Chapter 14: Apartment Intrusion
Early the next morning, Ethan was still enjoying a pleasant dream when a furious shout from the living room jolted him awake.
"ARE YOU ALL INSANE?!"
Without question, such a powerful voice could only belong to Penny.
Ethan got up groggily. For his own safety, he didn't walk directly into the living room but instead observed cautiously from the hallway. Leonard and Sheldon were already there.
Penny stood angrily in the center of the living room, clearly having just rolled out of bed.
Her attire added a certain 'visual impact' to this otherwise drab bachelor pad—
A loose, light purple sleep shirt hung on her frame, with slightly ruffled sleeve cuffs.
Underneath was a form-fitting white tank top that perfectly showcased her curves.
She wore pink plaid pajama shorts, with a colorful fabric belt tied in a lopsided bow at her waist, looking simultaneously casual and adorable.
For a moment, Ethan forgot to breathe.
He rationally reminded himself—now was absolutely not the time for admiration, because she was livid.
Penny's face was flushed with fury. "You guys broke into my apartment while I was sleeping last night?!"
Leonard stammered, "Y-yes, but just to clean up a little."
"To be precise, it was 'organizing,'" Sheldon clarified. "The space wasn't actually dirty per se."
"Give me back my key!"
"I'm so, so sorry." Leonard immediately handed over the key.
Penny snatched the key and shoved it into her pocket, still seething. "Do you have any idea how terrifying that is?!"
"Yes," Leonard said cautiously. "We... talked about it for quite a while last night."
"In MY apartment! While I was SLEEPING!" Penny's rage could have ignited the oxygen in the room.
Sheldon remained eerily calm. "Friendly observation—you snore when you sleep. Based on my auditory analysis from last night, you may have mild chronic sinusitis or sleep apnea. I'd recommend seeing Ethan for—"
"Sheldon!" Ethan quickly emerged from the hallway to intervene, genuinely worried that one more second and Penny would physically assault them.
"Oh boy, I knew this would happen." Ethan rubbed his temples as he entered the living room.
Penny's hands trembled with anger. "Ethan, they snuck into my bedroom while I was unconscious! Tell them—isn't this a complete invasion of privacy?!"
Ethan held up his hands. "Yes. From a legal standpoint, you'd be completely justified calling the police. And in Texas, you could legally shoot them for home invasion."
"Thank you, Ethan." Penny nodded sharply.
"Sheldon, Leonard—you absolutely crossed a major line here. You both need to apologize sincerely, from the bottom of your hearts."
Leonard immediately hung his head. "Penny, I am truly, genuinely sorry. This was completely wrong." Then Leonard began desperately making gestures at Sheldon.
Sheldon sighed heavily, stepped forward, and adopted a formal apologetic posture:
"I sincerely apologize for the events of last night. The responsibility is entirely mine. I genuinely hope this incident will not negatively impact your perception of Leonard. He is not only a decent person, but also—to my knowledge—an exemplary romantic partner."
Leonard's face instantly turned redder than a fire engine. "SHELDON!!"
"I've done everything within my capacity," Sheldon announced with clinical detachment.
The air fell completely silent for three full seconds.
Then Penny let out a sound somewhere between a laugh and a growl, spun around, stormed back to her apartment, and slammed the door so hard the walls shook.
Ethan looked at the two standing in the living room and sighed deeply. "You should both be grateful she doesn't keep a loaded Glock under her pillow."
Leonard stared at Penny's closed door with a pained expression.
Sheldon looked genuinely confused. "Did she just laugh? That—through-gritted-teeth kind of sound—does that indicate she's accepted our apology?"
"That wasn't laughter. That was the sound of someone contemplating homicide." Ethan sighed, collapsing onto the couch.
Leonard looked anxious. "No, I can't leave things like this. I think she might never speak to us again!"
Sheldon analyzed clinically, "If Ethan's assessment is accurate—then from a behavioral psychology perspective, her anger has clearly not dissipated, and she requires an emotional outlet. Since you and I are both triggering stimuli—"
"So what do we do?" Leonard looked desperate.
"Therefore, a neutral third party should intervene." Sheldon's gaze shifted to Ethan. "For instance—him."
Ethan blinked. "Me?"
Leonard immediately seized on this. "Yes! Exactly! Ethan, you have a good rapport with her, and she trusts you. Please, help us explain. Just tell her... we were only trying to help. There was absolutely no malicious intent."
Sheldon added, "And you possess a doctorate degree—admittedly only in medicine—but you still maintain elevated credibility."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence." Ethan smiled helplessly, then finally stood and walked toward Penny's apartment across the hall.
—
Penny's apartment door was slightly ajar. Ethan knocked gently twice. "May I come in?"
"Yeah, come in." Penny's voice came from inside, still sounding irritated.
She was curled up on the couch with her legs tucked beneath a throw blanket, her hair still messy, and a steaming mug of coffee on the table in front of her.
Ethan carefully sat across from her, remaining silent.
Penny took a deep breath. "I'm really pissed off."
She glanced at him, confirming Ethan was actually listening.
"They broke into my apartment uninvited, and then—cleaned it! Can you believe that? Cleaned! Who breaks into someone else's home in the middle of the night to tidy up? That's genuinely psychotic!"
"Where I'm from in Nebraska," Penny continued, "if someone breaks into your house at night, you can shoot them. Seriously, no warning required—just shoot. You know my sister? She actually shot her husband once."
