seen Shino a couple of times without the glasses and coat—he looks like a perfectly ordinary guy. Personally, he seemed to me to be very similar to Pushkin, as I remember him from the portraits. Yes, that very Alexander Sergeyevich Pushkin. Shino didn't look Japanese at all.
Kiba had already become the proud owner of a puppy that annoyed me back in the Academy—thankfully, they gave it to him in the last year of training, but still... That mutt was constantly yapping and trying to steal my food. Ino, by the way, almost killed Akamaru for pissing in her boots while we were in the gym. He himself, for some reason, was sitting in a hooded jacket with a fur collar.
Then InoShikaCho, and finally, us.
"Team Seven! Naruto Uzumaki!"
"Here!" I shouted, jumping to my feet.
"Sakura Haruno!"
"Here..." she said uncertainly from the first row, where she was sitting with the Tatar girls whose names I'd forgotten.
"Sasuke Uchiha!" At that moment, I elbowed him in the side so he'd deign to lift his ass off the bench and respond.
"Here."
Ken, by the way, ended up on a team with the second guy from those who made it into the Academy from the orphanage with me, and they got one of the Tatar girls as a bonus. Judging by their scores, they won't pass the jonin trials.
When the assignments were done, Iruka said goodbye to all of us one more time, wished us luck, and told us to gather back here in two hours. A jonin personally appointed by the Hokage would come for each team.
Jonin here are like senior officers.
As far as I understood it, Genin are the enlisted ranks, best case sergeants and senior sergeants depending on strength, position, and years of service.
Chunin are junior officers from lieutenant to captain inclusive. They usually wear vests, though many older genin do too, but the distinguishing feature for chunin is usually a special badge on the collar or chest. Wherever they pin it...
Jonin are senior officers. From major to colonel inclusive, if using analogies from our world's military ranks. They seem to have badges too, but everyone knows them by sight and most jonin don't wear theirs anyway. There's maybe around a hundred of them in the whole village at best.
The Hokage, accordingly, is a general.
In my notebook, I assigned Kakashi the rank of colonel, since he's basically elite of the elite and effectively the Hokage's trusted man.
Iruka asked me to come to his office in half an hour before he left the classroom. Sakura, starting to clown around toward Ino, hurried over to sit with me and Sasuke. He didn't seem too happy that they stuck her with us. I didn't care either way—on one hand, Ino would be more useful, but on the other, Sakura was still the best option if she learned virtuoso chakra control and medical techniques, but right now she was trying her hardest to get at Sasuke with her stupid questions about how he was doing and suggestions to go somewhere together.
"I'll go see Iruka..."
"Uh-huh..." came signs of life from Sasuke after three days. "I'll wait on the roof. We need to talk." He finally decided. Hard to blame him for anything, but these long, silent ponderings of his...
"Buy some food then!" I added from the doorway.
"Make do without!" I heard in response.
Knock-knock...
"Teacher Iruka, permission to enter?"
"Yes, come in, Naruto." He stood up and came out from behind the desk. Closing the door behind me and turning around, I saw the adult man bowing to me. This was definitely a grateful bow. Couldn't go lower without getting on his knees. "Naruto, I thank you for..."
"Oh, come on, Teacher Iruka, no need to bow, especially to me." I interrupted him.
"Still, I have to say..." He straightened up and continued. "You saved my life. If it weren't for you back then, then... Anyway, thank you, Naruto." He automatically gave another bow.
"You only called me in for that? You could've treated me to ramen instead—I was in a rush and didn't have breakfast."
"Heh... Deal, but no, not only that." His office was buried in papers and scrolls. It's been a while since I've been here... He went to the cabinet, opened it, and took out a short katana with a white hilt in dark blue scabbards with a silvered oval guard and handed it to me. "Here... I see you're into Kendo. I think a real sword will suit you better than that stick."
"Teacher Iruka... I don't even know..." I said, genuinely stunned by the gift. Now that's how you show real gratitude, and here I am nagging him about some ramen. Felt kinda awkward.
