"Ring, ring, ring…"
Just as Jovian was parading Tatsumaki down the street, the ringtone kicked off again, and Jovian finally stopped moving.
"Your phone's ringing," Tatsumaki said.
"No. Your phone's ringing. Mine got destroyed in the last fight. I've been using yours the whole time."
Jovian shook his head. His phone had been ruined by the sun—this one was Tatsumaki's.
"Huh?!"
Tatsumaki's eyes went wide. Somehow, her understanding of Jovian's rock-bottom moral standards sank even lower. The man truly had no bottom.
"Hello?"
Jovian pulled the phone from his pocket and answered.
"If you know it's my phone, then don't just casually take it out and use it like it's yours!"
Wrapped around Jovian's waist, Tatsumaki shouted in rage as she watched him treat her phone like free public property.
"Shh."
Jovian gestured for her to be quiet.
"You're shushing me?!"
Tatsumaki instantly felt like she'd lost face.
"..."
Jovian couldn't be bothered to argue. With his free hand, he simply covered Tatsumaki's mouth.
"Um… is this Ms. Tatsumaki?"
"I'm not Tatsumaki. I'm Jovian."
"If you've got something to say, say it fast."
With the main source of noise muffled, Jovian spoke into the phone.
"Uh, Mr. Jovian…"
The person on the other end didn't understand why calling Tatsumaki ended up with Jovian answering, but the situation was urgent—there wasn't time to dwell on it.
"It's like this—twenty minutes from now, a meteor is going to hit Z-City. We're hoping you or Ms. Tatsumaki can stop it…"
The Hero Association staffer kept wiping sweat off his forehead as he explained their request.
"I see. Z-City is under attack and you need me to go save it? I refuse."
"If there isn't anything actually important, don't call me and interrupt me."
Jovian nodded as he spoke, then hung up—clean, smooth, and effortless.
Z-City… if he remembered right, that was that bald guy's territory.
"Huh?!"
Tatsumaki, who'd been straining her ears to listen, stared at Jovian like he'd lost his mind. She genuinely hadn't expected him to refuse to help Z-City.
"Aren't you a hero? You seriously don't care if the people in Z-City live or die?"
Her words were full of doubt, like she was re-evaluating Jovian from the ground up.
"..."
Jovian offered no explanation. He didn't need permission, and he didn't owe anyone reasons.
"Ring ring ring ring…"
Right as Jovian was about to keep marching with Tatsumaki, the phone rang again.
"Hello? I told you—if it's not important, don't bother me. If you start talking about something I don't care about, you're going to regret it."
Jovian hit accept again and greeted the caller with maximum friendliness.
"Mr. Jovian, you may not understand how serious this meteor is! It's a Dragon-level threat! If it hits the ground, all of Z-City will be destroyed! Please—right now, the only people in the Hero Association with the power to stop it are you and Ms. Tatsumaki."
The staffer sounded frantic.
"..."
To be honest, Jovian had zero interest in smashing a meteor in Z-City. And besides—if that bald guy was there, nothing was actually going to wipe the place out.
"Please act! If you stop this crisis, we're willing to raise your ranking from second-to-last in S-Class… all the way to third from the top!"
The staffer blurted out, desperate to sweeten the deal before Jovian refused again.
"First place."
Jovian said it without expression.
"First place?!"
The Hero Association staffer's face changed instantly. S-Class Rank 1 had always belonged to Blast—this wasn't something you could just swap around on a whim.
"Why are you hesitating? Blast can't save Z-City right now. The one who can destroy that meteor and save the people is me. The person you need is me."
Jovian held the phone and spoke calmly, like he was stating an obvious fact.
"I—I'm sorry, that has to be decided by higher-ups. I can't agree to it by myself. Could you give me a little time to think?!"
The staffer sounded helpless.
"Sure."
Jovian nodded. Of course he could give someone time to think.
"Great—then what's the maximum amount of time you can give me?!"
The staffer pressed on.
"Five."
Jovian answered, already tired of the endless talking.
"Five minutes?"
The staffer finally breathed a little easier. Five minutes was barely enough to notify upper management.
"Four, three, two…"
Then he heard Jovian keep going.
"Wait—five numbers?!"
The staffer's expression exploded with panic, sweat pouring down his forehead.
"…One. Alright. Done thinking?"
Jovian finished counting and asked.
"H-How about this?! I can't put you directly at S-Class Rank 1! But I can grant you the title of 'World's Strongest Hero'!"
The staffer said quickly, like his life depended on it.
"Fine."
Jovian felt neither joy nor disappointment. He didn't care about rankings at all. He'd only made the demand because that trash System needed him to have enough legend status in the One Punch Man world to trigger world entanglement.
"Thank you! Thank you so much!"
The staffer kept thanking him.
Click.
Jovian ignored the gratitude and hung up immediately.
"So even someone as strong as you turns out to be a boring guy who's into meaningless titles."
Wrapped up as a waist drum, Tatsumaki spoke with contempt.
Smack—
Jovian casually gave the "drum" at his waist a light tap and asked, "You like having someone weaker than you standing on your head?"
"O-Of course I don't allow weaklings to stand above me!"
Tatsumaki's face went red as she answered.
"Exactly. My answer is the same as yours."
With a single lazy nudge, Jovian made Tatsumaki answer her own question for him.
"Huh? Wait—yeah, but…"
Even though she couldn't refute his logic, Tatsumaki still refused to accept it.
"Close your mouth," Jovian kindly warned.
"Hah! No!" Tatsumaki shot back, openly provoking him.
"Good."
Jovian liked stubborn people like that. They were way more entertaining. He wanted more of them.
BOOM!
Right as Tatsumaki defiantly opened her mouth wide, Jovian turned into a shockwave and blasted upward into the sky.
"Aaaah—aaah—aaah—!"
In the violent airflow, Tatsumaki desperately tried to close her mouth.
Yeah—no chance. She couldn't close it at all.
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