I held my steaming cup close, using it to warm myself.
Each sip of mint and black seed soothed my congested throat.
But what would soothe my equally congested chest?
I had caught a cold.
Of course I had—returning home last night drenched, shivering beneath the rain.
I took another sip and slightly pulled back the curtain to look at the sky.
Still gray.
I love winter.
I love watching clouds heavy with rain preparing to release their burden. I love the sound of rain striking the windows. I love the stillness that follows.
If only all my days were filled with such peace.
I glanced beside me.
The fluffy sphere was still there.
It hadn't left.
It hadn't disappeared.
And yes—I had taken the medication.
But unlike before, it was useless this time. I had even doubled the dose on my own this morning.
Still nothing.
It clung to me.
Refused to leave.
In fact…
I had begun to grow accustomed to its presence.
I had even started talking to it about my worries.
Isn't that wonderful?
The faceless monster hadn't appeared again—which was reassuring. But what had the sphere done to make it retreat? Compared to that creature, the sphere almost seemed… adorable.
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't remember.
For now, I had made a decision.
I would not stop living.
I placed the cup—now merely warm, no longer steaming—on my desk and took out my dear notebook. I had bought it years ago, though I couldn't remember exactly when. I had intended to write a diary in it.
As usual, I never did.
But today—
First: I will request another appointment at the clinic with Dr. Essam.
"To adjust the dosage… or find an alternative medication. Whatever it takes."
Second: I will continue my studies and obtain my graduation certificate.
Third…
"Noha hasn't called me. Should I call her?"
Halfway through writing [Call Noha], I quickly scratched it out.
I rewrote:
Third: Call Zain. It's been a while since he contacted me.
"And by the way, I wanted to ask him about his friend Anas… He mentioned something about a black sphere? Maybe? I'm not sure what he meant exactly."
Fifth—
By the way.
The mint and black seed drink reminded me of the scent of mint that had filled my room before Zain traveled.
And the black hair beneath my desk.
Should I check?
I hesitated.
What if something else crawled out? I hadn't recovered from the consecutive shocks yet.
Just a quick look?
As I drifted in thought, a tapping sound from the window interrupted me.
*Tap.*
I ignored it and continued writing my fifth goal.
*Tap.*
It's a bird. Yes, yes. Don't look. I've started getting used to these things. I don't know why a bird would tap against the glass while it's pouring rain—but I won't look.
*Tap.*
Should I put on my headphones and listen to something pleasant instead?
*Tap.*
"Fine. One look."
I slapped the desk lightly and stood.
When I cast a quick glance toward the window—
Ah. That's…
It was a bird.
A real one.
Truly real?
The poor thing was drenched, tapping desperately against the glass. Guilt flooded me for ignoring it.
It reminded me of myself.
I hurried to the window, opened it, and carefully picked it up. It was trembling.
I looked around, found a towel, folded it twice, and gently dried the rain from its feathers.
There was no heater in my room, and I feared holding it close—it might catch my fever.
So I rushed to the kitchen, brought a pot of boiling water, then placed a larger bowl upside down over it.
Thus, I made a small warm platform for the little creature to rest on.
It fell asleep.
And as I watched it, I drifted off as well.
The sphere—its eyes unopened since last night—remained with us. I couldn't tell whether it was asleep too… or simply watching.
The rain stopped.
The world grew quiet and beautiful.
"If only every day were like this," I wished.
But something inside me whispered that it was impossible.
The pleasant scent of mint mingled with the smell of rain, and suddenly I remembered something I had forgotten.
The hair beneath my desk.
The arrival of the guest had distracted me from checking.
Thank God—I found nothing.
I returned to bed, pulled the blanket up to my chin, and slipped into sleep.
I had barely begun dreaming of a world where every day was as peaceful as this one—
When another knock woke me.
Another bird, I thought, a faint smile forming on my lips.
I walked toward the window, expecting to find another small drenched creature in need of help.
But it wasn't.