(Idiot... Yui Yuigahama, you big idiot...)
(What are you unhappy about... Isn't it Father Kanjuro's freedom to be kind to whoever he wants...)
(But... but...)
(My heart still hurts so much... like a big hole has been ripped open...)
She didn't understand why, if they were clearly just 'father and daughter,' her heart would ache so much upon seeing Father Kanjuro act like a lover toward Classmate Yukinoshita. She was even less aware that the 'father-daughter' relationship she understood, in Kanjuro's twisted world, already contained all sorts of bizarre and transgressive possibilities. What she had witnessed was merely the tip of the iceberg.
She simply felt that the pure little world she carefully cherished with her 'father' had been... defiled by something. And the ones doing the defiling happened to be Father Kanjuro, whom she had always trusted and relied on, and Yukinoshita Yukino, whom she had just begun to accept.
Grievance, confusion, and a blurry sadness she couldn't even define herself submerged her like a tide. Alone in a deserted corner, she tasted this bitter fruit woven from ignorance and truth. Yuigahama returned home in a daze, saying her usual energetic "I'm home" with no strength at all. With her head down and eyes red, she tried to slip straight back to her room, but her mother, Yuigahama Yui, keenly noticed her abnormality.
"Yui?" Yoko put down the magazine in her hand and looked at her daughter with concern. "What's wrong? Did something unpleasant happen at school?"
Hearing her mother's gentle voice, the grievance Yui Yuigahama had been suppressing finally broke through. She threw herself into her mother's arms, sobbing as she intermittently recounted the overly intimate scene between Kanjuro and Yukinoshita Yukino she saw at the Service Club today, as well as her own feelings of betrayal and incomprehensible pain.
"...The way they were, they weren't like father and daughter at all! Father Kanjuro... how could he do that to Classmate Yukinoshita! Watching them... my heart hurts so much..." Yui's voice was thick with crying.
To Yui's surprise, after hearing this, her mother, Yuigahama Yui, did not show surprise or anger. Instead, she wore a complex and indescribable expression. She gently patted her daughter's back and remained silent for a moment, as if she had made a certain decision.
"Yui," Yoko's voice was very soft, yet it carried a strange calmness, "There are some things... perhaps it's time for Mother to tell you."
She pulled Yui to sit on the sofa, her gaze drifting far away as she fell into memory.
"The Classmate Yukinoshita you mentioned... her mother, Yukinoshita Yukino, was once my best friend."
Yui looked up in surprise.
Yoko continued, her tone carrying a hint of imperceptible... perhaps guilt, or perhaps a paranoid frankness: "Many years ago, when we were both still young, Seiga... she was hospitalized for some reason. At her most vulnerable time, when she needed a friend's company the most... I... betrayed her."
Her fingertips curled slightly: "I fell hopelessly... in love with Mr. Kanjuro. Even knowing he belonged to no one, even knowing he was dangerous and unpredictable, even knowing there were complex entanglements between Seiga and him... I still couldn't control my descent. After he went to the hospital to 'visit' Seiga... we dated in secret."
"Mom! How could you..." Yui's eyes widened in disbelief, unable to imagine her mother doing something like dating her best friend's sweetheart (even if Kanjuro wasn't a'sweetheart' in the ordinary sense) while she was hospitalized.
Yuigahama Yui looked at her daughter's shocked expression but slowly shook her head, a nearly pious, twisted light appearing on her face:
"Yui, you don't understand. If you like someone, if you love someone, you should bravely pursue them and get close to them. You shouldn't be bound by worldly rules, so-called 'friendship morals,' or... 'father-daughter relationships.'"
Her words were like a heavy hammer, striking at Yui's simple worldview.
"Mr. Kanjuro... he is different! He transcends mundane definitions. His charm, his very existence, is an irresistible gravity." Yoko's eyes became misty. "As long as I can be by his side, feel his gaze, and have a connection with him... no matter what the identity or what the relationship, that is... happiness."
"But... but..." Yui retorted in confusion, "That's wrong! And... and Classmate Yukinoshita..."
"That child Yukino..." Yuigahama Yui interrupted her daughter. Her eyes regained clarity, but they carried a kind of insight that was almost cruelly calm. "She has clearly... already experienced it personally and deeply felt Mr. Kanjuro's unique 'charm.'"
She looked into Yui's eyes and said clearly, word by word:
"If Mother's guess is correct... Yukino, she must have already had... the most intimate relationship with Mr. Kanjuro."
"Wha...?!" Yui Yuigahama felt as if she had been struck by lightning, jumping up from the sofa as her face instantly turned deathly pale! Father and daughter... this... this... Yoko, however, seemed to be stating a most natural fact. She gently took the hand of her stiffened daughter, her tone carrying a guiding sort of allure:
"That is why she is like she is now; even though she knows she shouldn't, she cannot leave. She has even... begun to accept and indulge in that special, bewitching aura about Mr. Kanjuro. It is a... sweetness of the abyss that, once touched, can never be quit."
"Yui," Yuigahama Yui stared into her daughter's panicked eyes, her voice gentle yet like a curse, "Do not use ordinary ethics to measure Mr. Kanjuro. By his side, only by letting go of everything and following your heart can you find... your own twisted yet true 'happiness.'"
Yui Yuigahama stared blankly at her mother, seeing the fanatical and twisted belief in her mother's eyes that was completely contrary to her own understanding. She felt the world spinning; the foundation of her entire world collapsed and shattered at this moment.