To make it clear, you can't just buy a sword here. Swords are always custom-made, and it's long and very expensive. All my graduation payouts probably would've been enough for the shittiest katana that'd break in a year if not sooner. This sword was clearly not shitty. Taking it in hand, I gauged its weight with the scabbard at about a kilogram. I'd prefer a hand-and-a-half katana, but this thing was pretty good considering my size. Overall, for me, it's a solid working one-handed katana.
"This sword belonged to my father, and my grandfather forged it. It's capable of absorbing chakra. If you learn to use a weapon like that, you'll become a very strong shinobi and chunin rank is guaranteed." Iruka explained while I pulled the weapon from its scabbard and admired my reflection in the blade.
"Thank you..." I replied, sliding the sword back into the sheath. "I... I have no words, Teacher. Just thank you."
"Well, we've overcome all these obstacles, Sarutobi-sama." Said the tall ninja in standard Leaf gear. His headband was pulled to the side, covering his left eye, below which a deep scar was visible. His head had a dirty-gray crew cut, and a cloth mask was pulled up to the bridge of his nose. One eye was somewhere between European and Asian, but since most of his face was hidden, it was hard to say exactly what he looked like.
"Heh-heh..." Replied the elderly man in a hooded cloak with long sleeves, stepping over another tripwire as he went from the kitchen to the bedroom. "Don't forget to put the toothpicks back in the same places later, Kakashi."
"Will do, Sarutobi-sama. What exactly did you want to show me?"
The old man took off his hood and, extending his hands toward the table without touching it, as if by magic, pulled out the bottom section from the chest of drawers in the table and made it float to the middle of the room, gently lowering it.
"You use techniques for that?" Kakashi asked in surprise.
"Take a look at the section itself where you'd normally touch it with your hand." The old man said.
"Hm... Yeah, it's smeared with syrup there. The air freshener hid the smell. The kid clearly overuses it."
"Look... Here." The old man showed the notebook hidden inside the table in a homemade cavity covered with a lid.
"Well, damn... For storing secret data, it's weak, but for a kid..."
"That's what I thought." The old man said, using a wind hand to fetch the notebook and set it on the table. "Last time I couldn't make sense of anything, but this..." He pointed to the incomprehensible notes in the notebook. "This clearly means something."
"May I?" Kakashi cautiously reached for the notebook. The old man nodded, and he started flipping through it quickly, trying to understand the entries.
"The only thing I figured out is it's some other language. Maybe made up. Your Sharingan can't help with deciphering?"
"Not sure... Oh, looks like he writes in ours too, on the last page... Seems like it's for you..."
"Greetings to anyone reading these lines, especially nosy old Lord-Hokage who clearly weren't taught not to stick their long noses into other people's notebooks!" It said on the last page.
"That little brat..." The old man started to grumble when suddenly the monkey lying on the bed dispelled the transformation technique, making Kakashi and the Hokage whirl around sharply. The latter immediately put the notebook back on the table.
"Good day, esteemed sirs." My clone greeted them, standing up to full height on the bed. "I take it the laws of our village, specifically the section on the right to inviolability of dwelling, are written unclearly or not for the esteemed Lord Hokage and one of the jonin?" The clone said with clear emphasis. I'd thought long about how to react and decided to go for conflict and rub some pepper in their noses.
"Naruto, so you're... This isn't quite what you're talking about, we're here to..."
"I don't give a shit, sorry, about your motives. You're where you shouldn't be! As far as I know, clan territory can be defended by ANY means, and this is a straight-up invasion."
"Clan territory?" Kakashi said questioningly in a low voice, trying to subtly move his hand behind his back.
"Look at your uniform, dumbass. The red whirlpool mean nothing to you?"
"Uzumaki Clan symbol?!" The old man said questioningly. "Naruto, let's not talk in those tones and calm down. I understand you're upset, but..."
