I was back home.
Sitting in the dining room.
I could see the shadows of my parents projected on the wall. Two figures distorted by the light moved sharply, invading each other's space.
They were arguing.
Again.
And, as always, it was because of me.
"I only asked him for one thing," said a rough voice. "Just one thing."
"And what did you expect? He always ruins everything," the other replied.
Something hit the table.
I heard a shout.
Then another sound, sharper, against the wall.
The shadows moved at the same time. Neither stepped back. Neither stopped.
The word useless appeared.
Said by one.
Repeated by the other.
I shrank in the chair.
I tried to make myself small.
Smaller, but I couldn't.
I could feel their stares, even though I couldn't see their faces. I knew they were both looking at me. Judging me. Searching for what I had done wrong this time.
"Why can't you do it right?"
"Why are you always like this?"
The voices overlapped. I couldn't tell who was saying what.
I wanted to answer.
Explain.
Apologize.
No sound came out.
The shadows approached from both sides.
The air became heavy.
My chest tightened.
I closed my eyes.
And then...
Something moved.
I opened my eyes abruptly. My body felt tense, my heart was beating fast.
It took me a few seconds to realize I was no longer in the dining room.
There were no screams.
No blows.
Only the sound of my breathing and an unfamiliar room.
I brought my hand to my chest. I could feel my heart trying to jump out.
I let out a sigh, trying to calm myself.
So... I'm not home anymore.
All I could see were my trembling hands.
I wasn't dreaming.
I got out of bed, but I slipped. My legs felt weak, yet I forced myself to stand up.
I started looking around the room. It was blue, with posters, drawings... too many.
They were all dinosaurs.
Obviously it was a child's room, but I ignored that for the moment. I had more important things to think about.
So I supported myself against the wall.
I passed in front of a closet without paying much attention...
Until something moved.
I stopped.
The movement imitated me.
I slowly turned toward the closet and instead of seeing a teenager I saw...
A child.
I fell from the fright and started crawling backward toward the wall without taking my eyes off the reflection staring at me.
"No, no, no, that's impossible. I refuse to believe it."
I slowly raised a hand, as if I were about to touch something fragile.
The boy in the mirror raised his.
My fingers were small. Too small. I hadn't noticed.
I lowered it suddenly.
My breathing became irregular.
This couldn't be happening.
I stood up from the floor and slowly approached the mirror until I was right in front of it.
I was... so small that the edge of the mirror reached my eyes. That had never happened before.
I leaned closer and began inspecting myself.
The hair was messy blond, falling over the forehead.
And the eyes were light, too light—an amber color.
I lowered my gaze, prepared to see the rest of—
"Itsuki, son, are you awake? Come downstairs for breakfast, your mom made pancakes!"
The shout made me jump.
My heart hammered in my chest and my breathing—
My hands trembled and I almost lost my balance in front of the mirror.
I wanted to scream but nothing came out.
I could only stay there, frozen.
"I-I'm coming," I answered loudly, hoping to be heard.
"Remember... inhale, exhale... inhale, exhale," I repeated to myself until I calmed down enough to look away from the mirror.
I turned my head toward the door, determined to go downstairs.
I started walking out, and when I left the room the first thing I saw was a wall with more drawings. To my left there was a bathroom, but I ignored it and started walking toward a hallway.
My steps were slow, as if I had to learn to walk in this small body. Every creak of the wooden floor made me flinch.
There was another room in front of me, but with a bigger bed than mine. I just passed by it and went to the stairs.
I kept walking, passing what I thought was another room, but the door was closed.
I turned left and began going down the stairs. As I descended, I could hear voices—one speaking calmly and the other laughing lightly.
I tensed slightly, doubting whether to go down or not, but in the end I reached the conclusion that it was the only possible path.
So I kept moving until I reached the bottom of the stairs, and the first thing I saw was the entrance hall, the front door, a closet, and to my left a room that caught my attention because it had some deflated balloons and streamers, as if the room had hosted a celebration very recently.
I didn't understand why, but the scene felt vaguely familiar.
Although I was curious, the sound I was looking for came from a door in front of me.
With the little courage I managed to gather, I approached it and turned the knob.