Her mother's words, the intimacy between Father Kanjuro and Yukino—everything intertwined to form a giant, dark web that wrapped tightly around her, almost suffocating her. She didn't know how to face all this, and even less did she know if her pure 'father-daughter' affection for Kanjuro would, in the future, be completely tainted by this irresistible darkness.
That night, for Yui Yuigahama, was as long as a century. Her mother's words were like a curse, echoing repeatedly in her mind, intertwining with the intimate scene she witnessed during the day, fermenting into a poison that corroded her soul. She tossed and turned in bed, her heart feeling as if it were being repeatedly pierced by countless fine needles, both sour and painful.
(Father Kanjuro... and Classmate Yukinoshita...)
(They... really have already...)
(That kind of relationship... that Mom talked about...)
At the thought that Kanjuro and Yukino might have done the most intimate things, a near-suffocating jealousy and an indescribable sense of grievance swallowed her up.
This wasn't just the sadness of sharing 'paternal love'; it was mixed with a blurry possessiveness that she herself was afraid to examine too deeply.
She remembered a long time ago, one night, when she had accidentally heard Kanjuro's low voice and her mother's suppressed sounds coming from her mother's room next door. Back then, ignorant and curious, she had blushed in the dark, imitating and touching herself... and what surfaced in her mind was actually Father Kanjuro's gently smiling face... This memory, buried deep in her heart and regarded as her greatest secret and shame, now roared like a beast escaping its cage, crashing through her rationality.
Tears flowed uncontrollably, soaking the pillow.
Under the control of darkness and chaotic emotions, her hand uncontrollably reached inside her clothes, trying to drive out the heartbreaking images in her mind. But the more she resisted, the clearer the images became.
Kanjuro's handsome face, his deep eyes, his low voice... finally, amidst her suppressed, tearful sobs, a broken cry full of pain and longing escaped her:
"Kanjuro... Father... ugh..."
At the moment of release, a massive emptiness and an even deeper sense of guilt completely submerged her.
She curled up like a wounded little beast, welcoming the dawn amidst self-loathing and an inescapable infatuation.
The next morning, Yui Yuigahama arrived at school with slightly swollen eyes and a pale, haggard face. She kept her head down, not daring to look at anyone, wanting only to hide herself away.
However, the more one fears something, the more likely they are to encounter it. At the school gate, she saw Kanjuro and Yukinoshita Yukino walking side by side at a glance. Kanjuro was still naturally holding Yukino's hand, and an unspoken understanding and intimacy flowed between them. Although Yukino's expression was still cold, there was less of her former aloofness between her brows and an extra, hard-to-describe... sense of belonging?
This scene stung Yui's heart once again. She instinctively wanted to bypass them, but Kanjuro had already seen her.
"Good morning, Little Yui." Kanjuro's voice was as gentle as ever, carrying his characteristic magnetism.
Yui Yuigahama came to a sudden halt, but she didn't respond with her usual cheerful energy. Instead, she puffed out her cheeks and lowered her head, grinding her toe into the ground, her entire being radiating the message: "I'm upset" and "Leave me alone."
Kanjuro watched her obvious display of sulking, raising an eyebrow slightly as if finding it amusing... 0
Yukinoshita Yukino's gaze lingered for a moment on Yuigahama's swollen eyes and awkward expression, a flash of understanding crossing her icy blue eyes. She understood Kanjuro's nature better than Yuigahama did, and she understood the inescapable contradiction and pain that came after sinking into his grasp. Looking at Yuigahama's current struggle, she felt as if she were seeing her own self from not long ago.
Unable to bear the suffocating atmosphere any longer, Yuigahama snapped her head up, glared fiercely at Kanjuro and Yukino (though the look was more akin to a blustering rabbit), and then, without a word, turned and ran away.
Watching Yuigahama's fleeing back, Yukinoshita Yukino let out a soft sigh, her tone calm to the point of indifference as she spoke to Kanjuro:
"It seems... she's also reaching her limit. Why don't you... 'make your move' on her sooner rather than later?"
Upon hearing this, Kanjuro showed a rare look of slight surprise. He turned his head to look at Yukino: "Oh? You... aren't jealous?"
Yukinoshita Yukino met his gaze, her eyes complex yet exceptionally clear and frank:
"Jealous?" She tilted her head slightly, as if pondering the meaning of the word, then shook her head. "Since I've already decided to love you regardless of everything, and can even discard basic ethics and bottom lines for you... then what difference does it make if there's one more, two more, or even more people?"
Her tone carried a calmness born of resignation, and even a faint trace of weariness:
"My feelings for you... come from deep within my heart and cannot be explained by common logic. Advising you or being jealous is inherently meaningless. Because I know what kind of person you are, and I... cannot stop you from doing anything you want to do."
She paused, looking in the direction where Yuigahama had disappeared. A very faint trace of pity seemed to flicker in her eyes, but it quickly vanished without a trace.
"I just feel... that watching her continue to struggle in such pain is quite pitiful. Since the outcome is already predetermined, why not... give her a quick release."
Listening to Yukino's "generous" remarks that completely transcended normal understanding, and looking at the thoroughly twisted yet incredibly real "love" hidden beneath her cold face, Kanjuro was silent at first. Then, the corners of his mouth slowly curled into a deep and pleased arc.
He reached out and gently caressed Yukino's cheek, his movements carrying appreciation and the satisfaction of having found a "kindred spirit."
"Yukino... you really are becoming more and more like me."
Yukinoshita Yukino did not avoid his touch; she simply lowered her eyelashes slightly, concealing the bottomless abyss named "Kanjuro" within her eyes. She knew she had already traveled too far down this road of no return. And Yui Yuigahama was merely the next traveler about to be swallowed by this darkness.
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