"I AM the Uzumaki Clan! Hasn't sunk in yet?! Then how about this..." The clone unzipped his jacket and showed twenty-four explosive seals stuck to the inside and a ring on a metal cord leading to one of them. "I'm not joking, old man. As I said, I don't care about your motives—you either don't respect your own laws or me personally, which is worse! I'm prepared to defend my territory by any means, and I have one demand: get the fuck out! Killing you wouldn't be enough, but it'd blow the apartment to hell and make a racket." While I said this, the old man with a stunned face instantly hid his hands under his cloak and was probably ready to use some technique. I realized that when I dispelled the clone. Not easy to notice right away... Damn... Kage level ain't just some Jewish grandpa...
"I understand you." He said and closed his eyes. "Kakashi, let's go." The jonin, who had clearly managed to draw his weapon carefully without taking his eyes off me, replied in a low voice.
"As you command." And they really left! Phew...
The clones on the neighboring roof and tree saw them both jump down to the road and hurry away. After that, the clone with the explosives who had gone out the window after them to receive the observer clones' report dispelled, and all the info went straight to my head.
On the way out of Iruka's office, my head suddenly started hurting badly, and I made it to the roof massaging my temples and breathing heavily. An unpleasant talk with Sasuke awaited, and now my head was already splitting from the accumulated thoughts about the conflict with Gramps that had already happened. Situation was, to put it mildly, very unpleasant. Gramps might retaliate, and that raises a question...
What can he even do to me?
Maybe, because of my Nine-Tails Jinchuriki status—nothing. The conflict is on hold now, and any action from him could be fatal for the village. He thinks I don't know about the Fox—gotta use that. Right now, there are no shinobi capable of sealing the Nine-Tails. Except maybe Gramps with most of the jonin.
Jiraiya... Well, even assuming Gramps has direct contact with him, he's not the type to sacrifice me off the cuff. If he couldn't even kill Orochimaru back then, then...
The old man could easily activate Root Anbu and just sell me to Danzo. For that, he could order Kakashi to fail me on the exam by any means fair or foul, and honestly, if I were Gramps, after that stunt from Naruto, I'd do it. Root could be a good place to break the will and spirit of the cocky brat.
However, for Gramps, the third option is most likely. He'll wait, then call me in for a talk to smooth things over as much as possible, then hand me off to Kakashi and Jiraiya as a pair.
Yeah... Having a nuke in the form of the Nine-Tails is just a fantastic political argument. Thanks, Dad...
"Yo, Sasuke." I greeted, coming onto the roof. He, in turn, was just standing and staring down at an angle where a normal person would've fallen long ago. "Training?"
"Kinda... Didn't want to waste time waiting."
"Then you should've put on weights."
"I did." He rolled up the sleeve on his left arm where a weight was strapped. "Same on my legs and one a bit heavier on my lower back."
"Oh yeah..." I replied, feigning surprise. "I tried, but it's too much for me, probably because of the clones."
"I have a question..." He started, ignoring my explanation. "Did you know? About the Nine-Tails?"
"Uh-huh..." I replied, trying to keep a straight face.
"Were you gonna tell me?"
"Haven't decided yet, but I think you'd find out anyway... What's the difference how?"
"There's a difference! We're... We swore, Naruto! And you decided to hide something like that from me?!"
"Hide?!" I got indignant. "Fuck, you think I figured it all out right away?! I still don't know what to do with it. You think I should be dancing for joy now?! After I figured out what it was about, I haven't been able to sleep properly!" I lied.
"Sorry..." He said after a minute of silence. "I thought about it... It indirectly confirms your heritage. If I were the Fourth, I couldn't entrust that power to anyone but my son."
"Hope the saying 'great minds think alike' applies here. Were you gonna tell me about the Sharingan?"
"Sharin..." He was surprised and flinched slightly.
"Heh-heh..." I enjoyed his reaction.
"How'd you know?"
"Didn't, just assumed that's how you got past the traps and stole the Kage's scroll. Your reaction gave you away completely."
"Got it... Guess now I have to justify myself? Unfortunately, I have no excuses... I'm an idiot, Naruto... For some reason I thought I could master that power. I knew Mizuki wouldn't share, but... I hoped I could at least beat him, but chakra ran out first. Sharingan... I can't use it properly yet."
