Omo, this naija life no balance. Ahh, Tinubu, if I no jam u for hell, ma no know wetin cause am. This one wey even to chop na wahala. since day before yesterday, na only bread and water I dey chow.
Ahh, for say one day I just dey pass like dis, I go just see some people wey won rob one girl, I go con beat them, save the girl. Later I go just learn say the girl na the only child of one rich man like that.
The girl go con talk say na only me she wan marry. Ahhhh, everything go just set like that.
"Michael, you dey daydream that your daydream again abi?" Na so my boss voice just wake me from my sweet dream.
"Ah, oga, no be daydream I dey dream oh. Na my future I dey look." I reply am back.
"Na you that one concern. Oya, con change engine oil for this car." You hear am abi? Na for garage I dey work.
Me wey do mechanical engineering for uni, wey I suppose dey work for one kind factory or company like this, buh fine boy like me, na garage I day work.
Na since when I dey 9 years dem carry me go orphanage. I do secondary school finish for there, when I con reach sixteen years, I commot go uni. Ahh, I hustle tire for that uni ooh. But sha, I still endure am, finish engineering course.
Na last year when I dey twenty one years old, I just finish. Since that time, I don dey find job I never see. Even house wey I won stay sef I no get. Na wetin carry me come this garage be that.
And this my oga wicked die. If I wan talk am for english man language, I go talk say; His stinginess knows no bounds.
E no matter, na my life be that. Everyday after work, my stingy oga go give me 2k. Just because na for the garage I dey crash, na why he con talk say I must to dey pay rent. See wahala ooh.
I stand up go meet the car wey just enter. The girl wey get the car don commot dey stand beside am.
I look am, 'Omo, this girl fine ooh.' I con dey think for my head. She no old pass me, e be like say she be my age sef. 'Ahh, all this rich man pikin go just dey carry big big car dey go everywhere.' I con dey think as I look the GLE wey she carry come.
"Madam good afternoon." I talk as I shine teeth.
"Afternoon." she follow me shine teeth small. "I needed an oil change, and I'm in a hurry, so I'm hoping you could do it with haste."
For say I no sabi big grammar now, this girl for don off me with the kind grammar and accent wey she talk.
"Ah, no worry madam, I go do am sharp sharp." Na so I start to dey work, twenty minutes like this, I don finish already.
"Wow, so fast?" She con dey surprise as per say I don finish quickly.
"Madam, na so we dey run am for here." I con laugh.
"Okay, let me give you some bonus." she talk as she start to dey open her purse.
"Ah, madam thank you ooh." I con start to dey thank her.
My eyes just dey look inside the purse, as she count 10k give me. I collect the money sharp sharp.
She con shine teeth talk say; "Hope I see you next time I come here."
Na so my face just change.
"Which kind thing be say you hope you see me next time?"
"What happened?" she look me with surprise.
"They tell you say na here I wan spend my life? you hope to see me here, which kind bad prayer be that one?" Ma no lie, the thing wey she talk tap me.
"Okay, I'm sorry if what I said sounded bad to you." she talk. "But that is no reason to be angry with me."
Her accent dey be like say all those pikin wey grow up for london, or america. Wetin even carry her come this garage sef?
"Sha no dey talk that kind nonsense again." I tell am.
"Michael, wetin dey happen for that place? Shey na customer you dey follow talk like that?!" Na so I just hear my boss dey shout. "I go send you leave this place now."
"There would no need for that sir, I was just leaving." The girl talk as she quickly enter car dey go.
As she go na so my boss con meet me. "I don warn you say make you no dey follow customer talk anyhow, but you no wan hear abi?"
I no answer am.
"How much she give you sef?" he con ask again.
"Na 10k." I talk.
"Oya bring am." he con stretch his hand.
"Aa, oga, which kind bring am? Shey she never pay you money for the oil change? This one na bonus wey she give me." I reply am back.
"No be my garage my be this? The bonus na for garage, no be for you." He con talk.
"Ah, oga, I no give you this money." E be like say this man dey craze. How I go just carry all the 10k give am?
"You no go bring am? Oya, commot leave my garage, I no wan see you for this place again." He con start to dey push me.
"Oga..." I wan follow am talk but he no let me.
"I say commot! I no wan see you again!" he con push me hard this time.
Na so I just vex, I push am back. By this time people don already dey come meet us say wetin happen.
"Chike, Michael, wetin dey happen like this?" One woman wey dey sell drinks for opposite our garage cross road come.
The man no gree talk anything, he just dey shout say make I commot for his garage. As I dey go the small room wey I dey crash like this, he just hold my shirt.
"Where you dey go?!" he shout.
I remove his hand commot. "As how na, make I no carry my bag again?"
I go enter the room, carry my small bag, and my remaining cloth come outside.
"Michael, Chike no wan tell us wetin dey happen, and you sef, you just dey go like that." One man wey dem dey call Baba sodiq, follow me talk.
"Baba sodiq, e no go tell you na, na his fault, why e go tell you?" After that, I just walk commot leave all of them for there.
True talk, I don look for another place wey I go work since long, and I don even see one restaurant wey dey do vacancy, maybe na there I go go work.
But as I dey now like this ehn, I no even get where I go sleep. As I think like that, na so something just talk for my head, and another thing just appear for my front.
[Ding!]
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As I look the writing wey they fly for my front, na only one thing come my head.
"Omo... which kind jazz be this?"
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A/N: Like the synopsis said, this is purely for fun, don't take it seriously.