I didn't even know why I drove to her place.
it was almost midnight.
my head still spinning from three nights of drinking.
my phone buzzing with missed calls from Iris.
I didn't care anymore.
my sister--Mary opened the door, eyes squinting.
"Grey? what the hell—are you okay?"
"no," I said.
and for the first time in years,
I meant it.
we sat on the floor.
just us.
no music. no lights. no distractions.
I couldn't stop shaking.
she handed me tea.
I didn't touch it.
then she asked, softly,
"is it about her?"
I didn't even ask who.
I just nodded.
and then—
I fucking broke.
"she got married," I whispered.
"she wore grey.
can you believe that shit?
she fucking wore grey."
I laughed.
it sounded like choking.
Mary stayed quiet.
"I thought maybe… I thought I had time."
I stared at the carpet like it could save me.
"I left Iris.
I was ready.
and then she said it—over the phone—
that she was getting married."
tears slipped.
I didn't even wipe them.
"I never told her," I whispered.
"never said I loved her.
never even kissed her.
but fuck—she was everything."
Mary whispered,
"Hazel?"
I closed my eyes.
"yeah. Hazel."