Ethan's eyebrows shot up in alarm.
"It was an accident, obviously. They were both wasted." She shrugged. "What was I saying? Oh right—even though they had good intentions, I..."
Penny's voice slowed, tinged with exhaustion. "I'm not in a great place right now. I told you I broke up with my boyfriend, right? Everything's a complete mess. I just want some peace and quiet to figure my life out."
Ethan still didn't speak, just listened attentively.
"Even though most guys I've dated are complete jerks," Penny gave a wry smile, "that doesn't automatically mean Leonard and Sheldon are too. At least... they're not as bad as those assholes. They're just incredibly, painfully awkward."
She took a sip of coffee, then looked up at Ethan again. "Right?"
Ethan smiled slightly and said softly, "They are phenomenally awkward."
The tension in the air loosened perceptibly. Penny's shoulders dropped, and she began to relax.
"Thanks for listening. I actually feel better now." She exhaled softly, and her smile became genuinely warmer. "You're really sweet, you know that?"
Ethan paused, didn't respond verbally, just offered a gentle smile.
He understood—sometimes what a woman truly needs isn't solutions or advice, but simply someone who will sit quietly and let her vent.
Penny let out a long sigh. The next second, she picked up a key from the coffee table and dangled it in front of him.
"You know what? I've decided to give you the spare key instead."
Ethan looked surprised. "To me?"
"Yeah. I was planning to give it to you anyway, but you weren't around that night. Now I'm even more convinced—at least you won't sneak into my place at three AM to vacuum." A playful smile crossed her lips.
"I promise I'll only use it for genuine emergencies." Ethan accepted the key and smiled. "I'm assuming Leonard already gave you our apartment key, so I don't need to worry about that?"
"Uh, yeah." Penny nodded, then looked at him curiously. "Speaking of which, you weren't home that night. How'd things go with your ex-girlfriend?"
"Ex-girlfriend?" Ethan was slightly thrown by Penny's conversational pivot. Weren't they just discussing vacuum cleaners? That escalated quickly.
"Mhmm." Penny narrowed her eyes with that naturally inquisitive expression women perfected.
"She was probably still upset about why we broke up originally, but we've patched things up now after I sent her and her roommate an air conditioner as a peace offering."
Ethan thought for a moment and answered honestly. "I don't mean she's materialistic—she appreciated that I was thinking about her, so she's not angry anymore. As for our current status, we're just friends. We'll probably keep in casual touch going forward, nothing more."
Penny tilted her head skeptically. "Really? You're absolutely sure it's not the 'friends with benefits' kind of casual touch?"
Ethan smiled and shook his head firmly. "No. That chapter's closed."
"Good." Penny leaned back against the couch cushions, propping her chin thoughtfully. "Because my ex isn't the type who can 'move on gracefully.' He still texts constantly, and he'll randomly show up outside my apartment door. Can you imagine? A guy in a worn denim jacket, clutching a six-pack of Coors, yelling, 'Baby, can we try one more time?'"
Ethan couldn't suppress a chuckle. "That actually sounds kind of romantic."
"Romantic?! That's terrifying." Penny rolled her eyes dramatically. "I was wearing my rattiest pajamas and had a clay face mask on at the time."
She paused, then added with a slightly provocative tone, "But you guys are all the same—even after breaking up, you're still thinking: 'Would she still sleep with me?'"
Ethan cleared his throat, a hint of embarrassment in his smile. "I have to admit, you're probably right about that."
"See? I knew it."
Ethan gathered his thoughts carefully. "In my opinion though, if a guy doesn't have that thought after a breakup, that's actually the woman's loss.
Having residual attraction to an ex-girlfriend—I'd rather interpret that as a compliment, proof that the woman in question is genuinely exceptional!"
"Wow!" Penny raised an eyebrow playfully. "So you're saying your ex-girlfriend is exceptional?"
"No! I mean—YOU'RE exceptional!"
"Wait, what?! Oh! Hahaha!"
Penny froze for a split second, then the realization hit. Her laughter exploded like a shaken soda bottle. She laughed so hard she swayed back and forth, even wiping moisture from the corners of her eyes.
"Ethan, if I ever become your ex-girlfriend someday—like, you're single, I'm single—" She pointed at him, her smile turning mischievous. "If you show up at my door, I absolutely won't turn you away!"
Ethan raised an eyebrow, half surprised, half amused. "Is that a promise?"
"No! It's a pact. Currently exclusive to you, and—same goes for me!" Penny raised her hand expectantly, eyes locked on Ethan.
Ethan hesitated briefly, looking at Penny's surprisingly serious expression. Finally, he raised his hand and gently high-fived hers.
"Deal!"
They looked at each other and smiled in perfect unison.
"Thanks, Ethan." Penny settled back into the couch, her tone genuinely appreciative. "Thanks for being willing to listen to me lose my mind a little."
"Anytime." Ethan stood up, smiling warmly. "So can I tell them the storm has officially passed?"
Penny considered for a moment. "You can, but add—for now."
"Understood." Ethan nodded and turned toward the door.
The moment he stepped into the hallway, he heard a soft voice from behind. "Ethan—"
He turned back.
Penny smiled and raised her coffee mug in a small toast. "You really are incredibly sweet."
Ethan paused, then smiled and gave a small wave before closing the door gently behind him.
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