"Well... That's the least of our problems..." I decided to tell Sasuke about the conflict with Gramps, omitting the notebook.
"Your fucking mom! Shit..." He started pacing the roof, swearing desperately.
"Not all that bad, don't think he'll fail us on the exam, but we'll have to try harder now. Maybe that guy Kakashi will be assigned as our sensei, or someone else, but jonin aren't a joke."
"What do we do about..." At that moment, I gave him a stern look, putting a finger to my lips, created another clone, and opened the door to the roof. Sakura had been standing behind it for about a minute, unable to resist her curiosity.
"Yeah..." He glanced at her briefly. "Guess I'll go to the classroom." He said, maximally ignoring the girl blushing with shame after getting caught eavesdropping.
"Sas-uke..." She said uncertainly as he strode past without looking at her. "Uh..." She scratched the back of her head, turning to me. "Naruto, how'd you notice me?"
"Doesn't matter..." I replied. In reality, a clone of mine disguised as a potted plant was on guard near the stairs to the roof. "Sakura..."
"Huh?" She looked at me as I approached, stepping back a few paces after I reached out and closed the roof door behind Sasuke.
"I get it, but next time that kind of curiosity from you could have consequences."
"Naruto, what are you talking about? We're a team..." She said, realizing it was a veiled threat and stumbling at the end.
"Of course I won't do anything to you, but Sasuke..." I went straight for the jugular and watched her already scared face change rapidly as she realized his true feelings toward her. "And yeah... If you haven't figured it out yet, you're under my command now."
"But..." She wouldn't give up. "The first two years, the jonin-sensei leads the team!"
"Uh-huh... That's what the rules say, but you either obey me or... Let's just say, better declare your exit from Team Seven right now." Seeing my serious face, she got really scared. I just opened the door and before stepping through added, "First order... Try not to get underfoot." I stunned her with that at the end.
Yeah, what a bastard I am. What do I even want from a twelve-year-old? Bastard and asshole to boot. Well, what can you do? Not us like this—life's like this.
Kakashi showed up canonically, two hours late. The atmosphere in the lecture hall where we waited for him was... Let's say oppressive. I didn't even think Sakura could ruin it that much. Just imagine a group of Sakura, Naruto, and Sasuke sitting alone in an empty lecture hall for two hours waiting in silence. I even dozed off for half an hour, and Sakura preferred to sit on the next bench away from us. I periodically caught her glances, but I didn't care anymore. What's said is said...
When the jonin appeared, we exchanged looks first, then stood up sharply.
"Yeah... So this is my team." Kakashi said, holding a book in front of his face without even looking at us. "Sorry for being late, I was a bit busy." Sasuke just snorted at that. Sakura clearly wanted to say something but changed her mind upon seeing Kakashi—she wasn't about to bother the jonin with kids' questions. This guy didn't look like someone who'd care to listen to dumb kids' stories. "Quiet types..." Kakashi noted softly. "Anyway... Let's head to the observation platform, and we'll talk more there. Too... official here, I guess."
The whole time we followed him—about twenty minutes—he didn't look up from his book once. Damn... Gotta read the local Jiraiya porn myself sometime. Probably interesting...
We sat on the stairs, and he on the railing at one of the observation platforms. We were in Konoha's central park, on the village's uppermost tier. My place wasn't far from here—I could see it pretty well.
"Well, tell me about yourselves." He started, closing the book with one finger motion and tucking it into the pouch on his belt.
"What to tell?" I asked.
"What to tell?" He repeated. "Well... What you like, what you don't... A bit about yourselves. Might as well get acquainted..."
"Maybe you start? For example..."
"Me?" He dramatically poked his vest. "Well... I'm Hatake Kakashi. From today, I'm the sensei for Team Seven and a jonin of the Leaf Village. Served in ANBU before, was a squad captain. Hm... Like reading, and the rest... None of your business." Blunt at the end, but thanks anyway. In the anime, he wasn't that open.
