Two years passed, I'm eight, still no gram of Magic felt! Tried everything my inflamed brain could think! Even pigeon sacrifice! Yeah, pentagram crooked, no candles or ritual markings, partly for laughs, partly hoping miracle...
Ransacked all city bookstores, nothing! Even dumb idea to bolt to Fuyuki and beg Rin Tohsaka as apprentice! Puppy eyes on her pride, call her SENSEI! Word hot or cold to me—but locals melt for it.
Idea might've worked but bunch of BUTS—she's apprenticed to some church guy, don't remember name. But remember he's crazy psycho doing sacrifices to sustain Gilgamesh in this world. He'd bury me for many reasons, hiding Magic secrecy not main.
But Rin option I worked anyway—Gilgamesh sausage chance high but not 100%! Planned enter middle school there, spy to see Magic and get baseline.
Even knee legend from family book about her clan, beg apprenticeship! Raw idea, but hit snag—how explain parents rationally wanting to move to bumfuck other end country! No ideas yet. And no desire near canon; desperate Magic access thought.
Option if no parent deal—run away! Know who'd shelter—Shirou Emiya! But nuances: Shirou Emiya no Magic skill, though one scan-things trick—more than me!
Approach him only if dad dead, or might bury me—don't know when he died. And eight-year-old boy raises questions from sane adult. Luckily Shirou Emiya not sane! Could shelter, but his guardian teacher, local mafia boss granddaughter—has brains, uses them.
Cherry on top—Fuyuki doesn't exist! Translation error or anime author hiding real city. Or city shorten—but Fukuoka exists, bottom island south Japan. Not sure "island" right if Japan four islands, but ok.
Ahem, Fukuoka great—prefecture center, airport, port, 1.5 million pop! But other end country from me! I'm in Akita—near Japan center.
Ok, overstated; Akita above center, but roughly week by train eyeball! Doubt reach without people/passenger issues. All factors bum me out.
Started eyeing Christian Church, but two stops—still eight! To access Magic, kill decade or more, prayers services... not me. Second—no Church in my city.
Yeah, ~50 churches whole Japan, unlucky. Summing up—in light apathy, no Magic, no approach idea. Seriously thinking no Magic in me; all attempts failed—even damn talismans.
So pondering other paths...
*One year later.*
Today other paths finally hit back! And made me choke. Literally—on soup.
Started innocently; naively shortsightedly tried yoga—maybe meditating wrong. Proved family I'm hyper-versatile with hobbies, convinced yoga classes easy, but nuances.
Current body mom decided join... and now thought might arise like anime usual—secret teacher affair but no, worse.
Now coughing, figuring how "my chakras cleared"—which I never felt in year yoga, eyed suspiciously all yoga-goers claiming similar. And mom's table philosophy drivel suddenly veered to—"Akito, want little brother or sister?"
Many thoughts/memories flashed; had younger brother. No thrill any stage relations—kid cries childhood, grew trailed why-questions bugging, teen rebellion, adult co-living apartment no talk. Maybe more sensitive, different—but expect aware behavior from 15yo me? And maybe shouldn't dropped him childhood... once.
Brother-sister relations complex; friends' experience—not easy happy; mine almost good. Mda, no burning desire relive fuckery. And this world!
But didn't say; spouted—chance "little brother"/"sister" high IQ low. Inevitable compare to me, already happens schoolkids.
Yeah, I'm hated "Mom's friend's son." Seeing my example, can't match—often irks me, especially teacher praise. Fuck, 30+ man hearing "Good job Akito, sit A" from teacher younger total—kills slowly. Like factory Ivanovich evening fifth grade answering with kids.
Ahem, off-topic sore spot. Didn't tell parents, continued—no repeat my study success might hit self-esteem, end bad. Talked how lucky childhood me, barely cried no nerves fray. Another attention/money consumer limited resource. Didn't say money, but key—their attention no.
Blabbed more, pseudo-philo from VK publics. Useful something. Boiled to no now, in five years when I move out—sure! Even love him/her—from distance! Seems convinced bit?
***
Read the story months ahead of the public release — early chapters are available on my Patreon: patreon.com/Granulan