I was once just an ordinary guy—imagine me, 9-to-5, sitting in a cubicle, drinking terrible office coffee. I had a dream—not a heroic one, mind you—just a hope to pay bills and not fall over my own feet. Then, boom, a banana peel. Yes, a literal banana peel. Slipped, hit my head, and next thing I know—I wake up as a baby in a world full of quirks. If this was a sitcom, I'd be the punchline.
First day out, I'm in diapers, and suddenly my mom is cooing, "Kaito, be a good boy!" Good boy? I can barely sit up without face-planting! Meanwhile, Grandpa is looming—tiny but terrifying. He's that old guy who probably thinks I need a strict regimen at two weeks old. "Sit straight! Discipline is life!" he barks. I barely know what straight is, old man!
Mom tries to comfort me—she's sweet, but let's be honest, she's got me in mittens like I'm training for a snowball fight. And me? I'm just thinking, "Why couldn't I be a baby with a butler like in those fancy cartoons?" Instead, I get grandpa's speeches—no toys, only meditation. I'm a toddler, I just want to stack blocks, not recite the art of war!
One day, I was crawling, and I thought, "This must be a dream." And then, my grandpa, in his tiny dojo, says, "Kaito, envision your discipline—like a mighty oak!" Mighty oak? I just wanted to be a mighty napper.
So, when a villain attacked in my new baby body, I thought, "Surely, this is just another goofy plot twist." I imagined some hero swooping in, and instead, I'm flailing, thinking, "Did I sign up for this world or a slapstick sketch?" I swear, I almost shouted, "Cut! Reset the scene!"
But no, the scene kept going. And me? I was the clueless lead, learning to crawl when I'd hoped to run. Yet, somewhere in all that chaos, I thought, "Well, if this is a joke, at least I'm the punchline—who else can say they fell on a banana peel and ended up in a superhero drama?"
And so, with each day, I thought, "What's next—will I have to out-discipline grandpa to survive preschool?" The adventure was only beginning, and I, Kaito, was along for this absurd ride—no scripts, just me, my tiny body, and a world too big for my sense of humor.