As usual, Zenor's mind was already collapsing into itself by the time he got to Maya's house. Shivering from mental instability, Zenor pushes on the doorbell once while trying not to suffocate from the pressure his mind is putting on his body.
No response. After waiting a while, Zenor pushes the doorbell again but still no response and so he reaches for the door which immediately swings open. It wasn't locked, hadn't even been jammed properly. Barely holding on to his mental health, Zenor stumbles into the living room with every small sound and stimulus pushing into his mind like needles.
"Maya?.", Zenor softly calls out though his voice is barely a whisper due to his fatigue. Looking around, Zenor uses the walls to support himself as he looks around the living room where he catches a pair of black boots that are definitely not feminine.
Completely unaware of the possible implications of what he had seen, Zenor moves closer to Maya's bedroom and then he hears noises. It's Maya, she seems like she's in pain but.. not exactly.
In an instant, Zenor's anxiety switches to worry as he moves to the bedroom and opens the door without thinking twice. Stumbling inside, Zenor sees a picture he was never prepared for. Someone else was with Maya, they were in the bed together with barely any clothes on them and.. Maya was definitely not in pain.
"Darn!. What the F man?!.", The dude yells at Zenor as he reaches to cover himself with some sheets.
For a few seconds, Zenor who had always been an extreme overthinker forgot how to think. His mind goes blank as his body trembles with an emotion he does not understand. It wasn't anger nor pain, it wasn't hate nor rage.. it was calm.
The kind of calm that's scarier that a thousand storms. The kind of calm that pacifies hell and erases compassion. Zenor looks at Maya's shocked face for a few more seconds and then he calmly closes the door and finds his way out of the apartment.
Zenor's body no longer shivered, his steps no longer faltered and his eyes did not waver as he walked away. Just walking, not a single thought entered into Zenor's head as his mind seems both unable and unwilling to process what he had just witnessed.
Zenor does not know how long or how far he walked but he must not have walked for quite a while before she called his name.
"ZENOR!!.", Maya yelled and Zenor slowly brings his pace to a stop before calmly turning to her as she walks to him.
"What you saw there was a..", Maya tried to explain. To lie to the fool she thought he was though Zenor cut her off with a strangely calm voice.
"Why did you date me?. You know, I must have tried really hard to convince myself that we had something even though your mask often slipped but now I want to know the truth. Why did you date me?.. Did you ever truly feel something real for me?.", Zenor slowly asks Maya who keeps silent for a few seconds and then her lips parts to speak in barely a whisper.
"No.", Maya responds honestly and Zenor blinks briefly with his gaze calmly resting on her face for the full truth.
"Whatever you thought we had, it wasn't real. It was paid for by your parents. In a few weeks they plan to send you to a government facility in England and so they paid me to give you a taste of mundane before they send you away.. forever.", Maya says though the gravity of her words doesn't break Zenor's calm as he nods twice to himself.
"You are cruel.", Zenor says calmly to Maya who swallows softly and then Zenor calmly turns to walk away without waiting for a response.
"Life is cruel.", Zenor whispers to himself as he silently walks through the streets like a ghost amongst men. Zenor walked and walked and kept on walking. Time had no meaning, Zenor felt nothing and said nothing as he kept walking forward calmly and silently.
"I never choose to be born like this. If only I was born.. normal. If only I was born in a world where nothing is predetermined. If only my fate wasn't already carved in place." Murmuring these words to himself, Zenor suddenly hears a scream and so he looks forward only to see a red car racing at him with a speed that would do more than fracture bones.
BAM!!!.
The collision was instantaneous and Zenor's body is thrown several meters into the air as he falls back down with a good part of his body immediately turning into a pasta of crimson.
Before the first person even tried to call for the ambulance, Zenor's heart had stopping beating. A climatic end to a bitter life.
..
..
Nothingness.
No light, no darkness, no flesh, no bones. Zenor finds his consciousness floating in an area that can only be called void.
In a formless and weightless state, Zenor can think and feel but he has no body and apart from the feeling of floating Zenor receives no other external stimuli.
'So I died.', Zenor thinks to himself and for the next few minutes he lets himself process his new reality as he floats silently.
Without a body, Zenor no longer feels the weight of his hyperactive mind as much as he used to. There's no hormones to flood his brain, his nerves aren't firing to destruction, his vision isn't spiraling, his hands aren't trembling, his lungs aren't heavy, his stomach isn't twisting and his head isn't ringing.
Everything is.. calm. Zenor feels a kind of calm that cannot be described with words and floating silently Zenor focuses his mind on reviewing his life and every pathway he didn't take but could have to change his ending.
Time flows by silently as Zenor reviews his mind only to come to a single conclusion.
'Nothing about my life have ever been in my control.', Zenor thinks to himself as a burst of anger rises like steam through his formless consciousness. Focused more on his anger than his formless surroundings, something suddenly impacts into Zenor's conciseness while driving him forward with shocking speed.
If Zenor had been floating before then he is currently moving at super-sonic speed and the new pace is shocking for Zenor who feels the shift in motion as a foreign entity merges with his consciousness.
Space seems to wrap and Zenor's consciousness breaks through a crystalline-like film as everything comes to a stop. Without his will, Zenor finds his consciousness spreading and reforming into something more solid. A few seconds later Zenor senses something physical.
Darkness.
Sensing darkness is not a great sign but it means that Zenor is no longer in the void where darkness does not even exist.
Holding back his curiosity, Zenor's consciousness continues to reform and then he senses something else.. Stiffness.
'My body is stiff.', Zenor thinks to himself and then a strange thought hits him.
'How do I have a body?.', Zenor questions as he begins to hear a faint but steady heartbeat.
..
..