"…isn't that why you turned away from staying as the ALL THAT IS?"
I continued holding her close, her grip gradually softening as her gaze fell.
For a moment, we just stood there.
My arms wrapped around her from behind while she stared at the tombs ahead.
Moments passed.
The ground trembled faintly, like something massive approaching.
I glanced to the side, catching a cloud of dust rushing toward us.
But before I could say anything—
Anathasia's Gungnir moved on its own.
A single swing.
The creature's head separated cleanly from its body, collapsing with a dull thud.
"It's hard, you know…" she finally spoke, her voice slightly unsteady.
The axe drifted back toward us, then dissolved into nothing.
"I know I'm being a dumbass… bringing up the past like a broken record."
She leaned the back of her head against my chest.
"I am moving forward. I'm doing better now… but it's just…"
Her voice trailed off as her gaze lifted into the distance.
"I don't understand it myself… why I'm like this."
Gently, she took my arms off her and turned to face me.
Her eyes met mine.
Then she reached up, cupping my cheeks.
"Sorry… I'm… such a mess."
She lowered her head, avoiding my gaze.
"I guess I'm not that smart after all…"
"And you're saying I am?" I cut in gently, placing my hand over hers while the other tilted her chin back toward me.
"Look… okay…"
I let out a quiet sigh.
"Maybe I was being a bit too straightforward earlier."
"But every time I see you thinking you're the worst person in existence… it hurts, you know?"
She paused.
Her eyes widened slightly—lips parting, then closing again.
I shook my head.
"So… maybe I said it wrong."
A brief pause.
"I just wanted you to understand."
My grip around her hand tightened slightly.
"When you start blaming yourself like that… it just feels unreasonable."
"It's normal to feel guilty—but some things… we don't have control over everything."
"Didn't you say that yourself?"
Her gaze drifted away from mine, but a faint smile tugged at her lips.
"…Using my own words against me," she muttered.
"You cunning piece of work."
She let out a soft breath, her hands falling back to her sides before lightly tapping her cheek.
"Seriously…" Anathasia let out a quiet laugh and turned toward the earth dragon's direction.
"Marrying you… having children with you…" she glanced back at me, her smile softening.
"I think I'll forever be grateful to whatever God made this happen."
She stopped.
Looking down again, resting her chin on her finger. A flicker of realization passed through her expression.
I let out a quiet sigh and reached out to ruffle her hair.
"Dumbass… I thought you didn't believe in fate?"
"I don't," she shot back immediately. "And that's wrong—there's no other… 'God' that made all of this happen since—"
"We both chose this," I cut in before she could finish. "Yeah, you keep saying that."
I glanced at her.
"And you're probably too stubborn to tweak reality unless you're losing an online ranked match in one of your games anyway."
Her jaw dropped.
Almost instantly, she raised a hand to object, but froze before any words came out.
Her brows furrowed as she folded her arms.
"I don't even do something that petty or immature—"
"Oh yeah?" I raised an eyebrow. "How about that ranked mode from that vehicle combat game we played—where you swapped places with the number one player thinking I wasn't looking?"
Her eyes widened.
She took a step back.
"I didn't…" she swallowed. "…You were watching?"
I gave her a wry smile.
"Yeah."
"I got home early from Rose's place that day, so I thought catching you off guard would be funny. Except…"
I pressed a hand to my forehead, sighing dramatically as I shook my head.
"Who knew my wife was such a cheater…"
I glanced back at her.
"And you even showed it off when we played together."
A bead of sweat slid down her cheek.
"That's… that was…"
She swallowed hard, then quickly glanced around before pointing at the dragon carcass her axe left earlier.
"That's the thing we were supposed to subjugate, right?" Anathasia said, wiping the sweat off her forehead with the back of her hand.
"…Switching subjects immediately, huh."
Before I could say anything else, she flickered out of existence—then reappeared in front of the carcass.
She turned back to me, raising both arms and waving.
