To the sun, to the moon. Yun wishes more flowers to bloom. I want flowers. And trees. And snow. Yun wants everything in the world.
I held my brush with all my fingers gripping it. I held it tightly as the ink spread and dropped on my paper. The servant on my side continued grinding ink for me, while another one held my long sleeves so it doesn't get dirty.
I licked my lips in focus. My brush was trembling because Yun held it tightly. But that is fine. Yun is composing a poem for the Gods.
Mother said that the Gods will read my poem, so I can write out my heart. But how am I supposed to write out my heart?
Yun can't lose my heart. I will die. The Gods didn't even give Yun their hearts.
I paused slightly, then looked down at my chest. My lips were wet and open, a bit of my saliva pouring out. I raised my right hand, the brush on my left, then patted my chest.
How? I tried to open my heart, but it won't open.
Shaking my head, Yun resumed writing the poem. If Yun needs to take his heart, then the Gods should grant Yun's wish first.
My cheeks puffed as I beamed into a smile, looking at my writing. It was beautiful. Of course, Yun is good at poems too.
Mother said so.
I grabbed the paper, crumpling it on its edges, and ran towards the teacher who was gently reading his books. I reached my hand and grabbed his white robe with my ink-stained hands, and then showed it to him.
"Did Yun do good?" I asked as he looked down on me, then looked at his robe instead of my paper.
I just pulled his robe again and then pushed my paper, which the ink has not yet dried. "Give this to the Gods. This is good, Yun wrote it."
The teacher's lips just twitched and immediately smiled at me, making me smile back. He like Yun's poem?
" To the sun. To the moon. Yun wishes for more flowers to bloom. I want flowers. And trees. And snow. Yun wants... everything in the world."
The teacher read out loud, making me nod happily. My servants immediately clapped their hands, saying how great Yun is, and I can't help but agree with them.
"Yes, yes. Yun is good. Thank you." I mumbled, patting my cheeks so they turned red.
If someone compliments you, you need to turn red. But Yun doesn't turn red; I am always pale. So I have to make myself red.
The teacher chuckled and then spoke, "What an outstanding poem, Your Highness. The Heavens must've blessed your birth."
" —However, this... His Highness should write a poem to worship the Gods, especially the God of War, not wish for flowers..." The teacher continued, but Yun no longer listened.
Soon, Yun will visit the temple in Tzuwe. I will give this poem and burn it so the gods know what Yun wants.
I smiled, happy, and then finally let go of the teacher's robe.
"Your Highness? Why don't you write another one, and this time I will guide you on what to say?"
The teacher kept on talking, which made my ears itchy. I silently scratched my ears and neck before I let him go. I snatched my poem and then ran outside.
" Your Highness? Your Highness!" The teacher called out to me, but I just kept on running with my small legs. Yun will go to the altar and give this to the God.
Mother told Yun that the god's name is Bevenolent God Ares. He has a long name, unlike Yun's Yun.
My servants ran after me, their hands stretched long as they all surrounded me while running. I don't know what they're doing, but they must have thought that Yun wants to play.
I don't want to play. Yun will go to the Bevenolent God Ares and show the poem.
"Grand Tutor, forgive His Highness. He is still young and sometimes likes to play..." My servant was speaking, so I looked and saw the teacher following us with long steps.
Yun's ears can hear his fast and loud heartbeat, even his grinding teeth, clashing, and almost like how his sister's dog sounds when he growls for food.
The teacher then opened his mouth, his lips opening and his saliva popping, which made Yun giggle while running.
"It is fine. This Lord understands His Highness recklessness comes from age. However, why are you servants unable to discipline and correct his mistakes? How can he learn? Pick His Highness, and we will go back to the classroom."
I laughed again. The teacher didn't pause, so Yun heard how the wind that swirls inside his body, always playing and running, became tired and left his mouth. His heart even went faster.
My servant's heart was quite different. His heart paused with a loud thud before he also opened his sticky-sounding lips.
" We, humble servants, do not have the right to touch His Highness. If the Grand Tutor could do us the favor of helping discipline him..."
The teacher's heart was the one to stop a bit this time. My footsteps echoed in my ear as I took a turn towards the altar.
"Your Highness, be careful not to slip." My other servants reminded Yun, making me smile, nodding as I saw the altar of the Bevenolent God Ares.
"O-Oh, it seems the Prince was planning to worship our Benevolent God, Ares." The teacher's voice echoed again, with his eyes making the same sounds of a table being pushed. It was moving away from my servant's gaze.
" Bevenolent God Ares! Bevenolent God Ares!" I called out as soon as I entered the altar; everyone's heart and wind inside the body somehow stopped.
"I-It's Benevolent, Your Highness... Benevolent," The teacher's voice echoed in a trembling tone which made me nod silently.
Yes, Bevenolent... Bevenolent God Ares.
I quickly made my way to the altar. It was a very bright place with many, many, many swords and other sharp things.
My servants quickly surrounded me, blocking my eyes; their tall bodies covered the sharp things. But one sharp thing was at the end of the altar. A statue was holding it.