"I'm Naruto Uzumaki..." I began. "I like good food and don't like apartment thieves." I expected some reaction from him, but his level of not giving a fuck is really something to aspire to. "I want to restore my clan someday and become the strongest shinobi, surpassing even the Fourth Hokage, I guess... That okay?" I added some uncertainty at the end. Kakashi nodded.
"I'm Sakura Haruno. I became a ninja to show everyone I'm capable of more than others. I like..." She suddenly got embarrassed, glancing at Sasuke.
"Got it..." Kakashi interrupted her. "And what don't you like?"
"Naruto!" She answered. At that moment, I tried to cosplay Kakashi's level of not giving a fuck.
"I'm Sasuke Uchiha. My goal is to restore my clan, like Naruto, and..." He paused slightly, waiting for the sensei's reaction. "Kill a certain man."
"I see... Got it." Kakashi replied. "Well, I took a quick look at your profiles. Looks like a team of geniuses, huh? Let me tell you straight... Tomorrow there's another exam, and 60% of Academy graduates will fail it."
"What?! But we already passed the exams!" Sakura started panicking. "We're already ninja!"
"Sit." Kakashi said calmly. "Academy exams are one thing... Tomorrow's not an exam, it's a survival test. Ninja? Ha... Don't make me laugh. Whether you become ninja is up to me! After the exam, one of you, none, or maybe all go back to the Academy." I'd warned Sasuke about this, but he tensed up anyway, though he tried not to show it. "In short..."
Then Kakashi started explaining in detail when, where, why, what to bring, etc. Also said not to eat or you might puke.
"Heh..." I said when Kakashi finally left and we moved closer to the railing. "Things..."
"Guess you were right..."
"Uh-huh..." I replied to Sasuke. "Don't worry, I kinda know what awaits us. Trust me this time, I have a plan." Sasuke nodded.
"Plan? Naruto, don't you wanna tell us about it?" At that, both Sasuke and I looked at her in surprise.
"What?"
"Never mind..." I replied. "I'm heading home. No need to come at 5 a.m., that asshole will definitely be late again. 9 or even 10 should be fine." I said, stretching.
"If he's late on purpose, we'll just get it worse." Sasuke noted.
"We'll get it either way up to our necks... What's the difference?" I shrugged. "Sasuke!" I called him. "It's evening already, walk the girl home, just in case..." Sakura suddenly got embarrassed, and Sasuke gave me a look saying "You fucking animal!".
I know, buddy, I know... What can you do?
"Don't you think Naruto's taking too many liberties?" Sakura asked.
"Whatever." Was his reply. "Let's go this way, it's shorter."
"No, really... He's just an orphan, but acts like heir to a great clan! Know what he told me?! Like... Don't get underfoot or Sasuke'll do something to you... Blah blah blah..." Sasuke just kept walking, trying to ignore her. "He's definitely like that because of no upbringing. He has no idea what responsibility and rank mean..." She said and noticed Sasuke stop abruptly.
"Sakura... You live on this street?" He asked.
"Huh, what? Well... Yeah... My house is a couple blocks straight and... If you want, you can come in for tea..." He turned to her, looking from under his brow.
"Naruto really is heir to a great clan and my friend. If you truly don't get that, better... Not get underfoot." He replied and turned around, heading back the other way.
"But..." She started and stared into space with a stunned look. "How is that... Possible...?"
Naturally, I sent my clone to the training ground around 6 a.m., where we had to pass the bell test from Kakashi. Of course, I said I had a plan, but... Did I say I'm a hell of a liar?
Coming up with a plan against Kakashi is more trouble than it's worth. I know perfectly well that with our current power, Sasuke and I are as far from him as China doggy-style.
I'd started practicing water walking, but so far, nothing doing. My techniques are just clones and ballsiness, and now I have a real sword. I sent the clone to set primitive traps and scout the terrain layout.
The team showed up at 9, and only I decided to come an hour later...
No matter, we waited for Kakashi till 11.
