***
BEEP BEEP
I breathed out a heavy sigh of relief after ending the call.
When his caller ID appeared out of nowhere, I nearly had a heart attack.
And yet...
The moment his voice reached my ears, a wave of soft, subtle emotions washed over me.
It was as though fireflies had begun fluttering around me in the darkness of night, their gentle lights illuminating the emptiness.
Tiny sparks of warmth surrounded me, tender and delicate. It felt almost like being enchanted by a surreal wave of magic.
Waves always meet the shore.
No matter how great or small they are, eventually, they find their way back.
But whenever I think of Haider...
I imagine myself standing far away, watching his silhouette in the middle of the endless ocean.
And he would remain lost in his own thoughts, unaware that I was quietly admiring him from afar. The beauty of his existence felt too fragile to disturb.
I liked to make myself believe that, one day, he would look at me the way I looked at him.
Perhaps it was selfish.
Perhaps I was simply longing to be acknowledged by him.
It was difficult to tell whether I was being greedy or whether I only wanted to know that I held a place within his heart.
I wanted to believe that his words were not empty. That they carried genuine sincerity. That they were filled with a longing he had never voiced.
"He was the one most opposed to our marriage."
Those words echoed on repeat within my mind.
There was something unsettling about them. Something I couldn't ignore.
If he had fought against my brother's opposition...
If he had endured that fear...
Then why?
Why had he wanted this marriage so desperately?
...
DING DING
"Meow."
Lion came rushing towards me, immediately leaping into my embrace and rubbing himself against me.
"Someone missed me?"
I lifted Lion into my arms and stared at him. The white fur on his tummy was slightly ruffled.
Haider had most likely petted him this morning.
Unable to resist my curiosity, I buried my face into Lion's soft fur and took a deep breath.
His tummy smelled like him...
I placed the cutlery back into their designated sections before collapsing onto the living room sofa.
My hair was still slightly damp from the shower, and my cheeks carried a lasting warmth from the hot water.
It was already 11 PM.
It seemed he wouldn't be returning tonight.
My gaze drifted towards his door, positioned directly across from the living room.
Slowly, I stood up, swallowing nervously.
Before I knew it, I was standing in front of his door.
I had already entered once...Would he mind if I did so again?
Gradually, my thoughts became clouded, and my hand moved towards the doorknob.
The door creaked open.
I peeked inside with a guilty expression.
I shouldn't be doing this...
I wouldn't normally act this way.
But today, too many complicated emotions had been swirling within me.
My curiosity had failed to keep itself captive inside me.
I wanted to understand him.
That day...
That book.
With quiet steps, I entered the room once more and searched through the bookshelf.
The faint minty aroma lingered around me, and the cool atmosphere of the room refused to leave my skin. The sensation was ready overwhelming.
Not a single book had been misplaced.
Everything remained exactly where I had seen it before.
Yes...
The book.
Slowly, I pulled it out.
A maroon cover decorated with golden leaves, and a large Arabic inscription engraved in gold.
Nur Hayaati?
I carefully sat at his desk and flipped through the pages.
The title translated to: The Light of My Life.
Inside were short poems accompanied by a few stories.
Curiosity pulled me towards one of them.
Nur is light,
Paved through my fight.
Longing and belonging,
To one's heart.
Forever I stared into the dark.
To you who slumber beneath the night,
Who never feared and shone with delight.
Nur of mine,
Who shattered the dark,
With your light,
Illuminating this lonely night.
I stared at the words. He wrote these poems? What meaning did these words hold for him?
My eyes drifted towards the clock on his bedside table.
12 AM.
Sleepiness began weighing over me, but I wanted to read more.
Just one more page...
But before I knew it, my eyelids grew heavy. And my eyes slowly closed.
***
Haider entered the house as quietly as a mouse and made his way towards his room.
The door was slightly open.
Immediately, his brows furrowed.
He stepped inside without making the slightest sound.
And there...
He found her. Sleeping peacefully against his desk.
At first, confusion clouded his expression. But as he approached, his features softened.
She looked so calm.
So peaceful.
He placed his bag down carefully before taking a seat beside her. His eyes drifted towards the book she held in her hands.
Was she curious about this book? Had she read it?
Nevertheless, he didn't wake her.
Instead, he simply watched her in silence. A smile slowly formed upon his lips.
A genuine, gaint, unguarded smile.