The food on the table looked appetising, but I felt nauseous. The groom was being surrounded by relatives while I sat here, trying to regain some energy.
"Ariya..." My mother called out softly. "Eat something, will you?"
"I'm not hungry..."
I was far from thinking about food. Moments ago, I had proclaimed that man as my husband. Countless thoughts screamed in my ears, and everything felt suffocating.
(Ya Allah...)
I called out desperately.
Out of the blue, my brother stepped forward. He picked up the spoon from the table, cooled the food, and offered it to me himself.
"Eat from my hand. This may be the last time, by my Lord's will."
My heart wavered just like his smile. My chest tightened, and with tears sliding down my cheeks, I opened my mouth.
He kept a brave face throughout, his smile never fading.
Mother went ahead to comfort Father, while my brother continued feeding me spoon after spoon of rice.
And unbeknownst to me, my brother's lips quivered in silence.
It was getting late, and soon the time for people to bid me farewell arrived. I wasn't sure how to react. Everything was too overwhelming.
One by one, relatives came and gave me tearful hugs, whispering their best wishes into my ears. My best friend sobbed uncontrollably. For obvious reasons, Mother and Father teared up as well.
So far, I was still handling it well.
However, one man still remained.
The boy I grew up with. The one I had spent almost twenty years with, and in all those years, I had never seen him cry.
My brother was choking back his tears, and immediately, all the effort I had put into staying strong went in vain.
I quickly gathered the edge of my gown and ran straight into his embrace. It didn't matter what people were whispering about.
My eyes stung as I bawled like a child, my arms tightly wrapped around my brother.
It felt as if I was losing a part of myself- a very important one.
Nonetheless, I was taken away and made to sit in the passenger seat beside my husband. The grief and feeling of foreboding sank deeper as he started the car.
I prevented myself from glancing at my brother one last time, because I knew exactly what that would do to me.
Silence filled the air as he drove along the quiet night streets. My body and eyes ached for different reasons, yet they felt strangely similar.
I had not once looked at him after taking my vows. Although I did not know what was going through his mind, I was grateful that he remained silent and did not protest against my endless sobs.
He remained diligent and composed as always. But now, I had many more things to worry about.
He parked the car and helped me out while pulling the keys from his pocket. The villa before me was furnished in black and white, providing a clean and elegant atmosphere.
I didn't have the time to admire it.
I clenched my gown tightly, pressing my lips together as nervousness overwhelmed me.
And with a slight whimper, I finally asked,
"Which room would I be staying in?"
He paused while his back was turned toward me. Slowly, he lifted his fingers and pointed.
"That room is yours. I'll be staying there. Call me if you need anything."
Wow.
This was the first time he had spoken such a long sentence.
Aside from that, a wave of relief washed over my entire body, and I almost let out a sigh.
Great... I didn't have to be beside him throughout the night.
He took off his coat, revealing the well-built figure underneath. His white shirt clung slightly to his muscles, outlining his physique. After that, he ran his fingers through his hair.
Perhaps he thought I had already left, because he began unbuttoning his shirt.
Instantly, I gathered my gown and bolted toward my room.
My heart raced, and my face burned with embarrassment. I only hoped he hadn't heard me running away.
I looked at myself one last time in the mirror before changing.
My face appeared exhausted, my limbs trembling slightly. My makeup was ruined, and my nose was still stuffy from all the crying.
Was I really like this the entire evening?
Ugh... just thinking about it made me embarrassed.
Still...
This felt too impossible to be true.
I was married.
My gaze fell upon the ring resting on my finger.
It all felt like an endless dream. My parents had carried this responsibility for so many years, and yet I struggled to even comprehend it for a single moment.
The problem must be me.
I needed to remain logical and approach this marriage with responsibility and duty.
I had to learn to adapt and carry myself with honour as his wife.
From now on, my name would be Ariya Bin Haider.
I quickly raised my hands in prayer before the night grew deeper.
"Oh my Lord, please make me a good wife."