"Sorry!" We heard his voice near the monument. "I was busy, had to..." He trailed off, seeing our well-rested and only slightly annoyed faces. "Never mind... Anyway, I set the alarm for noon. Your task is to take from me..." He pulled them from his pouch and carefully attached them to his belt. "These two bells."
"Teacher, why only two bells?" Sakura couldn't hold back the question.
"Because only two can pass the test. The third... Is superfluous."
"But..." Sakura tried to object, but quieted quickly under one-eyed glare.
"You can use ANY techniques and even kill me with one strike to..."
"I see, then..." Sasuke began and quickly formed seals. "Fire Style: Fireball Technique!" He exhaled a fireball straight at the stunned jonin. From the side, it looked like he'd lost it, but... As I said, I had some plan, and Sasuke was playing his role perfectly.
"Scatter!" I shouted at the moment of the explosion.
"But..." Sakura started.
"Sakura! Follow orders, think when you learn how, go!" We sharply leaped in different directions, as did Sasuke. I left a clone in his place that transformed into Sasuke, drew a kunai from the pouch, and took a stance.
"Oof..." Kakashi began, who didn't look hurt by the fire technique at all. "I didn't even say... Start!"
Hands came out of the ground—thankfully, I sensed it in time and jumped up, throwing a kunai straight at the Kakashi who'd taken the fire technique. As soon as the kunai reached him, there was a log in his place.
Damn Substitution Technique!
The real Kakashi surfaced from the ground, but I did a flip in the air, drew shuriken from the pouch, and threw them right in his face, almost point-blank.
Naturally, it was a clone, and the real one calmly stepped out from behind a tree reading his book.
"Nice thinking... Distracted me so the team could hide? But I noticed..." Without answering, I crouched and yanked the wire I'd felt in the grass. The tree trap activated, and kunai and shuriken flew at the sensei, and I added some fire by attacking preemptively with kunai bearing explosive seals.
Boom! Boom!
But Kakashi ain't just anyone.
I realized for the first time how fast he was. Dodging the explosions brilliantly, he teleported behind me.
"A ninja never shows his back to the enemy, dumbass." He said, trying to use the finger-in-the-ass technique. But I just smirked, transforming back to myself, unzipped my jacket sharply, and ripped off one of the explosive seals from the inside.
Twenty-four seals went off. Each as powerful as an offensive grenade.
If it were anyone else... But Kakashi just went underground again and dug out calmly when the explosion smoke cleared.
At that moment, I ordered Sakura to give me all her gear and told them to rehide. Sasuke came closer, and as for me...
As soon as the jonin dug out, shuriken flew at him from under the water.
Like hell you're opening that book of yours!
He deflected three with a kunai. Dodged three more. But at that time, my clones jumped out of the water several meters up.
The clones in the air created clones and repelled off each other in flight, flying over Kakashi. I ordered one clone to throw the sword at Kakashi, but he dodged without even getting distracted by the weapon.
"Now this ain't funny..." He muttered.
In response, I showered him with a rain of shuriken and kunai from the air, forcing him to leap back toward the sword and dodge actively. The clones went to close combat, but... Let's be honest... Beating Kakashi in close quarters is unreal! I tried really hard, but considering he was only a bit tense and hadn't even activated Sharingan, we weren't rivals yet.
He shredded my clones to pieces. Even the sword trick and back attack didn't get the bells.
When my clones dropped from 30 to 5, Sasuke attacked from behind a tree with explosive kunai.
He didn't hold back on me, striking right while another of my clones charged Kakashi.
Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom!
Sasuke knew perfectly well the real me wasn't there. Leaping onto the battlefield like a jack-in-the-box, he used Fireball again, attacking the jonin from behind. Kakashi tried to dodge, but no dice...
Sasuke used Shadow Clone Technique right after the first exhale, when Kakashi, using my clone as a shield, managed to jump aside and even throw a kunai at Sasuke.
One of Sasuke's clones took the kunai hit, and the other four used fire technique, completely engulfing Kakashi in a wall of flame.
