In the present
"Lena..." I called softly as I walked toward her.
She was already sitting on the bench at the top of the hill. The same one Anathasia had dragged me to twenty-one years ago.
After everything earlier, she'd asked me to take her somewhere.
Of all places... it was here.
Lena glanced back over her shoulder. Her expression softened when she saw me. But her smile...
...still didn't quite reach her eyes.
"Dad..."
I sat down beside her without a word.
We faced the city skyline together, watching as the light slowly shifted. The scent of grass lingered in the air, distant traffic humming far below. The sky had already begun to melt into gold and orange as the sun dipped toward the horizon.
For a while, neither of us spoke.
We just sat there.
Letting the silence settle.
Letting the moment breathe.
After some time, Lena stretched her arms above her head, letting out a quiet yawn before finally breaking the silence.
"...I used to see you and Mom here," she said.
I didn't respond. Just... listened.
"I think it was a few months before your first anniversary," she continued. "Back when you were still dating."
Her gaze lowered slightly, a faint curve forming at the edge of her lips.
"I didn't want to come back at first."
A pause.
"...I thought it was better that way."
My hands stiffened slightly on my lap.
"I didn't want to just... show up again," she added quietly. "Like I actually belonged."
Something tightened in my chest, but stayed silent and let her speak even as a lump started forming in my throat.
"So I didn't," she went on. "I just... kept doing what I was already doing."
Her fingers idly traced the edge of the bench.
"Taking care of Apoche. Helping other civilizations on the side..."
Then she laughed lightly.
"...and somehow, I still ended up back with Mom anyway."
She tilted her head, looking up at the sky.
"Funny how that works, right, Dad?"
I glanced at her.
She didn't look back.
"Disappointing, though..." she muttered.
"I could've done more. Maybe made it easier for Mom to find you."
Her voice wavered, but she kept going.
"Instead, I was out there playing... I don't know..."
She exhaled faintly.
"...some kind of good samaritan."
She shook her head, almost dismissing her own words, and looked back up again. Like she was trying to keep something from spilling out.
"'Authority without function is useless.'"
A small, hollow laugh escaped her.
"'If you have authority but don't take responsibility, you don't deserve it.'"
"That's what Mom used to say."
Her fingers curled slightly.
"So I just... kept taking on more."
"More systems. More lives. More things to manage."
Her voice softened.
"On top of everything else I was already holding together."
A brief silence followed.
Then-
"When I finally came back..."
She lowered her head slightly.
"And saw what happened..."
Her eyes flickered toward me.
"I finally saw what Dad looked like... after years of just checking in on Earth from afar."
She shook her head, letting out a quiet laugh that didn't quite land. The smile stayed, but it felt... off.
"When I finally descended... and Mom tried to deny I was hers, said I was just someone she kept close..."
She hesitated slightly.
"...it actually kinda stung. I don't even know why."
That's when I noticed it.
Dark patches had started forming on her skirt, small at first, then slowly spreading.
I looked back at her face, and my chest tightened.
My throat went dry.
She was already crying.
Silently.
And I hadn't even noticed.
"Haa... maybe I'm just overthinking it or something," she muttered, her voice steady in a way that didn't match her expression.
"Then I saw Mom cry that night... and I thought maybe I should stay. I wasn't blaming her or anything-I'm the one who chose to take over in the first place."
More drops fell onto her lap as she spoke.
"I just wanted to help her... but I ended up making her cry instead."
I stayed quiet.
Not here... not this time...
"So I stayed. Tried to take care of everything else I had to deal with... and chose to be a family with you and Mom."
Her voice trembled slightly now.
"But it's not that simple."
She let out a small breath, eyes still fixed ahead.
"It was nice. It really was. Fun... comfortable..."
Her fingers tightened around the fabric of her skirt.
"But after a while... I started thinking... did I really deserve that?"
"To just slow down... to be happy... when I pushed my responsibilities onto others... when I made Mom cry because of what I did..."
She stopped, pulling out a handkerchief and dabbing her eyes carefully.
"I tried telling myself it was some kind of reward... but even that felt hollow."
Her hand lowered slowly.
