"Why do you ask?"
Heshu's gaze darkened.
Who had been running their mouth in front of Naruto?
Did they not want their tongue anymore?
Hanzo felt the temperature in the room plummet. He silently went to the bathroom to heat water. He'd have to give Naruto a bath later. The kid was a walking mud ball.
"Did my relatives… die because of me?"
The more Naruto thought about it, the worse he felt.
His heart ached for Heshu-neechan, but he was also terrified she secretly hated him.
What if she didn't want him anymore?
"No."
Heshu shook his head. It was clearly because of that brat Kabuto that Takenouchi got hurt.
"Really?"
Naruto's tears stopped abruptly.
"Naruto, come here."
Heshu beckoned to the boy standing by the door.
Naruto obediently walked over.
Heshu scooped him up from the floor, ignoring the grime, and held him in his arms.
"Naruto," he said, smoothing down his spiky, slightly prickly hair. "You are the kindest kid in the whole world. You've never hurt anyone."
"But… they all say I hurt them… that I'm the reason they became orphans…"
From Naruto's muddled words, Heshu pieced together what had happened while he was playing outside.
He sighed, then spoke with gentle seriousness. "They're lying. You're not the one who made them orphans."
"Then who was it?"
Naruto's eyes widened.
That horrible person, he'd… he'd definitely… what would he do? He wasn't sure.
"It was me!"
Inside the seal, Kurama snarled with savage pride.
"It was a man in a mask," Heshu said. "He controlled the Tailed Beasts. He hurt a lot of people."
"What's a Tailed Beast? Is a mask-man someone who wears a mask?"
"The Tailed Beast is this."
Heshu lifted Naruto's shirt, revealing his plump, pale stomach, and pointed at the seal etched there.
"My stomach is a Tailed Beast!"
Naruto's eyes went huge.
"…"
Kurama was struck speechless.
"No, the Tailed Beast is inside your stomach," Heshu corrected. "The bad man controlled it and made it hurt people. You are the one keeping it locked away."
"So then I… I'm…"
Naruto's eyes began to shine.
Heshu nodded, saying the title the boy was too shy to voice. "That's right. You're a little hero."
Tch!
Kurama bared his fangs.
He wasn't angry.
He'd expected Tsukimi Heshu to pin all the blame on him.
[Ding! Affection from animal: Kurama +10!]
Naruto's cheeks flushed pink. He pursed his lips, trying to hide a smile.
Then a thought struck him. He asked carefully, "Heshu-neechan… what about my mom and dad?"
Naruto's question made Heshu pause.
He'd always felt that keeping Naruto in the dark about his parents was cruel—cruel to Naruto, and cruel to Minato and Kushina.
"Your dad was a hero," Heshu said softly. "He was my senior. A great shinobi who sacrificed himself to save the village. Your mom… she was beautiful. And kind. Always trying to set people up…"
"What's 'set people up'?"
"You don't need to know that."
"Neechan, don't we… have the same parents?" Naruto asked innocently, pointing at himself, then at the busy Hanzo.
"…"
Gods above.
Heshu's eye twitched.
Hanzo was old enough to be their grandparents.
"Are Mom and Dad… not coming back?" Naruto asked, his small hands clenched together. He tried to sound casual, but the tension was plain.
Good question.
Heshu stroked his chin, pretending to think deeply.
"They're not coming back for now," he said, meeting Naruto's bright, hopeful eyes.
"Will they come back later?"
Heshu nodded firmly. "Of course they will!"
He was just fostering this kid temporarily. Major life events down the road—that was for Minato and Kushina to handle themselves.
Naruto threw his arms around Heshu's neck, beaming. "That's great!"
Once Naruto was settled, he went with Hanzo for his bath without a fuss.
In Heshu's mind, the System's voice piped up, tinged with surprise.
"Host, you still have a large amount of Affection unused."
"I know," Heshu replied calmly.
"The Host isn't going to use it?"
Heshu shook his head. "I have a use for it."
The skill he wanted required a staggering amount of Affection. To avoid a repeat of last time, he intended to save up a massive stockpile first.
Time flowed quietly, marked by the changing light.
One year later.
Heshu sat in his office, reviewing documents.
A knock sounded at the door.
"Hokage-sama, Kakashi requests an audience," the guard announced.
"Let him in."
"Yes, sir."
Kakashi's figure appeared before the desk.