"We only need the horns, right?" she called out.
Shaking my head in exasperation, I walked over to her, a small laugh slipping out.
—
After claiming our reward from the guild, we followed the path back to the beach house we were currently staying at.
"Phew… good thing no dumbass random cosmic god showed up to ruin our day," she said, stretching her arms overhead with a yawn.
"…Cosmic gods?" I glanced at her. "And what are those supposed to be?"
She went quiet for a moment, tapping her cheek before looking back at me.
"Well… they're kinda like Outer Gods from Temu."
My expression flattened instantly.
"Elaborate."
She raised an eyebrow, then shrugged.
"They're huge. Like—really huge. Eldritch, primordial things that drift around and chew through universes," she said, gesturing vaguely with both hands.
Then she lowered them, raising a finger.
"But the difference is—Cosmic Gods are more like parasites."
"Outer Gods, on the other hand…" she paused slightly.
"…we're not just big."
"We're not something you're supposed to fully look at."
She clasped her hands behind her back, leaning slightly toward me.
"So yeah—Roselia, Rania, me, you, Kagariel…"
"Even Lena and Francesca."
"We all have that 'thing' going on. Just… in different ways."
My eyes narrowed slightly as I glanced at the presence looming behind her.
"I see…"
I looked back at her.
"…Mind explaining it in simpler terms?"
"I get the idea, but… not really."
Anathasia stopped in her tracks, crossing her arms as her brows knit together in thought.
After a moment, a stick appeared in her hand. Then a small patch of grass beside the road instantly went bald.
"Let's see…"
She paused, then started scribbling on the ground.
First, a tiny dot.
Followed by something that looked straight out of an eldritch horror illustration.
"That dot… is basically a star," Anathasia said, pointing at it before gesturing toward the massive scribble beside it.
"The scale isn't accurate, but… this is roughly how it'd look next to our sun. Or the entire solar system."
The stick in her hand disappeared as she turned back to me.
"The real scale is way worse," she added. "Like… an atom compared to a whale."
"That's what Cosmic Gods are like."
I nodded slightly, glancing down at the drawing.
I could barely even see the dot anymore.
"So… weird-looking and ridiculously huge, huh," my gaze shifted back to her.
"And Outer Gods like Lena, Rania, and the others are… not just huge, but something—"
"That defines the framework of everything else, yup," she cut in casually, shrugging.
"And… we're both Outer Gods too. Through and through."
She placed her hands behind her head, turning and gesturing for me to follow as we continued toward the house.
"But we usually go past even that," she added offhandedly.
"After that though…" she waved her hand vaguely.
"It turns into a whole mess of metaphysical nonsense—way worse than philosophy or ontology."
"So yeah… best not touch that topic."
She squinted, leaning forward slightly as she tried to look ahead.
From the top of the hill the road curved over, the sea stretched out in the distance.
"I'm not even sure what I was thinking when I made the cosmology we're in," she continued, still squinting.
"But it's way too massive. Just maintaining it takes a ton of lesser gods."
She straightened slightly.
"That's why… no matter where you go, you'll always run into one."
Anathasia glanced back at me over her shoulder.
"It's basically oversaturated with gods. Managing individual realities… totalities… Demiurges…"
She turned forward again and resumed walking, casually kicking a pebble off the path.
"Power doesn't really matter, honestly. It's all about jurisdiction—what part of existence you're responsible for."
"Which is also why multiversal sovereign wars… or any large-scale conflicts between gods are rare."
"They're too busy doing their jobs. Conquest barely even crosses their minds."
A dry laugh slipped from my lips.
"So… they're basically just…"
"…overworked cosmic managers?"
She tried to hold it in. But failed a second later, letting out a short laugh.
"Well… yeah. Technically."
She shrugged lightly.
"Godhood comes with responsibilities. Functions."
"And if you don't have one?"
A small pause.
"Then you don't deserve it."