My wife kicked me out of the house—a nod to Mao, you see. I had to go for a walk, looking for adventure among the stars. And lo and behold, I stumble upon an underground bunker on an unknown planet, where they immediately try to knock me out.
"Who are you? And why shouldn't I shoot you?" My pulse pistol was aimed at Harlan. He raised his hands comically.
- Sorry, I just wanted to make you better.
"You're an android, my scanners say you're not alive. Did you want to turn me into one too?" I demanded.
- Yes, you would become better.
"No, thank you. My natural lifespan is twenty thousand years. So, thank you, no need. Besides, I'm not human, so whatever equipment you have won't work on me."
"I see…" This big child seemed genuinely upset.
— What kind of planet is this? Are you all alone here?
"This is the planet Altair, the last repository designed to protect my people from radioactive storms and a poisoned atmosphere.
— Your people... a people of androids? Or were you biological life forms?
— We were biological life forms until we copied our minds into these bodies.
"And how long ago was that? Wait, hold on." I took the watch off my wrist and tossed it to him. In reality, it was simply a cult object; I already kept track of time on my tape device. "Evaluate the oscillation of the large hand. A full rotation is sixty seconds. Sixty seconds is one minute. Sixty minutes is an hour. Twenty-four hours is one day, that is, one rotation of the planet on its axis. A full rotation around the sun is three hundred and sixty-five days, that's a year."
Harlan thought for a second.
"Then that means I've been here for eleven thousand years. Quite a long time, if you think about it."
- And you weren't planning on leaving through the gate?
"Oh, no, no! I can't go anywhere—my power source will quickly run out. It's only supported by the local generator." "Here it is, the long-distance energy transmission technology I need."
— So, you're here alone, your bunker has been without maintenance for eleven thousand years, and you can't go to another planet for parts?
"In general, yes," the android agreed.
"I'm the ruler of a small state, but I have high-tech allies. They can provide qualified personnel, and I can provide the resources for repairs. Perhaps we could modify your generator so you can travel further, but that's not important right now. The important thing is that none of this is free. I'm interested in your people's technologies: remote energy transmission, as well as prosthetics. We can make an exchange. Would you agree to such a deal?"
- So you won't shoot me?
- No, I am not a cruel man and I always prefer trade to war.
Isara hiccupped at Urvashi.
"I'll finance the renovation of your bunker, and you'll grant me access to your race's research. You don't need it right now anyway, and you can trade it profitably to extend the bunker's survival, and perhaps even free yourself from it by developing technology that allows you unlimited travel to different worlds."
- Okay, I agree.
It's time to call the Tollans and let them know they've got a new headache. Sharing the technology—I wasn't opposed to it. In a way, the ability to copy a mind implies more than just implanting it into a body; it's, in theory, just digital immortality. Just like in Cyberpunk, but I don't feel like dissecting a human consciousness to see how it would function in a computer. I'm going to execute all the members of Unit 731, not imitate them in immoral experiments.
1950. Seattle.
"Sam," I greeted the detective I'd hired to find Seth. We met at the motel where he was staying.
"As I mentioned earlier, I found him," the man said, giving a detailed answer. "A religious group, they follow an unconventional religion, they trade in weapons, and a lot of other things matched up. They believe their leader is the reincarnation of the Egyptian god Set, who is destined to come and rule the world. They are extremely fanatical. Local sheriffs have received numerous statements from the relatives of those they have recruited into their cult. But every investigation has led to one thing: the followers are entirely voluntary."
"Thank you," I put the suitcase on the bed and opened it, showing the banknotes. "As agreed, I'm fulfilling my part of the deal."
The private detective began checking the money, which took some time.
"I spent two years looking for them. You still won't tell me why you're looking for them?" he asked me.
"I don't care about the cult, I'm only interested in the one who calls himself Seth. A bunch of German bastards who didn't want to hang themselves started to disperse, wanting to maintain their privileged lifestyle. Basically, by '44, everyone knew everything, and they had prepared escape routes. People like Seth laundered money for them. Few paid attention to religious organizations. Also, some of the German high command were occultists. Basically, I want to take their money away. I had little information, only about one cell somewhere in the US, with a leader named Seth, based on an ancient Egyptian god. So I invested in finding him.
"Not a bad investment," Sam pointed to his suitcase with money.