My eyes couldn't believe what I saw: on the table there was a perfectly arranged plate of pancakes, and in front of them the two adults I had seen before, looking at me with warmth.
A lump formed in my throat. For a second I didn't know what to say until a word came out.
"G-good morning," I said timidly.
"Good morning, sweetheart," the woman replied calmly while sitting at the table.
"And how did you sleep, champ? Did your head keep hurting?" the man started saying one thing after another. "Because the doctor gave us some pills for when it starts hurting again... and by the way, did you slip? Because we heard something like that."
"Ichiro, let Itsuki breathe," the woman intervened. "Can't you see he just woke up? He must also be very hungry, right sweetheart?"
I could only nod and walk closer to the table to sit down.
When I sat down, the woman brought me a plate of pancakes and a glass of milk.
I decided to eat, so I grabbed the utensils to start, but when I cut a piece I noticed my hands were trembling.
I tried to ignore it, but by accident I knocked over the glass.
Quickly I grabbed some napkins and started drying it frantically while saying:
"Sorry, sorry... i-it was an accident."
I saw the woman stand up and start walking toward me.
I froze, closed my eyes waiting for the hit...
And what I received was...
A hand on my head.
"It's okay, sweetheart," she said softly."It was just an accident."
A tear slipped out involuntarily. I didn't know why, but I felt safe in her arms.
"Sweetheart, calm down. Nothing happened," she told me gently. She knelt down to my height and, looking into my eyes, added:
"It's okay, alright?"
I stared at her without knowing what to do until suddenly she hugged me.
A tear slipped out again. I didn't know why, but I felt safe in her arms.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________
A few minutes after my small scene, we started eating in a comfortable silence.
I began to get lost in thought, thinking about everything that had happened to me: how I had reincarnated into a child, something I couldn't ignore...
And what had happened to the boy who had been here before me.
Had he died?
Had I killed him?
The idea of being the reason for his death disturbed me. Would his parents be sad if I told them?
Wait... would they even believe me?
I didn't know.
When we finished breakfast, I stood up to clean my plate, but the woman approached and gently took it from my hands to carry it away.
I just stood there, watching her take the plate.
"So, son, on Monday you're going back to school," Ichiro told me with a smile."The doctor said that with today and tomorrow to rest, you should already be fine."
"Okay," I said softly. I had no reason to say no, but something inside me still doubted.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________
After eating, I started walking around the house, taking advantage of the fact that the woman had received a call from her work and that Ichiro had gone up to his study, which apparently was the room that had been closed.
I began to look at the photo on the TV cabinet. There were photos of their wedding, birthdays, graduations, the boy's birth— all the typical pictures someone would expect to see in a family.
Some of them made me smile without realizing it: the boy's little face on his first birthday, Ichiro hugging the woman after their wedding, small scenes of everyday life.
But the one that made me stop was a photo of the three of them together. The boy was in their arms while they hugged him. They looked so happy...
They truly loved him.
I stared at the photo for a long time, almost as if I wanted to memorize every detail.
A knot formed in my throat.
As my fingers brushed the picture, I couldn't stop a thought from appearing:
None of this was meant for me.
The boy who had been here before... he had this love, their laughter, their hugs, the birthdays.
All of that belonged to him.
Not to me.
A pressure formed in my chest, a mixture of guilt and fear.
Was I stealing his place?
My eyes fixed on the picture of the three of them together, and I didn't see happiness.
I saw a life that had ended.
A life that I was now living.
The knot in my throat tightened even more, and I didn't know whether to cry or apologize.
I slowly stepped back until I bumped into the couch.
I had to know what had happened.
And there was only one person who could give me that answer.
So I moved around the couch and left the living room.
I passed through the entrance hallway, seeing through the light coming from the window how the house remained quiet.
I went up the stairs with firm steps, even though each step made my heart beat a little faster.
When I reached the door of the room, I raised my hand to knock...
But my hand started trembling again.
Was I really sure about doing this?
What if he told me I had suffered a seizure... and that all of it had started when I arrived in his body?
A chill ran down my spine, but I took a deep breath.
I had to know, no matter what it cost.
So I knocked three times.
Tock. Tock. Tock.
"Come in, son," a voice said from inside.
I grabbed the knob and opened the door.
The first thing I saw was Ichiro sitting with his back to me.
