Raven's Pov
I stayed in the restroom for a while until my alarm went off.
Detention—on my first day of senior year.
I mean… I couldn't believe it. Not with Dylan as my best friend. This should have happened a long time ago.
I didn't rush. I didn't really care about school at the moment.
When I stepped into the classroom, Dylan was already waving at me like we were about to have the best time of our lives.
"No, Raven. You sit at the back—anywhere away from your little friend," the teacher said firmly.
I saw Dylan sigh dramatically, as if his entire world had just ended. As I walked to the back, I could already imagine him turning around every few seconds just to look at me. The thought made me smile.
A few minutes later, Kassie walked in.
Her hair was still perfect. Her skin—perfect. Everything about her always looked flawless, as if she had taken a second shower and redone her makeup during the day.
She walked toward the back too, but chose the seat on the opposite side. I understood. A girl like her wouldn't want to sit next to someone like me. And the fact that I was younger than her made it even more obvious.
Then Jason walked in.
He paused at the door, his eyes scanning the room. He looked at Dylan, who was sitting alone.
For a moment, I let myself imagine that, in those few seconds, he was actually looking for me.
And then… his eyes landed on me.
He didn't smile. His face stayed blank.
But he started walking—straight toward me.
My heart stopped.
He pulled out the chair next to mine and sat down. His knee brushed against mine for a brief second, and I froze. I couldn't look anywhere else. I just stared at my lap, afraid that even the smallest movement would give me away.
To him, it was probably nothing. Just another normal moment.
But to me… it was everything.
I heard whispers coming from across the room. When I glanced up, I saw Dylan trying to signal his brother to leave me alone. Jason only smirked in his direction.
Then he leaned forward and picked up the book on my desk—my history notes.
He flipped through the pages slowly, seriously. Anyone else would think he was actually studying.
But I knew him.
So I pulled another book from my bag, trying my best not to focus on the dangerously handsome guy sitting next to me—his hazel eyes, his calm presence, his scent that I hated how much I liked.
"How are you doing?" Jason asked quietly, his eyes still on the book. "How's your dad?"
"What?"
That was all I could manage to say.
"I haven't seen you around Dylan much lately," he continued. "And I know my brother is great—funny and all—but he's not the best with serious things. So I'm asking… how are you?"
"I'm fine… I think," I said, my legs starting to shake under the desk.
"I'm sorry for what happened," he said, finally looking directly at me.
I couldn't tell what it was—concern, pity, or something else. And I didn't trust myself to speak.
Before I could respond, a folded note was passed to him.
I didn't even need to look to know who it was from.
He opened it, his expression unreadable.
He wasn't always like this.
He used to smile more. He used to spend time with Dylan, always laughing, always teasing.
Now he was quiet. Quieter than ever.
And somehow… that made him even harder to understand.
The rest of detention passed in silence.
I could see Dylan's head slowly dropping, his boredom taking over. He was probably half asleep.
When detention ended, it was already the end of the school day.
Kassie walked straight toward us, and as soon as she reached Jason, he stood up and placed his hand on her shoulder like it belonged there.
Like she belonged there.
They walked out together.
I looked away.
My alarm went off. I couldn't miss this one.So I grabbed my bag and headed straight to my therapist's office.
I hated therapy.
But my dad needed it. He needed to believe that I was talking to someone… that I was being taken care of.
As if a therapist could replace my mother.
But for him… I showed up.
I sat there, eating crisps from my bag while I waited.
A moment later, he walked in.
"Hello, Raven. Sorry I'm late," James said, slightly out of breath as he took his seat and opened his notebook.
I had been seeing him for three months now.
It started a month after the accident—when my dad noticed I was falling asleep everywhere. He realized I wasn't actually sleeping at night, so he arranged for me to see the school therapist during the holidays.
That way, when school reopened, nothing would change. Same place. Same person. Same routine.
I couldn't say I had a good holiday.
But therapy wasn't the worst part of it.
"So," James said, glancing at his notes, "tell me about your first day of school."
I stayed quiet, focusing on the crunch of the crisps.
"So you managed to get detention on your first day," he continued. "Why don't you tell me what happened?"
"I need you to tell Miss Greta I need the sleeping pills," I said flatly, finishing the last of the packet.
He paused, then looked down at his notebook.
"I thought you said you were sleeping better," he said calmly. "You keep having those dreams because you're avoiding the real issue. You haven't allowed yourself to accept what happened—or that you deserve the care people are trying to give you. Instead, you rely on pills so you don't have to feel anything."
There was a long silence.
Before he could continue, I spoke.
"I saw Jason today," I said, staring at the ceiling. "I didn't think I could miss someone who's never really given me the time of day… but I did. I missed seeing him."
"And do you think it's wise to focus on that right now?" he asked gently.
"Look, this is my life now, okay?" I snapped. "Nothing is going to change. So why should I keep thinking about things I can't fix?"
Silence filled the room again.
I stood up and began walking around, looking at the decorations in his office—vases, pictures… none of them showed a family.
"Do you have a family, James?" I asked.
"I have a son," he replied.
"And a wife?"
"Raven, if you're not going to talk about yourself, then I'm afraid we'll have to end the session," he said, his tone firmer than usual.
"Oh, come on, James. You know everything about me. I don't know anything about you."
"I'm paid to know things about you," he replied quietly.
He watched me carefully before adding,
"Everything you're trying to hide will eventually affect not just your dreams, but your real life too. And one day, everyone will see how much you're struggling."
"I think this session is over," I said coldly.
I grabbed my bag and walked out.
I couldn't think. I couldn't feel. I couldn't face another night of those dreams.
I knew exactly where I needed to go—
the only place where my problems felt small and the world felt big.
I called it Heaven.
A rooftop at the top of an unfinished building. From there, I could see almost the entire town—the lights glowing like stars. Sitting at the edge gave me a rush, a feeling close to happiness.
Or at least… something like it.
But first, I had to pick up Emily.
When I got there, Dad had already taken her home.So I went back, starving.
The moment I walked in, the smell hit me.
"Pizza!" I said, excitement lighting up my face as I grabbed a slice.
"Mmm," I hummed, smiling as I took a bite.
"Where's Dad?" I asked, noticing Emily was alone.
"He went out to get drinks," she replied, walking into the living room.
"Well, tell him I'm in my room sleeping. I'll tell him about my first day tomorrow, okay?"
She nodded, her eyes glued to the TV.
I went upstairs and collapsed onto my bed. My head throbbed from exhaustion.
I couldn't fight it anymore. I had to sleep.
It was only six in the evening.
As my eyes closed, I felt the light fading… until suddenly, everything was bright—too bright.
Then I was falling.
A loud crash echoed—
I jolted awake.
A dream.
But the pain felt real. Too real.
I checked my phone. Only thirty minutes had passed.
I got up, took a shower, tied my hair into a ponytail, and pulled on a hoodie and sweatpants.
Then I opened my window, climbed down the ladder I kept hidden outside, and slipped into the night.
I walked until I reached the building—the one still under construction.
My Heaven.
I climbed all the way to the rooftop and sat at the edge, my favorite spot.
From there, everything looked small—my life, my problems, my fears.
The wind brushed against my face, filling my lungs with something that almost felt like freedom.
Like peace.
My phone stayed silent.
That meant Emily had told Dad exactly what I asked her to say.
And for tonight… that was enough.