"...I don't really know anymore."
After a moment, Lena turned to me. That same forced smile found its way back onto her face.
"Say... Dad..."
I felt my chest tighten.
"Did I do the right thing...?"
My jaw clenched before I could stop it.
Then-
"Are you... proud of me?"
My whole body froze.
My hand lifted slightly, like I was about to reach for her. Then stopped midway and fell back to my side. I let out a quiet breath, my mouth parting but no words coming out at first.
Lena looked away before I could answer.
That faint smile lingered, but it had turned bitter as her gaze settled on the grass.
"...I've been watching you for a long time," I said quietly, my voice slower than usual.
"For twenty years."
My eyes dropped for a second before lifting again.
"You're a good older sister... and as a daughter..."
I paused, choosing my next words more carefully.
"Maybe I wasn't there from the very beginning... but I've seen enough to know."
My gaze settled on her profile.
"You've already sacrificed more than enough... haven't you?"
She didn't respond.
I continued anyway.
"Your Mom... Anathasia... and I-we're more than grateful to have you as our daughter."
A small breath escaped me.
"But that's not all we want for you."
I shook my head slightly.
"We don't want you carrying everything all the time."
My voice softened.
"Just once... we want you to live without thinking about responsibilities."
Her gaze didn't move.
Still fixed somewhere far away.
"That time..." I added quietly. "Your Mom didn't cry because of you."
I let that sit for a second.
"She cried because she felt like she failed you."
"That's not the same thing."
Another pause.
"You don't have to keep acting like a function anymore, Lena."
The words came out steady.
Not forced.
Just... certain.
"We're proud of you."
My eyes drifted toward the skyline as the last of the sunlight disappeared, the city slowly lighting up beneath us.
"But more than that..."
I exhaled softly.
"We want you to live."
I glanced back at her.
"Not just exist because you feel like you have to hold everything together."
A small shift in my seat.
The air felt cooler now.
"I know it's not easy. I know it won't just change overnight."
"But at least remember this."
I turned slightly toward her.
"You're not just the Outer God of Balance."
A brief pause.
"...You're Carthanalenia."
My gaze softened.
"Our Carthanalenia."
Silence followed.
Lena only nodded, her eyes drifting back to the city below. The last traces of orange and gold faded from the sky, replaced by scattered lights flickering to life across the skyline.
After a while, she dabbed her cheek with her handkerchief and stood up, stretching her arms over her head.
"...It's getting cold," she muttered, glancing back at me. "Mom and Fran might start worrying if we don't head back soon."
I watched her for a moment.
The way she slipped back into place, like nothing had happened.
For a second, I almost said something.
But stopped myself.
Instead, I stood and followed after her as she started down the path toward where the car was parked.
The night air felt cooler now.
Quieter.
Somewhere along the way, I heard her voice. Barely above a whisper.
"...Thanks for listening, Dad."
I paused.
My gaze lingered on her back as she kept walking ahead.
Then she stopped.
Like she'd noticed.
Turning slightly, she looked back at me.
"Dad?"
A small tilt of her head.
"It's getting late."
-
A little later-
"Thanks for the food," Lena said as she stood from her chair.
She paused briefly before adding, "I'll wash the dishes this time. You and Mom have been doing it all week-"
"I'll help."
Fran cut in smoothly, already picking up her plate. She met Lena's eyes for a second, then glanced toward us.
"Mom and Dad can relax in the living room for a bit," she added, a subtle wink slipping our way.
Anathasia and I stayed seated as the two of them carried the plates off. The faint clink of porcelain and silverware echoed for a moment before fading into the quiet of the kitchen.
Silence settled again.
Anathasia glanced at me.
"...What did Lena say earlier?" she asked softly.
I stared at the table for a second before pushing myself up with a quiet sigh.
"I can't really go into it," I admitted.
A brief pause.
"But... we just need to make sure she knows we're here."
My lips pressed together for a moment.
"That she's ours. No matter what."
I looked over at Anathasia, still seated, and reached out to brush a loose strand of hair away from her face.
"Let's keep her grounded," I added quietly.
"In the present."
A small pause.
"...Just like you learned to be."