He raised a hand for me to wait, and I did.
I used that moment to quickly look around the room, searching for some clue about what had happened.
There were only more photos and two diplomas hanging on the wall.
One belonged to Ichiro.
The other belonged to the woman, whose name apparently was Kaori.
Ichiro finished what he was doing and turned toward me.
"So, what is it, champ? Did your head start hurting again?" he asked.
"I wanted to know... how I ended up in the hospital," I asked timidly, holding my left arm.
"You don't remember?" he asked.
I shook my head.
"You know, the doctor told us that you might not remember it... so I'm not that surprised," he said calmly.
Ichiro took a deep breath and adjusted himself in his chair, looking at me quietly.
"Well, it was an accident," he began.
"You were playing in the park. Do you remember the playhouse?"
I nodded slightly, pretending that I did.
"When you climbed on it, a wooden beam you were leaning on broke.
Obviously you couldn't keep your balance, so you fell to the side, right where there wasn't a railing.
You hit your head... it was a strong hit.
But luckily the floor around the playhouse is made of foam, so it absorbed a good part of the impact.
The doctor told us that after a couple of hours of observation at the hospital and resting at home, you'd be fine."
Ichiro smiled softly at me, as if trying to reassure me.
"You don't have to blame yourself, son. It was just an accident. None of that was your fault."
I could only stare at him without knowing what to answer.
Ichiro placed his hand on my head and ruffled my hair, making me flinch slightly, something I'm sure he noticed.
"Go to your room and play, alright?" he said calmly with a smile."Dad is working. If you want, when I finish, I can play with you."
I simply nodded.
He removed his hand to let me go.
When I reached the door he said:
"Please close the door."
Which I did.
When I finished closing it, only one thought stayed in my mind while I walked back to my room.
I didn't kill him.
I didn't kill him.
When I reached the bed, I simply let myself fall onto it.
My gaze stayed fixed on the ceiling, watching the stars that were there.
And at some point...
I simply stopped thinking.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________
The sound of a car arriving at the house could be heard.
It was Kaori returning from work.
She got out of the car with elegance while removing her glasses and taking her briefcase.
"Ah..." I sighed, annoyed. I couldn't believe they had called me to work using the excuse that I had taken Thursday and Friday off.
Yes, I took Thursday for Itsuki's birthday.
And maybe Friday I had to leave unexpectedly.
But it was because of Itsuki's accident, and I had already explained it last night.
I walked through the door, looking around while taking a deep breath to leave the stress of work behind.
Alright, sweetheart... let's see how you are.
I closed the door and started walking toward the living room.
I could hear the television on.
I thought I would find Itsuki.
But instead I found Ichiro sitting on the couch, his eyes glued to the screen.
"Honey, what are you watching?" I asked as I approached.
Ichiro glanced at me and smiled.
"A rescue," he said calmly.
"The heroes are saving some people from a burning building. Nothing serious though. Everything is under control."
I watched the screen for a moment.
The world of heroes unfolded before my eyes: lights, action, and people being saved with precision and speed.
It was like watching a mixture of news and spectacle.
No matter how many times you saw it, it always left you amazed.
I looked away from the TV and asked Ichiro:
"Honey, how has Itsuki been?"
He answered with a sigh.
"It turns out it's just like the doctor said. He doesn't remember the accident. I know because he came to ask me what had happened."
I couldn't help but worry.
"Should we call the doctor?" I asked, concerned.
"No need to bother him," he replied.
"It's something he had already predicted. I'd say we should just keep watching Itsuki, and if we notice anything else, then we can call him."
I could only sigh, trusting my husband.
"Well... and where is Itsuki?" I asked.
"I think he's asleep," he said."He went to his room after talking with me and hasn't come out since."
I nodded at what he said until I noticed something.
"Wait... hasn't he taken a bath? It's already four," I said, staring at him.
He became nervous, scratching the back of his neck while looking at the floor.
"W-well... about that... the truth is I also fell asleep, and I forgot to set an alarm. You know I always struggle to wake up," he said with a nervous smile.
I couldn't help but raise an eyebrow and let out a soft sigh mixed with a small laugh.
"Ichiro..." I murmured."Always with your excuses. I hope Itsuki doesn't become a mini version of you."