"Holy shit! They're like some monsters... If I go there now, I could die!" Sakura thought, lying in the bushes shaking with fear after each explosion, and at the sight of Sasuke's fire technique, she pressed to the ground and crawled farther away. She'd felt the heat well from a single fireball, and now she almost got caught in it.
Retreating along the bank from Sasuke's technique, the jonin was forced to jump onto the river.
Yeah, he stood on the river using water walking like it was nothing, while Sasuke tried to catch his breath after burning through a huge amount of chakra at once.
"Alright, kids... You entertained me, but... Wasting energy like that gets you nowhere."
My hands from under the water reaching for his legs were my reply. Sasuke, seeing me dragging him down, ran toward the river.
"Sharingan!" He tried to activate his eyes, but they flashed red traitorously, resulting only in loss of balance. Feeling tingling all over his body, Sasuke couldn't hold and fell face-down.
"Sasuke!" Sakura cried from the bushes and bullet-rushed to him.
"Idiot... Hide!" He tried to shout, but his voice cracked.
She reached him and took the first-aid kit from his belt. Panicking as she rummaged through it, she asked...
"Sasuke, what happened? Did he hit you? Where are you hurt?! I'll help..."
"Get off!" He barked and tried to stand.
Suddenly, Kakashi appeared right behind them.
"Ooh-ooh-ooh..." He began. Sakura jumped up immediately and took a stance, drawing a kunai from the holster on her leg. "Oh yeah? Give it a try..."
"Aaah!!!" She yelled before attacking.
Swing! Swing! Swing!
All misses. Though she attacked fast, Kakashi didn't even pull out his book, but catching her knife hand, he twisted her wrist, making her drop the kunai, and with it deflected Sasuke's counter kunai, who tried to attack from behind Sakura.
He just elbowed the girl in the back, and she flew about a meter before falling face-down.
Meanwhile, I was climbing out of the water...
"Oh, Naruto... How'd the underwater hunt for my shadow clone go?" Kakashi asked ironically.
"I won't lose... Not this time! Sharingan!" Sasuke shouted, successfully activating the technique and charging at the jonin hand-to-hand, shedding his weights and speeding up significantly.
Kakashi was pretty shocked by that, but he kept dodging and commenting on our mistakes, occasionally blocking Sasuke's attacks.
"Powerful techniques..." Block, thrust, jump, sweep... "Not bad teamwork and smarts..." Whoosh, and Sasuke's foot flew past his face. Kakashi wasn't striking back, and he was pushing him toward a few trees on the edge of the training ground. "However..." Kakashi adjusted his headband, freeing his left eye and speeding up significantly as well. "You're missing something..." he said, grabbing the stunned Sasuke by the throat mid-flight, glaring back at him with Sharingan, and slamming his body into a tree with a spin, pinning him there with one hand.
"Interaction accounting for threats," he said. Sasuke tried to snatch the bells from that position, but as soon as he touched them, the jonin drove a punch into his gut and, throwing his body to the ground, pinned his head with a foot while twisting his arm into an unnatural position and sitting on top to hold him down. "You think strength is only on your side, but you're wrong. You don't fully realize what a shitty situation you're in, and you're acting incorrectly."
I got into a sword stance, and Sakura stood ready with her kunai nearby. I had no illusions that the sword would help me against a jonin. He'd already shown me up close that if he wanted, the sword would end up in my ass up to the hilt, but still, something had to be done.
"Then I'll help you realize... Sakura! Kill Naruto or I'll slit his throat!" Kakashi drew a kunai and pressed it right against Sasuke's throat.
"Teacher..." she tried to object uncertainly.
"You don't have time to think! Hurry!" he shouted, and she flinched.
"Naruto..." She looked at me pleadingly for help. Smirking, I lowered my sword and tossed it at her feet...
"Did you hear the instructor?" I asked. "Follow orders!"
Ehh, Kakashi, you're a lousy poker player. Oh well...
"Hurry! Grab the sword and just run me through!" I yelled at her. Kakashi stayed silent, waiting.