"I still have to enter fanatic territory to pick up Seth and find out where the money is. So, yes, I invested well, but the return on investment will be significant. Essentially, this was all about the money. Did you expect anything else?"
"Yeah, I don't know what I expected. I didn't find much information about you either."
"That's acceptable. To ease your conscience, I don't plan to storm this house, launch a military operation, and kill every foolish boy or girl. I'll set up surveillance on the house, and when Seth rides into town, we'll take it. And the cult will simply disappear. I don't need any more bloodshed. The disappearance of a notorious cult leader, which creates problems for the local sheriffs, is one thing; a massacre is quite another. Therefore, my goals are mercenary.
- What will you do with Seth when he gives away everything he has?
"Sam, Seth is not a good man at all. He works with the Nazis, and he's also an authoritarian, bastard leader who kills his followers and other people. He probably burns the bodies and takes them away from his camp, and it's practically impossible to prove. Everyone would be better off without him. And I'd advise you to buy a house on the beach and live the good life, after all, you've worked hard enough already."
Sam sensibly decided he really shouldn't get involved, took the money, and left. After that, I pulled out a phone that uses a high-orbit satellite to contact all my agents.
— Everyone to Seattle, Prima-level threat.
To avoid spooking Seth, I'm not using Goa'uld technology thousands of kilometers away from him; he might spot me on the remnants of Imperial radar. So it'll take a little longer, so it's worth holding off. But I won't just attack the System Lord's lair, Star Wars style. First, I'm not the main character, and second, I'm out of luck. First, Maine's guys will set up an observation post and patiently gather as much information as possible through cameras, and the satellite will also take photos. I don't want to harm these people under the radar, so we'll use intars and attack at night. Preparations will take time, so I'll leave that to my subordinates for now, and I'll go talk to a politician in Indonesia.
They recently gained independence, but their president is a Muslim nationalist who has sold out to both the Japanese and the USSR, which will attack Malaysia and behave quite aggressively. Installing my own protégé is the easiest way to control the country. It will be another country under my control, which will act as a proxy for purchasing equipment. However, I don't think I'll need it in 10 years, but having agents on Earth is quite valuable.
Plus, I have something to offer my agents: a hundred extra years of life—that's a pretty good guarantee of loyalty. And also the knowledge that, just as I easily killed the previous president, I'll kill them too if they incur my wrath. Overall, my conditions are simple: economic development of my states, the absence of terrorism and other perks of country building. I can only be glad I didn't have that on Urvashi; I stifled it with advantageous marriages and antibiotics. Although my achievements are only antibiotics, since Isara proposed a dynastic marriage. My plans include bringing Ethiopia (the local king is crazy) and Kenya under my control, at least in trade terms.
To liberate the latter from British rule ten years early, the First Cohort of the First Legion, the one commanded by Imotekh, is training. He knows Earth is a relatively advanced planet that has forgotten the light of the gods. And that I want to conquer it through a long military and political campaign. So he trains with German weapons, to emulate the local armed forces. And frankly, I feel sorry for the British, very, very sorry. I feel so sorry, I'll send flowers to their graves.
Why am I so fixated on Kenya? Because a liberation movement is already taking shape there, and because the British Empire needs to put an end to all these colonies. Also, because I'm bored. Of course, you can justify it on economic grounds: by subjugating Ethiopia and Kenya, we can start, and then Somalia will follow. Control over an important region connected to the Suez Canal provides a very convenient logistical hub. This applies more to Ethiopia, but with Kenya, important ports can also be built there.
"Yeah, who am I kidding? I just want to blow someone up. It's a shame I was too late for the Indonesian-Dutch War to put an end to Dutch colonialism. But then, the 20th century was the end of all colonial powers."
In my opinion, it's better to base oneself on a network of regional alliances backed by trade relations. It also saves a huge army. For example, Kenya has 10,000 British troops and 21,000 police officers. That's a total of 31,000 people doing all sorts of nonsense. And then there are the white settlers. Basically, all this colonization is a complete headache. It's better to keep your forces concentrated rather than dispersed. All my planets are guarded by the Monolith—a five-story pyramid that can also fly on antigravity engines.
Essentially, it's a fortress from which to deploy and a strategic point to which to retreat. Because the gate is locked in a room that can shoot every enemy that emerges, my tactics—attacking through the gate—are completely useless. But if a fleet attacks the planet... Then orbital defenses should work. If they don't, then infantry won't be much use either.