He raised his hands in surrender.
"I promise that next time it won't happen... although I can't promise I won't keep sleeping more than I should," he replied with a shy smile.
I sighed again.
"I'm going to wake Itsuki so he can take a bath and also eat. And by the way, it's your turn to cook."
He just responded with a quick nod and immediately turned back to watching the television.
I started walking toward the stairs and remembered that I still had to clean the Japanese room.
I would do that at night.
When I started going upstairs, I tried not to make too much noise.
When I reached Itsuki's door, I opened it slowly, trying to make as little noise as possible.
I walked slowly toward the bed.
And there he was.
Lying on his back.
He looked so cute that I almost felt the urge to squeeze his cheeks, but I resisted.
I sat on the edge of the bed and gently began to stroke his hair.
"Come on, sweetheart, it's time for your bath," I told him."After the bath, we'll eat and I'll put on some cartoons for you."
Itsuki began to move.
I watched as he started blinking and slowly opening his eyes, still half asleep.
His eyes met mine.
For a moment, a mixture of surprise and confusion appeared in them.
"Mom..." he murmured almost inaudibly.
I smiled softly, leaning slightly toward him and placing a hand on his arm.
"Yes, sweetheart."
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________
I don't know when I fell asleep, but I did.
I guess my mind had already become completely exhausted.
Until I heard someone calling me.
It was... such a calm, maternal voice that something inside me responded.
"Mom."
At first I didn't think about it.
But when I opened my eyes, I saw her...
It was Kaori.
The moment my brain processed it, I almost jumped out of the bed, and she noticed.
"Are you okay, sweetheart?" she asked."Do you feel sick?"
"It was a nightmare, that's all," I lied.
I just wanted the earth to swallow me.
She looked at me for a second and then said:
"Okay. Well, like I was saying, it's time for your bath."
I simply nodded and got out of bed.
Since she was standing to my left, I had to step down in front of her.
She just kept watching me.
I don't know how, but something inside me told me where the clothes were.
So I grabbed the first things I saw: gray shorts and a Thomas the Tank Engine shirt.
When I finished grabbing everything and started walking to the bathroom, I noticed Kaori following me.
I started to tense up.
I didn't want her to come with me.
But in her eyes I was only about four years old.
I had something to say.
Something I had to do.
But I didn't know how.
My throat felt dry and my hands trembled, as if even holding air required too much effort.
When we reached the bathroom, which was literally next to the room, I stopped in front of the door.
Frozen.
Not daring to turn around.
Every second stretched as if time itself wanted to mock me.
"I-I can bathe by myself," I said, staring at the door, trying to ignore the knot in my chest and the feeling that my legs might give out.
My voice sounded weak.
More like a whisper than a statement.
For a moment I thought I was going to cry.
I expected anything.
A you're not old enough yet.
A wait sweetheart.
Even a simple no.
But instead I heard:
"Of course, sweetheart. I'll be in my room if you need me."
That was all she said.
Her voice was calm.
Firm.
Without reproach.
And something in that tone made me feel safe, even though my heart was still racing and my hands were sweating.
I could barely breathe, but I didn't dare look at her.
I stayed there for a few seconds while I heard the sound of her footsteps walking away.
Every part of me wanted help.
But the simple idea that she wouldn't force me to depend on her gave me a strange sense of relief.
I let out a sigh.
Then I opened the bathroom door and stepped inside.
The space was large for a child.
White dominated the room.
Shiny tiles reflected the light from the window.
There was a small bathtub and a shower with a soft striped curtain.
On one side there were toys carefully stored away, floaties and colorful sponges that gave the place a childish touch.
There were also normal bathroom things: folded towels on a small shelf, soap dispensers, brushes, and a cup with toothpaste.
Everything was tidy.
Nothing out of place.
Nothing particularly noticeable.
Just a clean, simple bathroom.
Quiet.
As if it was waiting for someone to use it without hurry.
When I finished taking off my clothes, the mirror caught my attention.
I slowly approached it and saw those amber eyes staring back at me.
The glass started to fog up until only one eye remained visible.
I stared at it for a few seconds.
Then I looked away.
Just like before.
I stepped into the shower.
"Ahh..." I sighed.