"Naruto..." Sasuke tried to butt in. "Are you a complete idiot?!" For that, he got a well-deserved fist to the back of the head from Kakashi.
"Come on, Sakura." I spread my arms wide as she uncertainly picked up the sword and whispered... "Trust me..."
"AAAAAHHH!!!" Closing her eyes, she pointed the sword tip at me, gripping it with both hands, and ran forward. I took a step forward too, jumping onto the sword at an angle where Kakashi couldn't see much from his position. But with Sharingan, he definitely saw it wasn't a clone.
I impaled my palm on the sword on purpose, ducking low to let the blade slide under my jacket past my torso. From the back, the bloodied blade pierced through my jacket, and I, genuinely yelping from the pain, spat out saliva.
Kakashi seemed pretty shocked too and even abruptly jumped off Sasuke's body, not forgetting to stomp him once more to keep him from attacking, and pulled his headband back over his left eye. I slid down Sakura's trembling, crying body and managed to whisper.
"When he comes over, throw the smoke bomb...
That's exactly what happened, except first I managed to sip some blood from my palm, mix it with saliva, and spit it right into Kakashi's remaining eye as he bent over me.
Sakura threw the pepper bombs right on time, and rolling over, I managed to yank the sword from her hand and graze the jonin's leg. He leaped back, but my clone was already behind him—he hadn't noticed it in the smoke. It jumped out, created five more, and they all went for his legs. Since he was wounded, he couldn't break free quickly, and one of the clones managed to rip both bells from his belt.
Kakashi tried to lunge at the clone, of course, but with his injured leg, he didn't make it, and the clone tossed the bells to me successfully.
Mission accomplished!
"Ha..." was all Kakashi said. "I should have guessed it was a bluff... You value your body too much to just let Sakura skewer you like that, but... Good job, Naruto. You... No, all of you did well... Naruto, give one bell to the one who deserves to be a ninja."
"What?" Sasuke blurted out, trying to stand.
"As I said... One of you won't pass the test. Naruto took the bells, so he decides..." Kakashi said calmly, pressing the cut on his thigh.
Sasuke and Sakura were now looking at me.
Looking me in the eye, Sasuke just smiled and got to his feet, and I smiled back at him, clenching both bells in my fist.
"Naruto, I..." Sakura started, but I cut her off.
"Sakura."
"Huh?"
"Shut up." I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and looked up at the sky, then hurled the bells right at Kakashi with a swing. "Fuck off..." I said.
"Didn't get that..."
"I'm not sacrificing anyone. If someone's gotta go, better me than them."
"Sure?" Kakashi asked. "You passed the test," he repeated.
"If it's up to me, then Sasuke and Sakura passed. That's all... This is my ninja way!"
"Well then... Fine. Naruto! Hand over your Leaf headband." Kakashi extended his hand. With one motion, I untied the knot, walked over, handed him the forehead protector, then turned and headed off the training ground.
"Teacher..." Sasuke said. "Here, take mine too."
"Sasuke! What are you doing?!" Sakura cried out. But without waiting for Kakashi's response, he tossed his forehead protector at the jonin's feet.
"If Naruto didn't pass, then neither will I..." he said and headed after me.
"Hm... What about you?" He turned to Sakura. She hesitated a bit, then started untying her forehead protector, removed it, and handed it to the teacher.
"You're right, teacher... We can try again next year and..."
"Alright, hold it! Everyone freeze!" Kakashi shouted and called us back. "Actually... That was the point of the test."
Handing back our forehead protectors, he led us to the memorial stone and, gazing at it, said.
"The desire to become shinobi... To get stronger. To carry out missions and serve the village—it's always honorable. However... All these shinobi carved on this stone. They're heroes not because they strove to become ones at any cost."
"Then why?" Sakura asked.
"They all... Died in battle." She gasped, covering her mouth with her hands. "They gave their lives so their comrades could live!" At that moment, the alarm clock rang. "Congratulations, Team Seven! From this moment, I recognize you all as ninjas!"
***
Read the story months ahead of the public release — early chapters are available on my Patreon: patreon.com/Granulan