"Kakashi. Something you need?"
This past year had been pure retirement living for Kakashi, much to Nara Sōsai's envy.
"Ah, well… you see…" Kakashi's eyes darted around the room.
"?"
Heshu narrowed his eyes.
"Kakashi. Spit it out."
Kakashi cleared his throat and made his request. "Hokage-sama, for this mission to Kumogakure… please send me and Might Guy."
With the Five Kage Alliance, the villages had grown more peaceful over the years. Development accelerated. They'd even created a new program: exchange shinobi. Sending each other's best promoted trust and accelerated jutsu development. It was similar to the university exchange student programs from his past life.
"Sure."
Heshu didn't know why Kakashi—usually interested in nothing but Icha Icha Paradise—was suddenly volunteering. But it wasn't a bad thing. Those two would be fine. Kakashi's Chidori and Guy's taijutsu might even improve in Kumogakure.
"Thank you, Hokage-sama!"
Kakashi hurried out.
That very noon, Kakashi and Guy, armed with their mission scrolls and travel packs, left Konoha in a hurry.
"In such a rush?"
On his way home from work, Heshu heard the report, his expression turning odd. It was as if they couldn't stand to stay in the village a moment longer.
He soon found out why.
"New book release!"
"Master Jiraiya's magnum opus!"
"Hailed by Jiraiya himself as his final work!"
"This one's based on the Fifth Hokage!"
The bookstore's promotional shouts reached Heshu's ears. He stopped walking.
"No way."
"Jiraiya wrote a book about me?"
"I'm officially a celebrity now."
There were levels to fame. Being discussed was one thing. Having a biography written about you was another. Someone as famous as the Third Hokage, Sarutobi Hiruzen—no one wrote biographies about him except himself. But Heshu? He was the protagonist of a biographical novel, penned willingly by the bestselling author Jiraiya.
"I'll take one."
Heshu addressed the bookstore owner.
"H-Hokage-sama!" The owner excitedly thrust a book into Heshu's hands. "Hokage-sama, please! It's a gift! I could never take your money!"
Heshu looked down at the title.
Tales of a Shinobi World Hero — The Love and Hate of Tsukimi Heshu
"…"
The book suddenly felt scorching hot in his hands.
He wasn't even twenty yet. What 'love and hate'?
Heshu's figure vanished from the bookstore.
The owner sighed with emotion. "To think the Hokage-sama would grace us with his presence! What an honor!"
He looked down. Money—the exact price of the book—rested on the counter, placed there at some unseen moment.
"Waaaah…"
Truly, the Hokage-sama.
Moved to tears, the owner waddled into the back room. He hauled out a wooden sign, grabbed a brush, and scribbled furiously.
Five minutes later, the sign hung above the entrance.
Soon, the bookstore was packed.
The thin wooden sign swayed in the breeze, its colorful letters attracting countless passersby:
THE BOOKSTORE EVEN THE FIFTH HOKAGE, TSUKIMI HESHU, SAYS IS GREAT!!!
Nara Sōsai, also on his way home, saw the sign. His expression was complicated.
What audacious fool dared to use the Hokage for promotion? And… would people actually believe such an obvious ploy?
"Even the Hokage says it's good?" Sarutobi Aoki muttered as he walked past Sōsai. "I'll go in and buy one!"
Nara Sōsai: "…"
Heshu returned home and tore open the book's wrapping.
Outside, he had to maintain the Hokage's aloof image. At home, there was no need.
He saw the full cover. And fell silent.
"PFFT— BAHAHAHAHAHA!"
The System's raucous laughter echoed in his mind.
"Why is it so… suggestive?"
"What god-tier artist drew this?"
"HAHAHAHA!"
The System's reaction was justified.
Against a deep, solemn black background, on a glaringly red couch, sat Heshu. One leg was crossed over the other, wearing a form-fitting purple qipao. The Hokage's hat was perched on his head.
Heshu had never worn this outfit. The dress was far too sensual. He would never choose to wear something like this.
He never knew the shinobi world had such artistic… talent. The drawing made him look curvaceous, breathtakingly beautiful…
Heshu gritted his teeth.
He never should have expected anything from a Jiraiya book. The man's bestselling work was Icha Icha Paradise, after all.
Heshu took a deep breath and opened the book.
The foreword was by Sarutobi Hiruzen. Of course, in this biography about Heshu, Hiruzen's thousand-word foreword spent eight hundred words talking about… himself.