It was a big, long stick. And a sharp thing on top.
My eyes glimmered, and I stopped. I gently kneeled down and then flattened my poem in front of the Bevenolent God Ares.
Bevenolent god Ares has stone eyes. Can he read? Yun will read for him instead.
"To the sun. To the moon. Yun wants flowers to—"
Yun didn't finish reading the poem because the teacher's wide hand already covered my mouth. His eyes were so wide that it seemed like they would fall out of his face. His heartbeat was so loud against Yun's ears, and the other servants' hearts were the same.
Oh, Bevenolent God, Ares, why must you want hearts? Hearts are too loud.
They all looked at me with falling eyes and sweat.
"Y-Your Highness, you need to pray first before reaching out to the Benevolent God, Ares." The teacher whispered, but it was like a scream to Yun's strong ears.
The other servants were already kneeling and bowing, surrounding me, begging for mercy again.
"Forgive us, Benevolent God, Ares. The Prince is young and of innocent heart... We beg of you mercy."
I just looked at them, really confused. Yun doesn't understand. I don't understand.
I shook my head and started scratching my ears. The teacher's hand was still on my mouth, but I just closed my eyes tightly.
Yun feels bad. The hearts are too loud. The breathings are too loud. The voices are too loud.
My lips quivered. I feel my tears, but Yun can't cry. I can't cry. If Yun cries, then the black smoke all over the palace will cry. And then, Yun's ears will hurt so much.
My mouth was trembling. Warm liquid fell from my nose, making the teacher gasp and let go of Yun.
The red liquid fell on the ground as my poem was slowly ruined. The loud sounds are so mean. So mean.
Yun only wants to show the poem to Bevenolent God Ares.
Why is his name so long? Why is it so hard to say? Yun's ears hurt, and Yun's mouth is tired too.
"Y-YOUR HIGHNESS!?? Your High— Quickly call the Royal Physician!" The teacher screamed beside Yun, making me close my eyes tightly and cover my ears.
So loud. "Don't be loud. Yun doesn't want loud."
They didn't listen to Yun. The teacher carried me as they all screamed and their hearts thumped so loudly. Thump.Thump.Thump.Thump.
"W-What's happening!? Why did the Prince suddenly bleed?"
Thump.Thump.Thump
"WE DO NOT KNOW! Hurry! Hurry!"
Thump.Thump.Thump.
"T-This is grave! This is a grave sin! He must've angered the God-"
A loud slap sent a very painful stab to my ears. It made my body shiver as Yun's heart stopped beating before theirs.
"YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH!" The voices were overlapping, filling my ears nonstop. Yun doesn't understand their words... Yun only knows they are loud. And they are hurting me.
They must hate Yun.
They all hate Yun.
"S-Stop. Stop. Stop your hearts..."
It feels like Yun's ears are so full. So full it's going to burst. "-why... why? Why are you hurting Yun? W-What did Yun do to you?"
Soon, the same feeling of a warm liquid was in my ears. Yun can no longer stop the tears.
My lips quivered as I let out a wail. Yun's cries echoed loudly with all the red liquid dripping from my ears and nose.
I opened my eyes and saw the black things that liked to play and giggle with Yun, slowly let out screams.
Yun is going to die. Yun is dying.
"Stop! Stop! Don't breathe! Stop breathing!" I screamed as my eyes suddenly blurred. The same warm liquid was pouring out.
I touched my face and looked at the red stains before grabbing the teacher's robe. He was saying so many things, he was carrying me and running.
Yun is dying, and he just talks and talks and talks. The teacher's heart is so close to Yun, and it's so loud. His breathing is so loud. His teeth are so loud. Everything about him is so loud.
He is so loud. He should just be gone.
I raised my hand and slapped his cheeks. Yun never hurts anyone, but they are hurting Yun.
"Bad! Bad. Stop being so loud...huhu."
The black things around Yun cried and cried. They all cried. Everyone is crying.
I reached my teacher's moving mouth that doesn't stop talking. I grabbed his lips and pulled them, telling him to stop.
But they hate Yun. They all hate Yun. They won't be quiet.
"B-Bevenolent... God.. B-Bevenolent God Ares" Yun opened his mouth and looked at the sky.
Bevenolent...Bevenolent God Ares. Help Yun- Help Yun. They are hurting Yun.
Father... Father....
The red liquid poured out of my eyes. The sky that was blue was suddenly red-stained. Yun's lips quivered.
Ah, they all should just stop breathing.
The black things screaming suddenly stopped; they all flew around Yun, giggling. The teacher's arms holding me suddenly let go, dropping Yun.
My body just fell, and my head hit the ground. The ground was hard and had many stones. Yun heard a loud thud and a cracking sound coming from inside my head.
But aside from that... nothing. It seems that Yun has gone deaf.
My eyes were blurry. Warm liquid is dropping on my eyes from my forehead. I touched it and lay down on the ground while crying.
Truly...Truly... no one loves Yun.
I cried, the loud heartbeats and breathings were long gone.
_____