The hot water gently hit my back and ran along every curve of this body that wasn't mine, yet now felt as if it had always belonged to me. Steam filled the bathroom, blurring the outlines of the room, and each drop seemed to wash away a little of the weight I carried.
"Ah... ah..." I began to cry, covering my mouth so I wouldn't make any noise.
"What am I supposed to do?" I thought, feeling the water slide down my shoulders, soaking my hair and running down my arms.
I was in a body that didn't belong to me, in a house that wasn't mine, with parents who weren't mine.
What could I do?
Pretend everything was fine?
Pretend I hadn't died?
Pretend I wasn't living the life of another child?
I didn't know.
All I could feel was the water, the only thing I knew was real. Every second under the shower helped me release a little of the guilt and fear, even if it was only a thread. The smell of soap, the warmth on my skin, the soft sound of water falling… everything blended into a strange sensation.
I hugged myself while the water kept running.
Every breath reminded me that I was still alive.
That I could still do something.
I knew it.
I was replacing someone… a child who would never come back.
But I also knew something else.
I hadn't killed Itsuki.
He had already had his chance.
Now, if I wanted… I could try.
But was it right?
Did I have the right?
To use his body and live in his place?
I didn't know.
I slowly stood there, letting the water continue to soak my hair and back.
I took a deep breath and felt something inside me loosen slightly, as if part of the weight had dissolved with the steam and heat.
They feel love.
A kind of love I had never known.
I could see it in every gesture, every look from Kaori and Ichiro.
That love was there.
Waiting for me.
And for a moment I understood something.
I wasn't stealing anything.
I was taking what life was giving me now.
A chance to live.
To learn.
To be a little happy.
Itsuki had lived and was gone.
I was here.
I could live.
I wouldn't replace him…
But I could try to become someone worthy.
So that his death wouldn't be meaningless.
With the water running over me, for the first time in a long time, I felt a thread of peace.
A small thread.
But real.
I didn't know everything.
I didn't know how or when.
But for the first time, I felt that maybe…
I could try.
With that thought in mind, I finished bathing.
I dried my body and hair with slow movements, still feeling the warmth of the water on my skin.
When I left the bathroom, I didn't see Kaori.
I assumed she had gone downstairs.
I went to the room and changed slowly.
I was going to live.
I was going to keep going.
I had decided.
I could have a new life.
Yes…
I would do it.
"Ah…" I sighed.
When I finished changing, I opened the bedroom door and walked out with a confidence that still felt new, as if I wasn't completely used to it yet.
I slowly went downstairs.
When I reached the hallway, my eyes drifted toward the room that earlier had streamers.
Now it was clean.
Organized.
Empty.
I looked away and continued straight to the dining room door.
When I opened it, I was greeted the same way as the first time.
The table set.
Warm food.
And them waiting for me.
I smiled at them.
Maybe I wouldn't call them mom and dad.
Not yet.
But…
Maybe someday.
I sat in the same place.
They served me food.
I ate.
The weight hadn't disappeared.
Not completely.
But part of it…
had.
And for now,
that was enough.
Until a sound caught my attention.
The television was on, showing a cartoon program: animals in an imaginary backyard, living small and colorful adventures.
I kept watching, distracted, until the commercials interrupted the story.
Suddenly, the screen exploded in golden and deep red tones.
The image changed, showing a city bathed in the light of sunset as a streak of lightning crossed the sky.
A massive shadow emerged between the buildings, and the ground seemed to tremble with its presence.
"DO NOT FEAR!!"
A deep and confident voice echoed.
So familiar that my heart skipped a beat.
The camera spun dramatically.
And there he was.
A man easily over two meters tall, standing straight with broad shoulders, wearing a bright blue suit decorated with red, white, and golden lines that reflected the light like liquid fire.
His blond hair rose in two iconic tufts, moving with an almost supernatural air.
It was…
All Might.
The air in the room seemed to vibrate.
My breathing stopped and a chill ran down my spine.
He wasn't just a hero on television.
His presence filled the screen.
Bigger than anything I had ever seen.
As if the world itself had bent around him.
Rays of light struck his figure as he stood over the city, arms crossed, his gaze determined, radiating a feeling of strength and hope impossible to ignore.
"What the hell…" I whispered, my voice caught in my throat.