"…"
What a talent.
Heshu kept reading.
The beginning recounted his achievements. Heshu nodded along. Some parts were exaggerated, but it was mostly accurate.
"What the hell is this?"
Heshu frowned.
The final section was a special column: Jiraiya's Interviews with People Close to Hokage-sama, Tsukimi Heshu.
First Interviewee — Uchiha Masako.
Jiraiya: "Little beauty, describe the Hokage's image in your heart!"
Masako: "Hokage-sama is the gentlest, strongest person in the whole world! She's the most beautiful person I've ever seen! So reliable! Last time in Iwagakure, Hokage-sama was so cool! I just couldn't take it…"
Jiraiya: "OK! Masako-san, you can stop now!"
Masako: "You don't understand, Hokage-sama… blah blah blah…"
Jiraiya: "…"
Second Interviewee — Might Guy.
Jiraiya: "What luck, running into you! Guy, describe the Hokage's image in your heart!"
Guy: "Eh? An interview? Jiraiya-sama is interviewing me?"
Jiraiya: "Yes!"
Guy: "Wait, wait! Let me go bathe and change into my spandex first! And fix my hair!"
Jiraiya: "…We're starting now."
Guy: "Eh? So fast? Well, alright! Hokage-sama is probably the woman every man in the world wants! Beautiful and powerful! Soul-stirring! Of course, Hokage-sama has one fatal flaw!"
Jiraiya: "Oh? You have my attention. What fatal flaw?"
Guy: "Her cooking! Hokage-sama's culinary skills are truly deadly… mmmph! Kaka… mmmph! Kakashi! Why are you covering my mouth! Mmmph… Jiraiya-sama… mmmph… save me!"
Jiraiya: "…"
Third Interviewee — Kakashi Hatake.
Jiraiya: "What incredible luck! Kakashi has willingly joined our interview!"
Kakashi: "Are you sure 'willingly' is the right word?"
Jiraiya: "Ahaha… Kakashi, such a kidder!"
Kakashi: "Jiraiya-sama, my wrist hurts a little. Can we let go before the interview?"
Jiraiya: "Ahaha… Of course!"
Kakashi: "Well… um… I suppose… maybe… I think… Hokage-sama is… good."
Jiraiya: "Kakashi, give us more! I heard the Fourth and his wife once tried to set you up with… mmmph… Kakashi… mmmph… are you trying to kill me…"
Kakashi: "Ahem. That never happened. Hokage-sama has always been an upright and powerful person."
Jiraiya: "I heard you had a childhood crush on the Hok… mmmph… Kakashi… mmmph… no respect… for your teacher…"
Guy: "Kakashi! Jiraiya-sama is turning blue! Let go!"
Fourth Interviewee — Yugito Nii.
Yugito: "Hokage-sama is a very charismatic woman. It's hard not to be moved by her."
Jiraiya: "I feel like I've stumbled upon a secret."
Yugito: "Isn't this common knowledge in Konoha?"
Jiraiya: "Hey! Wait! Uchiha Juri! Yugito! You two, stop! No fighting on Konoha's streets!"
Fifth Interviewee — Rishie.
Jiraiya: "We are immensely honored to have invited the person closest to Hokage-sama — the live-in maid of the Hokage's household, Miss Rishie!"
Rishie: "Are you sure it was an 'invitation'?"
Jiraiya: "Ahaha, I was just worried Miss Rishie might be uncomfortable, so I paid a home visit!"
Rishie: "Fix the door on your way out."
Jiraiya: "…"
Rishie: "I don't know much about Tsukimi Heshu."
Jiraiya: "Ahaha, we won't force you then! By the way, Miss Rishie, you feel… familiar."
Rishie: "Of course I'm familiar. I'm the one who gave you three the title 'Sannin'."
Jiraiya: "Huh? What did you just say, Miss Rishie? Sorry, sorry! I didn't catch that!"
Rishie: "I said get lost."
Jiraiya: "…"
At the very end of the book, a small line read:
Cover illustration provided by Hatake Kakashi.
"…"
Now Heshu understood why Kakashi and Guy were in such a hurry to leave Konoha.
He placed his hand on the coffee table.
A second later, the table dissolved into dust.
Hanzo, utterly unperturbed, remarked, "I'll order a new one this afternoon."
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